Well, it's Saturday right now, but God knows when the chapter will actually be posted. Our DSL at my house isn't working (the stupid Bell guy did it….CURSE YOU BELL CANADA!!) and they won't be able to come in and fix it until Monday, so I have to go internetless for that long -sobs- I haven't been on the internet since Thursday. My mom thinks it's funny that I have to wait so long, but I assure you it is not humorous in the slightest.Anyway, I went against my word and wrote chapter 7 of The Wicked Truth before this. I'll probably end up writing chapter 8 too. I'm sorry, I'm just so fond of that story -has vague recollection of what it was like to write first seven chapters- Anywho, I'll write as much as my mind can handle tonight, and try to get more done tomorrow.
Disclaimer - Hmmm….I might own Twilight…..let me check.-calls Alex-
-Alex answers- What do you want? I was sleeping!
Me: Umm…Alex? It's 8:20, and we're both in the same time zone.
Alex: So! Doesn't mean I'm not having a nap!
Me: Whatever. Hey, I was wondering…
Alex: Not this again.
Me: Do I own Twilight?
Alex: No.
Me: You sure about that?
Alex: Absolutely sure. You don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. Or the Pellinor series.
Me: Crap. Hey, do I own Microsoft?
Alex: No, that would be Bill Gates.
Me: Pepsi?
Alex: N- Sure, I guess you could.
Me: YAY FOR PEPSI! -hangs up-
Alex: G'night. -snores-
So apparently, I don't own Twilight. But I do own Pepsi! Free Pepsis for everyone! Cheers!!
Chapter 11: What Happens After Vegas
Jeff: We're finally back!
Mr. Kittywhale: Miss us?
Jeff: So the producers' strike didn't last that long, but then the hair and makeup artists went on strike too, so… we were kinda busy.
Mr. Kittywhale: I was taking therapy six times a week and now I'm a much happier person!
Jeff: And I was increasing my junk collection! You'd never believe how much stuff they have on EBay!
Mr. Kittywhale: Anyway, while we were gone, Aro and the Tastics got all the way to number one on the charts -
Jeff: Only to slide back down after a week.
Mr. Kittywhale: There was fighting (and some other stuff we can't mention on a family channel)
Jeff: And now Aro and the Tastics are no more.
Mr. Kittywhale: Caius got over his Valley girl thing and moved on to British accents - they're all the rage now. Jane and Alec disappeared somewhere, off to do brother and sister things. VampJillybean got so fed up with the band that she, the manager, and VampNinjWa ran off to the Bahamas and haven't been seen since. Victoria turned into a puddle after the eighth day of stardom. And Jasper - well, we're still not sure what exactly happened, but Alice had to bring him home after a water-skiing incident.
Jeff: And what of Aro? He stayed in Vegas for three weeks and locked himself in a casino. We have exclusive footage here of everything that happened when he got back from Vegas.
Mr. Kittywhale: So here's what happens after Vegas.
(Cuts to Big Room, where Caius is seen sitting on a mat with incense burning all around him and making OHMMMM noises. Aro walks in.)
Aro: Hello Caius.
Caius: OHMMMMM
Aro: Give it up, my brother. You will not be able to levitate!
Caius: At least let a man dream!! (runs away)
Aro: And they said I was the sensitive one.
VampNinjWa: (walks in with VampJillybean) Hello, Aro. I thought you were locked in a casino somewhere in Vegas?
Aro: And I thought happiness could be bought with poker chips, but oh, how wrong I was.
VampNinjWa: Yeah…..
VampJillybean: It's side affects of being a sore loser. Does that to everyone.
Aro: I am not a sore loser! I had everything! Everything! But I just had to drop one chip too many and BAM! No summer home in Maine.
(VampNinjWa and VampJillybean exchange glances)
Jane: Hey VampJillybean. Hey VampNinjWa. Hey dolt.
Aro: You know, it's moments like these when I wish I was still Emro. I have the hair for it (does hair flip)
Jane: So….I heard what happened in Vegas.
VampNinjWa: Yeah, I heard about that too.
Aro: It was a simple mistake and we're not talking about it.
Jane: Okay! God, don't be so emo about it.
Alec: Hello everyone.
Aro: Why is everyone here?! You're swarming me! Don't you know I'm claustrophobic?!
Everyone: …
Alexa: I'M BACK!! (A/N: sorry, I had to do it. The chapter was seriously dull and needed saving by an NFL quarterback.)
Aro: OH EMM GEE it's ALEXA! (hugs)
Alexa: Eww, you're getting emo germs on me.
Aro: (cries)
Alexa: Go ahead, cry me a river. I'll use it to recreate the story of Sedna!
Everyone: (blank looks)
Alexa: Or I'll get Patrick to sing to the fish and get them to come to me so I can herd them into a fish army, which I will then put tutus on and force to do the Macarena all night long!
Aro: Ah. Much more sinister.
Alexa: Anyway, I was randomly added to the chapter by the author (stupid author, interrupting my Teletubbies time) to make it not suck, so….let's do something non-suckish!
Aro: What do you suggest?
Alexa: MONOPOLY!!
(They spend the next six hours playing Monopoly)
Alexa: Do I own all the properties yet?
Jane: You own two and a half.
Alec: How do you own half a property?
