Chapter 11

The next day, Michaela and Sully spent the morning with William who was in a hurry now to get back to Boston. Thanks to the conversation with Sam Lindsay and a long talk with Michaela on a walk with Wolf after breakfast, he had accepted the fact that he was neither a bad doctor nor a bad person when he couldn't bring himself to return to Africa. There simply were too many things he couldn't take any longer like when his desperately needed help was refused because the elders of different tribes were fighting with each other. And too often he had seen that children he'd just saved from starving were torn apart by landmines afterwards. He was, however, able to see now that there was no shame in helping the sick in his own country and support those who took the political way of fighting poverty and war. Now that he knew his path he was eager to start working. Michaela was more than happy to see her friend being his old self again, and after assuring him that he was always welcome in Colorado Springs they said their goodbye after lunch at Grace's.

On their way home, for the first time in more than a fortnight alone without any distractions, Michaela and Sully drove in silence. The quiet wasn't awkward though because both were consumed by thoughts about the events of the last days.

Now that he'd had enough time to mull it over, Sully was disturbed by the realization that deep down, Michaela was ashamed of being pregnant without being married. It had been that tiny unguarded moment when William asked her whether she was expecting and she hid her hands from his look. Although she instantly denied any regrets, this gesture had given her away. Sully had no idea what to do about it though. He'd proposed already twice only to be rejected equally often. With good reasons, he was aware of that, and he wouldn't ask her again without being positive he'd get a yes in response. But for that, it wasn't time yet. First he had to make her see that she could rely on him, and once again he promised himself that he would go to any length in order to accomplish that.

Glancing at Michaela when he had to stop at a red traffic light, he wondered what she was thinking. Yet she looked out of the passenger window, so he wasn't able to read her expression. This meant, however, that she couldn't see his either and thus he allowed his gaze to travel down to her lap. Since she held her hands clasped there, it looked as if she supported her slightly protruding belly. He couldn't help it, but the imagination of two babies growing inside of her made him smile broadly. When the light turned green, he was already making plans for redesigning the nursery.

Whilst Sully was inwardly bubbling with excitement, Michaela's thoughts were rather troubled. Seeing William again had reminded her of her life in Boston, of all the hopes she had and plans she'd made. They all were shattered now; nothing had turned out the way she imagined. She was neither working with her father nor with David and William. Her engagement had revealed itself as a castle in the air, and once again she was wondering how it was possible that she hadn't seen it sooner. She should have learned from this experience, but obviously she couldn't help it but make the same mistakes again and again. She had allowed herself to fall in love again, yet what had it brought her? In a time when Sully should have reached out for her he pushed her away. Although she could see that he regretted his actions he still didn't trust their relationship; otherwise he wouldn't have kept the teacher's presence at the camp a secret. Of much more significance was, however, that he couldn't accept her money, and she had no idea what to do about that. Yet as to top it all, she was pregnant with twins. Her life was a mess, and it was high time that she did something about that. The moment she came to this resolve, Sully turned the van into the yard.

"Ya wanna take a nap upstairs?" he asked after he pulled to halt next to the garage.

Feeling energized by the thought of sorting her life, Michaela shook her head, "Actually, I would like to sit on the porch for a bit." She didn't need sleep, she needed new plans.

"Alright," Sully replied, pleased that she didn't want to bury herself in her room but rather get some more fresh air. "I'll put up your lounge chair."

Not much later, Michaela lay outstretched in a shadowy spot on the porch, eyes closed, one hand under her head and the other one resting on Wolf's back. The dog, however, was torn; on the one hand, he was happy to be reunited with his favorite woman; on the other hand did the joy he felt make him want to run around. For the latter the conditions were good for it seemed that his master was looking for some fun as well. He casually strolled along the edges of the yard, now and then lifting a pebble from the ground, only to playfully throw it away again, giving it a nice little spin on its way. Wolf could easily see the pebbles turn into a stick, and in the end his nature won out. Ever so slowly and carefully, he ducked away from Michaela's hand, sensing that his absence wouldn't disturb her.

Michaela felt the movement under her fingers and placed her palm on her lower belly. The bright sunlight behind her closed lids had lightened her thoughts as well, and continuing taking stock of her life, she acknowledged that not all was bad. She loved her job at the Memorial Hospital Central, and she got along just fine with her colleagues. Well, apart from Dr. Stone, but this man wasn't liked by anyone. She had made new friends in Colorado Springs and was happy that she'd found even close ones with Snow Bird and Charlotte.

