A/N:
Welcome back to Benediction! I know it's been forever since I updated (bet you thought I fell off a cliff, huh?). I am so sorry you had to wait so long. I have a project in the works that makes it very difficult to update this particular story – I can't share all the details just yet but, trust me, it'll be worth it (I hope. Lol).
Giant thanks and a virtual hugs go out to ILUVJENNETTEX on Twitter (not sure of her name on here) for all the story love. You have her to thank for getting this new chapter. She was just too excited for me not to update. And thanks to all of you who have read, reviewed and waited so patiently for me to get this chapter out. I hope you think it as worth the wait.
There is some medical terminology and situations in this chapter. I am not a doctor. So while I have done some research I'm sure there are errors – forgive me in advance. lol
So, without further ado, away we go...
Chapter 11– In His Name, Part 2
"It's Sam."
"There's been an accident."
"I'm so sorry."
He'd yet to wrap his mind around it. He was barely aware of his surroundings as he sped toward the hospital. A.J. sat quietly in the backseat, aware, without Freddie saying anything, that something was wrong. Freddie looked in the rearview mirror at his son's face, frowning as the boy clutched his Ironman action figure. Freddie knew he should say something to reassure A.J. that everything was okay. But he didn't have the words – for A.J. or himself.
It was all too familiar.
"There's been an accident."
They were the same words spoken into the deathly silent dorm room the night Carly died. The night everything changed. He hadn't had words then either. Standing behind Sam, watching as she crumpled to the ground and the officers continued to speak words that he couldn't hear. His head was filled with questions and fear, disbelief and horror. He hadn't been sure he could handle it; the pain had been overwhelming. But looking at Sam, so broken and guilt ridden, unable even to dress herself as she sobbed, he knew there wasn't time then to deal with his own feelings. She needed him, and he'd steeled himself for whatever was going to come, determined to be there for her, to be strong for her.
And now it was déjà vu. Once again, he was filled with worry and fear; feeling his world shift out of control around him. Once again, he wondered how he'd ever be strong enough to handle the situation before him.
Carly and Sam had been the cornerstones of his life for as long as he could remember. He'd essentially lost both of them at once and that loss had nearly destroyed him. He mourned Carly, and as hard as it still was to know he couldn't just call her up or hear her voice, he'd made peace with it. But with Sam, it was a different story. He'd planned to spend his life with her, looked into his future and seen a million scenarios of happiness, all laid out with brilliant clarity. And in every one of those scenarios, it was her, smiling and beautiful – loving him.
He'd told himself he was over it, that he'd healed or at least moved on. She was gone, she wasn't coming back, and he was okay with that – or so he thought. But Sam's reappearance in his life had made one fact certain – he wasn't over it. He'd merely looked at his own pain and, just like the night Carly died, he'd come to his own rescue, covering his hurt, forcing himself to ignore what he felt, and move forward as if it didn't exist.
But now, when the possibility of losing her – really losing her-was looming in front of him, he couldn't do it. Couldn't ignore the ice-cold fear creeping through his veins. Couldn't ignore his desperate need for her to be okay. Maybe she couldn't be in his life, and maybe things would never be the way they had been between them, but the idea of living in a world where Sam didn't exist was unthinkable. And more than he had in the six years since the accident, he wished Carly was here.
When Carly died, Sam spent hours in the apartment, holding Carly's stuffed elephant Pepe and staring out at nothing. She blamed herself; she'd only said it out loud once and when she did, Freddie rushed to her side, holding her rigid form as he reassured her that she was wrong. It was an accident – no one could have stopped it.
He hadn't understood how she could think that being with Carly that night would have changed anything. If they'd been together, he'd have lost both of them. But Sam never saw it that way, no matter how vehemently he protested. She'd never mentioned it again, but he knew she still believed it.
There were nights he'd wake to an empty bed and hear her crying in the bathroom alone and in those moments he knew – they might all be hurting over losing Carly, but for Sam the pain went deeper, and it was eating her alive.
He'd tried to be supportive but as the months passed he became more and more agitated, horrified that she could think herself responsible for something so obviously not her fault. He understood her now.
'This is all your fault.'
