Advocate

Disclaimer: CLAMP owns it. I play with it.

Pairings: Split evenly between Seishirou x Subaru and Kakyou x Hokuto

Warnings: Violence, blood, male-male. If you have a problem with shounen ai or blood...you're in the wrong fandom. This is CLAMP, so blood is a given.

Author's note: This chapter is probably the damn sweetest thing I've ever written. (Well, as sweet as it gets with Seishirou, anyway)

It is also the last chapter of this story. :( Am I sad? Hmm...probably a little, yes. I really loved writing this, even after the little glitches and looong waiting time earlier on...anyway. Enough talking.

... Advocate ...

Chapter Ten – Draw

Just as his vision flickered and the restless, angered spirit opened a gaping and bloody mouth, meaning to sink it's teeth into the onmyouji, arms wrapped around him and a steady chant breathed in his ear.

Seishirou.

He had come back after all. The man's arms were crossed in front of the exhausted Sumeragi, an onslaught of offensive magic spilling from the large hands Subaru knew so well. Hands that had touched his face, stroked his hair, run over his lips and tickled his sides affectionately. Hands that had gripped and twisted and pushed and hurt. Hands that had killed, and would kill again.

Hands that had always been there to save him.

Green eyes snapped open, and Subaru brought his hands up in front of Seishirou's, adding his voice to the other's chant and letting their magic mix together, strengthening the spell. With the onslaught of both the onmyouji and the assassin, the weakened spirit broke with a loud, mournful howl, turning it's maw to the sky and dissipating. Subaru staggered, watching it fade into the afterlife, just like that. He could feel Seishirou's hands clamped down on his shoulders as the older man's chant died on his lips. He took a moment to reflect on the oddness of the Sakurazukamori and the head of the Sumeragi head working together. Then, when Seishirou went to pull his hands away, slender, ungloved fingers reached up to keep the older man's left hand in place on his shoulder. He looked up over it and met Seishirou's gaze steadily. That single amber eye overflowed with love and death, concern and ruthlessness...and everything in between. "Seishirou..." An unspoken 'you came back' lingered at the end of the whispered name.

"Are you alright?" Seishirou said quietly. It hadn't been what he'd planned to say to Subaru when he made his reappearance, but then, part of him had been toying with staying far away until 1999 forced them together again, like he had last time. That way he wouldn't have to face Subaru, and his own lingering feelings he still wasn't sure were even there beyond the reality of passing on his legacy.

"That isn't what you really want to say, is it?" Subaru turned around, holding onto Seishirou's hand and squeezing. Holding hands seemed such a big stretch. There were no gloves between their fingers anymore, no fabric to hide the mark that scarred Subaru's skin and marked him as Seishirou's. Almost by habit, Seishirou lifted the younger's hand and kissed the back of it. There was a long moment of silence as Subaru appraised Seishirou. He knew now that the sweet, good-natured side of Seishirou that once kissed his hand and teased him all the time was a complete lie. The Seishirou he had fallen for never existed in the first place. This couldn't be the man he loved, except that he simply was. There was an honest sort of desperation about the older man, who wasn't comfortable in the situation and had fallen completely out of his depth. Had tried to run away from it.

That, Subaru could understand. He always felt like that when he was around Seishirou. He shook his head, trying to believe there was more to Seishirou than his actions suggested. He jumped when the other began speaking, and had to think to remember his question.

"No. It isn't. Subaru...forgive me." Seishirou muttered, as though the words hurt to say.

"I already have." It came easily, and Subaru found he didn't have the energy nor the mental capacity to be angry at Seishirou anymore.

Seishirou's eyes widened fractionally, uncomprehending. He'd never had to forgive, nor beg forgiveness. It was an alien concept, one of those many things his much younger self had scoffed at. Who needed love, faith, forgiveness and joy when you were Seishirou Sakurazuka? Once again Subaru's unwavering determination to see the good in everything and everyone was shining like a beacon in his dark, solitary world and challenging his core beliefs.

Damn brat.

