AN: This had to be my favorite chapter to write so far, being a Slytherin myself!

To Team Turnip: I actually do have a spreadsheet. I find it to be extremely helpful!

To General Public and Nine Others on the Alerts List: This is just a little side story to entertain you while I suffer through writers block. Pity me. I think many of you have been looking forward to a chapter like this dedicated to (drum roll please!) THE FANTASTIC ANDVENTURES OF CRABBE AND GOYLE!

Yeah, that's right; I know you're so excited you're almost peeing yourself.

Feel free to review. :)

-Katie4dragons

The House Unity Development Project

Chapter 11 - THE FANTASTIC ANDVENTURES OF CRABBE AND GOYLE!

It was a lovely and damp evening in the Slytherin dungeons. The green light reflecting into the room cast a sickly glow on every Slytherin's face. Any second you expected one to kneel over and barf. 7th years loitered around in dark corners, putting off doing their Potions homework. Short 1st years huddled in circles around and on couches, plotting against their Gryffindor classmates. All in all it was a scene of sickening evilness that would make any respectable Slytherin's heart swell with extreme pride. The students were all aware of the fact that the 5th years were participating in some freakish game Professor Dumbledore had invented, and this did cause a few of them to vaguely wonder why Crabbe and Goyle were still living here in the dungeons.

Crabbe and Goyle were sitting in the center of the room, still commanding respect despite the clear lack of Draco. They were sitting on a green couch, staring straight ahead, and looking bored.

"Crabbe?"

"Yes, Goyle?"

"I'm hungry."

The boys decided that they must do something soon about the roaring coming from Goyle's stomach. Standing up, they forced their way through younger students to the exit. 1st year after 1st year fell over and landed face-first on the floor in their haste to get out of the way. When Crabbe and Goyle finally made it out of the dungeons, the 1st years picked them selves up off the floor and dusted off their robes. They then went back to their evil plotting.

Footsteps echoed off the stone walls as Crabbe and Goyle made their way up the stairs. Finally they made it to the first floor. They stood around stupidly, blinking in the bright candlelight. Slowly they edged towards the kitchens, keeping to the shadows like vampires. They came upon the corridor with the fruit bowl painting. Crabbe walked up to it and glanced around.

"Is it safe Goyle?"

"Yes, I don't see anyone."

Crabbe gleefully turned back to the fruit bowl and tickled the pear with much childish joy. This is something no normal Slytherin would ever do, so it was of upmost importance that no one saw them. The pear squealed in pure joy and morphed into a doorknob.

Crabbe yanked the door open and he and Goyle slipped inside. Suddenly house elves swarm at them, offering cakes and drinks. Crabbe and Goyle grabbed as much as their pudgy hands could hold. They shoveled food in their mouth on a never ending cycle, barley taking the time to inhale the necessary amount of oxygen. It was a sight that could make any one never want to touch food again.

Finally, fit to burst, the two kicked house elves out of their way and headed back to the corridor. They slinked out the door, as stealthy as murderous elephants.

Footsteps echoed down they corridor behind them. Terrified, Crabbe pulled Goyle into a broom cupboard that was conveniently located right next to them. In the cramped space Goyle was practically on top of Crabbe.

Through a crack in the door they watched as Ginny Weasley and Luna Lovegood passed by. Suddenly Crabbed let out a rather loud burp. Ginny and Luna stopped. They both turned to look at the cupboard apprehensively. Ginny Weasley reached out and pulled open the door.

With loud grunts Crabbe and Goyle tumbled out in a jumble of limbs. There was a scream of shock and terror, then, silence. Crabbe grunted and looked up. The Luna girl was looking down at him with her enormous eyes. After a few seconds, she spoke.

"Could you please get off my friend?"

Goyle sat up and looked at the thing he was sitting on. It gave a muffled grunt and started hitting him. Crabbe and Goyle stood up and brushed off their robes. As they left they heard Ginny screaming something about how she was now too terrified to ever open another broom cupboard.

After returning to their common room, Crabbe and Goyle returned to their favorite couch. They settled into their spots, which they sat at so often the couch now had a permanent imprint of both of their (quite large) rear ends. Burping and sighing in content, they decided to take a nap. All that exciting activity had really worn them out.