He shook his head to try to remove the accusations in his mind, loud and angry, making it impossible to hear anything else. The belief went soul deep, and he knew that no amount of reassurance would convince him otherwise. He had no idea what he was going to see at the hospital-his mother refused to give him the details over the phone-but he knew that no matter what he found, the blame for it rested securely in his lap.
The loud honking of the car behind him dragged him from his thoughts. The light was green, and if the enthusiastic honking and finger waving from the driver behind him was any indication, he'd been sitting there for a while.
With a sigh, he looked out the front window and drove forward. Just ahead of him he saw the sign for Seattle General Hospital and his stomach lurched. He pulled into the parking garage, found a spot, and laid his head on the steering wheel, trying in vain to keep his hands from shaking. He wasn't sure what he was walking into, but whatever it was, he wasn't prepared for it.
"Daddy?" A.J's voice reached out to him from the back seat and he raised his head, turning toward his son. A.J.'s hand pointed out the side window. Freddie looked in the direction A.J. was pointing and saw a disheveled Mira walking toward the car.
"Alright, A.J. Time to go." Freddie reached back and unbuckled A.J.'s car seat, watching as the little boy stood and opened his door. Freddie took a deep breath and opened his own door, stepping out of the car to stand beside Mira.
"Hey." Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. "Any word yet?" Her eyes searched Freddie's face for answers as she leaned down to gather A.J. in her arms.
Freddie shook his head, and swallowed against the tightness in his throat. "Nothing more than the last time I talked to you. My mom said she'd explain everything when I got here. But it, it doesn't sound good."
Mira reached out and laid her hand on Freddie's shoulder. This was a side of him she rarely saw. Freddie was more even tempered than anyone she'd ever known. Most of his feelings seemed to exist behind a door only he had the key to. It took a lot to shake his composure. If his silence wasn't indication enough, then the dark shadows under his eyes and the firm set of his jaw were. He was hurting, and she could do nothing to stop it.
"Do you want me to come in with you?" she asked, already certain of his answer.
"No, I…I need to handle this – whatever it is-alone." He ran a hand through his hair. "But there is something you can do for me – for Sam, I mean."
"Sure, whatever you need."
"Sam doesn't have any family here, but her, um, friend – Raj. I don't think he knows. Could you go to the hotel and let him know, maybe give him a ride here?"
Mira bit her lip. Raj hadn't made much of an impression on her, but now wasn't the time to discuss her opinions of him. Freddie needed her to do something and she'd do it.
"You got it. Anything else?"
"No, that's it."
They stood in silence, neither sure of what to say. A.J. began to fidget in his mother's arms and Mira took it as her cue to leave.
"You'd probably better get in there." Freddie stood in front of her, staring at the ground, his knuckles white as they shook in fits at his side. "Freddie?" Finally, he looked up at her, his eyes red rimmed with the tears he was fighting.
"I don't think I can do this." He whispered. "What if…"
"Don't!" Mira's voice was firm as she reached out to grab his hand in her own. "Don't do this. Now isn't the time for what-ifs. Sam needs you."
He shook his head. She didn't need him. She needed someone stronger, someone who wasn't so afraid. "But…I messed up Mira. I messed up bad."
"This isn't about you Freddie! You messed up, but now you've got a chance to make it right by being there for her."
Freddie drew in a deep breath and lifted his eyes to look into Mira's. If anyone had told him twenty-four hours ago that he'd be standing here, falling apart, or that Mira would be the one holding him together, he'd never have believed it.
"You ready?" she asked.
"No. But I will be - I hope." He leaned over and placed a kiss on A.J.'s cheek, squeezing Mira's hand as he started toward the elevator.
"I'll be back as soon as I can." Mira called after him.
Freddie nodded and entered the elevator, watching as Mira placed A.J. inside her car. The elevator doors shut and he slumped against the wall. When he closed his eyes, he could see Sam, her face stained with tears as she gathered her clothes – never saying a word.
The doors opened onto the street across from the emergency room entrance. He forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and felt a cold sweat gather at the base of his neck. With measured breaths, he stood on the sidewalk outside the ER doors.