"But..." Subaru continued, tensing his shoulders. The temperature dropped as his eyes froze over and he stared hard at Seishirou. The older man blinked. Never had he seen such an expression on the boy before, not even in the previous timeline when he'd had every right to be cold and aloof. It was sobering. Subaru actually had a spine, the innocent little boy he had toyed with for fun was gone, replaced by an intense and clear-headed teenager. It didn't help that Subaru wore the image beautifully – and that was something Seishirou had always had to admit. The boy was frighteningly attractive. "...If this is all a lie..." Subaru continued, "If you're still trying to decieve me...I will kill you before you can hurt me again." Then, the frightening intensity vanished, and Subaru's arms slipped around his waist, having already made his decision. Exhausted, he rested his head against Seishirou's chest. Too tired to be embarrassed, or worried about anyone seeing. People must have gathered, half of the building had come down...was probably still on fire...

Seishirou remained silent, scooping Subaru up by the tops of his legs. A shocked squeak, and Subaru forgot about the wreckage, hands gripping Seishirou's shoulders. Then he relaxed, and looped them around his neck, looking down at the assassin, who swung him down and into his arms. "I...let's...I'll take you home." He finished lamely, lost for words of any substance. Subaru had forgiven him, after all that drama. It had been that easy. 'I already have'. His plan had come crashing around his ears, and somhow...Seishirou didn't care. Ignoring the slightly scary declaration at the end there, that conversation had been shockingly romantic, for Seishirou.

The trip back to Subaru's apartment passed in something of a daze. Seishirou watched Subaru's face all the way back, not really paying attention to their surroundings. The younger boy's eyes were shut, fingers loosely clutching Seishirou's lapel. He'd carried Subaru before, many times, but not when the boy was awake. It was almost a surprise that he was awake, the teenager was dripping blood, covered in cuts and bruises, and there was definitely glass lodged in his bare arm. His clothes were torn up and his hair a mess, matted in places and sticking up all over in others. Sure, his eyes were shut, but Seishirou knew he was consciously allowing this, relaxing into his hold, maybe even curling closer. It only served to confuse him even more. He fumbled with the keys he fished from Subaru's coat pocket, almost dropping them, and let himself into the apartment, closing the door softly behind him.

Carrying the exhausted onmyouji into his bedroom and sitting him on the edge of the bed, Seishirou's eyes were soft as he pressed their foreheads together. With an odd sort of twisty feeling in his chest, he noticed that Subaru was crying. Again. It was a sight he was used to, by now. He had seen Subaru's tears a thousand times, been their cause another thousand times over. Using the pad of his thumb to brush the tears from Subaru's cheeks, his head felt unusually clear. "Stop crying." He muttered, not entirely sure he knew how to deal with tears he didn't make. At least, he assumed he didn't make them. He really couldn't be sure. Subaru swiped at his eyes with muttered apology, and it gratified Seishirou to know that little hints of the boy he'd chased all over Tokyo were still there. The boy's long, damp lashes fluttered a little as he stared back at the older man.

"I...I still love you...even though you...even though this is..."

Seishirou understood. He knew what the boy was trying to say. Even though you know I betrayed you, once. Even though you know that the part of me you fell for is a lie. Even though you know that, once upon a time, I killed your sister and broke your heart. His single amber eye blinked, and he caught and held Subaru's tearful green gaze. "I..." Seishirou couldn't speak. He still didn't know what to say, and perhaps he never would, but did it really matter? In the end, he settled for something he'd asked himself over and over, torturing himself with it until he'd pushed himself to the brink of insanity.

"What have you done to me, Subaru?"

A sharp intake of breath. The little onmyouji pressed himself unconsciously closer to Seishirou, and the bed creaked a little from the movement. How Seishirou came to be embracing him, hugging him tight against his body, he would never remember, or be able to explain, but he found himself in that position regardless, running a comforting hand up and down the younger's back. He'd done it before, a hundred times, in his friendly veterinarian disguise. But this time, the game was up. There was no ulterior motive, if only because Seishirou was simply too tired to think of one. He had lost that stupid bet, and he knew it, had known it all along. Snuggled against the warmth, Subaru's tears slowed, and finally stopped. He didn't move when Seishirou tugged at the remnants of his jumper and gently pulled it off, only wincing when rather than trying to pull it over his head, the man took the fabric in both his hands and ripped it apart to get it off. He tensed when the fabric stuck to several open wounds, aggravating inflamed skin.

