Chapter 10, yay. Thank you for the ones who left me a review and for the ones still reading this. Means a lot really. I think I'm more at ease to write from Quinn's POV, don't know. Sometimes I feel more receptive of her character. Well, with that i'm letting you know that this story will continue (if still want to) after the Titanic mess, if they both survive or only one, the story will continue. Now, enjoy.
Quinn's POV
3pm, April 12, 1912
Quinn have been surprised whe she saw Rachel come to talk to her in the third class section. Of course she have followed her, and since then they have been talking while walking on the first class deck. Because Quinn was like that, she have felt that Rachel was not at ease on E Deck with everyone staring at her, so Quinn have told her that it was okay to go back to B deck. Quinn didn't minded all the stares and looks she got, most of the time Rachel glared at them to make them understand to...shut the hell up and mind their own buisness.
Rachel was one of a kind, there was no one like her, that Quinn knew. Rachel was a brillant young and beautiful woman who knew what she wanted the most, but she was also chained to her class, stuck in the middle of a room where no one really noticied her. Quinn wanted to reach her, to make her understand that she could become who she wanted, that she could be free.
Freedom was the key to Rachel's heart. Whenever she was laughing with her, Quinn could see that fire burning inside her eyes that didn't wanted to be tamed, she wanted to travel the world, to be around people who could challenge her. But here, she was destined - no forced - to marry a man she didn't seemed to love.
They talked about their life, well at first Rachel was the one asking questions after questions, and Quinn have felt guilty of lying to her about her family. Well, technicaly she didn't lied, because she never answered that part of the question. And it was not really the moment to talk about heavy stuff like that.
Rachel have loooked at Quinn drawings, and she really have been surprised and...admirative of Quinn's work. It flattered Quinn and make her heart skip a beat. It was easy for anyone to draw, if you really tried you could do anything, but the difficult part of the 'I am an artist' was that people didn't really payed attention to what you tried to express, to make everyone see past the big things. Details where important, most of the time it was the only important thing about people or landscapes. It makes you see past your own thoughts that could lead you to judge before really looking at it.
Quinn have been amused when Rachel found the one portrait of the prostitute from Paris. The way Rachel stayed silent and then talked with some kind of jealousy in her voice made Quinn's heart melt. She assured her that nothing have happened with her, that she was only focused on her hands. And it was true.
It was few weeks after she had givin up Beth to adoption, Quinn was not feeling well and Noah was always away, trying to get them money. They had found a nice abandoned room in a building where only wild animals lived. It was near the docks, every morning Quinn woke up at the sound of the ships leaving for somewhere. And every single morning she wanted to leave this place and take a boat to nowhere and forget that she had lived here. One morning Noah came back with a bruised lip and some blood on her shirt. She knew that he went to that fight club again. It was becoming a recurent thing since Beth. Noah always denied the fact that he only went to get ride of his anger toward him and somehow toward Quinn too. He always told her that it was an easy way to get money, that way he didn't have to beg people in the streets to some money or something to eat. Noah didn't liked to show that he needed other things from people, he always wanted to show him and her that he could manage himself to get a certain amount of money for them to live.
Quinn had worked before getting pregnant, she had worked in the docks with other guys lifting packages all day, but when she got pregnant and was like 6 months pregnant she had to stop, because her boss was not going to risk to lose his clients because of a pregnant girl. So she stopped and stayed in bed, or what was supposed to be a bed, with Noah taking care of her. She was glad that Noah was there, because since Beth she didn't wanted to work or to even live. She was laying on the ground all day with a blanket protecting her from the cold nights.
But that morning, when Noah came, things seemed different. Noah was smiling goofily at her and he didn't seemed to mind his bleeding forehead. He rushed to her, took her in his arms and lifted her like she was only made of air.
When he told her the reason of his happiness she nearly cried, well no, she really cried and stayed in his arms while he laughed. With his money he had baught them two tickets for Paris.
Quinn was back to reality when Rachel voice echoed in her ears.
"Well, you have a gift, Quinn. You do. You see people."
"I see you."
"And ?"
"You wouldn't had jumped." And it was an honest answer. Quinn have observed Rachel all day talking about almost everything. Art, music, philosophy, sports, architecture, litterature, Monet... And with that Quinn knew that Rachel wouldn't have jumped, well at least she wanted to believe it. But it seemed to froze Rachel in place.
Later, they strolled aft, walking passed people lounging on deck chairs in the slanting late-afternoon light. Stewards scurried to serve tea or hot cocoa.