For six years, he'd imagined what it would be like to see Sam again. Now she was back, and as he walked through the sliding glass, he couldn't help but wonder if he was going to lose her again.
Mira tapped her fingers impatiently on the reservation desk. She'd been talking to the gum-popping young girl behind the desk for ten minutes. The girl—her nametag said 'Candy'—didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation.
"What was the name again?" Candy asked, looking at Mira through about two coats of mascara more than she needed.
"Raj! His name is Raj…just like it was the last two times you asked me!" She leaned over the desk and Candy's eyes went wide. "Listen, I told you this is an emergency. His colleague is in the hospital and they need him there, like now! So if you could just go get your manager or someone, anyone, who can help me, I would really appreciate it!"
"I'm sorry," Candy ran an acrylic nail tipped hand through her hair, "This is my first week and I'm still new to this system and…we aren't really supposed to give out guest information so…"
"You don't have to give me the information, okay? How about this – you find him, give him a call and tell him that there's someone here to see him – about Sam."
"Sam?"
"Yes! Sam!" Mira, groaned in frustration. "Sam, his colleague – the one who's in the hospital!"
Candy cast a nervous glance at Mira and then back at her screen, typing furiously. "It would be a lot easier if you knew his last name."
Mira racked her brain, trying to remember details of the night she really wanted to forget. He'd introduced himself. Raj…
"It starts with a P. Puram, Pali…Patel!" she nearly launched herself over the desk in relief. "It's Patel! Raj Patel!"
Candy squinted at the screen, her face suddenly breaking into a smile. "Yep, there he is. Told ya it'd be easier with a last name."
Mira fought against the urge to wrap her hands around Candy's neck and instead turned her back to the desk as Candy dialed Raj's room extension. A.J. ran around her legs, his action figure lifted up to the sky in front of him. Life had suddenly gotten very complicated and she wished it could be as simple as it was for A.J.
"Mr. Patel? Yes, this is Candy from the front desk. There's a…woman here. No sir, she's not blonde. She says she's here to see you – about Pam."
"Sam!" Mira called over her shoulder.
"Sam, she's here about…pardon me? Okay, I'll ask her. Excuse me, ma'am?" Mira turned to face her. "He said to ask your name."
"Tell him it's Mira and Sam's hurt so he needs to quit asking questions and get his ass down here now!"
Candy turned back to the phone. "Um, sir? She said her name is Mira and that, um, Sam is hurt and you need…hello? Hello?" she looked at Mira, her face puzzled. "Um, I think he hung up."
Mira pushed herself up from the desk and grabbed A.J.'s hand, heading toward the elevator bay, waiting. As she reached it, the doors opened and Raj rushed out of the doors and ran directly into her, his face flushed, brow furrowed.
"Mira?" he stepped back, "What's going on? Sam's hurt? What happened?" his words ran together, barely giving Mira room to respond.
"Slow down Raj…"
"Just tell me what's going on!"
"There was an accident. Sam was in an accident and she's at the hospital now."
"An accident? I don't understand? Where was she? I've been calling her room for hours."
"She was…" She really didn't want to be the one to tell him the circumstances surrounding the accident. Even if Sam said she and Raj weren't romantically linked, it was obvious that he had feelings for her. Telling him exactly why Sam had been missing the last few hours wasn't going to end well. "Just come with me. I'll take you to the hospital and you can get your questions answered." She softened her voice. "I'm sure it's going to be fine. Let's just – let's just go see what's going on."
She placed a hand on his arm and he looked over at her, shaking his head.
"Alright. Let me just go grab my phone."
Mira nodded as Raj entered the elevator. When he returned, he had a small envelope with him, along with his cell phone. He'd changed out of the sweatpants he'd been wearing and into a pair of jeans and a GirlForce T-shirt. She gestured for him to follow her and they headed for the parking lot, neither of them speaking.
"She was with him, wasn't she?" His voice was soft but intense as Mira fastened her seatbelt and paused, looking over at him. "With…Freddie, that's where she was right?" He stared out the front window, his jaw tight, shoulders slumped.
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"No. I guess I don't."
