Mikau: Hello all! Today we have crack-y insanity in which the DCMK gang goes to the beach. Kaito and Heiji engage in antics much to Conan and Hakuba's chagrin and Akako and Sonoko team up to put Sera in a bikini…and then move on to world domination. Characters include: Kaito, Heiji, Conan, Hakuba, Akako, Sonoko, Sera, and Ran, and to a lesser extent: Kazuha, Aoko, and Keiko. Thanks so much to reviewers from last time: The Midnight Dream, Hebiaczek, and Lady Rosencrantz!

Disclaimer: DCMK is the intellectual property of Aoyama Gosho, and the prompt for this chapter was sent in by dragonsandmagic on Poirot Café.

…

dragonsandmagic: Prompt: A beach, a ring, and a surprise revealing.

"This is the worst," Kaito grumbled as he finished sculpting the giant seashells to cover up the enormous, too anatomically correct breasts he had created out of sand for Heiji after burying the Osakan detective in the first place.

"Ya mean my rack or th' beach in general?" Heiji peeked one eye open to look up in suspicion at Kaito.

"Oh. The beach," Kaito was quick to assure. "Your boobs look awesome."

"Good." Heiji seemed satisfied with that and went back to enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face and the feeling of the sand…well…everywhere. He'd be cleaning it out of nooks and crannies for the next month, but…

"You two are so inappropriate," Conan sighed, adjusting his sunglasses.

Heiji grinned. "Heeey, Kudo. Check out my nice body, huh?"

Kaito hissed like a cat. "Back off. I saw him first, Hei-chan."

"Oh did ya now?" Heiji sent his rival a glare of challenge.

"Yeah. I seem to remember meeting a certain Kudo Shinichi at a clock tower heist before he even became Conan," Kaito bragged.

Heiji menaced (as well as he could while buried neck-deep in sand that had been made to look like a well-endowed mermaid) up at Kaito. "Well, I almost ran int' 'im back in middle school on a ski slope. We were workin' on th' same case and just missed each other again and again."

Kaito frowned, eager to one-up his friend. "Well, our parents engaged us to one another before we were even born, so top that!"

"That was before they found out we were both boys," Conan himself broke in, fed up with the pissing contest that was being held in his honor. "Now shut up before the girls come back and you ruin my cover."

Heiji smirked, turning his head back to Kaito. "You know, I bet I found out about Kudo's secret identity before ya."

"Enough!" Conan shouted, throwing an inflatable pool ring at Heiji and hitting Kaito's intricate sand sculpture instead.

"I spent five hours on that," Kaito whimpered.

"You did not, Kuroba," Hakuba sighed, finally growing weary of the stupidity and looking up from his book. "It took you maybe twenty minutes to bury the buffoon with his help, and you just spent another twenty sculpting initially. When I told you that the chest was far too well done to be appropriate at a public beach, you spent an additional five minutes sculpting seashells for covering. Therefore, it has not been five hours."

"Well, it felt like five hours. Now I'm bored. Let's go find the girls." Kaito quickly got over his distress.

Heiji shrugged and wiggled out of the already ruined mermaid sand sculpture in order to fall in step behind Kaito.

Hakuba and Conan shared a look and a tired sigh before jogging a bit to catch up to the other two.

They headed up the beach back to where the little shops and the eateries and the public restrooms had been. They found the girls—Ran, Kazuha, Aoko, Keiko, Sonoko, and Akako—all gathered around one of the changing stalls where Akako and Sonoko seemed to be orchestrating events while the rest of the group watched in a bit of a mix of interest and horror. It was as if they weren't quite sure if they should be helping, and, if so, whom exactly they should be helping.

The person inside of the stall—presumably Sera as she was the only one missing—seemed to be struggling while Sonoko and Akako—both with decidedly evil, mischievous grins—seemed to be taking turns…inflicting some kind of torture? The approaching boys couldn't see very well.

The spectators stepped aside as the boys approached, and Ran was kind enough to fill them in: "Sonoko and Akako-chan are trying to get Sera-san to come out and reveal the new swimming suit that they bought for her, but Sera-san doesn't want to."

"O-Oh?" Hakuba remarked with an interest that he couldn't quite mask.

"Yes!" Sonoko jumped in once she noticed their presence. "Akako-chan and I went shopping and picked out the perfect bikini! Isn't that right, Akako-chan?" Sonoko practically beamed at the witch.

"B-Bikini?" Saguru stuttered.

Akako smiled brightly…and yet somehow sinisterly. "Yes. Bikini. With our forces combined, nothing can stand in our way. We present to you the new and improved Sera Masumi."

And at that moment, Sonoko flung the poor detective out of the changing stall, sending her stumbling right into Saguru's arms.

Bare skin met bare chest, and faces turned ruby red faster than you could blink.

The pair, of course, pulled away, completely flustered as soon as they regained some sense of self, but the telling blushes stuck with them. Sera couldn't meet his eyes, and Saguru could barely glance at her to get a look at her suit.

The others laughed and cooed, mocked and praised as Saguru somehow managed to tell Masumi that the boy shorts and the bandeau style top really worked for her. They were attractive without showing too much skin.

To that, Sera thanked him and replied that she'd be able to rock a real bikini like Akako-chan or Sonoko-chan someday when her breasts finally came in.

The aforementioned schemers both smirked, high fiving in celebration as they considered their plan a great success.

"We do beautiful work together," Akako observed, rather pleased with the results of this collaboration.

"We should team up to take over the world," Sonoko suggested with a snicker, latching on to Akako's arm.

Akako smirked. "Yes. Yes we should."

And Akako began to plot the great things she would do with her new partner in crime. This week there would be shopping and eating cute pastries. Next week they would bring the world to its knees at their whims.

…

Mikau: Yes. That happened. Originally I was going to go with the obvious—a beach proposal scene—and I was thinking maybe I'd go with HakuSeraKai. Then I asked in chat on Poirot what pairing I should do, and I think it was kkrazy256 that said Sonoko x Akako. And that gave me the idea for this nonsense. Next up is Aoko x Akako.