Author's Note: This is my version...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Why so pensive?" The familiar voice penetrated her thoughts.
Before conscious thought rendered her mute, Abby responded to their silly, private joke, "Oh, nothing... just thinkin." Simultaneously, the realization hit her. Carter. Her eyes involuntarily dropped from the wall; the spot at which she'd just been staring. Turning her head slowly, Abby took in Carter's lanky frame -made even thinner by sparse rations on which he'd been living. "Carter," steadying her voice, "how are you?"
"Fine. I'm fine Abby... How've you been -" clearing his voice, "Susan wrote me- you're back in med school... How, how're you doing?" Quickly, his eyes darted to the floor.
"Oh.... heh-" scrunching her nose, "if I make it through, it will be nothing short of a miracle...." A quick glance revealed concern in Carter's eyes, "No... no -just kidding... I'm fine, doing fine, really!" Laughing a little to reassure him, she repeated, "Really, Carter -I'm fine! You don't need to worry about me...." Any more, she thought.
A slight, dangerous glimmer darkened his gaze for the briefest moment, and was gone. Carter stood staring at her for a moment, gave a slight shake of his head, and said, "Well... um, good luck, Abby... I-" his voice cracking slightly, Carter cleared his throat again, "I know you'll make a great doctor... I don't think I ever told you. But... I, well -" He looked down the hall, then back to her, "You will."
At a loss for words, Abby mechanically mumbled, "Thank you... Carter." Shuffling notes in her lap, Abby feigned busyness, "Now, I better hit the books again. Or I really WILL need a miracle!"
Carter nodded, started out the door, stopped briefly, thought better of it and walked out.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Abby cradled her head in her arms. Well, that went well. Heh... She had heard that he might be back. Prayed that it was just vicious rumor. But, no. The real article, John Carter himself, had just wished her well in med school. And told her she would make a good doctor. That was new.
Somewhere, she'd heard that he wasn't working at County anymore. Wonder what he's doing here? she thought. Susan, she knew, had been keeping in touch with him. She tried to be a very good, very neutral friend... And Abby appreciated the rock and hard place position in which this ... situation?... placed Susan. But, Abby thought she, herself, would be a little more aware of what was going on in Carter's life... He did almost, well... they were almost, uh, yeah... But... not a word from the horse's mouth. And Susan was behaving strangely for two solid days. Abby could swear it seemed Susan was actually... avoiding her.
"Abby, I, uh... there's a shortage, um -nurses.. Abby could you give me a hand in... uh -" Flushed-faced and distracted, Susan uncharacteristically stammered, urgently to Abby, "please. Now! Help!"
Closing her book resignedly, Abby pushed the chair back with her legs, stood and stretched. This was the trouble with training as a med student in the same hospital at which she had practiced nursing; people constantly expected her to perform nursing duties when she was wearing her med student hat... "Really, Susan... I don't have my big superhero cape today, I'm actu-"
"Abby, hurry -I need a hand RIGHT NOW!" Susan was really agitated.
Okay. "Okay, sure... I'm right behind you, then..." What was with her? Susan never pulled rank... But, okay. "Let me just put my books up so-"
"NO! NOW!" shot out of Susan's mouth, and then, "Abs -I'm sorry, but it's just that... would you just -please? Now..."
Pushing her urgently, Susan almost ran over Abby... Wow, must be some major trauma, thought Abby... Or -no. They aren't throwing a surprise party, for me? For going back to school? Nah. They would know. KNOW she hated tha-
"Over here -this.. uh, this... Here -here it is!" Susan picked up a film, rushing Abby around the corner to the light box. "I wanted your opinion... As a senior nurse... Um, you need to look at this. And, ah, it's very interesting from a teaching standpoint, too..."
They almost made it, but, too late, the doors to the elevator opened and standing there, next to Carter (very, very next to Carter, she thought) was a very beautiful, evidently pregnant (about... 17 weeks, Abby guesstimated) very poised woman. Gazing at Carter. Glowingly. For a moment the room spun, and, although Susan and Carter were both talking, Abby couldn't make out a word. They seemed to be speaking through some sort of filter, making their speech wholly unintelligable.
"Oh. Uh..." Just as she thought she might pass out on the floor, the speech centers in her brain kicked in and she blurted out, "Excuse me -hah, I'm standing right in your path, I'll get out of your.... I have..." before she lost it entirely, Abby turned quickly toward the ladies room. Faintly she heard Susan calling her name, but fight or flight instinct drove her. Mercifully, a door appeared; without thought Abby pushed through.
