Hey Everyone~

Gosh, it's been a long time, hasn't it? And I left you with a cliffy too! Words can't convey how sorry I am.

Anywho. Now since university acceptances are out, and my future has been guaranteed (UW, here I come!), I'll start updating a heck of a lot faster~

Hope you enjoy Chapter 11!

Disclaimer: Ouran isn't mine. Nope. Everything belongs to the magical Hatori Bisco.

Melody sat, perched on the living room couch, her sketchpad on her thighs, pencil in hand. More than anything, she wanted to bolt, hide, run away and never look back. But she couldn't leave without saying goodbye, like a coward.

She couldn't leave without seeing Kaoru one more time.

All the muscles in her body seemed to tense when she heard footsteps on the stairs.

He was barely in the door, panting from the run up, when he said, "I'm sorry."

Melody felt her breath hitch. Desperately trying to swallow the lump in her throat, she closed her notepad and started to stand up. But before she could get to her feet, he was skidding to a stop in front of her on his knees.

He put his large hands on her knees, effectively holding her down and keeping her in place.

"Let me try. Please."

The warmth of his hand burned up her leg, throughout her body. Almost instantly, the butterflies in her stomach began fluttering again. She couldn't refuse him anything. Not yet. Not when she wanted this so badly.

Unable to trust her voice, she nodded.

"You asked me some questions a couple of days ago," Kaoru started, "I want to answer them now. Or at least try. I don't know if I know all of the answers yet, but this time we've spent together is helping me figure them out a little."

She thought she had wanted this. This opening up. This was what she had been dreaming about since high school. This moment had been the center of her adolescent fantasies for as long as she could remember. She thought she had wanted this more than anything.

Then why does it feel like my heart is barely beating?

"I came to your apartment that night because I-"

His voice faltered and her heart ached for him. "You don't need to tell me this, Kaoru."

"Don't let me off easy this time, Mel."

She felt her eyes widen as she took in his beautiful face. He was asking her to help him. And even though her heart was breaking, she would.

"I won't." She paused, before hitting him with, "So why? What happened?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I almost screwed up a show. A big one. That dress. It was supposed to launch Hitachiin Industries into a new era. But I ruined it. All of Hitachiin Industries could have collapsed. And it would have been my fault."

She couldn't' stop her swift intake of breath. But at the same time, she couldn't believe him either.

"What really happened?"

"I was exhausted."

"I know. I remember how wiped you were."

"I should have gone home, but I stayed at the show instead. Because I didn't' have any reason to go home." He reached out, stroked her cheek. "Because I didn't have anyone to go home to."

She couldn't help the half smile that graced her lips. "I know how that feels."

"Hikaru was trying to tell me to get some rest. He said he could take over, but I wouldn't listen. And then the dress – and the model – and – "

She leaned over and put her hand over his mouth. "Everybody makes mistakes, Kaoru."

That was a bad idea. Touching his mouth was a bad idea.

Now all she could think about was covering it with her lips.

Taking away her hand, feeling it tremble as she put it back on her lap, she asked, "How did it go?"

"I called to check in and Hikaru said it went fine. Everything else was a huge hit. No thanks to me."

"Funny," she said, "I never thought you'd be the self-pitying type."

His eyebrows went up. "Is that what I'm doing?"

"Maybe. I wasn't there with you at the show, but it sounds like you've already beaten yourself up pretty bad about it. And besides," she said with a grin that she didn't' really feel, "it finally got you to my door, didn't it?"

"I shouldn't have taken that, Melody."

But it had.

She drank in his chiseled features, the warm amber eyes that had always been closed to her until a few days ago. If she stayed another sixty seconds, she'd be tasting his mouth again. Ripping off his clothes…

Nope. Stop thinking like that.

It was time for her to go.

Clearly sensing her thoughts, he gripped the skirt of her dress in his fist.

"You also asked me if I like being a designer. If I became one for Hikaru and Haruhi. A week ago, I would have told you I loved my job. I don't really know anymore. But yes, they're the reason why."

"Don't let what happened one night when you were tired change the colour of your career. You still love it. I know you do. Just like I know how thankful Hikaru and Haruhi must be. We all know what you've done for them. How much you've given up."

"When Karin was born," Kaoru said softly, his eyes going slightly unfocused as he faded back into memories, "Hikaru was so happy. It wasn't just us anymore – he had someone who needed him. Needed him more than I did. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I did all the travelling for the business. I had to keep Hitachiin running for both of us. Whenever he didn't have time for something, I made sure I did. Whenever he took a risk, I made sure to play it safe. So there'd always be one of us there to fall back on."

"You've never had a chance to let loose before," Melody asked softly, "have you?"

"Not until you, sweetheart."

His sweetheart shot like an arrow straight through her heart.

He must have seen the pain her face, because he was suddenly saying. "Sorry isn't good enough for the way I behaved in front of Haruhi."

"You don't have to apologize for being honest. For feeling what you feel." She moved her hands over his and squeezed them. "I'm really, really happy for you. I'm really glad that you're finally starting to work through everything."

"Please don't' say but."

She had to.

"But you were right."

His amber eyes flared with something that looked a lot like fear.

"No sweetheart. I wasn't."

"You were. You and me, we're not going to work."

She didn't' want to be the one to say goodbye. But she would.

Because she loved him that much. And he deserved to be with someone he could wholly, without reserve.

And then maybe, in the future, if he missed her enough, he would come ba –

No.

It wasn't just the way he'd acted around Haruhi. The hard truth was that she had no future with Kaoru in the real world. Because even if a man like him, who'd always walked the straight-and-narrow could fall in love with the woman she was now, she knew with utter certainty that he could never truly let himself love the wild girl she used to be too. And that was the only way it would work. Her heart came as a package deal.

All or nothing.

Which was why letting him go did not mean he was going to come back around to her.

Ever.

Kaoru couldn't remember the last time he'd felt pain this intense. Not when Hikaru and Haruhi had announced they were getting married. Not when the Host Club graduated and they had bid farewell to their beloved music room.

And he couldn't remember the last time he'd been this scared. Terrified of all those empty spaces Melody was going to leave him with.

All his life, he'd done what was fair, what was expected of him. All his life, he'd put Hikaru before himself, treasuring the happiness of others' over his own.

But right now, he had to try to help himself.

"Do you remember what you said? About not being able to stop yourself from loving me? No matter what?"

Even as the words came out, he knew they weren't fair. He shouldn't be using her words of love against her.

Especially when he hadn't even come close to giving them back to her yet.

"Of course I remember," she said gently, as if she knew how deeply her leaving was going to cut him, and she wanted to soften the blow in any way she could. "I'm keeping that promise, Kaoru."

He watched a tear fall down her cheek and had to touch her, had to brush it away. She turned her face into his palm for a split second and he prayed, silently begged the universe to give her back to him.

Please don't let her leave me.

But then she was pushing off the couch. Moving away.

Away from him.

Taking all of her warmth and softness with her.

"I love you, Kaoru. Enough to know that you don't belong with me." She picked up her bag. "I need to go now."

"How can you leave when I think I'm falling in love with you?"

She went completely still, not moving at all, not even blinking.

"If you ever know for sure, let me know."

She was halfway down the stairs when something unthinkable happened.

The mighty Kaoru Hitachiin had gotten down onto his knees, his fists clenched tightly in front of him, as if he were physically holding himself back. And he begged.

"Stay."

She had said the same thing to him that first night.

Now she was the one leaving without a backward glance.

Aaand that's it for this chapter! Am I being too mean to Kaoru? Please leave a review! I can't wait to hear what you guys think!

'till next time!

XXX