Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Bloody Phantom: Loved your explanation of Remus. It was perfect and I completely agree with you.
SerialKeller: He acted that way because he's never had parents. Never known what it would feel like to call Lily mum. Or anyone mum. So the thought of his mother finally finding out, finally being able to have his mother in his life, but knowing that he can't (not yet) change the past so he must erase her memory is completely crushing him. Here he has the opportunity to get to know Lily as not just a friend, but as his mother, and then because of reality and the fact that things must stay the same, he gets that opportunity ripped from him because he knows what he has to do.
Breezers2000: I plan on lots of interaction between Harry and Lily, don't worry.
Thanks to anyone who reviewed. Seriously, means a lot. Anyways, read! AND REVIEW!
"Excited for today, Lily?" Alice said, smiling as she walked in. Her eyes ran over Lily and she frowned.
"Is that what you're wearing?"
"Um, yes." Lily bit her bottom lip. "I thought it would be nice, you know with the pink little flowers and the green stripes under them. The pants are lovely. And the skirt over it-"
Alice interrupted her, her mouth shaped in a horrified 'O'.
"You don't like it." Lily stated.
"No, it's – it's not bad….just. It's ghastly."
"That bad, huh?"
Alice nodded.
"But we can fix it!" She rushed.
Lily eyes widened in fright, "We are not playing dress up."
"Who said anything about dress up?" Her friend answered from the bathroom.
"Just some touch ups here and there."
"But - but, this is fine!"
"If you want him to deny knowing you, then wearing it is a great idea. Now sit."
Lily huffed but sat down.
"Ok, your hair-"
"What's wrong with my hair?!"
"Nothing dear, just, it's a little frizzy."
"James likes my hair!"
Alice patted her shoulder sympathetically, "I'm sure he does."
After almost an hour of sitting, Lily huffed in aggravation. "Are you done yet? My legs are cramping."
"There, see I told you a little here and there would make a huge difference. Now, spin around."
She hadn't done anything to her hair, James did like it, so there was nothing to do. But if they were to go by with what James liked about Lily, she could go right out of bed in a potato sack. She wanted to put Lily in a mini skirt, but her friend opted for pants instead. She decided that her friend should be true to herself. So Lily was going on her date dressed like a muggle.
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"Prongs, sit down!"
"Yeah, you're making me nervous. And I don't even have a date."
"Someone will catch your eye, Wormtail, don't worry, and then it'll be you we're trying to calm down."
"How do I look?"
"Incredibly sexy."
"Thanks, Sirius."
"Anytime."
"How sexy?" James asked nervously, looking at his reflection.
"Very." Sirius said, annoyed.
"That doesn't help."
Sirius grinned evilly, "So sexy you make me wanna-"
"DON'T finish that sentence." James looked horrified, his face turning green.
Remus sighed, Sirius was too much sometimes and the last thing they needed was James getting sick all over the floor, "Prongs, if you want to know how you look, go ask a girl."
"No! What if I see Lily?"
"You won't see Lily."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I'm sure Alice has her tied up somewhere." Remus responded level headedly.
"You think she's that excited to do this?"
"Of course not. Alice needs something to hold her down while she gives her a makeover." Sirius said, snickering.
"Thanks, Padfoot, that make me feel so much better. And Lily doesn't need a makeover. She's beautiful the way she is." James sighed happily as his eyes got distant.
"Gag."
"You're just jealous!"
"Of what? Lily Flower?"
"Would you two please stop acting like two year old girls." Remus was quickly growing tired of this whole situation.
"Two year old sexy girls."
"Yeah, cause that's not creepy." Peter said, shuddering.
"It's not!"
"Denial is the first stage." Peter mocked.
"The first stage to what? Just what exactly are you insinuating?" Sirius asked, shaking his fist menacingly.
"Guys!" James yelled, "Now isn't the time!"
"James!"
"That's Alice, Prongs."
"I know who it is!"
"Geez, don't get your knickers in a twist." Sirius said defensively.
After a few moments of silence, Remus rolled his eyes and said, "Well, are you going to go or not?"
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"So….This is nice." He merely nodded. He was too busy taking her in. She looked amazing. She really did. "James? Are you even listening to me?"
He shook his head. "No, I'm sorry, Lily. I was just - do you how beautiful you are?"
She blushed and looked down.
"Promise me something."
"Anything."
"No matter what, we won't talk about the weather, okay?"
He laughed. "Deal."
"Good." She smiled and boldly took his hand, gripping it tight.
