I didn't even know what I felt for Leah.
She was beautiful in every aspect of the word and a guy doesn't come across too many like her. She was the type of girl who walks down the street and all the guys look her way as she struts with confidence. She's the girl who other girls kill to be. She was the reason girls got plastic surgery, hair extensions and everything else; so they can be as beautiful as her. She's the ride or die girlfriend any guy could hope for.
I wanted something serious. I didn't know if I honestly wanted to commit for life but I knew I wanted her to be my better half. I wanted guys green with envy when they see us. I wanted her to be known as Jacob's girl. No one elses so don't touch.
I think we were kinda cute together. She was just a little bit shorter then me and our skin matched almost perfectly. She was just exotic and different. I wanted to show her off and have her as my own. I wanted to hold her like I held Nessie and fuck her like I did Rosalie. I wanted so much but did so little to get it.
If I was serious about Leah, I had to get serious about myself.
No. More. Sex.
That means no more cuddling and being all freaky with all the other girls no matter how fucking badly I wanted to.
I sigh and continue to watch Leah sashes' around the stage while singing like she didn't even need air. Her whole essence in this performance reminded me of a white song bird. A white song bird that would tell the world its tale. A white song bird that was so gentle and fragile. Why would I wanna hurt that songbird?
I didn't. I wanted to make her mine.
It wasn't like I was addicted to sex though. Yes, it felt good-amazing actually- but it was just wrong of me to be this way.
I wondered if Rosalie knew about Nessie and I before last night? Had Rosalie told the other girls about last night? What if Leah knew? I'd probably die of I don't what emotion but I'd die.
Dark and lonely.
I need somebody to hold me.
He will do very well.
I can tell, I can tell.
Keep me safe in his spell.
Tower hotel.
If my imagination did me right, I could swear those lyrics could be about me. It's wrong to assume but I wanted them to be. After the show, I'd find the balls to ask her about it. Till then, I was sitting in the audience watching Leah act as a star on the American flag.
I'm your national anthem.
Boy, put your hands up.
Give me a standing oh-vay-shee-un.
Boy you have landed, babe in the land of
Sweetness and danger
Queen of Saigon...
Leah was like someone I've never met before. It was like mixed signals with her. One day, she'll kiss me and look at me like she wants me. The next, she gives me death glares. I didn't know if it was cus of Rosalie but why would Leah care about what I did with her? They're friends.
Unless...
Maybe she was jealous.
It was a long shot but it was possible.
They finished the song on a sweet note with fireworks going off and the troops up out their seats, cheering. I stoop to cheer to, hoping to catch Leah's attention just so she'd look at me again.
She didn't.
Man, she must be pissed.
The curtains close after about five minutes of clapping until they open back up again and the girls are on the other side, wearing normal clothes now-well as normal as The Queens dressed anyway.
They bow once before hopping off the stage to take pictures and converse. Alice and Jasper were much too wrapped up in themselves to make sense of anyone else there.
In the midst of all the commotion, I search for Leah in hopes that we can talk. I really wanted to get these "feelings" off my chest. Maybe she'd feel the same way. You never know till you try. I guess I'd rather regret something I did then regret not knowing.
My thoughts are suddenly cut short when a warm pair of hands wrap around my arm from behind. I try to turn, expecting to see Rosalie but it's Leah.
"You wanna go somewhere?" she asks, taking me by complete surprise.
"Um...where?"
She shrugs and doesn't let my arm go. "Anywhere."
She swirls around me and leads me out of the ballroom. I look back for a quick moment to see Carlisle watching us with a look of great suspicion but an equal amount of confusion.
She was humming to herself as we stroll hand in hand up to the elevator and up to her suite.
"You don't mind if I change into something real quick, do you?" she asks and heads to her bedroom anyway.
"No," I say and try gathering my thoughts.
"I figured since we had such a good night yesterday, we could have another tonight," she rounds the corner of her room and a light flicks on.
Hmmm. So she thought about it too.
"Yeah? I kinda thought you were mad at me."
She was silent for a second. "I'm not."
I wanted to say: "Then why did you stare at me like you hate me?" but her head popped back around the corner and smiled.
"Jake, you don't have to wait out there. It's nothing you haven't seen before."
