To try and get forgiven for the long wait, here is another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the following characters.
11
Rituals and Replicas
Clarisse blinked. It was her turn.
An identical model of Clarisse materialised itself right in front of her.
"Tell me why you're a good person," the model said. "Tell me every single thing you've done that the judges of the dead will let you in Elysium for. Tell me every single thing you are proud of. Tell me your accomplishments. As if you're passing a job interview. Come on La Rue, look alive."
Clarisse swallowed.
"I raised that kid in my cabin," she said. "He was eight when he got here. Toby McCoy. He's gone now- stays home."
"I raised my little sister Abigail. She's gone now too, but gone for good." The doppelganger replied, as if to match it.
"I was the first camper to enter the labyrinth this century," Clarisse said.
"I was the first soldier to doubt the system."
"I was the first child of Ares to lead a successful Capture-the-Flag game in fifty years," Clarisse said.
"I was the first child of Hecate to be a camp counsellor. Ever."
Definitely Lou Ellen.
"I led the quest to find the Golden Fleece," Clarisse said. "I fought off three basilisks and an Empoussa on an airplane to get the damn thing back to New York."
"I translated over 50 texts from Runes into English or Greek to make sure that they weren't lost for future generations of magic-makers, often dealing with attracting monsters in the process." The doppelganger said.
"I led my cabin and made sure over three quarters of them survived through the Battle of Manhattan," Clarisse said.
"I convinced my siblings to rebel against Kronos to fight for the Olympians," the doppelganger said. Had she really done those things?
"I killed a drakon."
"That I did not."
"I held the best friend I ever had as she died," Clarisse said. Her heart was on her sleeve when she said that, and images of Silena and Silena's smile and Silena's hair and Silena's eyes danced around Connor's mind. He could nearly hear her laughter in the wind.
"Bless you for that." The Carbon Copy said, looking as haunted as Connor felt.
"I survived a Hyperborean's frost."
"I survived every single day getting told to kill myself or getting pound on." Lou Ellen said.
Clarisse blinked. Her carbon copy blinked back.
"The thing is," she said. "We're not that different. We're both leaders. We both care about our people. We've both lost some of those people. We've both been told to back out of what we love for various reasons- religion, ignorance, gender, race… We've both broken rules and enjoyed doing it. Yeah?" The carbon copy smiled and Clarisse had to smile back. "But the thing is; I haven't lost the very human ability of empathy. Because that is your problem."
"My problem right now is you," Real Clarisse growled.
"No," Carbon Copy said. "Because I've been yelled at that I'm worthless too. Not by my father, of course…"
"You are crossing the lines." Real Clarisse growled.
Carbon Copy ignored her. "I've been told worst too. I've been called a waste of space. I've been told to kill myself and try to be reborn into something better. I've been yelled at just for the fun of it, let's be real. And never. Ever. Have I repeated those words to anybody else. And never. Ever. Will I."
Carbon Copy sized up Clarisse from head to toe. "You? You're disconnected. Somehow, you forget how small you are when someone yells at you."
Clarisse shrunk in size. She was Connor's height now.
"Somehow, you forget how tiny you are when someone tells you these things."
She was now four feet tall.
"Teeny. Tiny."
She might reach Connor's knees.
"Molecular."
She was about half-way to his ankles; Connor was many things –charming for one- but tall was not one of them.
"How weak you feel."
Clarisse dropped the stick she was still holding. Her arms were shaking.
"How cold everything inside you gets."
The daughter of Ares was trembling like a leaf. She was George Shrinks faced with the neighbour's cat.
"How horrible you feel."
Clarisse was shaking her head. Her skin was tinged green.
"You can somehow be dashing on the battlefield, strong as a leader, wonderful as a trooper… you can keep a strong face when you're told that you are a disappointment to your blood, to your kin, when you get pushed around. But you fail miserably at remembering those feelings. You fail at placing your emotions in the real world. And so you make others feel that way constantly. You are exactly the person that you hate so much. You are what you hate, and you don't even realise it because you are so busy taking out how horrible the world is and how hot your blood boils on everyone."
Clarisse didn't deny it.
"So maybe I had it coming, you know. Getting my ass handed to me every day. I was the worst of the world for you. I was a servant of Kronos. I hadn't even been blackmailed into it. Not like Silena."
"Don't you say her name," Clarisse growled.
Lou Ellen didn't mind. "Getting my ass handed to me every day and never being able to do anything because what is there to be done? When someone's so strong, when you're so small, when they're so supported, when you're so alone. I mean, what kind of defense could I have without being called out on it? Does anyone ever get away from you? Or are you like your father?"
Clarisse looked like she'd been smacked.
"That's it, isn't it? You're a daughter of Ares. You'll push people around- it's the way things are, the order of things, the circle of life... So maybe I shouldn't take it personally, maybe I'm just one in a day. On the other hand, maybe your dad's right. Maybe you do fail."
Clarisse was zapped back to her own size.
"But I get where you're coming from- it's something in your blood that's hard to control or something. Bless you, seriously, bless you. It's not easy. But you could at least try. You could make an effort even if your particular DNA doesn't get called out for getting out of hand. You and I aren't that different," Carbon Copy said.
Her features smudged, she lost a foot or two of height, her hair softened and styled itself, her skin darkened, her build melted, her eyes widened…
"Even when I look like this," Lou Ellen said. "So think. Are you and your father that different?"
Clarisse didn't reply. She shook her head.
The smaller girl shook her head and she looked as if her throat was tight.
"I hope you prove it to me one day," Lou Ellen said. She disappeared.