In the quiet of the stall, Abby sat, hands clasped over her mouth. Trying desperately not to make any noise, she let the sobs quake her shoulders.
"Abby? You in here?" Susan's voice pierced the hollow room. "I'm sorry! Please? I tried to, to... Oh, I don't know..." her voice trailed off, "Abby are you okay? Standing right outside her stall, Susan tapped her fingers lightly on the door, "Abs? You still talking to me?"
"I'm fine, Susan... fine.." Knowing she couldn't stay in the stall, Abby unlocked the stall door, gently pushing it open with her foot. Almost losing her balance, she shot her arms out to keep from plunging into the toilet, cutting her arm on the paper dispenser at the same time. "Shit! ow,oW, OW- that HURT!"
Jumping toward the sink, Susan grabbed handfuls of paper towels and quickly wetted them. Handing them to Abby, she blurted, "Oh, god- you're going to need stitches!" Catching Abby's eye, she then burst into nervous laughter. "Oh, Abby -I'm sorry! I, look -don't worry, I... I'll hate Carter with you. okay?"
Normally, Susan's good nature cheered Abby. It was probably comical, the sight of Abby flailing to keep from falling into the toilet... but she couldn't dredge up any feeling, anything that hinted at mirth; not now. Not this time.
"Suz, I know that was probably really funny... But I, I can't... You know? I just, right now... I'm going to the on-call room -okay? Can you just-" voice dropping to a whisper, "...can you run interference for me... just for a bit? Till I can get my mind around ... you know..."
Susan's head nodded furiously, "Yes, yes -Abby go... I'll send Neela in to help you suture-"
"No," Abby cut her off, ".. uh, no thanks -I can get it myself... probably just needs a butterfly, anyway..." Trying to fight new tears, she let her eyes drop to the floor, "I'd really appreciate... I don't think I can face anyone right now..."
"Ohhh...kay... then," she wrinkled her nose at Abby, "but you better not sue me later..." Taking another look at Abby's arm, Susan looked up, "You sure you're going to be okay?" At Abby's nod, Susan gave her shoulder a little pep-talk squeeze while sliding out the door. "And, Abby? I just found out a couple a days ago, myself... I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up... uuuh, -Doctor, patient confidentiality... or... some other lame excuse..." Susan backed out with a weak smile.
As the door snapped shut, Abby looked into the mirror... Okay. So, this was a total blindside, right? No mention. From anyone... No one thought to give her the slightest warning that Carter was due to come in today... and with a BIG surprise. Remembering the look on his face in the lounge earlier and the glimpse she caught as he was standing in the elevator... Abby realized that this was... this was serious. Gripping the edges of the lavatory, she pushed her face closer to the mirror. Held up her arm, looked at the gash... This was... Carter really HAD moved on... "Boy, has he!" she snorted... The laughter caught her by surprise. Almost as quickly, a deep sob wracked her frame. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she waited for the tears to pass.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm Med Student, today. Get Severa..." Quickly making her way to the lounge, Abby responded to the slightly befuddled Morris. Backing into the lounge door, she missed Luka by centimeters. "Oh- geez, Luka, I'm sorry! I was trying to ditch that shmuck Morris... always trying to get the nurses to do his job..." Still reeling from the blinding vision at the elevator, Abby dodged Luka's eyes. Didn't trust herself; too easy to fall into distressed damsel mode with him...
"It's okay, Abby, I am learning to dodge bullets," Abby winced at the reminder of how they almost lost him. Luka, oblivious, puffed out his chest in mock superhero style, "the lounge door cannot hurt me..."
"D'you wanna get some coffee? I switch teams in about," pausing to check her watch, "in about an hour and a half..." Finally trusting herself to look up at him, "We could talk about the uh, the Congo, or something..." she added, to further persuade him.
He considered her for a moment, and then, slowly, "You alright, Abby? You look a little... not yourself..." At her assurance, Luka's concern seemed assuaged, and he agreed to the cup of coffee. "I just have to check in at the shark cage, ok?" He added, "Let them know I'm not flying the coop..."
Abby suppressed absured amusement at the mix of metaphors, "That's fine, Luka... I'll walk with you." she shook off the remnants of the earlier encounter, "I can't study anymore, anyway."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Where was his head. Between the news that Kem was having a baby and the rush to get her to Chicago -where the prenatal care was better- he just wasn't thinking. About anything else. Of course, if he brought Kem back to County, they stood a pretty good chance of running into Abby. Somehow, in the rush of falling for Kem and finding out about the baby -'My baby,' he thought- Carter neglected to factor in the Abby... situation. The thing was, he and Kem happened so fast he didn't have time... or, the RIGHT time, to tell Kem about Abby. Not really, anyway. And, he hadn't exactly been corresponding with Abby, either.