Silence reigned as Seishirou began to slowly patch Subaru up, save for the odd hiss of pain. Two first aid kits lay open beside him and a large, pink-tinged bowl of water filled with cloths sat on the floor by the bed where Subaru was sitting, swaying slightly. Seishirou gently cleaned and bandaged the more serious cuts, and gently extracted three shards of glass from the younger's bare, bloody arm. It took a very patient half an hour to properly clean and patch up everything, and once he was finished, Seishirou settled himself next to Subaru on the bed, unsurprised when the teenager sniffled and latched onto him, fingers shaking and tightening in an effort to circumvent the pain. For all he must have been in quite a lot of it, he had hardly made a sound. Hopefully the painkillers he'd given Subaru would kick in soon enough. By now, the sun had set, and Seishirou glanced out of the window as the sky darkened and stars winked at him through the clouds.

He sighed and returned the younger boy's embrace. Bright eyes blinked up at him, and the Sakurazukamori allowed himself to be gently pushed backwards onto the bed. Subaru hovered over him, a slight frown creasing his bandaged forehead as he scrutinised the older man. Seishirou blinked, confused. "What are you – "

"Let me know you..." Subaru answered simply, before the man could finish. Stunned, Seishirou was silent as soft hands traced the contours of his face. Unfamiliar emotion welled up inside him, and he struggled to understand how he could possibly be so in love with the teenager hovering over him. It was strange, he thought, to care so much about one person. And really, to care at all. Everything he'd kept hidden his whole life was streaming out and muddling his head with confusion just from Subaru's gentle, hesitant touch. How had it come to this? Was this really all because of one wish made by a dead girl who couldn't bear to see her brother suffer? It hadn't just been him, obviously, he wasn't the sort of person who...he paused that line of thought. She hadn't forced him to do things differently. Hokuto had just...been there. Watching him. Challenging his very beliefs and ideals and making him lose sight of his real goal. Without thinking, he lifted one hand to caress the younger onmyouji's face, the pad of his thumb stroking the boy's porcelain cheek. He'd always wondered what it might be like to touch Subaru like this, innocently, gently, with no intention in mind other than to feel how soft his skin was under cool fingers.

They stayed like this for a long time, Subaru lying on top of Seishirou, his fingers touching, stroking, caressing the other's face and neck. Seishirou kept one hand on Subaru's cheek, the other on the small of his back. Eventually, the older onmyouji sighed. "I am still the Sakurazukamori. You've seen me for who I really am, you've watched me do what I really do. Do you still want to know me?"

"If you'll let me."

"I can't change for you."

"...You already have. You didn't kill her. Not this time, when you could so easily have just done exactly the same and left me to suffer the way you did the first time. You've given both me and my sister the chance to live again, and by letting Hokuto-chan live, you've saved Kakyou-san, too..." Seishirou digested this, and then slowly rolled them over so he leant over Subaru, careful not to squash his small frame under his larger body. "Not intentionally. You're too sentimental, Subaru-kun."

The green eyed onmyouji blushed, then, and smiled. "Enough for both of us, so you don't have to be." Seishirou couldn't help it; he laughed. Underneath him, Subaru's smile brightened, and his eyes sparkled with such sudden affection that it took the older man's breath away. This...sweetness was so alien to him, and it felt...good. Just like Hokuto had promised. Damn her.

"I made you a promise once. If you could make me fall in love with you in one year, I would love only you, and protect only you. Forever." The words felt heavy on his tongue, old. Careless, almost, which he supposed they were, the careless whims of an emotionally stunted, psychopathic teenager faced with his polar opposite for the first time.

Subaru let his gaze wander, and he glanced out of the window, at the pale moonlight struggling through the clouds and casting soft light on the bed they lay in. "And will you?"