"So, if you didn't have to marry this guy, if you could do anything, what would you be?" asked Quinn.
Rachel stared at her in surprise. Quinn Fabray was the first human being who had shown any interest in her dreams, her desires. "Well, my dream has always been to just chuck it all and become an artist like you...living in a garret, poor but free!"
Quinn laughed. "You wouldn't last ten days. There's no hot water and hardly any caviar."
"Listen, I hate caviar! And I am tired of people dismissing my dreams with a chuckle and a pat on the head!"
"Hey, I'm sorry. Really. I am." Quinn wanted to slap her self for making such a stupid move. It was not she wanted to say but the words had left her mouth before she could have though better. She tried to sound apologetic as she could, it seemed to make Rachel smile a little. Because for the first time too, Quinn was the the first person to apologie sincerly and meant it.
"Well, all right." Quinn felt instanly relieved. Then Rachel turned serious. "There is something in me, Quinn. I feel it. I do not know what it is, whether I should be an artist, or, I do not know...a dancer. Not a ballerina-I have had ballet lessons for years and I do not like doing the steps I am supposed to be doing. No more like Isadora Duncan, a wild spirit..." And laughing, Rachel leaped forward, landed deftly and whirled like a dervish. Thens he saw something ahead of them, and her face lit up. "...or a moving-picture actress !"
She grabbed Quinn's hand and ran, pulling her along the deck toward Mike and Tina Chang. Mr. Chang was cranking the big wooden movie camera as Mrs. Chang posed stiffly at the rail.
"You're sad," Mr. Chang told her. "Sad, sad, sad. You've left your lover on the shore. You may never see him again. Try to be sadder, darling."
Suddenly Rachel leaped next to Mrs. Chang and struck a theatrical pose. Mrs. Chang burst out laughing, clapping her hands. Rachel pulled Quinn into the shot and made her pose, too.
Mr. Chang grinned and started gesturing wildly while yelling directions. Rachel laughed then moved aside from the other two then posed tragically, the back of her hand to her forehead.
"Yes! YES!" exclaimed Mr. Chang. "See, my darling? Like that! Just like that!"
Mrs. Chang did her best, and it was somewhat better.
Mr. Chang did not care; he had thought of some other scenes. After asking for Quinn's and Rachel permission, he corralled them over to the deck chairs. There he had Quinn sit on one of the chairs, pretending to be a Pasha, while Mrs. Chang and Rachel pantomimed fanning her like slave girls.
"Yes! YES! Perfect! Now over here!"
In their next scene, Mr. Chang put Quinn on her knees, pleading with her hands clasped, while she had Rachel standing, turning her head in bored disdain. Mrs. Chang laughed and clapped then tried to do the same.
Finally, at Quinn's suggestion, Mr. Chang showed Rachel how to crank the camera, so she and Quinn could have a western-type shoot-out. Quinn won, and then she leered into the lens, twirling an air mustache, just like a melodrama villain.
Afterwards, the Changs had an appointment elsewhere on the ship, and Rachel hated watching her dream leave with them. She was very grateful to the Changs and Quinn Fabray for allowing me to live it for those few short glorious moments.
Later, Quinn and Rachel stood by the railing, watching the sunset reflected on the water, as the sun slowly disappeared beneath the distant horizon. It was a perfect moment, and Rachel found herself wishing that she painted in colors, so she could draw it for her, so she could hold its memory in her hands always. Even as theywatched, Quinn continued to regale Rachelwith some of her adventures, concluding with, "I went down to Los Angeles once with Noah, we walked for days. That's where I started doing portraits for ten cents a piece."
"A whole ten cents?" Asked Rachel in pretended awe.
"Yeah," she agreed, accepting her awe as real. "I could make a dollar a day sometimes. Noah and I could eat like royalty. "
Quinn made Rachel see things she always wanted to see, but that she knew that she never would. With deep longing in her heart, Rachel asked, "Why can I not be like you, Quinn ? Just head out for the horizon whenever I felt like it? Say we will go there someday, even if we just talk about it."
"No, we'll do it! We'll drink cheap beer. We'll ride the roller coaster until we puke," and Rache laughed at doing something so gauche that sounded like such fun. "Then we'll ride horses, right in the surf. But you'll have to do it like a real cowboy-none of that side-saddle stuff."
Quinn just kept shocking Rachel. "You mean, one leg on each side?" She nodded, so Rachel asked, "Can you show me how to ride like a man?" now affecting a Western accent.
