I fully intended this to be a so much shorter than it is. Anyways, getting closer to the end. What a relief right?

Upon rereading the last couple of chapters, I saw how jumpy it was. How irritating, I might have to go back and fix it (haha, riiiight). I forever vow not to have the television on when I'm typing... okay, anything good on, anyways. How's that?

I don't normally approve of the excessive use of italics, but well, you'll see.

Let me know what you think

Chuckie had just fallen asleep, exhausted from work and smelling from head to toe of fruit smoothies and coffee, having been too tired even to shower. His dad shook his shoulder gently, whispering his name. He slowly, begrudgingly came back to consciousness. His dad was sitting on the bed, causing it to dip a little under his weight. He groaned, annoyed, sure his dad was going to ask if knew where the remote control was or something equally stupid. He turned over to glare at his dad from sleepy eyes.

"What do-" the question died in his throat when he saw his father's red-rimmed eyes, saw his mom in the door, holding Kimi as she cried into her mother's shirt, He bolted upright, wide awake, his panicked mind casting through a million possibilities. "What? What's happened? Is grandma okay?" She'd battled pneumonia last winter but she'd gotten better, hadn't she?

"Grandma's fine, Chuckie." His dad said and rested his hands on his shoulders.

"Then what?! What's wrong!?" His eyes darted from his dad to his mom. He could feel the onset of a panic attack and made an effort to take several deep breaths.

"It's the Pickles…" his father's voice trailed off as though afraid to speak it and Chuckie fought against the fear that shook him.

"Tommy? Is it Tommy???" He asked. He hadn't talked to his best friend since yesterday, maybe something had happened to him.

"No. Tommy's absolutely fine." Chaz said, and his voice broke as though he didn't even truly believe what he was saying, "There was a car accident… a bus hit their car…"

"Who? Who was in the car?" Chuckie asked, suddenly furious that his dad wouldn't just spit it out, would make it so drawn out, would make him imagine a million scenarios. Kira came to the rescue and swept in, guiding Kimi gently to her father and sitting close to him.

"It was Didi, Stu and Dil." She answered and Chuckie hated himself for feeling even the teensiest bit relief that it wasn't Tommy.

"How are they?" he asked, but looking at his teary-eyed family, he knew it wasn't good.

"Dil's in surgery right now." His mom said and grabbed his hands with hers, "They said he'll survive."

"But… Didi and Stu?" Kira ducked her head and brought his shaking body to hers in a warm hug.

"They didn't make it, sweetheart." She said finally. He felt the tears he'd been fighting off. He stayed like that for a moment before prying himself away from his mother and wiping his eyes.

"Does Tommy know?" He asked and his mother nodded, her jaw quivering.

"He's at the hospital with Drew and Charlotte right now."

"We gotta go. We have to be with him." He said and crawled out of the bed with some difficulty, considering his entire family was sitting on it. His mother and father looked at each other for a second before turning back to him and nodding.

"Kimi, honey? Did you want to go too?" Chaz asked, turning to his daughter who had been crying silently the entire time. She nodded immediately.

"He needs us there." She said in a shaking voice. Chuckie slid a jacket over his t-shirt, bothering only to slide a pair of slippers on his feet, thankful he'd had the energy to change into a pair of pajama pants before he'd collapsed onto his bed. The rest of his family didn't move fast enough, although he knew they were rushing as well. Chaz drove and Kira sat in the back in between the two kids, holding Kimi against her and gripping Chuckie's hand so hard it was almost painful.

The drive was excruciatingly slow and he tried to think about anything except for what was happening. Anything except for what this meant for his two friends. Anything except for what Tommy was feeling. He concentrated solely on the feel of his mother's hand in his own, on the sound of Kimi's sniffles, the smell of the banana-strawberry smoothie that permeated from his own skin, the sight of the trees and lights flashing by.

His legs were shaking when they got there and he did his best to stay with his family and not run ahead, eager and terrified to see his best friend, wanting badly to support him and afraid that it wouldn't be enough. When they got to the emergency room, none of the Pickle's was there and they were told that Dil had been sent to the O.R. on the second floor and they waited impatiently in the elevator with an old woman.

Tommy was sitting with his back to them, completely rigid and unmoving. Drew sat on one side, gripping the back of Tommy's chair with white knuckles. Charlotte sat on the other, practically cradling Angelica on her lap, despite the fact that she was almost twenty and a good inch taller than her mother. The Finster family came around the line of chairs to face them. Chuckie sought out Tommy's eyes as Drew stood abruptly.

"Glad you guys could come, it means a lot." He said in a low grumble as he shook Chaz's hand.

