Thursday
January 1, 2009
Dear Diary,
It's 2009! The years sure do fly by fast.
I went with my mom and watched some New Year's fireworks. I had a really great time.
Tomorrow I'll have plenty of time to play my guitar. I'm learning how to play some rock songs on it, mainly one called Sunshine of Your Love. It's tough, but I'll get it soon, I know I will.
Wednesday
January 14, 2009
Dear Diary,
Jennifer and I got in a fist fight.
So, here's what happened.
Basically it was just a normal day. When I was walking in the cafeteria, Jennifer accidentally bumped into me and fell over. It was spaghetti day and it got all over her. Everyone was laughing and pointing and she was really red. "Way to go, Einstein," I said. Jokingly, mind you. I wasn't trying to be mean.
She stood and jabbed her finger at my chest. She growled in my face, "Take a long walk off a short pier."
To which I replied, still smirking, "I'm going to shove my foot so far up your butt my shoelaces will fly out of your nose."
That got her angry. She lunged at me and knocked me to the ground. Which in turn made me really angry, and I slapped her. By then the entire cafeteria was making a thick crowd around us, screaming, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
We were pulled apart by the janitors and sent the the principles office.
So, now I'm suspended from school for a week and I have a therapist for my "anger management issues."
Wednesday
January 21, 2009
Dear Diary,
I was back in school today. Nobody ever talks to me anymore. Not after the fight. They're all scared of me. Except Foxy and Chica of course, but even they seem a little wary of me.
Hopefully someday a meteor will come down to earth and hit Jennifer. I know it's a long shot but hey, it could happen.
Thursday
January 30, 2009
Dear Diary,
I don't think my anger management therapist is really helping me.
I mean, I don't think I even have anger management issues. Jennifer just has a special way of making me angry like nobody else can.
Bottling up all my emotions seems to help. Not just anger, I mean everything. It's easier to keep it all inside. Plus it helps me stay out of trouble.
I think I'm getting better at guitar. I can play Sunshine of Your Love all the way through now, even though I trip a lot. Guitar is like an escape from me. It's weird, it disconnects me from the world and makes me forget all my problems. It's really calming, and I love it.
Tuesday
February 3, 2009
Dear Diary,
I still call Jennifer pizza face. Boy, does it piss her off. But she knows better than to attack me because she'll get in throuble and ruin her goody-two-shoes teacher pet status.
Some other students have started calling her pizza face as well. I almost feel bad.
Almost.
Friday
February 6, 2009
Dear Diary,
There is a school talent show comng up next Friday and I am going to enter it and play my guitar. I'm really nervous, and I wasn't going to do it at first, but Foxy told me that I absolutely had to. I've played for him a few times and he thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread.
Foxy's going to be a teenager next year, and the year after that I will be too. I'm eleven right now. It seems like just yesterday I was seven and I got this diary.
How has four years flown by so fast?
Friday
February 13, 2009
Dear Diary,
Tonight was the worst night ever. And of course, it's Friday the 13th. I guess I can blame my misfortune on that.
I got into the talent show. It was tonight. I was so scared, obviously. I had never performed my guitar in front of anyone besides my mom and Foxy; let alone a huge crowd of random judgemental strangers.
So, I went on. I was playing Sunshine of Your Love. I practiced and practiced and I was pretty sure I wouldn't trip up.
About halfway through, I struck a wrong string and my guitar made the worst sound ever. I froze up and I couldn't continue playing. My fingers wouldn't move. I could feel my face heating up in embarassment. The room was silent.
Then, and I swear it was Jennifer, someone started booing.
All of the kids joined in. A lot of the parents didn't, and even tried to shush their kids, but there was the occasional crappy parent that booed as well. I couldn't believe people could be so cruel.
I started crying, right there on the stage. The host of the talent show, the principle, came out and was telling everyone to stop, but I didn't hear what she was saying exaclty. The blood was roaring in my ears and my face was burning and tears slid down my cheeks.
The booing stopped, but by then I had walked off of the stage, ran out the back door of the cafeteria, and started down the sidewalk towards my house. It wasn't that far away, and I knew I could make it quickly and hide myself.
As I ran, I heard Foxy calling after me, but I didn't look back or slow down.
I got home. Nobody was there. My mom had gone to the show. She would probably be told that I ran off and would come home. I ran to my room and I just cried. I usually try to keep all my emotions bottled up, but I couldn't.
After writing in here, I do feel a bit better. This journal is much better therapy for me than my actual therapist.
I can't get the image of the booing crowds out of my mind. Everythime I think about it I want to cry again. I know Jennifer started the boos. I know she did. She is so cruel.
From now on, I'm never showing any emotion. I mean, I didn't usually before, but now I'm taking it further. I'll always have a poker face, and I'll stop talking. Maybe if I just melt into the crowd and make little attention to myself I can get through my life without angering anyone or embarrassing myself.