Let Me Be Your Downfall
Chapter Eleven: The Christmas Song
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you
Remus woke up slowly; taking a moment to place the unfamiliar bed he woke up in was Sirius's guest bed and the slender figure in his arms as Jamie. Her breathing was deep and slow, telling him that she was still in a deep sleep. He ran a hand up her back, feeling the soft fabric of her tank top. He could feel her breath on his chest, their legs wrapped around each other. Remus ever so softly pushed Jamie's hair out of her face and he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Her eyes were closed, obviously, but her lips were slightly apart and her eyebrows were furrowed, showing that she was dreaming.
Remus had fully appreciated waking up to his fiancée in his arms three mornings in a row and wasn't looking forward to going back to Hogwarts when they had to sleep in separate dormitories - even if he had the rest of their lives. They had quickly grown used to their sleeping habits and Remus knew that once Jamie fell into a deep sleep, she was near impossible to move or wake up.
Glancing across the room at the digital clock on the dresser, Remus saw that it was nearly nine o'clock, meaning that the others would be itching to open gifts soon. Because Sirius just had to have everyone have a traditional morning ritual of opening presents, they had decided to postpone the opening until the morning after Jamie and Remus had arrived - even if it was the 26th. Not wanting to wake leave the warmth of Jamie on his chest, Remus closed his eyes once again, wrapped his arms around her, and began to drift back to sleep when he vaguely heard someone whisper, "Alohomora."
"Prongs, shhh."
"I didn't say anything."
"Well, you are now."
"You know, Padfoot, you can be a git sometimes."
"Don't start with me, Prongs."
"Are we going to wake them?"
"Moony is awake. He's faking."
"How can you tell?"
"He's sleeping how he always does when he knows we're going to go prank someone and doesn't want to be involved."
"Really?"
Remus opened one of his eyes to see his two friends tip toeing across the bedroom to where he was laying. When he did, they both stopped in their tracks and looked at each other, as though this wasn't part of the plan at all.
"Blimey, I was bluffing about him faking," Sirius continued to whisper to James, not moving.
"What are we going to do now?" James asked.
"Maybe if we stand here, he won't notice."
"Oh, I have an idea," James cleared his throat and standing up straight. "Remus Lupin, this is a dream. You are dreaming right now. In fact, dreaming is what you're doing."
"Indeed, dreaming is the current state of mind you are in at his precise moment in time," Sirius added, nodding.
Remus opened his other eye and blinked a few times, looking at his two friends in disbelief. "Is there an actual reason you're being annoying prats or are you just being yourselves?"
"I believe he called us prats, Padfoot," James noted, looking at his best friend.
"I believe you heard correctly, Prongs," Sirius replied, dramatically putting a hand over his heart and closing his eyes and dispensing a fake sob. "I'm not sure if I'll ever recover from this."
"Is she really still sleeping?" James asked, walking over to the bed and bending low to look at Jamie's face. "Bloody hell, she is."
"She's a sound sleeper," Remus shrugged, running his fingers through her hair protectively.
"JAMIE, WAKE UP!" Sirius shouted, only causing Jamie to scrunch up her face and shift slightly. "Good Lord."
"Once, when the two of us were real young, I was staying the night at her house," James launched into a story. "Aunt Claire managed to come into her room where we were sleeping four times before she got Jamie out of bed and that was only with magic."
"Put your wand away, Padfoot," Remus warned as he saw Sirius dig into his pocket. Sirius gave him a dejected look, but withdrew his hand nonetheless.
"I believe that was the same slumber party that I talked you into wearing that one pink dress, remember, James?" Jamie asked, her eyes still closed and not moving. "Or, wait, was that the one that you fell down an entire flight of stairs because you were trying to wear my mum's high heels?"
"I believe that was the one that you shut your mouth, actually," James countered, jumping onto the bed and pulling Jamie off of Remus, causing her to shriek.
"James Potter, if you tickle me I swear you'll never give me little nieces and nephews," Jamie threatened, James pinning her to the bed.
"Wouldn't they just be your second cousins?" Sirius mused.
James hovered over Jamie, a sly grin spreading over his face. "No, James, don't you dare spit on me!" With all the strength she could muster, she pushed her cousin not only off the bed but halfway across the room. She then cleared her throat and patted down her hair.