"And Noah will teach you how to chew tobacco like a man," Her smile never leaving her face.
"And, and, and SPIT like a man!" cried Rachel.
"You mean they didn't teach you that in finishing school ?"
Rache laughed at the thought of any of her teachers actually spitting out a stream of tobacco. "No."
"Well, c'mon, I'll show you! Let's do it!" and she began leading her back towards the Promenade.
Suddenly the fantasy had become reality! Her, Rachel Corcoran Berry a high-society girl from Philadelphia, the fiancée of Finn Hudson, learning how to spit like a lower-class man? " QUINN !" Rachel protested, terrified. "NO!"
Quinn kept pulling her, telling her "C'mon!" while Rachel kept pulling back, protesting, "No, Quinn, no! I could not possibly do that!"
But she led her back to the Promenade, where she could lean over the railing with not fear of falling over the edge into the ocean. Leaning way back, she shot out a huge gob of spit.
No way ! That was totally disgusting ! Rachel couldn't think of doing that. So when Quinn said, "All right, your turn," Rache very daintily, very embarrassedly, turned her head and spat a very tiny amount of saliva onto the deck.
"Pitiful!" she mocked. "C'mon, you really got to hock it back, get some leverage, use your arms," and she let out a monstrous spit that actually went over the Promenade and out into the ocean. "See the distance?"
Yes, she did. Not only did she see it but she suddenly very much wanted to do it. So she hocked it back until she had a full mouth of saliva, used her arms to find some leverage, leaned way back and let loose the full mouthful.
"Better." she encouraged as she started to show her again, this time really hocking hard, making unbelievably gross sounds as she filled her mouth. Rache began to follow her example when she saw something that absolutely horrified her. Walking towards us were Mother, Santana Lopez and Sue Sylvester!
Jabbing Quinn with her elbow, she turned her towards the trio. Rachel knew she would have to tough it out. Enunciating carefully, pretending that she was actually introducing the Crown Prince of England, Rache presented her to her mother. "Mother, may I introduce Ms. Quinn Fabray?"
Breeding forced her to say, "Charmed, I'm sure,' but her tone made it very clear that she was anything but charmed.
The others were gracious and curious about the girl who had saved her life. But Carole looked at Quinn like an insect, a dangerous insect that must be squashed quickly.
"Well, Quinn," smiled Santana, "it sounds like you're a young lady to have in a sticky situation," and she indicated that she should wipe her chin. She did, smiling at her appreciatively, when the bugle sounded for dinner. "Why do they always insist on announcing dinner like a damn cavalry charge?"
Rachel laughed and Mother glared at her, so Rache quickly said, "Shall we go dress, Mother?" As the began walking away, she looked back at Quinn. "I will see you at dinner, Ms. Fabray," and she gave her a little wave, while Mother marched her away as quickly as she could.
As Rachel walked away Quinn stared openly at her, a goofy smile playing on her features.
"Do you even know what are you getting herself into ?" asked Santana Lopez, looking at her with a sad smile.
Quinn looked at her with an air of confusion, she was about to ask what she was talking about, when Santana continued.
"You are playing in a playground where you don't belong girl, do you know it ?"
Quinn shrugged and said, "Yes, I know. Don't worry about it. But why are you saying that to me ?"
"I'm just warning you. Uh, so what are you planning on wearing for the dinner tonight ?"
Quinn shrugged again and pointed to the clothes she was wearing. Santana rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah I was expecting that kind of answer. Come with me, I'm sure we'll find something for you to wear and not look like you've been fishing your whole life." And with that, Santana took her by the arm and walked them to her cabin.
Quinn was amused by this young lady, she was really not like all those penguins. But that was it a good or a bad thing ? That Quinn didn't knew the answer, but she was up to a hell of a ride.
3 am : April 15, 1912 – Somewhere in the Atlantic.
"Quinn, please don't fall asleep" That was what heard in my semi coma, but I didn't moved an inch. I was not even cold anymore, I didn't feel anything at all. All that I felt is numb, the pain was gone, I just felt tired. Very tired. A hand shooked me, but my eyes remained close.
"Quinn...please..." It was a voice that I knew oh so well, but it seemed so far away, like someone speaking at the other end of a tunnel. Everything looked dark in my head, there was nothing but peace. I was still thinking so I knew I wasn't dead. But I was not figthing anymore.
People say that death is easy, peaceful and that everything that hurted you in the past or that still hurt you comes to an end. And I wondered it it was what I was feeling in that moment. It was like being in a dream, a dream of unknow where the only thing you know is that you want to embrace it and never look back. I was starting to think to just...let go, when a tiny singing voice echoed in my head.