James stopped for a second and looked down at their linked hands. "Is something wrong?" She asked, looking disappointed and pulling her hand back towards her. But he only held it tighter and gave her a big, goofy grin.
"Butterbeer?"
"I'd love one."
"So what do muggles do all day if they can't fly?"
She rolled her eyes. Of course, the only thing he was comparing the two worlds to was a broom. Typical.
"They work. And some people, the really rich ones, get the closest thing to a broom."
"Really?" He sounded like a child at Christmas.
"It's nowhere near the same thing. It's called an airplane."
"A plane? It sounds plain. Get it? Plane, plain? Yeah, yeah…?"
She looked at him weirdly.
He coughed nervously. "Bad joke. Sorry. Anyway, it sounds boring."
"Not if you know what you're doing, And," she hurried to add, "If you have a stunt plane, you can do, well, stunts."
"It still sounds boring." He didn't look bored at all.
"I wouldn't know. I'm scared to death of heights."
"I'll have to take you flying next time."
"Assuming there is a next time."
His face fell.
She reached over to grab his hand again and smiled, "I don't really care about next time. I'll be too busy looking forward to the time after that."
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"This is really wro-"
"Shhh!"
"Padfoot, we shouldn't be spying on them!"
"What part of SHHH do you not understand?"
"The part where 'shhh' involves us under a cramped window sill stalking our best friend on his date!"
"It's not stalking. It's watching. There's a difference!"
"When you figure out what it is, do tell me."
Sirius scowled. "You're making a bunch of noise!"
Remus didn't say anything.
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
"Just proving a point."
"And what point is that?"
"That you're the one making a bunch of noise, not me."
"Moony, I swear-"
"Lily's leaning over."
"Leaning over? Like what kind of leaning over?"
"I don't know! Leaning over is leaning over!"
"Just because you're the smallest, Wormtail, doesn't mean you're not going to get booted. If you can't see anything, then you're coming down here and I'm going up there."
"You guys aren't lifting me high enough!"
"Fine. Moony?"
They raised their shaking arms higher. The feet on their palms struggling to stay balanced.
"Merlin." Peter breathed.
"What? What is it? What happened?" Sirius asked, nearly dropping Peter in his excitement.
"Prongs kissed her!"
"Like a 'hello, I like you, is that ok?' kiss, or an 'eating your face.' kiss?"
"He pulled her over the table!"
"What?!"
"Quietly, Padfoot, even though I know you don't know the meaning of the word." Remus shushed, breathing a little harder with the effort of keeping Peter up.
Sirius scowled and opened his mouth to say something in his defense, "Padfoot…"
"She's on his lap!"
"Doing what exactly?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Don't answer that!" Remus yelled, horrified.
"Fun sucker."
Remus frowned, "Am not, Sirius!"
"Are, too."
"Do you honestly expect me to continue arguing about this?"
"GUYS!"
"SHHH!"
"I think it's an 'eating your face' kiss."
"Why? What's going on?"
"Er…"
"Yah, it's definitely an 'eating your face here' kiss."
Remus shook his head.
"What?"
"Where do you come up with this stuff?"
"It falls out my arse. Do you wanna know how?" He asked excitedly.
Remus blinked, "No."
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Harry took another sip of his hot, warm tea, the liquid soothingly burning his tongue. He mentally checked off most of the things on his 'what to do today' list. Not that he actually had one, of course.
He hadn't enjoyed the Hogsmeade trip like his fellow class mates or checked on his parents first date, though he was tempted to. No, he had far more important things to do than just enjoy the day. He had spent his vacation time looking for the House of Gaunt.
Unfortunately for him, he had found it. It wasn't a charmer. In fact, it was downright hideous. Abandoned, too. And so filled and protected by dark magic that the thought alone made him shudder. The outside walls were covered in a cracked, red paint. Or at least that's what the muggles would think if they saw it. But Harry knew better, it was blood. Who's? He didn't want to know.
So now that he knew where it was, he had to deal with breaking the wards. And that meant coming to terms with something he didn't want to do again. It meant he would have to go back to the Room of Requirement.
He sighed. Life hated him.
He heard a tinkling laugh and looked out the window to see Lily and James, walking hand in hand. Harry guessed they were going to come here, and not wanting to ruin his mother's fun, decided it was time to leave.
He snuck out just in time and crept around a corner.
"It falls out of my arse. Do you wanna know how?" He was pretty sure the interesting question had come from Sirius. It made him wonder just what the hell Sirius was doing.