"...I will love you, and protect you, to whatever end, and at whatever cost. And if that means being civil to Hokuto-chan, and Kakyou-kun, too, then so be it." He said sincerely, wondering if Subaru would believe him after all the lies and deception. He had never been so desperate for the boy to see that he was telling the truth. He needed to be believed. And not just because of some insidious plot or underhanded purpose, but because he didn't know what he'd do if Subaru thought he was lying. He'd tried to run, and this time, hadn't been able to stay away, finally forced to face up to everything he'd always denied. He'd never spoken truer words, and he'd only now realised that. He didn't care that it wasn't allowed, he didn't care if he was defying some greater plan. Let destiny take issue, he didn't care. Why had he never seen that he could love Subaru, that it didn't matter? He could choose what he wanted, he was the Sakurazukamori, nothing told him what to do. It had taken death (and Hokuto) to make him realise it.

"Subaru-kun..." He leaned close, gratified by the sudden appearance of a flush on the younger boy's pretty face, and brushed his lips against Subaru's cheek. He knew now that there had been a point when emotional control, something Seishirou had always been proud to have, had darkened into something worse, something akin to heartlessness. And had he had his way, he would have remained (outwardly) as such until he died. Except for Subaru. Really, he had sealed his own fate by not killing the boy when he first met him under the sakura tree. By giving him the chance to get under his skin, he had destroyed his own strict control. Subaru had completely undone him. He moved his lips to press a second, chaste kiss on the younger boy's lips, delighting in the way Subaru squirmed at his touch.

Pulling away, he gazed down at Subaru, letting his face curl into a genuine, soft smile. Subaru just yawned, and the older man stopped hovering and lay beside him, impulsively drawing the young onmyouji against him. Subaru, it seemed, was happy to curl up, head resting in the crook of Seishirou's arm. The older man shook his head. How could he be so...forgiving? After everything that had happened, the teenager was happy to just...lie there, in his arms, completely trusting and relaxed. There would be nothing to stop him destroying the Sumeragi, nothing at all. He kept watching, even as the boy slept, unhaunted by nightmares, and every so often snuggling closer, enjoying the warmth.

Seishirou didn't know how long he lay there, fully clothed, in bed, watching him.

But he probably could have done it forever.

... Advocate ...

Hokuto danced on the lawn in Ueno park, pulling Kakyou behind her, singing at the top of her voice. Kakyou pulled her to a stop after a few moments, and she stumbled. The pair tumbled to the ground, and the yumemi wrapped his slender arms around the giggling girl as they rolled on the grass. She wound her own arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. It turned out that the easiest way to help Kakyou had lain in Seishirou's hands – a few well placed threats, and his domineering mother and her mafia connections had backed off and disappeared. It had taken a while to convince Seishirou to do it, and several threats to his manhood on the part of Hokuto, but he had done it, and Kakyou was free.

The blonde boy pulled away. "No dancing. Not yet." He whispered, eyes tired.

She cocked her head. "I'm sorry, Kyou-chan.."

"Don't be...not ever."

Hokuto smiled fondly and rolled them over, sitting up on his legs and watching as he spread out his arms to feel the grass beneath them, a blissed expression on his face. She would never get tired of looking at his face every time they went outside, and he made it far enough to reach the grass he loved to feel under his feet. He was still unsteady on his feet, and he had to stop a lot to sit down...but he was free, and he was getting stronger every day. As she looked down at him, and he opened his eyes to look back, she felt her heart burst with love. Leaning down, she brushed their lips together in another chaste kiss. It was funny, when she'd invisaged who she might fall for when she was a little girl, it had always been someone tall, dark and handsome – much like Seishirou. But instead, she was head over heels for a tall, thin blonde boy who was more slender than even Subaru, and just as effeminately pretty. But he was her Kakyou, and that was the most important thing.

"Hokuto-chan!" She looked up and over at Subaru, who waved at her from underneath a sakura sapling, sitting up against it with his legs draped over Seishirou's lap, feet resting on a picnic blanket. It had been a little over a week since Seishirou had come back, and he and Subaru had finally reconciled. In that week, she'd watched her shy little brother burst out of his shell and throw himself into a real relationship with the Sakurazukamori. It was the vision she'd dreamt of when she'd played her very last, desperate ace. It seemed so long ago, now. She looked up at Kakyou, who had struggled to his feet. Kakyou, dressed like a normal teenager, standing straight and on his own two feet. Still tired, and still sick, but getting better, and brighter with each passing day. Both her dreams had flourished. A thrill of blissful happiness rushed through her.