The voice was so beautiful, no, more than that. It seemed that no words could ever describe what I was hearing. It was like someone was singing a lullaby for me, it reminded me when my mom used to sing me to sleep. She was not the best singer in the world, but when you're 5 years old and your mom is singing something to you, you feel the happiest person in the world.
But that voice was not my mother's voice. It was a voice that I never heard before, but at the same time it felt familiar. I wanted to open my eyes and see who it was, or if I was already dead and an angel was singing me a 'wlecome to where you feel a piece kind of song'. The voice got closer to me, it was like someone was singing just in front of me. I frowned, the voice stopped so I stopped trying to open my eyes. Then the voice sang again, more powerful filled with hope and love. It was really beautiful. A hand reached to my cheak again, and I felt a warm breath caressing my forhead.
I slowly opened my eyes and I saw the most beautiful angel I ever seen. She had eyes where you could just lost yourself in it, they were brown with hint of dark but it had a fire that seemed vaguely familiar to me. I blinked slowly and saw that the person was crying and smiling a the same time. 'What the...' I thought to myself. Then everything clicked in my head, and I saw that it was Rachel. The events of the night crashed on me, everything was making sense again. I wasn't in heaven or even dead at all.
I tried to speak but my lips seemed to be freezed. Seeing that I was not still speaking, Rachel cupped my face with her right hand I kissed me gently. She was trying to warm my lips, to communicate with me. Her mouth was so sweet, it tasted like salt and haven. It was different from all the few times we kissed since we met, she was not trying to take control of aynthing, neither I was. Her lips felt good on mine, I wanted her to kiss me like that forever. Then her lips moved from mines and she looked at me, her eyes trying to catch a glimpse of something.
"Hi.." that was what I could say. I was still tired and it felt hard to talk. My troath was hurting like hell. She smiled and breath a sigh of relief.
"Quinn, I was scared that you..that you.." she started to cry again, sobbing like a little girl, "Oh God, Quinn I was so scared that you had left me. You can't leave me okay ? You...you just can't."
I looked at her and tried to lift my upper body to get closer to her. I flinched and started to caught.
"Quinn please..switch places with me. You need to get out of that water, you are going to be sick. Please take my place" she begged me, still sobbing.
"No..Rach..it's okay..the boats are going to come back..it's okay."
"Quinn it been hours ! They are not coming back !"
"Rach ! Just...sing to me ? I heard you...I was letting go...and I heard you sing...please sing to me again"
Rachel only looked at me and nodded gently. She got closer to my face and squeezed my hands. I smiled. I smiled because even if death seemed to be the easy choice to take, to find peace and stop the pain. Rachel was better than that. I didn't mind feeling pain again if she was there with me. She was my own bubble of peace on Earth.
She started to sing again. It was the same song and I finally recognized what it was. "Come, Josephine... in my flying machine... going up...she goes...up... she goes." I smiled even more, it was the song we sung after the party in the third class after that dinner with Finn and the rest of the penguins.
"You are going to be a star Ms. Berry. Trust me." I said blowing some warm breath on our hands. I didn't felt a thing, but I hopped that she felt it.
"You are always saving me Quinn..." Her words caressed my soul, giving me some kind of pride. I was proud to be the one saving her, because Rachel was the kind of person you only met once in your life. She was not only a rich girl – that part didn't matter to me – she had the most beautiful soul I ever seen. She was a spectacular girl who was meaning to a better life. She deserved to be free and live the life she wanted the most. Her dreams were my priority to her, I wanted her to have that.
"Daddy would have loved you..." That's what she said, looking at me with open eyes, her soul reflecting in her eyes.
"Thank you, Rach." I said kissing her hands.
A shooting star flared across the sky. She looked at the sky and closed her eyes, resting her head on her forearm. She started humming the song again, to keep us awake.
I didn't fell asleep, I stayed awake my body past agony, wandering if we were condamned to die here. Winning that ticket to the Titanic have been the most perfect thing in my life, I met Rachel and I fell in love with her. Yes, I had lost Noah and I was half certain that I was going to die tonight. I didn't really minded, because in the end I met Rachel. Rachel was the only answer I knew. She was my everything. It sounded cheesy, but love is cheesy and painful. But it in the end is worth the fight, is worth all the heartaches and the loss. Anyone would have killed and crawled on their knees for love.
And if I get past this night and live, I will make sure to always keep that love.