"If the two of you don't mind, could you please give us a few moments?" Jamie asked as though nothing had just happened. "I'd really like to make myself presentable before we open presents and at the moment I'm not nearly decent enough to be seen by other humans."
"Ten minutes," Sirius said warningly, holding up ten fingers. "Any more and your presents are being donated to the Sirius Black Likes to Open Other People's Christmas Presents Organization."
"Which just so happens to fund the James Potter Forgot to Buy Presents for People Who Bought Him Presents Charity Event," James added before following Sirius out the door and closing it behind them.
"'Don't you dare spit on me'?" Remus asked, rolling over so he was lying on his stomach between Jamie's legs and his chin was resting on her stomach.
"He used to do this thing where he'd pin me to the ground and start a big goop of spit down until it got on my face," Jamie explained, a disgusted look upon her face. "Once he got it in my mouth and I was scarred for a long time. It was like I made out with my cousin."
"Never say those words in that order again," Remus replied, pulling up Jamie's tank top to expose her bare stomach.
"They could be in a different order and have the same meaning, you know," Jamie noted, putting her hands in his hair as he began to kiss her stomach. "Such as, 'It was my cousin I, like, made out with' or 'Like, I made out with? It was my cousin.' Well, I suppose that one doesn't fit quite as well."
"Mh hm," Remus murmured.
"Remus," Jamie scolded. "Remus Lupin, you just put your tongue in my belly button."
"So?" Remus asked, pulling himself closer to her face with his elbows.
"That's gross," Jamie replied. "What if I had belly button fuzz? It's in your mouth now. I think I just vomited a bit."
"There wasn't any fuzz," Remus rolled his eyes, making to kiss her, but she put her hand over his face.
"I don't want to kiss your belly button lips," Jamie informed him. "Go brush your teeth."
"Are - are you kidding?" Remus cocked an eyebrow, pulling her hand down.
"No," Jamie replied, pulling his face to her and kissing him square on the lips. He instantly returned the kiss, heating it up without hesitation. Jamie's hands traveled down Remus's back as Remus's went the opposite direction up Jamie's tank top.
"Jamie, I just wanted to tell you that Sirius - oh, shit, sorry! I'm so sorry! Shit!"
Remus rolled off Jamie and Jamie slid out from under the blanket. "It's okay, Lily."
"I'm really sorry!" Lily apologized again, her hands clamped over her eyes.
"It's okay," Jamie repeated, pulling one of Remus's t-shirts on over her tank top and leaving her brown pajama pants on. "You can look."
Lily slowly lowered her hands, her face as red as her hair. She looked from Jamie, who was standing with a hand on her hip, to Remus, who was reaching for one of his t-shirts himself. "Sorry."
"What were you saying?" Jamie asked, glancing back to see if Remus was ready.
"Er, well, Sirius is, um, eyeing your gift from Jaclyn," Lily stammered, still uncomfortable. "But, I'll tell them you're coming."
"Thanks, Lily," Jamie smiled as she watched her best friend hurry out of the door as quickly as she could.
"That was embarrassing," Remus smirked, sitting on the bed.
"For her," Jamie added, coming over to him and putting on of her legs on either side of him and sitting in his lap. "Remember when I stayed at Lily's nearly the entire holiday summer before last, when she was on-again off-again dating the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain? Well, I'd walk in on them snogging in her bedroom near every morning. He'd come by floo during the night and they didn't have enough sense to have him gone before everyone got up."
"That's only because Lily is brilliant, though," Remus replied, pulling Jamie close to him and kissing her softly on the lips once. He bounced his knees once and said, "Now, come on, let's go open some presents."
After a frenzy of gift opening and nearly an entire afternoon of playing with newly acquired gifts, the groups of friends were sitting in the living room of Sirius's flats, quite at a loss of entertainment.
"I'm bored," Sirius, complained, losing interest in his new elaborate chess set that James, Remus, and Peter had gone in on together, even though Peter hadn't been able to attend the opening.
"What do you propose we do?" Jaclyn asked, then grimacing as she spit out a Bertie Bott's Bean into her empty glass.
"Let's play spin the wand," Sirius grinned.