"Yeah, we're coming!"

They walked over to her brother and their best friend slowly, Hokuto being mindful of Kakyou's every exhausted stumble. When they reached the picnic blanket, Subaru jumped up to give Kakyou his arm, and between the two twins, they helped the taller boy sit on the ground. Hokuto's cooked lunch quickly made an appearance, and before too long it was all covered in falling sakura blossom anyway. "My food!" She wailed, amid laughter from the three boys. "Shut up, it's not funny! Can't you tell the pink fluff to behave, Sei-chan?" She whinged.

"Not all 'pink fluff' does my bidding, Hokuto-chan." Seishirou muttered, affronted at her demeaning attitude towards his work. Pink fluff indeed.

Subaru caught a petal and tickled Seishirou's nose with it. "Pink fluff." He snorted, and Hokuto smiled gently. She knew her brother would never advocate Seishirou's lifestyle. But he had accepted who his lover was, and that there had to be a Sakurazukamori. She sighed happily – her brother and his partner were the original starcrossed lovers. And she had been integral in getting them together. Not to mention she had kept her promise to Kakyou and freed him.

The older boy snuggled up to her, and rested his blonde head on her shoulder. She pulled him close, determined to never let him go again. If Subaru could have Seishirou, she would have Kakyou...and maybe the family she'd always dreamed of having. It seemed silly to imagine what children made by her and Kakyou might look like, but she was Hokuto, and Hokuto was nothing if not an optimist. They would be beautiful, and her brother would always be by her side, protecting them, and he would be protected by Seishirou, so nothing would ever hurt him again. Kakyou's warm golden eyes caught hers, and she smiled, reaching up to stroke his face with one finger. "I love you." She mouthed, delighting in the gentle flush that rose to pale cheeks.

"I love you too..." He murmured back, looking up at her from her shoulder before letting his eyes flutter shut and returning to his doze.

She listened as Seishirou muttered something about having to look after a too-skinny, irresponsible onmyouji, a hyperactive fangirl and a narcoleptic dreamseer, and then giggled when Subaru admonished him, slapping his leg. "Three...two...one..." She murmured, and right on cue, her brother squealed as Seishirou swept him into a kiss, it being his newest and most preferred method to shut up the younger onmyouji's babble. She lay back on the grass, taking her sleeping boyfriend with her, and closed her eyes, face warm in the spring sun.

Everything was perfect.

... Advocate ...

"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home."

...The End.

If that was HORRIBLY over-mushy, blame the soundtrack of X - 1999, the smoother songs of which I was listening to as I wrote it. Oh, and a lot of Christina Perri. Emotional stuff. Either that or I am just a sad old woman. The lyrics at the bottom here are from one of two songs that basically wrote this chapter for me, 'Arms' and 'A Thousand Years'.

Note that Seishirou isn't completely free of dark thoughts. A lot of them permeate his last few paragraphs in this story, and whilst the two of them have, essentially, come together in something that might be construed as a happy ending, Seishirou still has a whole heap of emotional issues to work through. And Subaru has yet to fully understand what he's getting into reference Seishirou's work. As yet, he doesn't comprehend it, he thinks he's accepted Seishirou, but hasn't yet faced the reality of living with a killer as a boyfriend.

In this vein...this is the first part of a trilogy. The follow-up story will see Subaru facing this reality, and it will also explore Seishirou's job and lifestyle more thoroughly – how he does it, why he does it and what effect it has on his relationship with Subaru. Of course, there will be a new antagonist to throw a spanner in the works, not to mention Subaru's family getting involved...

Following that will hopefully be a third story concerning the events of 'X', which will likely be very different now Hokuto is alive, Kakyou is free and Seishirou and Subaru are very much a couple :)

So look out for those! AND THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ANYONE WHO STUCK WITH THIS. I LOVE YOU. SO MUCH. ;w;