"Ethics"
Recommended Playlist: SERIOUS (REPRISE)
EXT. MASSACHUSETTS AVENUE - BROWNSTONE - NIGHT
Light, classical music floats into the street. Several
couples in black tie apparel walk up and enter the house.
EMMETT approaches, in sharp contrast, dressed in his jeans
and sweatshirt and carrying his courier bag. Following
behind him in a silent, solemn-faced line is his PEER JURY.
Emmett puts a foot on the first step before reconsidering.
He turns to the Jury.
EMMETT
Guys, I really just want to go in
here and get the job done. I don't
want to get distracted by--
MICK
But we've been quiet.
DANNY
Yeah, give us a little credit.
JOEY
We haven't said one word about how
you've got the hots for Elle.
Emmett, Mick and Danny all turn their glares Joey.
JOEY
Oops.
EMMETT
Just... wait out here, okay?
MICK
Yeah. All right. Fine.
Emmett nods and turns to the house.
MICK
But, uh, you know we're just a
manifestation of your subconscious
thoughts, right? You can leave us
out here now, but if your thoughts
start to wander back to--
Emmett turns back, glaring at Mick. Mick puts his hands up
in a defensive pose and takes a step back.
MICK
So we'll be staying outside then.
Emmett nods once then walks up the steps. The guys take
seats on the steps and stoop. Other people enter the party,
but, of course, take no notice of the fellas.
MICK
Uh oh.
The guys follow Mick's line of sight across the stage as JAN
walks up to the brownstone wearing a dark green, flowy
dress. She looks hot. She enters the house.
DANNY
We should warn Emmett. She looks
smokin' in that dress. If he sees
her like that, he might--
JOEY
Forget Jan. Check this out.
The entire Peer Jury follows Joey's gaze.
Elle walks down the street wearing her Playboy Bunny
costume. The Greek Chorus trails along behind her, giggling,
skipping and generally buzzing happily.
Elle glances up at house numbers as she walks.
The Peer Jury stares openly at Elle and her invisible girls.
Elle, of course, doesn't notice them, but the Greek Chorus
does. Some wave, others smile flirtatiously.
Margo starts to walk over to them, but Pilar grabs her and
pulls her along with the rest of the girls.
SERENA
Remember, if Elle wants Warner then
we want Warner.
Margo nods, but looks back over her shoulder and catches
eyes with Joey. He gives her a sideways grin and wink. Margo
giggles and waves back to Joey. Serena groans as Pilar drags
Margo along and off into the wings with Elle.
The lights go down as the set is turned around with an open
party area to the right and a separated study set to the left.
At the party, Callahan floats from group to group, engaging
in lively conversation. He pauses briefly to speak with Jan,
giving her a quick peck on the cheek before moving on to
another group. Jan watches him for a moment before starting
a conversation with a middle-aged couple.
In the study, Emmett sorts files into various boxes. He
tosses one into a nearly full box then throws himself down
into the leather rolling chair situated near a large, wooden
desk. He puts his head in his hand, glancing around at all
the work still to be done.
An older woman, PROFESSOR STROMWELL, enters the study. She
is well-dressed and classy. She smiles when she sees Emmett.
He glances up and jumps up when he sees her.
EMMETT
Professor Stromwell?
STROMWELL
Emmett. Callahan told me he had you
slaving away in here.
Emmett shrugs sheepishly.
STROMWELL
What'd you do to piss him off?
Emmett closes his eyes, tilting his head back.
EMMETT
It's a long--
STROMWELL
Good. The longer I stay away from
those Harvard stuffed shirts, the
better. And you know how I love a
good "Callahan's Insane" story.
Emmett smiles, hesitating. Stromwell picks up a few files
and sorts them into various boxes. She looks up at Emmett.
STROMWELL
Well?
EMMETT
Okay...
Emmett and Stromwell sort and talk.
EMMETT
There's this girl--
STROMWELL
This is getting good already.
EMMETT
(ignoring)
There's this girl in Callahan's
class. Well, she's sort of in the
class.
STROMWELL
Is she auditing?
EMMETT
She gets kicked out every day and I
maybe suggested to Callahan that...
this wasn't the best way to teach.
Stromwell lets out a hardy laugh.
STROMWELL
Oh, dear. I imagine he didn't take
that very well at all.
Emmett glances around the room then gives an over-exaggerated
shrug. He and Stromwell trade a conspiratorial smile.
STROMWELL
Who is this student, by the way?
Maybe I have her in one of my Intro
to Ethics classes.
Emmett hesitates. Stromwell arches a brow.
EMMETT
Her name is Elle.
STROMWELL
Elle? Elle Woods?
Emmett nods, smiling without meaning to. Stromwell laughs,
but in a delighted way.
EMMETT
What?
STROMWELL
Elle gets kicked out of Callahan's
class daily? I guess that doesn't
surprise me. I'd love to know how
she would have answered his
infamous puppy question.
Emmett chuckles.