He almost told her. Standing in the door to the lounge. Hesitated just the briefest moment... but he... well, he couldn't. Just couldn't bring himself to tell her right there. Just the two of them. He didn't trust himself, like that. And so, he didn't.
Carter squinted his eyes shut tight. Could see Abby's shocked face as the elevator doors opened. He knew that everything else...the proposal that wasn't, his leaving for Africa without even discussing it with her, twice...every way he'd hurt her thus far, was small beans compared to... to this.
But, it was finished, though. That much was true. He had moved on. So had she. This was just salt in the wound; nothing more. Carter knew that Abby might be shocked but that she would quickly get over it. She was done with him a long time before he finally gave up on her.
But Abby didn't like surprises and he knew, knew right when he saw her face as the elevator doors opened, that he should have told her. When they were alone. Faced the coldness, the icy ambivalence. It was better than... better than her shocked and bewildered face, staring at him uncomprehendingly. He just... just didn't want to do that to her. She didn't like surprises...
"Kem?" Throwing the door open quickly, Carter heard his own voice, as if coming from someone else.
"I couldn't wait. Look! Isn't he beautiful?" Positively beaming, she looked more beautiful than the very first night he laid eyes on her. Pregnancy suited some women; made them more than gorgeous. It was this way with Kem.
"Any neural tube defects?" Again, his own voice sounded almost wooden to his ears. 'Where are you Carter?' his mind prodded.
"No, everything looks fine... Ten fingers, toes; heart, lungs -all look fine... developing on schedule..." Dr. Yamata assured.
"It's a boy... Your son." Tears rimmed her eyes, now.
"A son..." His son. For a moment, Carter felt the room lurch. This was all so... unreal. So unbelievably... real. "I have to get back downstairs... you can find your way back..?"
"Yes, John Carter, MD -I am quite able to get to the Emergency Department by myself..." Her eyes were glowing, now, as she gently chided him. "Go, they need you more than I do..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She knew, now. Knew that everyone else knew. God, she felt so... exposed. How could he do this to her? How could he let her be the last one to know? If she doubted everything else they ever shared, the one thing Abby never doubted was their friendship.
Until now.
The walk to the shark cage reminded her of that time, right after Maggie made her first appearance. The dawning realization that everyone knew she had a crazy mom... and were simultaneously pitying her and wondering when she would wack out and start flailing at them, too. Oh, she hated this. This... pity. It made her even more determined to hold her head up and never let them see her sweat. Ever.
One thing Abby couldn't stand, was to be pitied.
Of course, she and Luka didn't make it to the cafeteria. Of course, they ran smack into Carter and ... sheesh! Abby didn't even know her damn name!
"...this must be Kem," she heard Luka say. Abby watched, astonished, as Kem and Luka kissed each other, like long-lost pals, on each cheek. European style. Abby suppressed the urge to laugh, uncontrollably. This was surreal. If it wasn't so uncomfortable she WOULD be laughing...
"I'm pleased to meet you," her mouth said. Abby felt thirteen. And then the ... the sonogram photo... Wanting to run, Abby forced herself to face this... face him. He had moved on. But so had she. Still, it was like some excruciating party... all bad small talk and too-tight clothes...
After what seemed an hour, Carter glanced in Abby's direction and lightly said, "I better get back to work... Walk you out?" directed at Kem. An uncomfortable glance at Abby and they headed out the door.
"I, uh... they got together after I left..." Luka obviously felt the need to explain, " She runs an AIDS trial in Kinshasa..." and then, "Abby, are you okay?"
Poor Luka. Left with the toxic spill clean up duty. Well, she would make it quick and painless. "Fine... I'm fine..." After a beat, though, she couldn't resist the little dig..."Well, what'd he do? Knock her up the minute he got there?" Quick glance at Luka. Okay. Maybe quick and painFUL.
"You going home, Abby?" Luka was uncomfortable and she didn't want that... she wanted... heh. She didn't know what she wanted.
"No...no ... I'm going to the on call room... Heh, same thing..." Abby let her voice trail off.
Done in. She was... just... tired. So, so tired.... Needed...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings: Real Life. It gets in the way of creative pursuits, sometimes. I shall try to remedy that.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Why so pensive?" The familiar voice penetrated her thoughts.