Jane: Ask her and dolt.
Aro: Stop calling me that!
Alexa: This is boring because I'm not winning.
Jane: Figures…
Alexa: Shush, you!
Jane: Sorry.
Alexa: We're going to a Karaoke bar.
VampJillybean: Ummm…..Alexa? Me and you are too young for bars.
Jane: So am I (well, not technically since I am a vampire).
Alexa: If I say we're going to a Karaoke bar, we're going to a Karaoke bar! Get it? Got it? Good.
(They go to Karaoke bar)
Bar Guy: How old are you?
Aro, Caius, Jane and Alec: Old?
Bar Guy: Okay, you're in.
(They go in)
Bar Guy: And how old are you two? (points to Alexa and VampJillybean)
Alexa: Ask the fruitcake.
Bar Guy: Okay you're in too.
VampNinjWa: (sneaks in)
Aro: You dragged us all here, so you get to choose the songs. I mean -
Alexa: Too late! You already said I could. Aro, you're doing Best Friends by Toybox, and you can't object.
(Aro goes up on stage, takes the microphone and clears his throat. He starts to sing in a high pitched voice (A/N: Play the song for better visual) and they find that he's actually pretty good.)
Aro: There. Done. Jane's turn!
Alexa: Ooh! Well, you were mean to me, so…you get to do My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion! Hey, that rhymes!
(Jane takes the stage and starts singing, but halfway through lets out an angry yelp and pounces on Alexa, who pushes her off with ease.)
Alexa: I may be human, but I'm super, and that makes me SUPERHUMAN! -cackles- Okay, VampJillybean doesn't have to go because she's too lame and doesn't want to (A/N: Jill actually gets really nervous about singing in front of people, and I knew that no power on Earth could make Jill, real or fictional, sing in front of a large group of people. Although, there may be said power on Neptune…) so VampNinjWa will go in her place.
VampNinjWa: Why me?!
Alexa: Because torturing waffles is fun. If only Bella were here….but anyway, you'll be doing Party Up In Here by DMX.
VampJillybean: Why? Not that I object.
Alexa: I've never seen a waffle rap.
(VampNinjWa raps)
Alexa: Wow. Now I can check "make waffle rap" off my Bucket List! Anyway, Caius's turn.
Caius: Oh God.
Alexa: Hmmm……Phantom of the Opera. Both Christine and the Phantom.
Jane: Wow, you really know how to be evil to men.
Alexa: It's a gift. It's also the reason I haven't had a boyfriend in two years, but honestly, I'm not complaining…
(Caius takes stage and sings very loud and ear-splitting opera, and everyone claps politely while making a mental note to see the doctor about their now bleeding ears.)
Caius: Alec's turn!
Alexa: Let's see….Only Hope by Mandy Moore
Alec: Isn't that from A Walk To Remember?
Everyone: (blank stares)
Alec: I-I watched it with Jane.
Jane: No you didn't -
Alec: SHUT UP! (goes to stage and performs…well, in all honesty, hilariously)
(Alec comes back to stand with them and glares daggers at Alexa)
Alec: Your turn, demon.
Alexa: (ponders) THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY BY LEMON DEMON!!
(Alexa goes up to the stage in a very professional manner, as she has done several times now, and begins singing.)
Then Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader, Lopan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, the Rock, Doc Oc and Hulk Hogan
(Continues with the rest of the song, finishes and returns to small circle)
VampJillybean: You have actual singing talent and decide to do Lemon Demon?
Alexa: Would you rather it was that or Bananaphone?
Everyone: That.
Alexa: Good. Now that this is settled, we're going to Marine Land.
Aro: Why?!
Alexa: Because the commercial is back! Le DUH!
(Spend six and a half days in Marine Land)
Jane: Alexa, I have a question for you.
Alexa: Shoot.
Jane: Shouldn't you be tired by now? I mean, you're only human.
Alexa: Now Jane, why ever would you ask such a - (falls asleep)
Alec: (High fives Jane)
Jane: I know. I'm great.
(Cuts to White Room)
Jeff: So now you know what happens after Vegas.
Mr. Kittywhale: Yeah, well, I have a therapy appointment to get to, so…BYE!
Jeff: Hasta la Pasta!
So I know it wasn't the greatest chapter, but I'm running out of ideas. Seriously. Not being at school means less time with friends, and that makes me boring and tired. Boring and tired means not funny, therefore: Chapter 11! Something big and unexpected (at least by the cast of Aro the Arotastic) is happening next chapter, but I'm not yet sure how. Anyway, guess what? It's still Saturday! That means I would be posting today, right now, if my stupid internet was working. Oh well. I'll post this as soon as I can. Off to write more of The Wicked Truth!
Love lots and lots!!
Alexa xxxx
PS - For those of you who also read Letters To Kartik (though I doubt there's very many, that isn't a very popular fanfic), I'm waiting for my bestie Alex to write a letter before I can write the next chapter. Oh, and I'm going to see if Miranda wants to too. But it will get updated….eventually.
PPS - All the songs used in the chapter are from my IPod. I just used the first song I found that was really OOC, then made the character sing it. Except for The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. I actually have memorized that. That, and Bananaphone. I'm good at singing, I just prefer to sing songs that show that I really do belong in a mental asylum.