"Oh, Sirius, that's so first year," Lily rolled her eyes, not looking up from her large book that Remus got her, which was full of different kinds potions, more modern than what their textbook gives. Lily always excelled at Potions and was far too excited to receive an education book.
"I'll play," Jamie sat up, putting down a box that contained a vast amount of scented candles, which she had been smelling, that she received from Jaclyn. "However, I'm not kissing anyone my gender or in my bloodline."
"So, that leaves Remus and Sirius," James raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, and I won't be kissing Sirius," Jamie added, giving Sirius a keen look.
"That hurts," Sirius said, pretending to be in distress, a hand over his heart.
"If we're aiming toward lame games that Jamie can't duck out of, we can play truth or dare," Lily suggested, almost looking sorry that she said it as she closed her book. She glanced at Jamie and Jaclyn, remembering what had happened last time they had played.
Before any of the girls could protest, though, James said, "That sounds like a not too shabby idea. Get into a circle."
Reluctantly, the group got into a circle on the floor of Sirius's sitting room, pushing boxes, wrapping paper, and gifts out of the way. Sirius pulled his wand out, setting it in the middle of the group. He looked around his group of friends, his trademark smirk on his face.
"I'll be going first, since this is my home and all," he announced, spinning the wand.
"Well, this is a fancy way to play," Jamie commented as they waiting for the wand to stop.
"Prevents cheating," James shrugged.
"How can you cheat at truth or dare?" Lily asked, and then saw that it landed squarely on her. "Oh, blimey."
Sirius laughed diabolically, causing his friends to give him a look of concern. "After that, I'm going to have to go with truth," Lily said.
"You are no fun, Miss Evans," Sirius commented, taking a moment to think hard. "Let's see…what did you think when you first found out you were a witch?"
"I thought it was some kind of joke, to be honest," Lily began, pulling her knees to her chest. "I mean, after eleven years of being told magic is only pretend, it was pretty shocking. However, once my parents and I realized that it was actually happening and that I was actually invited to attend a school for witchcraft, it began to sink in and it made more sense. Like everyone, I had been doing some weird stuff my entire life and not being able to understand why."
"What kind of stuff?" Sirius interrupted.
"Hey, one question per spin," Jaclyn spoke up. Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.
"I suppose that means it's my turn," Lily leaned forward to spin the wand. It landed squarely on James, who was seated next to her.
"Dare," James said instantly.
"I dare you to kiss me," Lily smirked, causing the others to groan.
"Oh, please," Remus pushed James, who was seated to his left, as he planted one on Lily.
"Like you should talk, Moony," James joked after he finished kissing Lily and spun the wand. It landed on Jaclyn.
"Truth," Jaclyn sighed, not wanting to do something James Potter could concoct.
"Do you actually like Gideon Prewett?" James asked her.
Jaclyn turned scarlet as soon as the words left his mouth and she demanded, "What are you talking about?"
"Oh, puh-lease, Jac," James replied, enjoying how uncomfortable he was making her. "Everyone knows that you two have been sneaking up to the Astronomy Tower since the Halloween Ball."
Jaclyn opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly wishing she had bitten the bullet and chosen dare. "Well, er, Gideon is really nice and, well, I don't know, we'll see what happens between us in the future."
James opened his mouth to say more, but Sirius interrupted and said, "Moving forward - Jaclyn, your turn."
"You'll get yours," Jaclyn warned James, reaching forward and spinning the wand - which stopped in front of James. The teenagers laughed loudly, while James swallowed hard, giving Jaclyn an apologetic look.
"What do you say, James?" Jaclyn asked, her eyes dancing playfully.
"I think I'm going to take my chances with dare," James replied.
"Oh, I am so glad to hear that," Jaclyn said. "James Potter, I dare you to the above flat and propose to whoever answers the door."
The room was filled with howls of laughter while James stared at Jaclyn with a "you've-got-to-be-kidding" look on his face. When she just continued to stare at him smartly, he said, "Alright."
The six of them put on cloaks and shoes, all of them going to the flat above, but only James going to the door. The other five hid behind the corner, trying to control their laughter as James shot them a reproachful look. He pressed down on the doorbell and swallowed hard as he waited for someone to come to the door.
After a few moments, the door opened, revealing a tall man with curly black hair, his green eyes wide with confusion. "Can I help you?"