Mira started the car, pulling out into traffic, heading toward the hospital. The next few minutes were painfully silent as they rode through the busy Seattle streets.
"So… how long?"
Raj turned to her, "How long what?"
"How long have you been in love with her?"
He sighed and leaned his head back against the seat. He didn't speak, just sat stock still with his eyes closed.
"You don't really want me to answer that do you?" His attempt at a joke was lost in the somber mood that hovered over them.
Mira paused at a stop light and turned to look at him. "Yes actually, I would."
Raj sighed and sat up, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Is it that obvious?"
"Only to people with eyes." She said kindly, turning as she pulled again into traffic.
"Too long," he answered, his voice low, his eyes focused ahead of him. He stared out of the front window but his eyes seemed to be looking at something only he could see. "There's nothing worse than loving someone who can never love you back."
Mira gave a wry smile. "Mr. Patel, you're preaching to the choir."
The car settled back into tense silence as Mira pulled into the hospital parking garage. Turning into a parking spot near the bank of elevators, she turned off the ignition and paused, hands in her lap.
"Listen Raj, I don't know you, and I can't pretend to know what you must be feeling right now, but…I think I understand, at least a little. If it were Freddie…I don't know what I'd do." She turned to look at him. "I'm…well, I'm sorry."
"Don't!" His voice was firm and his eyes full of fire when he turned a glance toward her. "Don't talk about her like…like she's gone already."
"I didn't mean to…"
"I know what you meant but, no offense, I don't need you to say you're sorry. Sam's a fighter. It doesn't matter what's going on in there. She's going to be okay." He opened his door and looked over his shoulder at her. "She has to be."
Following him into the hospital, A.J's hand wrapped tightly in her own, she could only hope for all of their sakes that Raj was right.
He hated hospitals.
The antiseptic smell, the steady hums and beeps of machines that sounded so routine – if you could ignore the fact that many of them were the only thing standing between the life and death of those lying still in the rooms around him. There was life here, to be sure: babies being born, lives being saved. But there was also death, cold and unyielding, present despite the doctors' and nurses' best attempts to keep it at bay. Slipping in to draw out people's last breath even as their families and friends sat by watching, waiting - praying.
For as many smiling, balloon-carrying visitors as there were in this place, there were likely twice as many just like him. Sitting in a hallway, holding a stale cup of coffee, wishing there was something he could do to fix the situation in front of him. He looked at his watch and back down the hall at the room he wasn't allowed into. No one seemed to understand. He didn't want to be in there – he needed to be in there. The small blond woman who lay, unconscious, in that bed was the thread that ran though his whole life. Everything he was and everything he knew was somehow tied to her and not being able to help, to just be there – the helplessness of it was suffocating him.
He'd asked his mother to do something, grease the wheels, whatever she had to, to get him into that room. Her hands were tied. Sam's situation was pretty serious at the moment, and no one outside of family was allowed in the room. The best he'd been able to do was peek into the small windowed opening to the side of the room's door. What he'd seen had made him nauseated.
Her face was a mask of bruises. They'd cleaned her up, his mother said, she looked better than when she came in. He could scarcely imagine that. She was still, her hair spilling around her on the pillow she lay on. It struck him as odd; in all the time he'd known her it was rare for her to be immobile. So, for him, it wasn't the machines she was hooked to or the steady stream of doctors and nurses walking in and out of the room that brought home the seriousness of the situation to him. It was her, lying unmoving, like the princess in some twisted version of a fairy tale.
He looked at his watch and wondered where Mira was. She should be here, with Raj, by now. And while he wasn't exactly looking forward to being in the same room with Sam's colleague, he did wish Mira was here. With her biting, sometimes inappropriate, sense of humor – if she was here she'd help him take his mind off of this, or at least help him believe everything would be okay, somehow.
"Freddie?" his mother's voice pulled him from his thoughts. She approached him from the direction of Sam's room, a doctor walking behind her. "Honey, this is Dr. Nazardian. He's the doctor in charge of Sam's care."
Freddie stood up and shook the doctor's hand when he approached them.
"Is she okay? Can I see her?" He felt his mother's hand, soft and reassuring on his shoulder.