The devil was after me. It was me, her, and a fucking bed alone in a hotel room and I had to will myself not to do what I wanted to so badly.
I'm not that guy. I'm not that guy. I'm a gentlemen.
I stroll into the bedroom and my eyes are met with Leah in her underwear and bra, squatting on the floor, searching through her suitcase. All I had to do was toss her on the bed and-
"So where's this anywhere you wanna go to?" I take a seat on the edge of the bed closest to her.
She shrugs. "I don't know. I just wanna do something fun before we leave." She pulls out a shirt and holds it to her torso then tosses it back into the suitcase.
"Oh," I say.
She puts another shirt to her chest then tries it on. The shirt fits nicely around her taut torso as she models it in the closet mirror.
"How does it look?"
"Sexy," I say, honestly.
She gets off the ground and stands in front of me, my eyes meeting her belly button first before scaling upward. She runs her fingers through my hair, that was reaching down my neck now.
"You're so fucking cute," she says.
My eye go wide and I gulp when she dips in front of me to meet her lips to mine. She settles into my lap and presses into my body with hers.
Theres a desperate cling in her hold on my shirt's collar. It's electric how she rubs her lips over mine and forces her taste on me. I enjoy as she moves her head at different angles to get as much of me as possible.
We topple over and her center lands over my growing hard on. I resist her for a second till her kisses grew more intense.
C'mon, Jacob. Remember what you promised yourself.
No. More. Sex.
Not even if the sex was gonna take you to the moon and back.
When she begins to fondle with my belt, I brought myself back to sense. This wasn't Rosalie, my fuck buddy. This was Leah. It's different with her. I felt like I'd be taking advantage.
"Leah...no," I object between kisses.
She stops but stays on my chest, staring at me with her eyebrows scrunched and mouth a gap in confusion.
"What?"
"I don't think I can do this."
She blinks and rises from me. "You're serious?"
I nod.
She removes herself from atop of me and sits on the edge of the bed, confusion clear on her face. "Why?"
I sit back up and fix my shirt. It's cus we weren't supposed to and one of us would get hurt when I go back and fuck around with Rosalie. It wasn't right.
"The rule."
She scoffs and shakes her head. "Bullshit. What's the real reason?"
I sigh. "I just can't."
She bounces off the bed to face me. "Oh, but you would with Rosalie?"
"Why'r you comparing yourself to her?"
She crosses her arms. "Do you like her?"
"Do I like her? Well, yeah. She's pretty and fun and..." I trail off when she begins to frown. "She's my friend. Why do you ask?"
She turn towards the mirror and began fixing the shirt. "Last time I check, you don't finger fuck your friends."
I snicker. "Are you jealous?"
Her face flashes anger when she swirls back around to look at me. "Jealous? Of her? You're fucking kidding me right?"
"Then why do you care so much?"
"I don't! I'm just looking out for my friends."
"Has she said anything about it? Why'r you getting so worked up about Rosalie for?"
She taps her foot. "I'm not. Just..."
She crosses her arms and looks to the ground in shame. "Why can you mess around with Rosalie but not me? I mean I know she's pretty and stuff but aren't I? I mean...I thought you kinda liked me."
Um, no. I fucking love you.
I began to caress her arms in comfort. "I do...alot," I confess. "But it's different with you."
"How?"
"Cus I don't think of you as a little fuck around buddy who's always as horny as me. If I were to have sex with you, I'd have to give you more. A r-r-relationship."
I stuttered over the fact that I sounded like a broken record spouting this bullshit to these girls.
I meant it this time. I can't have sex with Leah. I want to so fucking badly but I had to resist her. As badly as I wanted to run my fingers over ever curve, kiss her temple as I lean over her from behind, tug at her shiny, raven colored hair and do so much more, I knew I couldn't. I shouldn't.
She wanted it too but goddamnit, I couldn't. She wasn't even my girlfriend and I knew I couldn't be faithful to her. Not with all these temptations anyway.
"A relationship," she repeated. "Haven't been in one of those for a while."
She steps closer and fills in the space between us. "So you like me?"
I nod. "A lot."
"Well..." she says and picks at a freckle on my arm. "Thanks."