"Of course." He said. Charlotte stood as well, keeping Angelica close to her side and the two families came together, speaking quietly. Tommy had not moved at all, he didn't seem to register anything and his eyes were glued to the floor. His hands were curled into his fists on his thighs. Chuckie knelt down in front of his friend and grabbed the younger teens knees. Vaguely he heard Drew talking in a low voice to somebody, one of his parents he was sure.

"He hasn't moved or talked since we got here. I don't think he's even cried. I really think he's in shock."

Chuckie saw Tommy's eyes focusing in on him, slowly. Finally, there was a small bit of recognition in them. His friend fell off the chair into his arms and they held each other tightly, both on their knees of the hospital floor. He wasn't sure how long they sat there, just holding each other, but a doctor wearing scrubs came into the waiting room and Chaz knelt beside the two of them and put a hand on their shoulders. They pulled apart, gripping each other's hand. The doctor had a small smile on his face at he looked at the group.

"Well, there's a lot of good news. We successfully stopped the internal bleeding. There was puncture wound from a bit of metal shrapnel that caused his lung to collapse and sent him into a brief coma. The shrapnel's been removed and his lung is in the process of healing. We'll be taking some x-rays to monitor its progress. One of his legs was broken, it was a complete, lateral fracture, clean break, which is good since he's still growing. We'll be monitoring that as well. The bone broke the skin though, so they're in the process of debridement as we speak and he's been given a round of antibiotics to stave off infections. We've also given him a tetanus shot, just in case.

"There were a few, fairly severe lacerations and the worst have been stitched up and bandaged. Overall, he'll have some gnarly scars but he should heal just fine. He should be out of the surgery in about an hour and they'll move him to a room in Intensive Care. After that, if he remains stable they'll probably send him to pediatrics on the fourth floor. If everything goes well, he'll be able to leave in a week or two, with restrictions of course."

Throughout the doctor's speech, Tommy kept his eyes closed and once the doctor finished, a single tear slipped down his cheek. Charlotte thanked the doctor and the families settled back into their chairs. Chuckie helped Tommy into a chair and sat next to him, Tommy's hand still tight on his own. He was only half aware that the adults were talking, his eyes glued to Tommy's face. Only the lone tear had escaped his eyes.

They sat like that in silence for a long while, Chuckie constantly fighting the urge to break down and sob. He needed to be strong for Tommy. There was time to cry later. There was a brief moment when he wasn't sure if he should try to say something, until he remembered who he was, who Tommy was and the nature of their friendship. There was no need for words. Tommy knew everything that was worth saying. And so they just held each other's hand.

Eventually, Chaz approached and knelt next to the two teens, putting a hand on Tommy's arm and meeting Chuckie's gaze, "We're gonna head home-" Tommy's hand tightened reflexively, painfully, on his own. Chaz caught the reaction and gave the barest ghost of a smile, "We've talked to Drew and he's going to stay here with you two. Tommy, tomorrow, Kira's going down to the school to see about getting you and Dil's work for the next couple of weeks so you don't get too far behind. Yours too, Chuckie. We'll be back tomorrow. Give me a call if you need anything at all, okay?" Chuckie nodded and after a moment, so did Tommy.

An hour later they were in the ICU. The waiting room was empty of all but Tommy, Chuckie and Drew. The doctor informed them that Dil was in a drug-induced coma for the pain and wouldn't be conscious for another day or so. The three of them sat there in silence for a long while, until Drew stood abruptly. Chuckie glanced over, surprised and Drew met his gaze for a second before giving a slight nod and leaving the waiting room at a quick pace.

Chuckie's heart went out to him. He had lost his younger brother. His anguish probably rivaled Tommy's. Chuckie couldn't even begin to imagine how he would feel if he ever lost Kimi. For all he'd seen, Drew had kept himself together extremely well, but he was sure it was all for Tommy's sake. He gave Tommy's hand a slight squeeze and ran his thumb over the back of his hand in an absentminded fashion. Their silent vigil continued.

A few minutes later, Tommy's grip loosened from his own. Chuckie turned, startled. His friend had shifted, ever so slightly, so his back was angled toward him. He straightened a bit, concerned.

"I have to tell you something." His friend said, his voice tremulous and hoarse.

"Yeah, sure."

"It's about the accident."

"What about it?" He asked, worried. Tommy was silent and Chuckie waited patiently.

"You, you have to promise me. Promise you wont say anything. To anybody."

"Of course. I do, I promise." Worry gripping him even tighter.

"The accident… it, it was all my fault." Tommy's voice cracked.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I… I was supposed to take Dil tonight. I promised I'd take him and his friend to the movies. But, Sean's party was tonight. I asked him to have Mom and Dad take him. He was upset, I'd lied to him. I broke my promise. But he said okay, anyways. Mom and Dad, they were going to see a play. It wasn't too far out of their way. They would all be on time. I promised him, Chuckie. And I didn't do it. It's all my fault. They're gone because of me! And Dil, oh god. Dil's going to hate me." As Tommy threatened to break down, Chuckie leaned across the arm of the chair and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Shhh… no, he wont. He wont hate you. It's not your fault." He said, and Tommy let out a low keening wail into his shoulder, hands clutching his shirt in desperation.