EMMETT
She didn't have the chance. She
hadn't done the assigned reading so
he asked her to leave.
STROMWELL
Hm. I don't think she does my
readings either, but she doesn't
need to. Elle Woods is a natural.
Emmett thinks it over, but doesn't get it.
STROMWELL
She knows the difference between
right and wrong. I can't stump her.
Trust me, I've tried. Then she
gives me this line of logic that
sounds like it's going to make no
sense whatsoever... until it all
comes together in a beautiful
symphony of justice, morality,
humanity and, on occasion, hair
care or fitness.
Emmett chuckles.
EMMETT
Yes. That sounds like Elle Woods.
Stromwell looks at him with a gleam in her eye.
STROMWELL
I haven't had a student with a
better sense of right and wrong
since...
She looks at Emmett nodding toward him slightly.
EMMETT
You know, to be honest, I always
thought your class was...
STROMWELL
Easy?
Emmett nods uncertainly.
STROMWELL
You'd be surprised how difficult it
is for many students. Believe it or
not, Emmett, most people go about
their lives without ever really
considering if what they're doing
is right, wrong, ethical or
otherwise. My scenarios completely
baffle them. Really, it's a sad
statement about society.
Emmett ponders her words.
STROMWELL
But students like you and Elle...
you're like a breath of fresh air.
Emmett ponders that one with a satisfied smile. Stromwell's
own smile turns slightly mischievously.
STROMWELL
You want a little ethics scenario
challenge? You know, make sure
you're not out of practice after
working with Callahan. Keep you on
your toes.
EMMETT
(uncertain)
Sure...
STROMWELL
Okay. Here goes: T.A. at Harvard
Law School. A student in one of his
classes is struggling and often
seems more interested in her hair
than in her law courses. But the
T.A., he sees past the surface and
straight through to her very real
potential. He knows he can help
her, but he hesitates partly
because he wants to focus on
impressing the professor and
advancing his career, but more
because he has this inclination
that offering to help someone he
finds so utterly appealing may be
unethical. Should he help the girl?
Emmett is speechless. Stromwell raises her eyebrows. A long
moment passes before Emmett finally musters up some words.
EMMETT
Um, Professor... I...
But that's all he's got.
STROMWELL
You're stumped, aren't you?
Emmett opens his mouth, but closes it again..
STROMWELL
It's a challenging one, I admit.
The slightest of beats passes.
STROMWELL
You know, you were always one of my
favorite first-year advisees.
Emmett narrows his eyes.
STROMWELL
But I think you forgot what I told
you about Callahan after you were
thrown out of his class.
EMMETT
No. I haven't forgotten.
Stromwell raises her eyebrows.
EMMETT
"You don't actually have to be a
shark... you just have to think
like one."
STROMWELL
Well, likewise, apply that lesson
here. You don't have to agree with
Callahan. Just make him think you
do. Then go behind his back and do
something to help this poor girl.
Tutoring, perhaps? Teach her to
think like a shark without actually
being one.
Emmett considers.
EMMETT
My former ethics professor is
telling me to--
STROMWELL
Outsmart the shark... with
integrity, commitment and just a
little bit of his own medicine.
Emmett smiles. A beat.
STROMWELL
And, while it is never appropriate
for a professor to make romantic
advances toward a student...
Emmett rolls his eyes.
EMMETT
I don't plan on--
STROMWELL
A T.A. is afforded a little more
moral leeway. Particularly when he
is just a few years older than the
student for whom he pines.
EMMETT
P-pines? Professor. Please. I
assure you, my interest in Elle is
purely--
STROMWELL
I can see exactly what your
interest in Elle is, Emmett. The
question is... when will you?
She looks at him meaningfully. A beat as they both glance
around at the now organized office: all the files have been
sorted into the appropriate boxes.
STROMWELL
Now that we've got this all sorted
out, maybe you should come out to
the party. Never hurts to network.
Emmett looks hesitant.
EMMETT
I'm not exactly dressed for--
They are interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Jan
stands hesitantly in the doorway. Stromwell looks at her
critically.
Emmett is taken aback by her presence and her appearance.
JAN
Excuse me, Professor. I was hoping
for a moment of Emmett's time.
Stromwell looks at Emmett questioningly. He takes a deep
breath, but then gives a nod. She gives him an encouraging
smile then exits. When she is gone:
JAN
How can you stand that woman?
EMMETT
I think she's great. My favorite
Harvard faculty member. Bar none.
JAN
Ugh. I almost flunked her class,
you know. If I hadn't found someone
selling her final on the internet--
EMMETT
You cheated on your ethics final?
Jan shrugs.
EMMETT
And you don't find that ironic?
Jan thinks about it then laughs.
JAN
Leave it to you to see the bigger
picture, Emmett.
They look at each other for a long moment.
JAN
I tried to call you a few times.
Left a few messages, too.
Emmett nods, placing a hand in his pocket. Jan walks over to
him. She gets close and looks at him coyly. He swallows.
