A/N: It's the first day of December! What are your plans for a good start? : )

-Iris

Chapter Eleven: Electricity

Tobias's POV

Before I know it, I'm already laughing with what Lauren has just said. Me? Jealous? W-why? And what for? Because Tris and Uriah are being so sweet this morning while I'm encountering a dilemma with my own girlfriend? I don't think there's any reason to be jealous for. With what I've seen earlier, they look so in love—so therefore, why should anyone overreact? Why does Lauren assumes that I do so by getting jealous when if you look at Tris and Uriah… they seem… ah how would I say this…

They seem…

Good together?

Besides, they were both initiates before and they've undergo initiation together—so to speak, they've met each other's interests, strengths and weaknesses, making them well-matched. Likewise, they're both sixteen. If there is a gap between them, perhaps it's only the number of months that neither of them was born before the other one. And that—is not complicated in their circumstances.

"What's funny? Isn't it true?" Lauren insists, her voice being a little high.

I shoot her a look that states, 'Lower your voice they will hear you' but she doesn't understand the message. The only option that I have here is to act like Four, talk like him, and see things—such as Tris and Uriah—like him.

"No it's not true. I have no reason to be jealous."

"Oh really? But lately you gave the impression of a 'guy' who wants to rise from his seat and head over Uriah who's flirting with your girlfriend—only that… she isn't your girlfriend. But you were acting like a jealous boyfriend, Four, when you saw Uriah whispering something to Tris. Tell me that isn't jealousy."

I look over my shoulder to watch them again and as I do, I study every move that they do. If this is really a show in a reality—this—seeing Uriah leaning close to Tris as if he's going to kiss her lips—then I don't like this show.

Their faces are so close to each other as if they will actually do it and I can feel my jaw clasping as I continue to watch. I can feel my body standing up from this seat to take the exit for the better but the only thing that I can do is, again, look away and hide the paint on my face which Lauren easily notices.

"It's nothing, Lauren. Why am I going to be jealous? You know that I—"

"Uh-oh, Four. I'm sorry but you cannot say 'You know that I have a girlfriend' as an excuse. Because currently, your relationship is in a scratch. And with what I saw in your face when I was trying to put the conversation about you and Eliza, you were avoiding it, told me that you don't want to discuss about it. And then just in one switch of attention, you saw Tris and Uriah on that table then suddenly… there you are. So… what is it? If it's not jealousy that's covering your face then what else could it be?"

Envy? It's just the same as jealousy. But it's the only word that I could come up with. Envious of what? Envious of who? Uriah? I envy him because he can come near Tris and hold her like that which, I know, is something that I could never do to her myself? Envy because the way they look at each other is like there is nobody else and nobody else can come between them?

I… I don't know.

Never mind.

"Can we just change the subject? Just let them. They're a couple anyway so… there's nothing wrong with what they're doing."

I hope I'm right. And I hope I don't lie.

"Well… if you insist. But I'm still suspecting."

Xxxx

Later, when everyone is done with their food, Zeke and his group dismiss of the dining hall. Lauren has left before they do and it was because she reasoned that there is something that she has to accomplish. I look around the room when I hear no more noise or prattle, assuming that I'm the only one left in here. But the moment that I rise from my chair, I realize that there are still people remaining here—at the sink—washing dishes together while giggling.

Yeah… the love birds, as what Marlene has called them.

"You can leave now, you have work right? I can handle these alone." Uriah tells Tris in a concern-boyfriend manner.

"Are you sure? Because it'll be fine. I'll just—"

I don't come to hear the next words that follow for I have taken the exit of the dining hall. However, I'm not planning to go yet. When I take a peek inside the hall, at the sink, Tris is about to leave like what Uriah has ordered her to do. I'm feeling the need right now to talk to her but I just don't know what about. Maybe… about yesterday? Maybe I owe her an apology? Whatever is it, I just need to talk to her and when she comes out of the exit, I won't waste the chance.

"Tris," I say.

I notice that it takes her about five seconds before she turns around to look at me. Was she thinking twice if she'd talk to me? As I scan her face, I can read that she's feeling uneasy and she isn't on the mood to converse with me about anything that I called her for. Nevertheless, I don't hesitate to prolong with what I want to tell her. Soon, Uriah will finish the dishes and come here, leaving me with regret that I'm too slow to open my lips to speak so I shouldn't make this slow now.

I toddle closer to her and she resists staying on her feet.