"Oh, Tommy." Chuckie felt his heart break all over and he had to fight off the tears once more, "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is! Don't you get it? If I'd kept my promise, if I'd taken him to the movies. They wouldn't have been there. It wouldn't have been them! If I'd kept my promise…" and the sobs wracked his body all over again, making the both of them shake with the force of it.

"It's not your fault." He whispered firmly, gripping the back of Tommy's head, "It's not your fault." Tommy cried harder.

"How could he ever forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive Tommy, he'll know that." Tommy only pressed his forehead against Chuckie's shoulder and shook his head slowly. Eventually the younger teen brought a hand to his face to wipe away the tears. He sat back, looking almost embarrassed at his outburst.

"Do something for me, Tommy?" Chuckie asked, his friend met his gaze, eyes puffy, lined with red. "Say it's not your fault. Let me know that you know it's not your fault." Tommy's chin quivered and fresh tears welled up in his eyes and he looked upward, blinking rapidly.

"I can't, not right now. Maybe, eventually. " He finally said and Chuckie nodded, hugging him once more. They settled back into their chairs, hands linking without much thought.

Dil stayed at the hospital for a week and a half, loaded up on painkillers and tranquilizers. It wasn't until three days after the accident that Dil was lucid enough to understand what had happened. Tommy asked Chuckie to be with him when he told his brother that their parents were dead. So he sat there, watching the two teens cry. He stood at the end of the hospital bed, gripping Dil's uninjured foot through the white sheets, in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. He felt awkward and unhelpful, wishing that he could just erase their pain, knowing full well that he couldn't.

Tommy and Chuckie stayed at the hospital for the length of Dil's stay; Tommy not wanting to leave Dil's side and Chuckie not wanting to leave Tommy's. They left only once to go to Chuckie's house where they showered and slept. The adults were in and out, bringing them books, cards, food and coffee. The nurses gave them blankets and pillows. Kira dropped off their class work. The teachers had written them notes with their condolences and Chuckie was sure the work they were given was really a lightened version. A group of classmates came and visited, bringing with them a giant card signed by what most have been half the school, balloons, flowers and teddy bears. Chuckie and Tommy spent their time doing the work assigned to them. Both of them starting on Dil's work first, ignoring the younger teens protests. He would have a couple of months before he'd be ready to go back to school and neither of the older boys wanted him to get behind.

Tommy made most of the arrangements concerning the funeral, although Drew often provided his opinion and helped with things Tommy wasn't sure about. A lawsuit was filed on the teens' behalf. The police had done an investigation. The bus driver had been on medication that made him drowsy. He had been declared at fault for running the red light and was sentenced for involuntary manslaughter. Tommy and Dil were awarded money from the bus company. They found out that if Dil had been on the other side of the car, Tommy would be both an orphan and an only child.

The Pickle's stayed at Chuckie's house after Dil was released from the hospital. Tommy sold their old house, not wanting Dil to ever have to set foot back inside it. He bought a smaller one, closer to their high school. The teens, all but Dil, and the parents did the moving. Chuckie spent the first night with the two teens at the house, and the night after that, and the week after that. Chaz and Kira endured their son's absence with brave hearts and made little protest. He spent so many nights there that Tommy ended up just lending Chuckie half of his dresser.

Dil healed quickly and well. The stitches were gone before he left the hospital. His leg was set in a hard cast for four weeks, before being switched to a walking cast. The worse lacerations had been on his face, but the surgeon had done well with the stitches and there were just three long, thin scars on his face; one across the bridge of his nose, and then two on his cheek that overlapped and looked almost like a cross or an X. Dil adopted a habit of running his finger over the longest scar on his cheek when he was deep in thought. Chuckie caught Tommy's cringe every time he saw the absent minded action.

Eventually, things started to return to normal, or as normal as they could ever be. Dil returned to school with better grades than he'd had when he'd left. Tommy and Chuckie returned also. The other parents turned their attentions back to their own children. The group remained as close as they had ever been. Angelica and Susie went off to college together. Chuckie, Tommy, Kimi, Phil, and Lil graduated the year after that, and soon went in their separate directions as friends often do when they're sent out into the world.

When Chuckie told Tommy he was going to go to D.C for the apprenticeship, his friend smiled and congratulated him. By then, Dil was already in California, had been for almost a year. Chuckie had wrestled with himself. He needed to go, but he hated to leave Tommy. When Tommy gave him his best wishes, he left for D.C, sure that his friend would be fine.

Chuckie just had no idea, did he?