"No."
"No, really it does."
"Oh, I'm sure it does. It sure as hell wouldn't surprise me if it did." He heard Remus' agitated voice.
"You don't really believe me, do you?"
"I wouldn't know how to answer that."
"Don't try to confuse me! And the question was rhetorical!"
"I'll try to remember you like rhetorical questions the next time you ask to borrow my history notes."
"I can't believe you don't believe me."
"Believe it."
By now, Wormtail was swaying dangerously.
"Fine. Here, I'll show you."
Remus quickly brought his hands up to cover his eyes.
"Oomph!"
"Wormtail, I'm so sorry."
"Oi. Did you feel the ground move when he fell?"
Remus gave him a stern look.
But Harry silently agreed with his Godfather-to-be. No matter how nice they could've been to Wormtail, he still betrayed them in the end. He deserved it.
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He couldn't find anything! Nothing in this bloody room had anything to do with wards. He was debating whether or not to ask Dumbledore about it. But then he'd get suspicious. And he'd ask questions. He still didn't know Occlumency. He mentally added Occlumency to 'the list' of things to do.
Going to Dumbledore was definitely not a good idea.
Wards! Breaking down Wards!
But not matter what he yelled inside his mind, the room refused to change. He wondered if it possible for a magical room to malfunction.
Harry shook his head and made his way to the door. Lily would want to tell him what happened on her date and he secretly wanted to know.
He shook his head again and blinked several times, but the outline of the room remained blurry. The walls shuddered and the floor moved. Harry started to run to the door, if this place was going to go crazy again, he was definitely not going to be here for it.
'Just a few feet more to the door, just a little while longer…"
But the moving floor was pulling him away from his escape. Then he heard the yelling, the desperate screaming. It was familiar, he realized, but thankfully it wasn't his mother's. It was a boy's or a young man's voice, a tortured sound. A chill ran up his spine. The boy sounded like he was in the deepest pain, beyond imagining.
He needed to get out, needed to leave. He didn't want to see where this was going. He wanted to leave the room alone to its convulsions. With a start, he noticed that the room really was convulsing, shuddering and fading in and out of his sight.
The screaming grew louder and louder until it was at a high pitch, burning his ears, and tearing at his body. To his horror, an image was slowly being put together in front of him, the rest of the room fading into a blur. His breath caught in his throat and he lost his footing on the roller-coasting floor.
He yelled, the sound painful and full of self-loathing. And he suddenly realized the agonizing screams in the background were him, screaming after Sirius, begging him to come back through the veil.
Harry brought his tormented eyes up and faced what had haunted his dreams for months. He stared right back at the silent, undisrupted veil standing in all its glory before him.
He was suddenly filled with rage. A pulsing, black hatred ran through his veins. How dare this thing take away what he needed most. How dare it take away another loved one.
If it was the last thing he did, he was going to destroy this veil and while doing it, pretend that it's the same evil thing that took his Godfather from him.
He asked the room to grant him something that would hurt the veil. And to his surprise, it gave him a sledge hammer.
Harry ran, screaming like a banshee, completely aware of how ridiculous he looked and how utterly pointless this was. But he wanted revenge in any form he could take, and take it, he would.
Just as he reached the steps, the fluttering curtain parted, fingers gripping its edge. Harry raised his hammer higher and took out his wand. Whoever it was, was going to go down with it, monstrous thing that the veil was.
But as the figure made its way through, Harry's fight left him. The wand and hammer fell from limp fingers and their former holder sucked in a breath.
He choked, "Sirius?"
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His once handsome face, now gaunt, broke into a large grin as Sirius Black made his way forward to embrace his Godson.
"Harry." He breathed as his arms reached for the raven haired teenager.
His mind felt sluggish, everything around him seemed to be moving differently, as if they were just minor place settings in the background. He shook his head, trying to get a coherent thought through it. And then shuddered when he realized he couldn't.
A slow, burning anger was rising in him, growing faster by the moment. He suddenly drew his wand, feeling the anger, the hatred flowing to the top, ready to spill over. "Not a step closer!" He shouted, barely stopping himself from cursing the Death Eater. The imposter froze mid-step and looked at him.
"Harry-"
"What kind of sick joke is this?!" 'Sirius' shook his head and opened his mouth again.
"No, never mind. I know what this is. I don't know how you did this, but I swear to you, you will regret it!" He hissed and moved so that the tip of his wand was pressed against the slightly taller man's throat.