'Bloody hell,' James thought to himself, fully aware of the fact that his friends could hear every word he was saying. "Sir, I have been watching you for many weeks now. I've seen the things you buy at the grocery, the items that you see fit to put into the garbage bin. I - I, well, I think that the only thing I can say is that I am completely and utterly smitten with you."
The man looked at James in disbelief, glancing over his shoulder as though expecting someone to be there with a hidden camera or something of the sort. "Is this some kind of joke?"
"No," James replied fervently, becoming wrapped up in the character. "I, well, I think that there is only one thing two young gents like ourselves can do in times like this." He dropped to one knee, closed his eyes as though struggling for words, then looked up at the man, who clearly thought he was insane, and said, "Will you marry me?"
For what felt like hours, the man stared at James, his mouth hanging open. Finally, he said in a hushed voice, "Look, my boyfriend is back in our bedroom. If he weren't here, I'd be all over you. Maybe you could come back later tonight?"
James tried to ignore the fact that his friends were now laughing uncontrollably and got to his feet. "Uh…sure. Maybe."
"Great," the man replied, then said, "My name is Kevin, by the way."
After the door closed, James stared at the Christmas wreath hanging on it for a few moments before turning to look at his friends, who were all still laughing at his situation. Jamie and Jaclyn exchanged high fives and Lily called out, "Looks like I lost my boyfriend to another man."
"Ha-ha, guys," James replied, narrowing his eyes and leading them back to Sirius's flat.
Once they were all seated again, James glared at Jaclyn one more time, who was looking as though she was quite pleased with herself. "Anyways," James said curtly, spinning the wand so it landed on Jamie. He made eye contact with his cousin, who was sitting between Remus's legs, his arms wrapped around her. "Well?"
"Uh," Jamie, thought, unsure of what she wanted to wage her dignity for, and decided on, "Truth, I suppose."
"Well, I'm going to ask this, even though we all know the answer, my prude cousin," James started, obviously wanting to make everyone's lives miserable that day. "Are you a virgin?"
"Why do my family members always ask me the sex questions?" Jamie asked, glancing at Jaclyn, who shrugged at her. "No, I'm not."
"What?" Jaclyn demanded. "But before you said you and Remus hadn't shagged yet!"
"Yes," Jamie shrugged.
"Wait, you had sex with someone before me?" Remus asked, pulling away from Jamie.
"Wait, you two have?" Jaclyn asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Am I ever glad I suggested this," Lily muttered, looking guilty.
"Who?" Remus demanded of Jamie.
"Why don't you guys just leave her alone?" Sirius put in, clearing his throat. "I'm thinking we should do something else."
Remus whipped around and looked from Sirius to Jamie. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."
"Remus, wait!" Jamie called as he swiftly got to his feet, storming out of the room and leaving the others.
"Jamie, when did - "
"Jaclyn, this is not the time," Jamie snapped at her, jumping to her own feet.
"I'll go talk to him," Sirius offered.
"No, I'll do it," Jamie resigned, leaving the same way Remus did.
"So, uh, about those Cannons," James said lamely after a few moments of silence, not succeeding in alleviating the tension around them.
"Remus, where are you?" Jamie called, hurrying through Sirius's flat, becoming more and more annoyed with the situation with every step she took. "You are completely and utterly blowing this out of proportion!"
She burst into the bedroom she was sharing with Remus to find him pacing the room, not even looking up to look at her when she took a few timid steps toward him after closing the door. After a few moments of Jamie watching Remus pace, she cleared her throat.
"Can we talk?"
"Yes," Remus replied shortly, skidding to a stop in front of her, his eyes flashing in a manner she'd never seen before. "You can start by telling me when you had sex with my best friend."
"When I was still dating him!" Jamie replied shrilly. "What - did you think I cheated on you with the man that cheated on me? Is that really what you think of me, Remus?"
Remus stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment, then recovered. He tried to calm himself down, as most of the reason he was upset was alleviated, only leaving a different question on his mind. "You only dated him for a year."
"Not even," Jamie sighed, glad that he finally stopped yelling. "Look, it only happened twice, just before it was over. I had thought that if I just gave in to him and slept with him he'd stop cheating on me. Nevertheless, then I found out he hadn't, so I broke up with him. I was only fifteen and didn't know any better."