Before conscious thought rendered her mute, Abby responded to their silly, private joke, "Oh, nothing... just thinkin." Simultaneously, the realization hit her. Carter. Her eyes involuntarily dropped from the wall; the spot at which she'd just been staring. Turning her head slowly, Abby took in Carter's lanky frame -made even thinner by sparse rations on which he'd been living. "Carter," steadying her voice, "how are you?"
"Fine. I'm fine Abby... How've you been -" clearing his voice, "Susan wrote me- you're back in med school... How, how're you doing?" Quickly, his eyes darted to the floor.
"Oh.... heh-" scrunching her nose, "if I make it through, it will be nothing short of a miracle...." A quick glance revealed concern in Carter's eyes, "No... no -just kidding... I'm fine, doing fine, really!" Laughing a little to reassure him, she repeated, "Really, Carter -I'm fine! You don't need to worry about me...." Any more, she thought.
A slight, dangerous glimmer darkened his gaze for the briefest moment, and was gone. Carter stood staring at her for a moment, gave a slight shake of his head, and said, "Well... um, good luck, Abby... I-" his voice cracking slightly, Carter cleared his throat again, "I know you'll make a great doctor... I don't think I ever told you. But... I, well -" He looked down the hall, then back to her, "You will."
At a loss for words, Abby mechanically mumbled, "Thank you... Carter." Shuffling notes in her lap, Abby feigned busyness, "Now, I better hit the books again. Or I really WILL need a miracle!"
Carter nodded, started out the door, stopped briefly, thought better of it and walked out.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Abby cradled her head in her arms. Well, that went well. Heh... She had heard that he might be back. Prayed that it was just vicious rumor. But, no. The real article, John Carter himself, had just wished her well in med school. And told her she would make a good doctor. That was new.
Somewhere, she'd heard that he wasn't working at County anymore. Wonder what he's doing here? she thought. Susan, she knew, had been keeping in touch with him. She tried to be a very good, very neutral friend... And Abby appreciated the rock and hard place position in which this ... situation?... placed Susan. But, Abby thought she, herself, would be a little more aware of what was going on in Carter's life... He did almost, well... they were almost, uh, yeah... But... not a word from the horse's mouth. And Susan was behaving strangely for two solid days. Abby could swear it seemed Susan was actually... avoiding her.
"Abby, I, uh... there's a shortage, um -nurses.. Abby could you give me a hand in... uh -" Flushed-faced and distracted, Susan uncharacteristically stammered, urgently to Abby, "please. Now! Help!"
Closing her book resignedly, Abby pushed the chair back with her legs, stood and stretched. This was the trouble with training as a med student in the same hospital at which she had practiced nursing; people constantly expected her to perform nursing duties when she was wearing her med student hat... "Really, Susan... I don't have my big superhero cape today, I'm actu-"
"Abby, hurry -I need a hand RIGHT NOW!" Susan was really agitated.
Okay. "Okay, sure... I'm right behind you, then..." What was with her? Susan never pulled rank... But, okay. "Let me just put my books up so-"
"NO! NOW!" shot out of Susan's mouth, and then, "Abs -I'm sorry, but it's just that... would you just -please? Now..."
Pushing her urgently, Susan almost ran over Abby... Wow, must be some major trauma, thought Abby... Or -no. They aren't throwing a surprise party, for me? For going back to school? Nah. They would know. KNOW she hated tha-
"Over here -this.. uh, this... Here -here it is!" Susan picked up a film, rushing Abby around the corner to the light box. "I wanted your opinion... As a senior nurse... Um, you need to look at this. And, ah, it's very interesting from a teaching standpoint, too..."
They almost made it, but, too late, the doors to the elevator opened and standing there, next to Carter (very, very next to Carter, she thought) was a very beautiful, evidently pregnant (about... 17 weeks, Abby guesstimated) very poised woman. Gazing at Carter. Glowingly. For a moment the room spun, and, although Susan and Carter were both talking, Abby couldn't make out a word. They seemed to be speaking through some sort of filter, making their speech wholly unintelligable.
"Oh. Uh..." Just as she thought she might pass out on the floor, the speech centers in her brain kicked in and she blurted out, "Excuse me -hah, I'm standing right in your path, I'll get out of your.... I have..." before she lost it entirely, Abby turned quickly toward the ladies room. Faintly she heard Susan calling her name, but fight or flight instinct drove her. Mercifully, a door appeared; without thought Abby pushed through.