"Are you going to let me explain or not?"
"I don't give a damn about explanations!" He snarled.
The man suddenly spun around, pinning Harry against him, and taking the teenager's wand. Leaving Harry confused and gasping for air.
"It's me, damn it!"
Harry shook his head furiously and struggled. "No - It can't be! Sirius is dead! DEAD! I watched him die! Watched him fall-" His voice broke, "You're lying!"
"What will it take to prove to you it's me?" The imposter said, breathless from his attempts at keeping Harry at bay.
"It was my fault." He whispered as if in a trance. He decided it didn't matter anymore. He was away from everyone that mattered to him, and once he left this place, if he ever left this place, he would never be able to talk to his parents again. People were dying because of him, because of knowing him, meaning something to him. It would be better off for everyone that was close to him if Voldemort finally ended him. The threat against his loved ones would be over. And so would this never ending fight.
He stopped struggling.
"It wasn't your fault. I should've known better than to underestimate Bella." The man said calmly.
Harry hissed, the anger he thought had dissolved, came back viciously. "Don't try to pretend you're him!"
"If I have to stun you and talk for hours to try and convince you, I will."
"I wouldn't believe you."
'Sirius' shoved the boy away from him and handed back his wand, "There. Believe me now? If I wanted to hurt you, I would've done it a long time ago."
"Who said anything about hurting me?" He spat and ran a tired hand over his angry face, "All you have to do is take me to Voldemort."
"And that doesn't classify as hurting you?" 'Sirius' said, raising an eyebrow.
"Not technically."
The man frowned and paused. After a moment, he smiled a ridiculous smile, making him look slightly wild.
"Animagus!"
Harry jumped at his sudden outburst, "What did you say?"
"An Animagus form can't be copied!"
"And how would that help you?"
"Harry, think about it! My form - Your Godfather's form - was a grim. If I transform…"
Harry's mind spun into overdrive. This was either a nightmare about to become one hell of a good dream or this was some sick, cruel joke and he was about to be taken to Voldemort - again.
But the man had other plans than to let Harry finish his question. With a pop, the tall, dark haired man in front of Harry disappeared and in his place sat a huge, black dog.
Harry stood shocked for a moment, vaguely wondering if Voldemort and his Death Eaters had found a way to replicate Animagus forms.
He refused to fall for this rouge, not wanting to be hurt again. But he could feel his resolve breaking as he watched the Grim like dog wag his tail and jump on his hind legs, barking like mad.
Harry looked into the familiar grey eyes, "Snuffles?" He whispered, afraid that saying it too loud would shatter this all too real dream.
The dog barked, padded his way toward Harry and stopped under his hand. He slowly sat down and the dog followed. Harry ran his hands over his back, and behind the ears.
After a while, he stopped.
"How…?" He asked, still dazed.
Sirius turned back into his human self and looked at Harry before beginning. "I fought them, at first. With everything I had in me." Harry gave him an odd look, and he quickly explained himself. "You heard the voices, coming from the veil?" When Harry nodded, he continued. "They aren't people, not exactly. But they're not spirits, either. Something in-between. I'm not even sure if they had actual bodies.
"But they did have hands, probing fingers that kept pulling me back, away from the Veil's entrance. You were screaming." He whispered, reaching over to rumple Harry's hair, needing to make sure he was still there, still real. "And I was yelling, begging you to stay, to wait for me to come through. I was trying, so hard, just to grasp the edge. I knew once I did that, I could pull myself through. I remember you running after Bella and Remus looking defeated and miserable. I felt guilty that I had left you alone again, both of you.
"After that, nothing really happened. Except for me constantly talking, yelling, doing anything to annoy whatever was there listening. And I knew they were listening. I told them that you needed me, that Remus needed me, and that they couldn't keep me there, since I wasn't technically dead."
Sirius smiled darkly. "They finally ended up kicking me out for annoying the hell out of them."
Harry nodded, he had no doubt that Sirius could annoy what could've been magic itself enough into getting what he wanted. The thought almost made him smile.
"I felt so…empty. There was no noise except for me talking, even the sound of my breathing was muffled. There was nothing. I had to constantly fight the mind numbing cold, I had to remember that I had something worth coming back to."
"You wanted to come back? But what about my parents?" Harry asked, feeling as though Sirius had had something very important to him ripped away.
Sirius looked at him again, "You needed me more."
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"Do you think we should be doing this, Padfoot?" James asked, warily watching Sirius wave his wand around Nelson's trunk.