She suddenly went shy. Did she just say thanks?
"Um, you're welcome."
She shrugs.
I put a lock of hair behind her ear. "So what are you gonna do about it?"
She just shakes her head and leans into me. "I don't know."
Great.
Before I could respond, the suite door clicks open and she gives me a look before letting me go to see who strolled in. I follow.
"Aw, did we interrupt something?" Bella teases while the five of them file into the room and take a seat in front of the TV.
Leah plays in her hair while keeping the eye contact with me. "Actually no. Jake and I were just about to leave."
Rosalie whips her head around in shock. "You guys are going out again?"
Leah nods and has created a braid in Bella's hair. "Yup."
"Where?"
She winks at me. "Just out."
I grin sheepishly while Rosalie grimaces and the other five exchange whispers of tonight's possible events. This didn't play out how I hoped. I tell her I like her and she says thanks. At least she knows now.
It's was better then nothing.
I shouldn't expect her to like me back given I'm slowly fucking my way through her friends.
I wasn't gonna lie.
We ended up having a great night.
Leah was recognized as Leah Larusso in the streets by various tourist and after a while we played along with it. It was wrong impersonating a rockstar and getting people to believe they'd met their favorite celebrity but the temptation was hard.
We spent the hours trolling, crashing weddings, frolicking on the beach, eating, dancing, etc. At about three in the morning, we took our making out back to the hotel room and kept it under just enough control to stop when needed. Waking up in her bed fully clothed made me feel proud in some sorts and I realized I wasn't a complete animal.
The digital clock read two PM when we awoke which meant we had about an hour till our flight back to Washington. As much as I didn't want to, I had to pack my suitcase. Carlisle was up and gathering his belongings when I returned.
"Where you been all night?" he questioned me when I went to brush my teeth.
I let the water run over my toothbrush. "I went out with Leah and we fell asleep in her suite."
"You went out with Leah again?"
Why did he sound so surprised? "Yeah."
"Hmph," he carefully places his watches in the suitcase. "Seems like she's finally come around, huh?"
You have no idea. "Yeah."
He sighs. "You do remember the rule though?"
"Yes, Carlisle. I know. It was just a date, nothing more."
He was silent for a few seconds. "I mean it, Jacob. Temptation's a bitch."
Don't I know it. "I've been on my best behavior."
"It's not you I'm worried about."
That made me chuckle. He knew his girls but he didn't know his girls.
After packing my toothbrush and paste, I gathered the rest of my things in the single suitcase I packed and thought about going back to Leah's room. It probably wasn't the best decision since Carlisle was still talking to be about the girls and how he tries to take as much care of them as possible and how they're all he has. Listening to him, I felt bad at how I treated them so disrespectfully. Or at least I thought I did.
The drive to the airport wasn't as awkward as the first one. Mainly cus there was more room this time and instead of in my lap, Leah was sitting beside me with her fingers looped around mine and her head on my shoulder. Bella, the twins and Nessie were discussing when Alice would see Jasper again while Rosalie had her jaw clenched as she stares out the window with her black sunglasses on. She's wrapped up in a blanket that she took from the plane on our flight here and after a while, she pulled the blanket over her head.
Jeez, what was wrong with her?
On the plane, I wanted to question her about it but she had fallen asleep before I could. I didn't want her to be mad at me. I had to wonder for seven hours till we got off the plane and she ignored me all together.
Well, alright then.
"Home sweet fucking home," Bella cheers when they enter back into their own bedroom. "Aw, I've missed you, Marilyn."
The mural continues to smile back at them.
Whilst unpacking their clothes and accessories, Leah guides me to her bed and pulls out a white hoodie jacket with black print all over it. She hands it to me and smiles.
"This is yours."
I take note of its larger size and recognize it. This is the jacket I gave her on the plane. "Um, thanks."
"I meant to give it to you yesterday but um. . .it smelled really good so. . ."
I take it from her but give it right back. "Keep it."
"Really? Why?"
I take it back again and unzip it to put it over her shoulders. "Cus it looks good on you."
She blushes. "Thanks," her fingers begin to loop mine but instantly pull away when we hear Rosalie's loud groan in annoyance from across the room.