EMMETT
You look really nice tonight.
JAN
(feigning humility)
Oh, thanks.
EMMETT
Wish I could have seen you in
something like this when we were
still together.
JAN
Why? It's not like you ever took me
anywhere anyway.
EMMETT
And that ended up being the
problem, didn't it?
Jan's look turns apologetic.
EMMETT
Then again, I guess you never
asked.
JAN
Which is quickly becoming one of
the greatest regrets of my life.
Emmett narrows his eyes. A beat.
JAN
I can't believe you're here.
EMMETT
Callahan had me sorting some--
JAN
No. I mean I can't believe you're
here... at Harvard. Still. I never
would have guessed it.
She puts a hand on his chest. He swallows.
JAN
I thought you'd be at the public
defender's office or back in
Roxbury doing pro bono consults...
Emmett tilts his head down, almost guiltily.
JAN
Do you ever miss the old days?
Emmett looks back into her eyes.
JAN
Do you ever miss the old us?
He looks away again.
EMMETT
Do you even remember the old us?
JAN
Do you?
He looks back at her and nods then takes a step away.
EMMETT
(singing)
Late night study sessions. We said
we'd save the world.
Jan closes the distance between them again.
JAN
(singing)
Your sweet love confessions.
Romantic intents unfurled.
EMMETT
We were crusaders then. Planned to
fight for common men. Some days I
wish it were that way again.
JAN
Dreams don't just disappear. They
just get suspended by fear. That's
why I'm here.
Emmett's jaw drops.
JAN
Just listen.
Emmett closes his mouth, but looks very uncertain.
JAN
You've got your future all planned.
EMMETT
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
JAN
What if I'm standing there, too?
EMMETT
Wait, I'm not following you.
JAN
I'm here 'cause I understand...
EMMETT
Not sure I understand.
JAN
I'm here 'cause I'm serious.
EMMETT
Whoa. All of a sudden you're
serious? Seriously?
JAN
Emmett. I went off. I had my
adventures. But now I'm back at
Harvard... because I want to be a
lawyer. Like you. Callahan pulled a
few strings to get me enrolled in
the spring semester. Then I can
take the bar exam in July like you
did. You could even help me
study... and prepare for the bar.
EMMETT
Whoa, wait a second. You're here
because... you want a tutor?
JAN
I'm here because I want--
The door opens and Callahan enters. Emmett looks at Jan
with raised eyebrows, but she shakes her head.
CALLAHAN
(to Jan)
There you are.
Jan gives Emmett an apologetic look then turns to Callahan.
JAN
(flirtatious)
And there you are.
Callahan looks her up and down unabashedly. Emmett clears
his throat. Callahan glances over at him then looks around
the room.
CALLAHAN
Damn, Emmett. Done already?
EMMETT
Professor Stromwell helped.
CALLAHAN
Oh, that woman irks me.
JAN
Me, too.
Callahan's eyes drift to Jan again.
EMMETT
Probably her vast moral
superiority.
Callahan twists his mouth, displeased with the comment.
JAN
Exactly. It's like she thinks she's
better than everyone else.
Callahan chuckles at Jan's misunderstanding then gives
Emmett his devilish smile-smirk.
CALLAHAN
Had I known you'd finish so
quickly, I would have told you to
dress for the party.
Emmett stays deadpan.
CALLAHAN
Then again, seeing that ratty
corduroy jacket once today was
quite enough so maybe I'm glad you
didn't "dress up," after all.
Emmett picks up his sweatshirt from Callahan's desk and ties
it around his waist. He picks up his bag from the floor.
He meets eyes with Jan. Her smile is still apologetic.
Emmett shakes his head and walks to the door.
CALLAHAN
Hang on.
Emmett pauses and turns to Callahan.
CALLAHAN
I hope you've learned from this
experience that, as your boss, I am
always right and I will always win
so... don't challenge me. Okay?
Emmett erases his scowl and puts on a smile. Jan looks back
and forth between the two men.
EMMETT
(well-feigned sincerity)
Yes, sir. Lesson learned. And,
trust me, I'll approach things
differently in the future.
Jan looks skeptical, but Callahan smirks, appeased.
CALLAHAN
Good. And thank you.
Emmett raises his eyebrows.
CALLAHAN
I appreciate both your hard work
and your humility. Neither have
gone overlooked here tonight.
Emmett nods, glances once more at Jan then places his hand
on the door knob.
CALLAHAN
And Emmett?
Emmett looks back at him over his shoulder. Callahan is
already on the move toward Jan.
CALLAHAN
Lock the door on your way out.
Emmett opens the door and takes a deep breath. He twists the
lock on the door then closes it behind him. Outside the
door, he leans his head back against it.
Inside the study, Callahan is all over Jan who is receptive
to his advances. She giggles loudly as he kisses her neck.
Outside, Emmett looks back at the door then shakes his head.
He walks away with his head hanging as the lights go down.
Fade to black.