Denying Fortune's Fool

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, just the story!

A/N: Here we go. I really don't have anything to say before hand.

Yuna's POV

I don't know exactly what came over me. I had never thought of myself as a performer. Yet...here I was in this 'Songstress Dressphere', dancing away. I never missed a beat, my dancing was perfect, and it was like I'd sung this song a million times.

As I was finishing out the last few words of the song, our eyes met. He was here. Tidus was standing a few feet from the stage, and we were staring at each other. Nothing, not even the things I felt on the Farplane or the gauntlet I had struggled against, could compare to what I was feeling the instant we locked onto each others gaze.

All my emotions poured out in the last few words. Excitement, love, longing...but as the song ended and the lights dimmed, I felt my heart break again. All of Lord Zaon's words flooded me, and I remembered exactly what it was I had to do. Fighting back tears, I gave a final bow and quickly left the stage before he did something like run up and wrap his arms around me.

"That was awesome, Lady Nayu! Did you see the crowd? They loved every second of it!" Elma hyped as I made my way to the dressing room. I wish I could have shared her sentiment.

"Yeah. Um, Elma, where am I staying?" I quickly changed the subject.

"We reserved the suite for you at the Luca Inn. Room 402."

"Thank you. I'm really tired, so I'm just going to retire." I nodded and put on my most convincing smile. Surely that hadn't changed.

"Will you require an escort?" another woman's voice called out from behind me.

I turned to see another familiar face. It was Lucil, commander of the Chocobo Knights. Or at least...she was when I was once a part of Spira.

"No thank you, Lucil. I can manage. I just need to clear my head."

"Very well. Elma and I will check on you in the morning and then we can plan for the next leg of the tour." she bowed as I left the room.

I felt somewhat relieved to finally have time to myself. With everything that's happened, I haven't had time to really face the fact that I was back on Spira. It felt really good, but every time my mind wandered to happiness, I couldn't help but to reflect on what I had to do while I was here. And of course, my mind wandered back to his eyes. I wanted to cry, laugh, scream...and so many other things. Would I be able to pull this off?

Upon reaching the Luca Inn, I managed to actually sigh in relief. Maybe after the emotional roller coaster I had been on, sleep would be the best option. I can think about other things later.

"Excuse me?" I whispered to the desk clerk, "I'm here to pick up my room key for room 402?"

He looked to be a young boy around fifteen. As soon as he looked at me, he froze. After a few seconds, he spoke, "Uh...L-l-lady Nayu...here's y-y-your room k-k-key!"

Was I really that popular? But...how could I be if I've been gone for a year?

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Destry." He squeaked.

"Nice to meet you, Destry. Could I borrow that pen?" I giggled as his hand shook.

He nodded, and I took a slip of paper from the box on the counter. After a minute or two, I handed him the paper and watched as he read it.

'To my biggest fan, Destry. XoXo, Lady Nayu.'

His face turned five shades of red before he finally looked up at me, giving me a boyish smile. I smiled back and waved before turning away. I couldn't help myself, he seemed to nervous. I stifled a giggle as I entered the elevator.

As I looked at the panel, I pressed the button for the fourth floor, and leaned against the railing. I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning my head back on the wall.

"Things can't get any worse than they already are tonight." I whispered.

I was so lost in my thoughts, that I didn't notice someone had slipped into the elevator with me. Maybe because I had my eyes closed so tightly. As the doors opened, I slipped out slowly and began looking for my room. As soon as it came into view, I smiled. I pulled out my room key and stuck it into the door and heard it click. As I reached for the handle, someone called out to me.

"Yuna?"

That voice. Where it once made me flush with desire, it was now causing my blood to run cold. I gripped the handle of my room so hard my knuckles turned white, and my breath was so labored I thought I was going to faint right there on the spot. It was Tidus. I would know it anywhere.

His footsteps echoed through the halls as he shuffled cautiously to me, and I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think. Right now the only people that exsisted were the two of us. I wanted to turn and run into his arms, but I knew I couldn't. If I looked at him, I knew I was going to give myself away. Tears stung my eyes, and my heart thumped against my chest so hard I knew he had to have heard it.

"Yuna, it's me. It's Tidus." he whispered, and for a second I thought his breathing was harder than mine.

I had to think of something, and fast. Inside I was at war with myself. Part of me wanted to just fall into his arms and cry, while the other half of me told me I had to push him away. It was the only way we could be together. My world was closing in on me, and I felt as if I was going to suffocate as I struggled to fill my lungs with much needed oxygen. But the closer he came, the more panicked I became. I have to do this. I have to for us.

"I think you've mistaken me for someone else, Sir." I whispered, trying to compose myself. If I didn't turn around, it will be ok. If I avoid his eyes, I can do this.

"No, I don't think I have. I could never forget you, Yuna." he replied, and I could sense the desperation in his voice.

Tidus, just turn around and leave.

"My name is Nayu," I spoke with reassurance, "I have no idea who this Yuna is."

I tightened my grip on the handle of my room, deciding it was better if I just went inside, but before I could, I felt his hand grip my arm and stop me.

"Yuna," he exhaled, "Look at me."

No...please don't.

I tried to jerk out of his grip, but he spun me around forcefully and placed his hands on my upper arms. It was almost as if he was holding on for dear life. I refused to look up at him, I couldn't.

"Tidus.." I whispered trying to not let it slip off my tongue in a knowing way, "You've gotten me confused with someone else. I'm sorry..."

