Kisara POV

I took a scroll from my equipment pouch and placed it on the ground, taking the body, head and looped off leg from Samael in order to seal it for later study, even if currently we lacked the means to properly analyze it but Tobio asked the bodies whenever it was possible for future reference if nothing else.

After collecting all weapons and putting those half-dead out of their misery we finally cleaned up the road and unblocked the bridge so we could go. A few cars were a bit packed, but as the primary bodyguard of Enrico I had some privileges.

Soon we had arrived at his house with no further problems.

"Your money will arrive shortly", said one of the suits as we entered the residence of Enrico, which ironically enough looked like a classical japanese home complete with garden and matching architecture. As I followed Enrico something opened the screen door to his house and quickly ran towards him.

"DADDY~!" Said the little boy as he came running towards Enrico, jumping on his waist as he got close and almost knocking the air from him.

"Fernando, what I have told you about going to bed early?" Said Enrico in a stern, if warn voice.

"But but you promised to come home before I went to bed! You promised!"

"Hikaru, please let your father come inside the house first", said another voice, and from inside the house came a woman around her thirties wearing a light kimono. "Welcome home dear."

Enrico comes to her side with his son on his arms, receiving a peck on his cheek before handing the kid to her. "I will be back shortly", he said while the woman turns to me and while still with her child in hands she gives me a bow of gratitude.

A few minutes later Enrico comes with my money, and once I verify that everything is in order I bow at him. "Everything is in order", I said with the suitcase in hands, "hopefully we can do business again."

He just grunts noncommittally and I take it as the dismissal it is, but I had to ask. "I didn't knew you had a family."

"I tend to keep my family away from my affairs, even if I know that in the future my son will either join a world I don't want him to be part of, or he will revile me for my choices."

"Then why do you do it?"

He looked at me deep in the eyes, struggling with his answer before sighing. "I did what I had to do in order to survive, and I had a duty to my community when I inherited my position from my father. Now I make sure to protect my own people even if I will be reviled by it."

I didn't knew how to respond, so I simply nodded in acceptance and turned back, ready to go home.

It has been a long night.

~~O~~

"Welcome home Kisara." Tobio answered the door with clear relief in his eyes. I tried to smile at him but somehow I felt it was too brittle, too fake. He probably caught on that already, being better at reading people than me by a wide margin. All those D-ranks had to pay off somehow. "Come in, I will make some tea and you can tell me about your mission."

As we sat at the kitchen table waiting for the water to boil I couldn't look at him in the eye. He patiently waited for me to talk, but it was as if the words had escaped from me. I could feel the eyes of Tobio on me, waiting for me to open up to him.

Heavens, why it is so difficult? It's not like he didn't go through the same thing as me back into his first life. I mean, it's not like he's a complete psychopath that didn't felt anything the first time he killed, right? Damn it, now I'm even doubting my best friend!

The kettle started to whistle and Tobio stood up to make the tea.

"Tobio", I started, my chest tight with anxiety, "what happened during your first time?"

He didn't answer for a moment, busy with the tea before he turned with the streaming cups for us. I gladly took the drink and started sipping it. We stayed silent for a few seconds before he answered.

"The first time I killed", he said already figuring out what I meant, "it was during a C-rank mission turned B-rank. We were supposed to fight a couple of bandits to fend off a caravan, but due to reasons that aren't important right now we had to face off against chunin ninja. At the time we were all genin and we had to face the opposition as a team. While our jonin sensei took care of the majority of chunin we fought against two of them. We used everything we had, and at the end we managed to cripple one of them while I managed to hit a lucky throw with my kunai to his neck, making him bleed out."

He paused to take a sip of his own drink before continuing. "At the time I was shaken since I had take my first life, but it wasn't nearly as bad since I had done so while on the heat of combat. It was later, in another mission, that it would sink in that I had killed when we were asked to exterminate a bandit camp."

He sighed at the mention of that mission. "You have to understand that we shinobi while under our village leader we were also the sword and shield of the country, having both policing and executing power depending on the situation. The bandit camp had outlived the mercy of the Daimyo who asked us to kill every single bandit in the camp. At first it felt like a bandit camp invasion like I had trained before, and once more I killed in the heat of the moment, but then we took those that had surrendered, only a handful few, to be executed in cold blood and each one of our team was required to take at least one live."

Another sigh and he took a sip to his drink. "Afterwards I was ready to throw up. After all it's different to kill someone to protect yourself, and another to kill someone in cold blood. Since we already had talks about killing in the academy before graduating, he had allowed me my own space to process what I had done, but since my reaction to the deaths of the bandits were so extreme he took me aside to talk with me."

He took one of my hands that were clasped in front of me, and I looked up to him and saw his sad expression. "He told me that as a shinobi I had a duty to perform both to the village and my country. Sometimes I would hate this duty, but for the sake of those under my protection, as a shinobi of the leaf I had to do it, because nobody else could, nobody else was willing. Death was part of the shinobi life, and I had to accept that I had killed and would kill again in the future."

I nodded in understanding. To complete the mission at all costs, to press on even under hardship, the have the courage to face the unknown.

"Does it become easier?"

"It varies from person to person. Some become more unhinged, while other retract within themselves. A few can't handle the stress and stop being shinobi altogether. Everyone finds their own way to cope with the stress of being a shinobi, but it's something that we all have to deal with at some point or another. That doesn't mean we have to endure that alone of course."

"Was, was it truly necessary?" I finally asked him, "was it really unavoidable? Did I really had to kill them?"

He looked at me deep in the eyes before standing up and coming to my side to hug me. It was a bit awkward, but I enjoyed the act nonetheless.

"Would sparing them endanger yourself?" He softly asked, "not the mission being a failure, but would you not return if you didn't do what you had to do?" I paused for a moment before nodding. "If so I don't really care if people would relive you for the deaths you caused. You're my friend, my partner, my team mate and I want you to come back safe always." As he stroked my hair he continued. "You know, you don't really need to have it bottled up, I'm here for you always and I won't judge you or-"

I didn't let his finish as I grabbed him tighter and let the emotions of the night flow in and I screamed and raged, while blaming everything and everyone of what happened, including Tobio and myself. He took it silently, just returning the hug while I vented my frustrations.

Once I was done I felt a bit lighter and I looked back at Tobio, who didn't had a look or disgust or pity as I had feared before, but one of acceptance and relief. "Come on, let's get to bed, you had a long night. If you want you can stay at home instead of going to school, and no Ragnarok for at least three days. A shinobi needs to have his day off too, after all."

I didn't protest and followed him back to my bed, after all he was right. It had been a long night, but I think I got stronger for it.