Not to forget this place at the end of Sout Drive; it gave her a sense of being home, which she hadn't had for a very long time, actually ever since her father died. She wondered how much this feeling had to do with Sully's presence, for truth be told, she was drawn to the house from the very first moment she saw it. All she knew about Sully back then was that he'd taken in a homeless dog without hesitating. Of course this action already told a lot about him, but so did the house. The affectionately and skillfully restored structure radiated solidity and the assurance of safety. She never even once regretted her decision to live here, not even when she and Sully were on their worst terms.

As this thought entered her mind, Michaela grew too restless to lie idly for she realized that her bond to this man was already far too strong for her to break it, and that they would have twins together only added to this fact. Sitting up, she saw that he and Wolf played together with a stick. Sully repeatedly threw the piece of wood onto the grass so it wouldn't clatter on the yard's gravel. She knew he did it so as not to disturb her resting. As he cast her a worried look she called, hoping to reassure him, "I'm fine!"

Yet he didn't believe her. After throwing the stick for Wolf with all his might one last time, he hurried across the yard towards her. At this moment, the babies moved. Covering her belly with both her palms, she gazed down at her stomach in wonder.

Not seeing her face, Sully asked anxiously, "Ya in pain?"

"No." Michaela looked up at him, "Rather in awe. Can you imagine that there are twins inside of me?"

Pulling the second lounge chair closer, Sully sat down on its edge. His heartbeat sped up with excitement; Michaela had never before talked about her feelings towards the babies, at least not in front of him. He wracked his brain, wanting to use this opportunity, and tried to decide which of the many questions he had he could pose without making her shut him out again. Yet in the end he only asked, "Wanna lie down again or rather sit?"

Contemplating this for a moment she at last said, "Having my feet up will do. I don't feel like sleeping."

Sully immediately rose in order to lift the head end of her chair. Michaela gratefully smiled at him as she leaned back. "That's nice," she muttered and closed her eyes, savoring the comfortable position.

Carefully, Sully lowered himself onto his seat again. Running his hand through his hair he still considered what to ask first when Michaela beat him as she wondered, "What would you like more, boys or girls?"

Surprised, Sully halted in his move. Michaela had slightly turned to see him better and looked at him timidly, waiting for his reply.

Returning her gaze, he grew somewhat shy as well. "I think I'd like little girls." As the corners of her mouth turned up, he added tentatively smiling, "But only if they have your eyes."

"They might have." Michaela raised her eyebrows playfully as she pointed out, "But you realize that if they do, they might have my stubbornness, too."

Openly grinning now, Sully retorted, "That's the way I like them."

Chuckling quietly, Michaela reached out her hand for his, and he gave it to her more than willingly. Absent-mindedly she ran her fingertips over his skin when she said, "Two little boys would be nice, too. I've heard that sons are devoted to their mothers."

As she glanced up at him from under her lashes, her smile held a trace of mischief.

"Alright," Sully mirrored her expression, saying after a short contemplation, "then it's a boy for you and a girl for me."

"That would be nice, too," Michaela responded, resting her head against the back of the chair again.

She hadn't pulled her hand away, and so Sully finally told her what had been on his mind for weeks. "I'll love whoever will come along, and I'll do anything for them."

Michaela sighed softly before she looked back at him, reassuring, "I know, Sully."

xxx

The following week was an astonishingly pleasant one. They didn't get angry with each other although they had a little fight on Monday because Michaela complied with Dr. Alvarez' request that she would work, as it had been planned, the long day shift during the upcoming five days. She understood Sully's worry, and he acknowledged that her boss needed a few days to adjust his doctors' schedules.

On Tuesday Michaela received a call from the district attorney's office. She was informed that her testimony wasn't needed anymore because Ethan Cooper's lawyer had reached an agreement with them. His client had agreed to plead guilty if they let him go with bodily injury caused by negligence for which he was given two years' probation. Although this meant that Cooper was free, he wasn't a threat for Michaela anymore. She and Sully celebrated this good news with Snow Bird, who appreciated the distraction from her husband's absence, by having dinner at Grace's.

The next day was joyful as well for Charlotte was discharged from the hospital in the morning. Since Michaela was at work, Sully helped to take their friend home from where he only left after making sure the little family had everything they needed.

During this week, Michaela and Sully found a new rhythm: whilst she was at the hospital he did his job as a guide, but the evenings were theirs. When they didn't meet friends, they went for strolls with Wolf once the heat of the day had eased. Afterwards they had supper on the porch, and they talked. They talked about their day at work, their friends and the weather, and even discussed the new arrangement of the nursery.

But they neither talked about their feelings for each other nor their future. Now that it was possible again that they could have one it seemed they both feared that one wrong word might break the still fragile new skin that was beginning to cover their wounds from the past. However, while Michaela was thankful for Sully's patience he was happy to see the growing trust towards him in her eyes.

However, as much as Michaela enjoyed their quiet togetherness, deep down in her gut she had a sense of foreboding. It materialized on Friday evening.