In the quiet of the stall, Abby sat, hands clasped over her mouth. Trying desperately not to make any noise, she let the sobs quake her shoulders.
"Abby? You in here?" Susan's voice pierced the hollow room. "I'm sorry! Please? I tried to, to... Oh, I don't know..." her voice trailed off, "Abby are you okay? Standing right outside her stall, Susan tapped her fingers lightly on the door, "Abs? You still talking to me?"
"I'm fine, Susan... fine.." Knowing she couldn't stay in the stall, Abby unlocked the stall door, gently pushing it open with her foot. Almost losing her balance, she shot her arms out to keep from plunging into the toilet, cutting her arm on the paper dispenser at the same time. "Shit! ow,oW, OW- that HURT!"
Jumping toward the sink, Susan grabbed handfuls of paper towels and quickly wetted them. Handing them to Abby, she blurted, "Oh, god- you're going to need stitches!" Catching Abby's eye, she then burst into nervous laughter. "Oh, Abby -I'm sorry! I, look -don't worry, I... I'll hate Carter with you. okay?"
Normally, Susan's good nature cheered Abby. It was probably comical, the sight of Abby flailing to keep from falling into the toilet... but she couldn't dredge up any feeling, anything that hinted at mirth; not now. Not this time.
"Suz, I know that was probably really funny... But I, I can't... You know? I just, right now... I'm going to the on-call room -okay? Can you just-" voice dropping to a whisper, "...can you run interference for me... just for a bit? Till I can get my mind around ... you know..."
Susan's head nodded furiously, "Yes, yes -Abby go... I'll send Neela in to help you suture-"
"No," Abby cut her off, ".. uh, no thanks -I can get it myself... probably just needs a butterfly, anyway..." Trying to fight new tears, she let her eyes drop to the floor, "I'd really appreciate... I don't think I can face anyone right now..."
"Ohhh...kay... then," she wrinkled her nose at Abby, "but you better not sue me later..." Taking another look at Abby's arm, Susan looked up, "You sure you're going to be okay?" At Abby's nod, Susan gave her shoulder a little pep-talk squeeze while sliding out the door. "And, Abby? I just found out a couple a days ago, myself... I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up... uuuh, -Doctor, patient confidentiality... or... some other lame excuse..." Susan backed out with a weak smile.
As the door snapped shut, Abby looked into the mirror... Okay. So, this was a total blindside, right? No mention. From anyone... No one thought to give her the slightest warning that Carter was due to come in today... and with a BIG surprise. Remembering the look on his face in the lounge earlier and the glimpse she caught as he was standing in the elevator... Abby realized that this was... this was serious. Gripping the edges of the lavatory, she pushed her face closer to the mirror. Held up her arm, looked at the gash... This was... Carter really HAD moved on... "Boy, has he!" she snorted... The laughter caught her by surprise. Almost as quickly, a deep sob wracked her frame. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she waited for the tears to pass.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"I'm Med Student, today. Get Severa..." Quickly making her way to the lounge, Abby responded to the slightly befuddled Morris. Backing into the lounge door, she missed Luka by centimeters. "Oh- geez, Luka, I'm sorry! I was trying to ditch that shmuck Morris... always trying to get the nurses to do his job..." Still reeling from the blinding vision at the elevator, Abby dodged Luka's eyes. Didn't trust herself; too easy to fall into distressed damsel mode with him...
"It's okay, Abby, I am learning to dodge bullets," Abby winced at the reminder of how they almost lost him. Luka, oblivious, puffed out his chest in mock superhero style, "the lounge door cannot hurt me..."
"D'you wanna get some coffee? I switch teams in about," pausing to check her watch, "in about an hour and a half..." Finally trusting herself to look up at him, "We could talk about the uh, the Congo, or something..." she added, to further persuade him.
He considered her for a moment, and then, slowly, "You alright, Abby? You look a little... not yourself..." At her assurance, Luka's concern seemed assuaged, and he agreed to the cup of coffee. "I just have to check in at the shark cage, ok?" He added, "Let them know I'm not flying the coop..."
Abby suppressed absured amusement at the mix of metaphors, "That's fine, Luka... I'll walk with you." she shook off the remnants of the earlier encounter, "I can't study anymore, anyway."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Where was his head. Between the news that Kem was having a baby and the rush to get her to Chicago -where the prenatal care was better- he just wasn't thinking. About anything else. Of course, if he brought Kem back to County, they stood a pretty good chance of running into Abby. Somehow, in the rush of falling for Kem and finding out about the baby -'My baby,' he thought- Carter neglected to factor in the Abby... situation. The thing was, he and Kem happened so fast he didn't have time... or, the RIGHT time, to tell Kem about Abby. Not really, anyway. And, he hadn't exactly been corresponding with Abby, either.
