AN: Thanks for the reviews guys, I love hearing what you thought :) Sorry it took me this long to update, but here you go! I really hope you'll like it.
Eleanor really was not one for sea travel. It had been evident the time she crossed the Atlantic twice and it was evident now as she hung over the railing, parting with her breakfast. Charles had been nowhere to be seen since the beginning of their trip, and she did not mind one bit, as she preferred no one having to witness her on a moment of weakness. Just as she combed the hair back on its place with her fingers, Charles came to her, with a reluctant looking Jack Rackham and a forever angry looking Anne Bonny in his tow. Charles' face was unreadable as it often was, but she was alarmed by the fact that he gripped her arm by her elbow, bringing her body quite close to his.
"We need to get married," he said without further ado. Just out of the blue, like he was telling her what the weather was like, or what he had eaten for breakfast. Just like that. For a moment Eleanor just stared at him and then laughed, for surely he was joking, that was the only explanation. However, there was not a trace of amusement on his face and his eyebrows knitted together. He stared at her until she stopped laughing. He said nothing else, nothing to explain this thing he had just told her out of the blue, so she was forced to open her mouth to question him.
"Have you lost your wits?" she asked, with a hint of that laughter still evident in her voice. He shook his head in a determined manner.
"If we wish to travel to the continent in the ordinary manner, we can't be travelling like this, an unmarried pregnant woman travelling with an unmarried man who happens to be unrelated to her. You know this." Now it was her turn to stare him down. He had done this now? With no warning and just expected her to go along with it. She felt anger rising inside her, and yet she knew he was right. And god be damned if she didn't hate it when he was right and she was wrong.
"Well, why not pretend we are related then," she countered with her chin lifted up in defiance, but saying it more out of stubbornness than for actually thinking it was a sound idea. Now it was his turn to laugh. She couldn't stop thinking about how his hand was still on her elbow and how his other arm was lingering so close to her hips. Stop thinking about that, Eleanor, she cursed herself, but the closeness to his body was always something that affected her, she could not help it. She got so distracted by his touch for a moment, that she almost forgot what they were arguing about until he countered her suggestion.
"Do you think we can act worth shit?" he said and turned to look at his friends for affirmation.
"Yes, I believe Charles is right, and as he so eloquently put it, you two can't act worth shit. You two posing as relatives would most likely end up being more scandalous than an unmarried pregnant woman traveling alone with a single man," Jack concluded with an uncomfortable look on his face. Eleanor looked from Jack to Charles, and decided that Charles had not in fact lost his wits. She sighed with resignation. She hated being wrong, even if the wrongness of her opinion was caused by his sudden insistence that she marry him. But this was not just about her, it was about their safe passage to Louisiana. So she just had to accept it, for once in her life.
"Didn't ever really think I would see this day," she murmured, unsure what on earth she was feeling in that moment.
"Neither did I," he said with ease, but his tone was uneven.
"Very well then, when shall this marriage take place, then?" she tried to sound focused on the facts, but really what she wanted to do was just chant 'I am marrying Charles Vane' over and over again. It seemed unbelievable, it couldn't be really happening, could it?
"Now," was what he said in reply. "Jack's the Captain of the ship, he will marry us," Charles stated. Eleanor turned to look at Jack, the reluctant face he had been making made a lot more sense now. Eleanor opened her mouth to say something, perhaps protest, but nothing came out. Then she took a deep breath to compose herself.
"Very well then. If you care to wait for a while, I'd like to get married dressed looking less like a peasant," she said and motioned to her modest dress. In reality she just needed five minutes alone to make sure she was not dreaming. Charles nodded and let go of her arm and she fled to the captain's cabin where Charles and she had left their bags. As the door was shut behind her, she pressed her back against it and let her body slide against it on floor.
"I'm marrying Charles Vane," she whispered and pinched her arm. It hurt. She was most definitely not dreaming this. Here she was, getting married to the only man she ever loved, when he held no feelings toward her. The fact that this was a marriage of convenience should not have weighed so heavily on her mind, but she could not help it. She had never dreamed of getting married to him, that just wasn't in the cards for them, so there was no point in dreaming about things that would never come to be. And yet here she was now, about to get married to him, the man she stilled loved so much it hurt her, when all he must feel toward her was the duty of taking care of her and the child. A few tears slipped to her cheek, but she dried them quickly and got up. Eleanor Guthrie was not going to wallow in self-pity when she had things to do. Namely getting married.
So she changed into her ivory colored dress and made her way back on the deck where Jack was already standing, near the railing, Charles standing his left side to Jack, his right side and face facing her. On the right hand side Anne and a few men, she did not recognize stood watching her enter. She could feel her whole body tremble. Swallowing, she took the first step toward him, keeping her eyes fixed on his face. He looked as handsome as ever, just like she loved him to look, scruffy and manly with the beard on his cheeks and the hair long and free. He looked exactly like the man she had fallen in love with when she was only sixteen years old. He was older as was she, but he was the same man.