"Yeah," He threw James a look, "We have to take down whatever wards he has before we try opening it."
James shook his head, "That's not what I meant. Maybe we should just drop this."
"You've been listening to Moony again, haven't you?"
"It has nothing to do with that, Wormtail, who knows what else he might've added."
"We been watching it for weeks." Sirius explained, jabbing the tip of his wand on the trunk's lid. "See, nothing happened."
James didn't look convinced. Peter moved toward him, giving him his wand. "Nelson probably figured that we wouldn't try again after what happened last time-"
"Because we shouldn't be trying it again."
Peter scowled, "-So we have nothing to worry about."
"Fine." James mumbled and moved closer to Sirius.
"Ready, Prongs?"
"As Ready as I'll ever be." He mumbled again.
With his eyes closed and holding his breath, he reached to open the lid. He was waiting for high pitched hissing, but it never came. The only sound was the creek of the lid opening.
"You did it!" Sirius whispered triumphantly as he moved his hand to pick up the first item.
"No! You don't know if it will react to you!"
"Right." Sirius nodded and motioned for James to continue.
He grabbed the first thing, a pile of books tied together and set it aside. "There's nothing interesting in here. It's all school stuff."
"Keep looking." Peter encouraged earnestly, "People with nothing to hide don't ward their trunks."
He had taken out random things, anything from quills to dirty socks. And then he came across a broom.
"Firebolt? I've never heard of it."
"Me either, sounds fast, though."
"We should try it out!"
"No, Padfoot, are you crazy?!"
"At least think about it?"
"No."
"Please-"
"Hey! Go back to looking!" Peter yelled, tired of them getting distracted.
Next came robes, and James neatly tossed them aside, not noticing the old, crinkled piece of paper that fell to the floor.
"Wait, Prongs, what is that?" Peter asked, pointing to the paper.
"What's what - oh, it looks like the-"
"-Marauder's Map!" Sirius exclaimed.
"It's not that old, though. And why would Nelson have it? He doesn't even know how to use it!"
Sirius picked it up, eyeing it closely. Tapping his wand to the old piece of parchment, he whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." And watched as the thin ink lines spread throughout the page and formed the familiar words Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs.
James blinked, and looked at the other two whose faces reflected the confusion he felt. "What is this?"
"Well, it's obvious what it is. But how did it get so old?" Peter asked, looking as confused as the other two felt.
"Something's not right here." Sirius said, eyes wandering across the map in disbelief.
"Of course not! Its old looking and Nelson had it!" James yelled, furious that someone would actually steal their map.
"No, that's not what I meant. Look at this!" Peter and James moved closer, looking where Sirius was pointing.
"I don't-"
"-Look!"
There, written in green letters, was a fast moving dot labeled Harry Potter and beside it, a dot moving equally as fast, Sirius Black.
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"I think you should be the new Defense Professor." Harry said, trying to convince his Godfather into staying around the ancient school.
"You already have a Defense professor, Harry, you don't need another one."
"Yeah, but she's rubbish and I doubt she would turn down the opportunity to be able to leave."
Sirius sighed before picking up his pace.
"At least talk to Dumbledore? Please?"
"Don't look at me like that! It's not fare!" He exclaimed, looking away from Harry's big, emerald green eyes.
"But-"
"I said I would think about it. And I guess it wouldn't hurt to talk to Dumbledore. He at least might know what I could do."
Harry scowled, "But you know what you can do!"
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"But I'm right here! I can't be in two places at once! It's not working! The map must be broken."
"The map never lies, Padfoot, you know that."
"They're going to Dumbledore's office." Peter said, gesturing towards the door, "Should we follow them?"
"Is it just me, or do you have a bad feeling about this, too?" Sirius asked, looking back at the map.
"It's three against two. I think we'll be fine." Peter nodded aggressively, agreeing with James.
"You're not the one who's going to see yourself."
"It might not be-"
"You just said that the map never lies!"
James looked away sheepishly.
Peter was anxiously watching the two dots grow closer, moving faster with each step. He was fascinated by the two names and the green letters they were written in…
They were closer, just around the corner-
"James!" He whispered.
"What?"
Peter quickly pointed at the map. James nodded curtly and poked Sirius.
"Ready?"
Bracing themselves and gripping their wands tighter, they turned the corner together and met face to face with Nelson and a man with a strange alikeness to Sirius.
The stranger gasped and went pale, "James?"
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Favorite book and why?