He almost told her. Standing in the door to the lounge. Hesitated just the briefest moment... but he... well, he couldn't. Just couldn't bring himself to tell her right there. Just the two of them. He didn't trust himself, like that. And so, he didn't.
Carter squinted his eyes shut tight. Could see Abby's shocked face as the elevator doors opened. He knew that everything else...the proposal that wasn't, his leaving for Africa without even discussing it with her, twice...every way he'd hurt her thus far, was small beans compared to... to this.
But, it was finished, though. That much was true. He had moved on. So had she. This was just salt in the wound; nothing more. Carter knew that Abby might be shocked but that she would quickly get over it. She was done with him a long time before he finally gave up on her.
But Abby didn't like surprises and he knew, knew right when he saw her face as the elevator doors opened, that he should have told her. When they were alone. Faced the coldness, the icy ambivalence. It was better than... better than her shocked and bewildered face, staring at him uncomprehendingly. He just... just didn't want to do that to her. She didn't like surprises...
"Kem?" Throwing the door open quickly, Carter heard his own voice, as if coming from someone else.
"I couldn't wait. Look! Isn't he beautiful?" Positively beaming, she looked more beautiful than the very first night he laid eyes on her. Pregnancy suited some women; made them more than gorgeous. It was this way with Kem.
"Any neural tube defects?" Again, his own voice sounded almost wooden to his ears. 'Where are you Carter?' his mind prodded.
"No, everything looks fine... Ten fingers, toes; heart, lungs -all look fine... developing on schedule..." Dr. Yamata assured.
"It's a boy... Your son." Tears rimmed her eyes, now.
"A son..." His son. For a moment, Carter felt the room lurch. This was all so... unreal. So unbelievably... real. "I have to get back downstairs... you can find your way back..?"
"Yes, John Carter, MD -I am quite able to get to the Emergency Department by myself..." Her eyes were glowing, now, as she gently chided him. "Go, they need you more than I do..."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She knew, now. Knew that everyone else knew. God, she felt so... exposed. How could he do this to her? How could he let her be the last one to know? If she doubted everything else they ever shared, the one thing Abby never doubted was their friendship.
Until now.
The walk to the shark cage reminded her of that time, right after Maggie made her first appearance. The dawning realization that everyone knew she had a crazy mom... and were simultaneously pitying her and wondering when she would wack out and start flailing at them, too. Oh, she hated this. This... pity. It made her even more determined to hold her head up and never let them see her sweat. Ever.
One thing Abby couldn't stand, was to be pitied.
Of course, she and Luka didn't make it to the cafeteria. Of course, they ran smack into Carter and ... sheesh! Abby didn't even know her damn name!
"...this must be Kem," she heard Luka say. Abby watched, astonished, as Kem and Luka kissed each other, like long-lost pals, on each cheek. European style. Abby suppressed the urge to laugh, uncontrollably. This was surreal. If it wasn't so uncomfortable she WOULD be laughing...
"I'm pleased to meet you," her mouth said. Abby felt thirteen. And then the ... the sonogram photo... Wanting to run, Abby forced herself to face this... face him. He had moved on. But so had she. Still, it was like some excruciating party... all bad small talk and too-tight clothes...
After what seemed an hour, Carter glanced in Abby's direction and lightly said, "I better get back to work... Walk you out?" directed at Kem. An uncomfortable glance at Abby and they headed out the door.
"I, uh... they got together after I left..." Luka obviously felt the need to explain, " She runs an AIDS trial in Kinshasa..." and then, "Abby, are you okay?"
Poor Luka. Left with the toxic spill clean up duty. Well, she would make it quick and painless. "Fine... I'm fine..." After a beat, though, she couldn't resist the little dig..."Well, what'd he do? Knock her up the minute he got there?" Quick glance at Luka. Okay. Maybe quick and painFUL.
"You going home, Abby?" Luka was uncomfortable and she didn't want that... she wanted... heh. She didn't know what she wanted.
"No...no ... I'm going to the on call room... Heh, same thing..." Abby let her voice trail off.
Done in. She was... just... tired. So, so tired.... Needed...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Ramblings: Real Life. It gets in the way of creative pursuits, sometimes. I shall try to remedy that.