Tears threatened to escape her eyes as she looked at him. He was still there for her, like he had always been. But she pushed the tears aside and in that moment she couldn't help but smile and when she smiled, he smiled as well, and in that moment she forgot all about the fact that this was a marriage of convenience and pretended she was just getting married to the man she loved, and it was a glorious feeling. She felt so happy her chest ached because it couldn't contain all the feelings inside it. Just in a few steps, she was standing next to him, facing him and clasping his hands in hers. They stared at each other, for what seemed like an eternity before Jack cleared his throat and started.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to bear witness to joining this man and this woman in holy matrimony. I shall keep this brief. Do you Charles Vane, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Charles' eyes did not leave hers and the slight tightening of his hands around hers was something she would remember forever.
"I do," he rasped. Her heart must have skipped a beat just then.
"And do you Eleanor Guthrie, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Jack asked.
"I do," she answered, her voice clear and true. She had never meant anything so much in her life. She wanted him, even if just for this day, to be her husband.
"You may exchange the rings now," Jack said, causing Eleanor to panic for a moment, surely there were no rings. There couldn't be, how could there when she had just learned this marriage would be happening ten minutes ago. But somehow Charles reached into the pocket of his breeches and pulled two golden bands out. He took the smaller one in his right hand and slid it into her left ring finger. Her hand suddenly felt heavy under the weight. She took the larger ring from him and mimicked his actions. He then took hold of both her hands, their hands now joined, both wearing matching tokens of commitment.
"I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," Jack finally declared. There was no hesitation from Charles, it was as if he had been expecting this, for right in that moment when Jack told him to kiss his bride, his lips were on her, the hunger so apparent in them her knees felt so weak they might have buckled under her had he not been holding her by the waist then, pressing her against his firm chest. She had not felt those lips in so long and it felt like a homecoming, it truly did, but it also felt like this was the first time. Exciting and new, yet so familiar, and that hunger, that burning, always there. Always.
All too soon, he pulled away from her, her lips immediately longing for his mouth against hers. It felt like a cruel jest to have him kiss her and not let things go further. Her whole body ached for him to touch her, everywhere, and not just with his lips. The distance he had put between them was not much, and his hand was still around her waist. Both their breathing seemed labored as they just gazed into each other's eyes. Of course Jack had to clear his throat then.
"Well then, it is done. You have each other forever now," he said and with that he fled the place, leaving Charles and Eleanor alone in the intimate silence that was lingering between them.
"Forever then," he said with a contemplative tone. Those words almost made her burst with happiness, but she could not forget that voice in her head that told her he did not love her anymore, did not want her anymore.
"So it would seem," she said with the smallest voice, but managed to force a smile on her lips. To have him forever, that was all she wanted. She wanted it almost more than she wanted this child. A part of her did want it more than this child. For all intents and purposes he was now hers, and yet he wasn't. Now she once again got to feel like she was being pulled under the water, drowning her. It was because of him she was drowning, and yet he was the only thing that could save her from doing so. So she looked into the eyes of her husband and screamed inside her head to save her, to love her, to save her by just loving her.
He then brought his hand to brush her hair behind her ear, like he had always done. and said. "Come on then, wife," and all those dreadful thoughts of drowning seemed liked a distant memory. She was married to Charles Vane. Nothing could ruin this day, not even herself.
God... that was the only word in his mind, it was a prayer, repeating in his head over and over again. And Charles Vane was not a religious man, not by any means, but he couldn't help but to worship at her altar, always. And when their lips had finally met each other again after such a long time of separation, he couldn't help but to pray a little. Pray that the moment would last, pray that she would always be by his side, that she would never turn her back on him, that she would never betray him again. That she would just love him.
But as their lips were separated once more, he looked at his wife for the first time with the fear of god within in him. Not god, exactly, but if there was any sort of higher power in this life, he felt afraid of it now. For now, he had her, she was his and he was hers, for the rest of their lives. Or at least that was what he had promised to her, a promise he would keep, but when he looked at her, all he could see was uncertainty. And Eleanor Guthrie was never uncertain, she knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to get it. But this woman standing before him seemed unsure, the unsureness only disappearing when he had pulled her body as close to his as he could get her and pressed his lips on hers.
That kiss had held everything he wanted in life. Her touch, her attention, her love. But could she ever love him, or had she even ever loved him? Those questions troubled Charles more than he cared to admit, and the words of Jack, Anne, Teach and everyone who knew him were running through his head, telling him she would never love him like he had loved her. But most of all, it was his own feverish dream of her that told him that. She could never be less than, that's what she had told him in the dream, and he had always known that to be true. Now she was his wife. Even if she still held some feelings of affection toward him, could she now ever feel like his equal. To him, she was never his lesser. Never. To him she was his life. The end and the beginning of it. And that god be damned if it once more ripped his life from him.