"No," he cut me off as he brought his finger to my chin lifting my face to his, "It is you, Yuna. You just have to remember. Think back...I know it will come to you!" he pleaded.

Please don't do this to yourself! Just walk away!

And then it happened. I made the worst mistake I could have made. My eyes met his. He pushed me against the hotel door, and planted a deep kiss on my lips. I wanted to fight it, I tried to fight it. My hands broke free and I tried everything I could. I pushed, slapped, and gripped his clothes trying to get him off me. But he was feeling what I wanted to feel, and he was making it quite clear he wasn't giving up so easily. His lips devoured mine, and he deepened the kiss as he slipped his tongue inside my mouth, and my body complied impulsively. It was almost as if he was trying to tell me something with that kiss. Something I already knew, but that I tried so hard to keep subsided. As I started fighting harder with him, he grabbed my hands forcefully and pinned them against the door. My knees went weak, and I felt myself starting to give in to him. What I wanted to happen, and what my body was responding to, were at odds with each other. I had Tidus in my heart and his lips on mine, and I had Lord Zaon in my head. As our kisses lingered, I felt like I was locked in a deadly game of tug-o-war.

Tidus, I have to do this. I have to do this for us!

Once he felt my body start to loosen up, he removed his grip from my hands and cupped my face. This was it, if I didn't do it now, I would never be able to feel his lips against mine again. My arms slowly reached behind my back and felt around. Once I brushed against the handle, I gripped it tightly.

I'm doing this for you, Tidus. I love you. Never forget that.

As a tear slipped down my face, I pulled the handle and fell into the room with the help of his weight. Before he could follow, I slammed the door in his face and locked it. All I could hear was him out in the hall screaming my name. My back slid against the door and I slumped to the floor feeling defeated. He was right outside. The love of my life...was on the other side of that door, and his heart was breaking into a million pieces like mine was. I don't think I have ever felt so low in my entire life. My eyes slammed shut, and I choked back the lump in my throat. If he heard me, he would know, and then it would be all over.

"I know it's you, Yuna." he called out choking back his own tears, "Whether or not you have forgotten me, I will never forget you. I love you. Never forget that."

He lingered there for a few more minutes, and I heard him gradually walk away. I wanted to run to him and kiss all his hurt away. I wanted to tell him I loved him and that I never forgot him. But I couldn't. I was doing this for us. And while it was right, it felt so wrong.

After everything I had been through, and now this...I couldn't help the violent shakes of my shoulders. I brought my fingers to my lips and touched them softly. I fell to the ground and cried the tears I had so desperately fought in the hall and while he stood outside in agony. The empty room around me was nothing more than a silent witness to the tears I shed that night.

Tidus' POV

"Ti! Where have you been?" Rikku ran up to me as I stepped into the airship.

I didn't answer her. I just brushed past her and everyone else that joined her. I didn't want to be around anyone. I wanted to be alone. I headed to the cabin, and slipped into the room, slamming the door forcefully behind me.

"What do you think that was all about?" I heard Rikku whisper outside the door.

"Give him some time. He'll tell us when he's ready." Paine replied softly as their footsteps echoed further away.

I just stood there, not believing what had just happened. It was Yuna, I knew it was. Yet, she rejected me, acted as if she didn't know me. I slumped down on the bed and took my head in my hands, not knowing what to think or how to feel.

Was this some kind of sick joke? The possibility of me being crazy wasn't an option. I thought maybe it had been, but when I made the decison...no it wasn't a decision, it was an impulse to kiss her, I felt her there. She was there. It was her.

"Why would you push me away, Yuna? Has a year a part caused you to grow that cold?" I whispered.

Maybe she doesn't remember me? I don't even know where she's been the past year. And what in the hell was going on in Spira? How could they not know who Yuna is? Why was I all of a sudden the 'High Summoner'? The questions kept building up inside me, but there were no answers to act as a release. To say that I lost it, would not even begin to cover what was happening.

At first I felt angry. Blindingly angry. Anything I could get my hands on, I threw with so much force that it either broke as I touched it, or it smashed whatever it connected with. Then it coupled with rage, and I rammed my fist into anything I could reach. I don't know how many dents and holes I put in the walls. As my hands started to swell and ache, I felt a final emotion sweep over me. Sadness. It was one I knew all to well, and I knew what happened when it did.

I crawled into bed in my dishevled clothes, heaving from exhaustion. As my head hit the pillow, my face was swarmed with tears. I'm sure I had a heart somewhere inside my chest, but right now, I felt hollow. The feelings I had in the stadium earlier were nothing more than distant memories. My reason for existing, didn't know who I was.

"Do you really not remember me, Yuna?" I cried out in the empty, dark room.

It was clear just then, that I was indeed, alone. My friends meant nothing to me. How could they? Here in this cold room, I was nothing more than fortune's fool.

Ok, I really, really, really, REALLY HATED writing this chapter. I think I even cried while I wrote it. (Yeah, yeah, I'm a girl. Leave me alone!) I had to write it as realistically as possible being that they're on two different sides of the spectrum. I would say I hope I did good, but how do you word that without saying you enjoyed it when you know you didn't? Oh well. It had to be like this for the plot. It couldn't have gone any other way because of the conditions that Yuna is on Spira. FORGIVE ME MY FELLOW YUNA/TIDUS SUPPORTERS!