"I… I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I… I wasn't able to come on early time so I could stop the two of you. If I have, then maybe… maybe—"

"Tobias… Ah… I mean, Four, it's not your fault. So don't be sorry about it. Besides… nothing so awful has happened and I think you didn't even know that Eliza will come apart in the Chasm where I was so… forget about it."

I nod. Silence comes after since I didn't even think that the first idea that will pop into my head was to say sorry about yesterday. And talking about yesterday, in addition, doesn't make much sense today. So when none of us speaks within the minute, Tris tries to put out a small smile that I haven't returned on time given that she's already turning to leave. But before she could come too far away from me and before I blame myself for not asking her when I have the chance… I seize her arm and says, "Wait, Tris"

She moves her eyes down to my hand that takes hold of her forearm and I feel a wrench of pain when she slowly releases herself off of me. She looks at me casually—probably trying not to be so rude. But I think she only did that because she has a boyfriend and he is just inside. I hope that is really and the only reason.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Uh… I just… I just have something to ask you if you do not mind."

She clears her throat and moistens her lips as if she's nervous but I don't know why.

"Go on," she lets me.

I lock my eyes on her before I go on with my question. I'm doing this so if ever she parts her lips to response, I can interpret if her eyes are saying the truth in mine. I can only ask her this once so I want to know what is real and what is not when we separate ways already.

"Are you… uh…" I switch my gaze at my feet, trying to think of a way—a typical way—to ask her so she wouldn't think of the same thing that Lauren has thought of me. When I've come up with one, I shift my eyes back on her and swallow.

"Are you and Uriah together?"

Tris parts her lips to response but there's no sound that comes within seconds. As I wait for her to speak, in my mind, I'm hoping that she'd say 'no' and if I could only control her, I'd make her say it but… she is uncontrollable.

"I and Uriah…" it sounds like a question from her. "We are…"

"Yes," a voice says from my back. "We're together."

I peek over my shoulder to see who is that and find Uriah walking towards Tris. Who else will come in the scene? He was the only one left inside the hall. But he isn't the only one who's responsible to answer me. Tris was the person in query. I was expecting her to tell me herself because she's the only one I want to hear the truth from. But as I long to know about it, Uriah smiles at me—more of a warm smile than an annoying smirk—and he puts an arm around Tris' waist.

"Why do you ask, Four?"

Suddenly, I go bitter. Lately I was sounding usual as I talk to Tris but when this guy—her boyfriend—comes, I decide that I can't afford to stay that way. I must act like a teacher scolding two of his students who didn't do their homework.

"You're only sixteen." I say. That isn't what I intend to say but it's the thing that approached my mind before I could stutter. "You shouldn't be so gooey with each other especially in your age."

Ow crap. What am I saying? Do I sound stupid? I think I do. But I don't know what to say.

"But… we aren't doing anything against our age. Besides… she's my girlfriend, and I'm her boyfriend so it's just common in a couple like us to be… to be sweet." Uriah explains. "How about you and Eliza? You're also together, right? I'm sure that you also do things like that."

"But we're eighteen, Uriah. There's a difference."

"I don't think there is, Four. And I thought age doesn't matter in here. Most especially when you know which path you are taking and when you do love each other."

Blank.

I've gone blank. Yes, I remember, I was even the one who said that age doesn't matter here in the Dauntless compound. Just like Eric—sixteen—but a Dauntless leader. Well why did I mention that bastard? Never mind about him. As I was saying, I really think that I'm stupid for starting all of this. I'm saying things against the ones that I've said myself before.

What a bad move.

"So… if you don't mind… we'll be going now. Tris still has work at the tattoo parlor. Right, Tris?"

I look at her and she looks at me, then look up to Uriah and nods.

Uriah beams at me.

"See you around, Four."

As they turn away, I couldn't help but to feel like picking up a knife and throw it on a wall. Recently, the only preference that I have when I'm having a mixture of emotions and want to bring them out is going to the training room—shoot guns and throw off daggers. And I think I'll be doing that tonight. To at least destruct myself. To at least forget about my and Eliza's quarrel, and lastly, to at least forget these insane sensations that I'm feeling for Tris.

Xxxx

Tris' POV

I and Uriah have turned away our backs after we've encountered Tobias. Soon, when we've reached the tattoo parlor, we separated ways. But before Uriah goes, he told me something first that I hated to find as right.

"How did it go for you?" he inquired.

"I admit that it's been a little hard for me. You see… I wasn't able to act well as you two were talking about us… our fake relationship. He seemed like he doesn't believe."