"We've got Sam sedated right now. Her injuries, most of them, aren't life threatening." He consulted the clipboard he held in his hands. "She has a dislocated shoulder, which we've set. Bruising and cuts from the impact and we believe a concussion."
"So if that's all that's wrong, why is she sedated?"
Dr. Nazardian looked up from the clipboard. "Well, the majority of her injuries weren't serious but there are a few that concern us. She has a complete break of the fibula. It came through the skin and we need to get that set, however her blood pressure is dangerously low which inhibits the safety level associated with all but life saving surgeries. But that isn't our main concern."
"What is?"
"Well, it appears Ms. Puckett is bleeding internally. At the moment we aren't sure why. We're prepping her for CT scan but, I have to tell you, her vital signs are unstable which, in cases like these, is often associated with a splenic rupture." Freddie looked to his mother.
"A ruptured spleen, honey."
"Her low blood pressure is a sign to us that this may be especially severe."
The elevator bay behind them dinged and Marissa placed a hand on Freddie's shoulder, pointing toward the opening elevator doors. Raj, looking as weary as Freddie felt, walked toward them, nodding his head in recognition.
"Freddie."
"Raj."
"Isn't Mira with you?"
"Freddie honey, she's probably in the lobby with A.J. He's too young to be in here." Marissa extended her hand to Raj. "Hello, I'm Freddie's mother, Marissa. I was on duty when Sam came in."
"Nice to meet you." Raj said, "Is she okay? Can I see her?
"They aren't letting anyone in." Freddie said pointing toward Dr. Nazardian, "This is Dr. Nazardian, he's in charge of Sam's care."
"Good to meet you doctor. Can you tell me what's going on?"
"I was just explaining to Mr. Benson that Sam's vital signs have become unstable in the last half hour. We suspect internal bleeding, possibly due to a splenic rupture."
"Oh my God," Raj said, covering his mouth, "What happened? How did this happen?" he said, turning to Freddie.
Freddie sighed and lowered his head, unable to meet Raj's eyes. "She was in a car accident. She swerved into the oncoming traffic and was hit head on."
"Where was she coming from?" Raj's eyes narrowed and Freddie suspected that he already knew the answer the question he was asking. Dr. Nazardian cleared his throat to interrupt them.
"I'm sorry but right now the why's of Ms. Puckett's case are not as important as the what's. This is serious and in situations like this we like to have the family sign off on the course of treatment. If the CT scan confirms our suspicions we'll need to prep her immediately for surgery. Now, do any of you know of a family member we can contact? Someone with rights to make medical decisions for her?"
"I do." Raj said, extending a manila envelope to Marissa. "I have her Power of Attorney."
Freddie was speechless, staring at Raj open-mouthed. It was rational. He knew that. Sam lived on another continent. It only made sense for her to have someone in close proximity who could step in if something happened to her. But the idea that this man played such an important role in Sam's life – her new life, felt like razor wire being scraped over a newly opened wound. This man was Sam's family now.
"Excellent," Dr. Nazardian said, making a note on his clipboard. "If you'll follow me Mr…"
"Patel. Rajesh Patel."
"Right, if you'll follow me Mr. Patel, I'll let you see her before we take her."
Raj started off down the hall toward Sam's room and on instinct Freddie followed until he felt his mother pull at his shirt sleeve.
"Freddie, wait."
"No mom, he's going to let us see Sam." He yanked his arm away from her. "I have to go." He turned again to leave and this time his mother moved to stand in front of him, blocking his way.
"No Freddie." She shook her head, "Dr. Nazardian said he'd take Raj to see her. He's her power of attorney. He…he has rights that…."
"That what?" Freddie said, his voice raising.
"That you don't have." His mother's voice was a whisper. "Dr. Nazardian did me a favor by telling you what was going on with Sam. We can always chalk that up to you needing to know so you could notify her family but…seeing her, in the condition she's in. They can't allow it."
"I don't understand," He said, his voice cracking. "I need to be in there. She…she needs me, Mom."
Marissa's eyes filled with tears, "I'm so, so sorry Freddie, but as far as the hospital is concerned, that young man in there – he's her family."