"It took you over two years to - "
"Love, he hurt me bad," Jamie interrupted, feeling tears rise to her face. "I didn't want to get hurt again or do any hurting for the matter - especially to someone I love as much as you. Sex complicates relationships to no end and I didn't want to take something as complex and intimate as it so lightly with you."
Remus looked at her in silence, feeling guilty as her tears began to flow down her face, then turned to sit on the bed. He gave Jamie a look that invited her to sit next to him and she obliged. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Well, I knew you'd get mad, for one," Jamie explained to him, glancing away. "Second, I didn't really think that it mattered all too much. It was a stupid decision I made in desperation because I thought I was in love, although now I know how wrong I was, because I'm in love with you, Remus."
Remus looked away from Jamie, obviously a little embarrassed at the situation. He swallowed, then looked at her meekly. "I'm sorry - I think I might have overreacted."
"You think?" Jamie asked, smirking at him.
"It just seems as though there are a lot of things you haven't told me and I'm finding them all out at once," Remus added, lying back in their bed with Jamie following him.
"How so?" she asked.
"Well, you hadn't told me about your Uncle Richard or this," Remus suggested. "Jamie, you don't think we're rushing into this wedding thing too much, do you?"
Jamie cocked her head in a surprised way, her eyes wide. "Are you rethinking it?"
"No, not at all," Remus insisted, putting his hand on her own. "I was just wondering what you were thinking."
"I'm thinking that if I didn't want to marry you, I wouldn't have said yes when you asked me back in September," Jamie replied, laying her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.
"Promise?" Remus asked, running his fingers through her hair.
"I promise, love," came her reply as she pulled their dark blue comforter up over them. She leaned up and kissed him softly before laying back down next to him.
"I'm sorry I got so angry," he added, rolling over onto his side and putting his hand on her stomach, running his fingers across her.
"It's alright," Jamie said, wiggling out of his t-shirt and leaving only her tank top.
Taking her hint, Remus settled above her, steadying himself with one hand above her head as the other one ventured underneath her tank top. Jamie pulled his face down to her own and began to passionately kiss him, his lips feeling where her face was still wet from her tears.
"I love you," Remus murmured, her hands reaching down and pulling his t-shirt over his head.
"I love you, too," Jamie replied, her hands trailing his chest. "So much."
"They're fine," Lily reported, walking into the living room and seating herself on the couch next to James.
"How do you know?" Sirius asked.
"I'd rather not talk about it," Lily answered, giving him a look.
"Oh," Sirius nodded, understanding.
"I don't get it," Jaclyn mused, sitting cross-legged next to the Christmas tree. "Why didn't she tell me?"
"She only told me because I figured it out," Lily shrugged.
"Jamie isn't the kind of person that tells everyone the intimate things in her life," James explained, looking up from the Quidditch book Jamie had given him. "She's been like that all her life."
"Besides, she probably didn't want you to get all green-eyed and jealous," Sirius added.
When Jaclyn opened her mouth angrily to protest, Lily said, "Oh, come on, Jac, don't pretend you weren't upset when you kept grilling her for information, despite that she was mid-row with Remus."
Jaclyn closed her mouth, feeling incredibly uncomfortable, despite that she was surrounded by her closest friends. She forced herself to shrug and said, "I was just surprised."
"Sure," James replied, returning his gaze to his book. "I hate to be the frank one here, but the two of you need to get over your little crushes on them before you get crushed even worse. It's nice that you like them, but, still - would you really be willing to hurt your friends in order to get what you want?"
"Not to mention, do you honestly think it would work out if you did break them up?" Lily added.
Jaclyn got to her feet silently, retreating to the library. Sirius shook his head at his two friends after Jaclyn left. "I don't think that it's really any of your business."
"It is when you're messing with my best friend," Lily replied, almost heatedly as though threatening Sirius if he said more.
"Besides, I'm over her," Sirius insisted, getting to his feet as well and gathering his things. "I'm going to turn in early. See the two of you in the morning."
"Good night," James said to his best mate as he left the room.
"Were we out of line?" Lily asked James, giving him a concerned look.
"Someone had to say it," James sighed.
Author's Note: Went from silly to pretty serious quite quickly there, eh?
Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!