"I think he believed, Tris. It's just the first day that we're doing this so… it's normal to feel that way. But apart from that, I kind of feel bad for you."

I narrowed my eyes on him. "Why will you feel bad?"

"Well… I saw how you looked at him earlier. I've pictured the color on your face that one of the reasons why you're scared to act the way we have to in front of him is because… because you love him."

And I didn't have a response to that. At the same time, I didn't want to state an assurance. If there is something that I'm feeling for Tobias that is more than an admiration—admiration because he's brave and he's saved me a lot of times before—then I will just keep that to myself because I know that he'll never care. But a moment ago, when he asked me if I and Uriah are together, I wanted to tell myself that he maybe, just maybe, he was asking that because he's…

He's….

Jealous.

That maybe instead of having him convinced that I feel no special feelings for him and that I have no reason to come near him since I have a boyfriend, I'm having him jealous. I don't want to assume. But that is what I was hoping and I am hoping although I know… it's far from possible.

Xxxx

That night, I and Uriah have a break from the acting that we're doing. When we go in of the dining hall, and when we wait for about five minutes for neither Tobias nor Eliza to come in, none of them did. It is Lauren and Tori who's occupying the table that Tobias and Eliza used to reserve for themselves and that leaves me wondering—worrying—where Tobias must be by now. So for the whole time that we're eating dinner, I have no appetite. I rarely touched my food but my friends didn't ask me why and I didn't want them to. I didn't want them—most especially Christina to read me and finds out that despite of the must that regards about staying away from Tobias, I can't oppose but to worry.

I insist myself to finish the food on my plate so they don't have to throw it later. Right now, since I don't have much energy, I think I should get an early sleep. I and Uriah don't even have to act a good deal tonight since Lauren and Tori won't even care if we're being lovey-dovey. Well… perhaps they will or they do but… it doesn't matter. The only main people that we're trying to make-believe with are Tobias and Eliza and by this instant, they aren't around.

I pull back the chair and stand up.

"Hey, Tris, you going to sleep now?" Zeke asks.

"Y-yeah… I'm feeling drowsy now. I'll just see you guys tomorrow."

"But… you just ate." Shauna says.

"Yeah, maybe you'd like to stay for a while."

I shake my head, attempting to pull out a smile. "Thanks but I really want to lie on bed now."

"Oh… okay. See you tomorrow, then."

"See you," I say back.

Soon, when I've taken the exit, my friends' attention is no longer in mine. They go back to their discussion while I—I decide to amble towards the dormitory now.

I reach the hallways through the dorms and I fly a hand on my forehead as I walk in with the darkness. I've been thinking a lot recently, worrying too much since this morning. I wonder when I can experience even just ten minutes of my life when I don't have to concern about anything. But with this faction that I chose, I couldn't blame anyone.

I'm almost near the dormitory, just almost—but I stop and stand on my feet when I hear a bang of a revolver…somewhere…somewhere near.

I look around my backdrop, searching for the place where the sound might came from.

And then it hits me.

Of course… the only place where you can hear poundings of guns is the training room. But why—in this time of the night—will someone make a noise and scare anyone who's walking here in the hallways? But I'm not actually scared. Perhaps if it's Shauna who hears that sound, she'll be frightened but me… I'm more of curious about who could that be and why is he… oh… whoever that is, is firing guns at the training room instead of joining us over at the dining hall for dinner time.

I walk with no hesitation. The training room is not that far from where I am since I heard the sound clearly. I turn to right, and then to left, and then to right again, and the bang of pistol becomes more apparent. It doesn't stop. It just goes on and on and on with making noise across the dark corridors and I, also, just goes on with finding the training room. And as I take step by step, I count the number of fires that I hear.

One.

This one's eerie. If I would analyze it, it's like the sound is portraying anger for it to be that loud.

Two.

It's the same thing as the first one. But with it, I heard a hint of ache that's longing to be noticed, to be felt by someone who doesn't care. I just don't have a clue on who is that.

Three.

This one has more force. It sounds as if it represents confusion, a mind that won't stop playing with what a heart says. A mind that kills. A mind that controls feelings.

I take another step, I'm coming near. I wait for the next bang but within five seconds it doesn't come so I'm persuaded to obtain the last few paces to the training room. And then eventually, when I'm already half present by the door, the batter comes.

Four.