Freddie stumbled backwards and dropped into a waiting room chair, his mother's words like a slap in the face.
Raj was her family.
Freddie was not.
The reality of the situation stole the air from his lungs and he struggled to maintain his composure, struggled against his desire to run down the hall and force his way into that room.
His mother knelt beside his chair, her hands on the arm rests. "Freddie, listen to me." He raised his head reluctantly to look at her. He tried to focus. The sound of his own heart thudding in his chest made it difficult to hear the words coming from her mouth. "Sam is going to be okay. Do you hear me?"
Freddie nodded.
"She's a fighter, always has been, you're just going to have to hold onto that. Believe in that."
He nodded again and only when the stinging heat of tears began to pool at his chin did he realize he was crying. He couldn't do this. He wasn't strong enough. He wanted to believe, but fear crept into him, settling in his bones.
"But Mom, what if…"
"No! Stop it right now Fredward Benson." His mother was crying along with him now. Her jaw was set firm but her eyes welled with tears. "You cannot do this! Sam can't give up…and neither can you."
There was a scream, barely concealed under the surface of his mind. It echoed through his body, rippling in his chest but he could not let it free. If he started screaming now he might never stop. And so he nodded, not trusting his own voice.
His mother moved to the chair beside him and grabbed his hand. They sat together, fingers intertwined; staring in the direction of the girl they'd loved, lost and feared losing again. Five minutes later, the door to Sam's room opened and Raj stepped out, shaking the doctor's hand then moving to the side as the bed holding Sam's still form was wheeled out into the hallway and toward a bank of elevators. Raj stood watching until Sam's bed disappeared, then turned and stared at Freddie for an impossibly long moment. A million words were silently exchanged and when Raj began to walk toward him Freddie steeled himself for a show down.
"Mrs. Benson," Raj said to Marissa, "Could you please give me a moment to talk to your son?"
Marissa looked between the two men, both now openly staring at each other, Raj the picture of anger, Freddie's face filled with guilt and frustration. Freddie nodded at his mother and she walked away slowly, glancing over her shoulder every few steps.
"So…you wanted to talk."
Raj's eyes were angry narrow slits, "What the hell happened?"
"Sam was in an accident and…"
"I know that part you idiot! What happened before that? Why was she in an accident?" he raised a hand as Freddie began to speak, "And save the five o'clock news details for someone else. I talked to Mira, I know you had something to do with this. What the hell did you do?"
"Sam was at my house…"
"Why?"
"I don't really see how that's any of your business."
"What happens to Sam is my business!"
"Oh, please!" Freddie said, having taken as much self-righteous chastisement as he could. "You can stop pulling the 'we're in love' bit! I know the truth – you're Sam's friend, her colleague, and that's all! So you can quit throwing your weight around like…"
"Like I'm more important to her than you?" his mouth stretched into a sneer as he stepped closer to Freddie. "It burns you up doesn't it? Knowing that you have no power here, no say. Knowing that I'm the one she's counting on. I'm the one…"
"Oh, so we're gonna have a pissing contest now?" Freddie said, not backing down. "This is just proof that you don't deserve her. She's fighting for her life and you're fighting – for what?"
"For her!"
"For Sam? For her life…" his voice was ice cold, "or for her to love you." Raj flinched and took a small step back. It was all Freddie needed. "But that's what burns you up isn't it Raj? That you've been there for her for six years, probably loved her for six years and at the end of the day…she's still not yours."
He'd gone too far but the words were already said, there was no way to take them back. He could have said worse, could have said that Raj was jealous that he, not Raj, was the one that Sam loved. But even in anger that was an assumption he could not make. A statement his pain would not let him accept as truth.
The stood staring at each other, the weight of Freddie's words hanging heavy between them. Neither moved, each resisting the urge to make the fight physical. Raj, finally, moved first. Shaking his head he gave a mirthless laugh.
"I don't have time for this. And it doesn't matter anyway. As soon as this is all over, Sam will be on a plane headed back to India. The place she wanted to be…without you." Turning on his heel, he headed down the hall toward Sam's room, leaving Freddie to deal with the painful truth that Raj was right.