I place a hand on the wall beside me for support. I flashback to the fourth bang that I heard and tries to interpret what does it wish to say. And then suddenly, my jaw tightens when I figure out that there was something with the bang that is different with the previous ones. If the first one was anger, and the next one that followed states pain, and the third one utters chaos… this… the fourth one… longs to express… jealousy.

I release my hand from the wall swiftly when I can't take it anymore, when I don't want to hide anymore. I get the last accurate step to the door of the training room and there my stomach twinges with the sight of Tobias having a blade on hand.

I don't know if he feels my presence or he's just trying to pretend that he doesn't hear anyone come because he just focus with the dagger and doesn't have the mind to even just glance at the door to see that I am here.

As he picks which knife would he use, I scan the room to find where he was firing guns at. Then nearby the window, I see a man-figured stand that has a lot of holes—has holes everywhere, in fact—which were probably caused by how hard he shoot. No wonder Tobias is really good with these things than anyone else—than Eric, to be precise.

When he's chosen the dagger that he would use, I had a circle of choices in my mind. First, should I just turn away now and leave him alone since it seems like it's what he needs? Second, should I walk towards him instead of staying here on my feet, doing nothing, just looking foolish? Third, should I stop him from whatever he's planning to do although I really don't have an idea what is these all about? And fourth, should I offer him some company when true to the point, what I am trying to do is to stay away from him?

I…

I don't know. I don't know what to do and at the same time, I don't know how to act when he catches me standing here by the door. So therefore… before he could become aware of my presence… I'll just walk away. For the good, I remind myself again.

"Tris,"

It was when I'm just about to turn around that I hear him call my name and I feel my palms bearing cold sweat. I swallow hard and lock my eyes on him, on the dagger, on his hands, on the man-figured stand, then back at him again. I don't want to ask, 'Why' or 'What' because I'm afraid that if I utter a word, my voice might break.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be with your friends on dinner right now? Aren't you supposed to be with your boyfriend by now… he must be looking for you."

As he says that, he isn't looking at me. There is something with the tone of his voice that I can't construe as what I did with the four fires of gun that he did. Perhaps apart of being good with those weapons, he's also good with secreting emotions that he doesn't want to show unless if it's special person. And I am not a special person for him so I cannot read his voice.

"Uh… I'm… I'm done with my food before them. And… and I decided to leave at the first place before anyone else because… I want… I want sleep already but all of a sudden…"

And by the way, I decided to leave before anyone else because I don't have the appetite to eat for I'm worried about you.

"All of a sudden… I heard a noise as I was walking at the hallways and I've been… c-curious. I didn't know that it's you. So… you… what are you doing in here?"

Finally, from the dagger that he's tossing on his hand, he shifts his eyes on me.

"Just ensuring if these weapons still work."

I don't think so.

I don't believe him. I really don't. His fires earlier were dedicated with emotions, every fire was inferring meaning and now he's denying it—it makes me want to tell him, 'You're a terrible liar, Tobias." But I hold my tongue instead. With the brief answer that he has provided, I could tell that he doesn't want to talk and that means to say that he wants me to leave now so I will.

And when I'm already doing it, when I've almost stepped out of the door, something thwarts me from going.

"Aw!"

Quickly, I get the steps back from the room and I find a scratch from Tobias's palm that's bleeding that I haven't refused but to run towards him, by his side. I've forgotten that I'm in a process of avoiding him, and by this moment that I'm near him, I don't think I still care.

"What happened?" my voice is in panic. "Let me see."

The knife has dropped to the floor when it slides on his palm as he was tossing it. He lends me his hand where the injured palm is and I study how bad the wound is with the help of the evening light coming from the window.

"God you're bleeding! I-I will just get a bandage from the clinic, y-you wait here." I drop his hand, turning away already to get a bandage, but he grasps by arm and pulls me closer to him.

"This isn't too serious, Tris, you don't have to panic."

I look at him through the light from the window and I see how different our expressions are. While I am being so panicky, he just stands there, his hand not on support, as if he's so used with being wounded, as if he's been through this so many times already.

Then I suddenly remember.

I don't have to act as if I don't know why. He… he showed me his fear landscape during my initiation and I've witnessed the beatings that Marcus did to him when he was younger. Therefore, that wound on his palm right now is just chickenfeed to him.

I carefully release myself off of him. "Okay… but… I have to go and get you a bandage at the clinic. Wait here."

He nods.

And I run fast out of the training room, on the way to the clinic where I find Christina and Will. I don't know what they're talking about when I enter but faces of surprise shoot my way when they see me.