He sat heavily in a chair, pulling out his phone to call Liz. She answered on the first ring and, as usual seemed to know all about the situation before he did.
"How are you holding up, boss?" she asked, her voice filled with concern.
"I've been better, Liz. Listen, I'm not going to be in today – possibly not tomorrow either. If there are any issues…"
"I've got it. Your mom called. She said your friend was hurt pretty badly."
"Yeah, Sam."
"The one from the webshow…"
"That's the one." He knew that Liz understood. She was one of the few people in his life currently that he spoke to about iCarly. She knew about Carly. She understood how serious this all was.
"Don't worry. I'll handle things. It's really quiet around here today and if anything comes up, I know where to find you."
"Thank Liz, you're a life saver…I don't pay you enough."
She laughed. "I'll remind you of that when it's annual review time."
"Alright. I'd better go, have to go find Mira and A.J."
"Sure thing, and Freddie – let me know if you need anything. You know I'm here."
"Thanks Liz, that means a lot. Talk to you later."
He hung up the phone and stood to his feet. He was tired. He hadn't had much sleep and the last two days were starting to run together in his mind. One impossibly long space of time during which his world was all but crumbling. At least that's how it felt. Taking the elevator to the main floor he spotted Mira standing near a bank of windows, staring out into the street – and A.J. fast asleep in a chair beside her.
"Hey," he said, approaching her from behind.
"Hey yourself," she said, turning to him. "How's everything…how's Sam?"
"Not good." he said, leaning down to pick up A.J. and sit in the seat he'd occupied. He wrapped his arms around the small boy, closed his eyes and let the feeling of A.J.'s heart beating against his own comfort him. Opening his eyes he looked over to Mira who'd taken a seat in the chair next to his. "She's got a dislocated shoulder, a concussion, a broken leg and she's all bruised up." He shook his head trying to rid himself of the image of a battered Sam lying deathly still. "But the worst part, the part they're worried about, is that it appears that she's bleeding internally. Her vitals are all over the place and the doctor thinks maybe she's ruptured her spleen."
Mira whistled and leaned over her knees, turning her head to look up at Freddie. "Have you been in to see her?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"They won't let me in."
"What?!"
"I'm not family although, apparently, this guy Raj is so he's in there now. They just took her to get a CT scan."
"Well, maybe we can ask Raj to let you…"
"He's not going to let me see her." There was finality in his answer that kept Mira silent.
He looked across the waiting room and saw his mother hurrying toward them.
"Freddie," she said, "I've been looking for you."
Freddie stood up, passing A.J. off to Mira, "What! What happened? Is Sam alright?"
"Well, yes…and no. Dr. Nazardian was right, her spleen is ruptured – it's causing the internal bleeding and the drop in blood pressure."
"So what are they going to do?"
"Normally, if the spleen were only damaged, they'd do an embolization but in this case there is a complete rupture. They have to do surgery immediately or else…"
"Or else what? Mom, don't tell me that…"
"Freddie," she said taking his hands, "I told you, Sam is going to be okay. They found out the source of the problem before any irreversible damage is done. She's being attended by some of the best physicians in the city. She's in good hands."
"And you'll let me know?"
"As soon as I hear anything I'll let you know. Until then, why don't you go home and get some sleep?"
"No! I'm not leaving until…until I know she's okay."
Marissa nodded her head. She understood. Her shift would be over soon but she knew that even once she'd clocked out she'd still be here – looking over Sam, making sure everything was okay. She'd missed out on six years of looking out for her – she wouldn't let her down now.
Freddie walked back to his seat.
"What can I do?" Mira asked.
"The same thing any of us can," Freddie said. "Wait...and pray."
A/N2: Whoa…that was hard to write! Reward me for ripping my own heart out by leaving a review?
Also, if you have the time, there are some Seddie authors whose stories I really enjoy. If you check them out I promise you'll be glad you did.
AnnieRocket, DwynArthur, WhiteKnightro, Lackadaisical Pajamas, TheSamGirl, ExpressionsofAWriter, MelsGvardo, moviepal, pigwiz.
Know of some great fan fic authors? PM me, I'd love to hear your faves.