"Hey, Tris, we thought you're asleep. What are—"

"Can you hand me a bandage?" I say, bypassing an answer for their thought.

"A bandage… why? Are you injured?" Christina rises from her seat when she asks that but I try to look usual.

"Uh… y-yeah I am… but it's—"

"Where? Let me see so I can help you."

I walk backwards when Christina tries to step closer and she shoots me a look of bewilderment.

"Are you just okay, Tris? You look pale."

"I-I'm just alright, no need to worry." I lie, but of course, Christina spots it. I already expect that she'd say, 'Tell me what is really going on, Tris.' But Will enters the scene with the bandage on his hand and I thank God that he's here.

"Here, Tris."

I accept the bandage from him and say, "Thanks Will." Before I turn to look at Christina again.

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow."

"But Tris—"

But I've already walked out of the clinic and I hurry back to the training room. When I come in, I search for a sign of Tobias. I look around, as in everywhere, to look for him but he's nowhere to be found. I feel a sudden nerve of fear that maybe something worse has happened to him or he went away because it took me time to come back but… I hear his breaths somewhere.

So I toddle across the floor, still searching for him around, but through the darkness covering the room, I find his figure sitting on the ground, near the table of the weapons.

His leg is rested on the surface while the other one is bended and the arm that has the uninjured hand is settled on top of his knee. I sit beside him and show him the bandage that I got through the light.

"Sorry if it took me a while. Christina cornered me a few questions that she was expecting to be answered."

He doesn't response.

"Here, let me." I slur over the subject about my friend. I take his hand on mine and turn it so the palm faces me. I try to be unfussy as I roll the dressing to cover his hand and I try not to think that he must be watching me but I can't help but to feel edgy while we're this close to each other, while his hand is on mine, while we're alone in this four-cornered room, and while nobody knows where we are.

There's something with this phase right now. Something… unusual. Something that makes my hand shake as I roll the bandage for the last time but I try to hide it. Something that makes me wants to look up to him and just stare at him for how long I wish to.

I can feel electricity filling us in this room as our hands stay laced with one another. I don't know if he feels it too but I can't think of it right now.

I'm on fire.

"It's covered now. Does it make your wound less aching?"

He lifts his bandaged hand between his eyes—probably studying how I did it.

"Yeah," he says, bringing it down. "Thank you."

And then there is silence. The more it goes, and the more I remain sitting beside him, the more I feel anxious. I shouldn't be here right now. I shouldn't be on his side right now. I shouldn't have come here and he shouldn't have seen me because it's me making me fail with what I have to do. But I don't know. As we stay here on the floor, I realize that it doesn't matter anymore. That I've completely left the plan of staying away from him, behind. At this certain moment that we are here, all I know is that nothing else does matter but us.

"Aren't you going to the dormitory now?" he suddenly breaks the stillness. "I thought you want to sleep already."

I am aroused by his question. And at the same time, I comprehend that he was having his own business here when I came and disturb him. He must want me to leave now. How idiotic of me to assure myself that I shall stay. Of course he wouldn't wish for that.

"Uh… yeah… right. So…" I hesitate for a second but then I've moved my feet already to rise. However, I am not standing completely yet when Tobias laces his uninjured hand into my hand and pulls me slightly onto his side. That is when our faces meet so close that's making it difficult for me to breathe and to blink. If neither of us moves, we will kiss.

He looks at me straight in the eyes and I cannot look away now.

"I'm only asking you because I want you to stay."

Stay. The word echoes in my head. He wants me to stay. I never thought that someone will say it right into my face; that someone needs me, and that someone will look at me in a way like he doesn't want this moment to end. And most of all, I didn't think that that 'someone' will be Tobias.

"Stay," he says again.

And I nod. I hold his hand tighter.

"I'll stay."

Without letting go of his hand, I press myself against him closer until there's no more distance to call. He doesn't complaint when I slowly lower my head onto his shoulder and let it rest there. Our hands remain tied as minutes pass by and none of talks as we sit side by side at the floor.

It is when I listen to ourselves breathe in this four-cornered room without saying anything that I finally found the place where I belong.

If I could just stop the time.

A/N: through the process of writing this chapter, I am listening to these songs:

"Start of Something Good" by Daughtry

"Breathless" by Better than Ezra

They suit the most with the scene on the training room between Four and Tris that pushed me to make this chapter long. : )

I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. : )

Have a blessed day everyone!

-Iris