Note to my readers: I know, I know. I have promised and not delivered. What a bitch I am! The thing is, I am a grown-up who is running from the homeland in hope for a better life. And I move a lot because my passport doesn't give me many options for the extended stays without obtaining some visas. To sustain myself on-the-go, I need to work a lot. When you've got a chronic depression, it can be a little bit complicated.

Some of you were sweet, encouraging me to go. Some of you were mean, accusing me of giving up. However, I appreciate your feedback. Your support is what keeps this story alive, even with the periods of clinical death. Thank you.

P.S. I'm rewriting the earlier chapters, adding some details and refining them. Maybe you'll consider rereading them. I'm going to do it for the first six chapters. Let me know what do you think.

'Oh, how sweet it is!' She murmured into her phone looking at the picture her husband has sent to her earlier. A little puppy in Andrew's hands looked happy and peaceful, trying to lick his face that finally smoothed after the days of a dark mourning. Step by step, the life has come back to his body; the kids kept him busy, and now they adopted the puppy - the adorable little thing that was jumping and looking for constant attention. Cate was relieved to see him like that. It was still a long time to go, but it got a little bit better. The life, in the end, took over again and succumbed the horror of the death.

'Yes! How's the filming?' Andrew had asked this question over and over again. The fixation on the work and ongoing projects was helping him to keep a peace of mind. Usually, she answered those questions with pleasure. The cinematography was their shared passion, after all. They both lived in the freedom it gave them. Now Cate had become irritated; a denial inside her was so intense that sometimes she felt an urge to give up and tell him that she was too tired to discuss it. However, she knew that he needed her to stay sane. And she talked about her work - every time he asked.

'It's fine. We're half done here. Some things are complicated, but Todd is quite inventive. Liz told me she was going to contact you. Did she?' Cate tried to slip from discussing the filming itself, going straight to the business. Andrew didn't notice the trick.

'No, she didn't. I know what are you talking about. Probably, I'll need to fly back to Cincinnati…'

'No!' Cate interrupted him and, frightened, covered her mouth with her palm. She didn't expect that. Andrew didn't expect it either. The awkward pause haunted the line.

'Why?' He finally asked. She inhaled, not knowing what to say.

'You have the puppy now, remember? It needs your attention. And what you can do that I can't? I've got the power of attorney, so if you need to sign something or…' Cate tried her best to sound casual. However, Andrew didn't buy it.

'I'm alright, Cate.' He was serious. 'I can manage. Don't make me a small boy just because you're afraid of death. I'm okay. I'll go through. Don't deprive me of my life.'

She felt a pinch of conscience and a strange relieve. This combination itself was insane. She took a pause.

'Okay. I am sorry, Andrew. I'm just being silly and protective.'

'You are.' She heard how on the other end he smiled when he said that.

'I still think that the kids and puppy need you more than the movie. Just tell me what to do and I'll do. Okay?'

'I'll think about it. I need to speak to Liz first. Then I'll think. Alright?'

'Okay, honey.' Cate didn't like the answer, but she didn't want to argue.

'Love you.'

'Love you too.'

'What the hell was it?' Cate asked herself when she hung up. She knew the answer, but it didn't make things easier. A wave of self-punishment was ready to break out and crush her mind.

The treacherous 'no' had nothing to do with Andrew's condition. That 'no' was all about her. Cate hadn't wanted him to be here since she saw Rooney at the filming scene a couple of days ago after she was back on the set. Rooney was waiting for her at the outskirts, trying to hide from the intrusive eyes. Her lips formed that forlorn 'I'm sorry' and Cate couldn't take away her eyes from the begging face. The girl didn't know what she was doing, and this ignorance was a reason for success.

Cate knew that Andrew's presence would be a lifeline for her. She won't do anything to hurt him, and she was good enough to balance on the neat thread of the affections and obligations. That's why Cate has preferred to work on the sets with him. She knew what was she capable of, and Andrew was the anchor of her sanity.

Now - for the first time in her life - Cate refused his lifesaving presence. If she was to drown, let it be painful but without any victims. Cate knew that Andrew would feel her collapse within the seconds of their meeting. But her acting still worked when the phone rang.

Cate hid her face in the palms. She knew her wrongdoings, and she could easily accept all of them except that one. The balance was a fragile thing there, and she sensed how the soil shook under her feet.

'What a terrible person I am,' she squeezed her face and stood up abruptly. There was no road back, and it was her choice.

That day Cincinnati was warm, but Rooney shivered in her coat and scarf. She was nervously clenching her gloves. Jake, who always seemed confident and buoyant, stood close and murmured some sticky song. They were waiting near the Frankenberg's entrance while the crew had been working with setups.

'Warm, right?' Jake said and smiled.

'Yeah,' she answered vacantly and kept watching the set.

'Why are you shivering tho?' He persisted trying to attract her attention and ease the bothersome waiting.

'Don't know. Wind?' Rooney uncertainly waved her hand around.

'No wind here.' He giggled. 'But you made one with waving.'

'So, I've got all reasons to be cold now, right?' She asked him, forcing herself to joke back.

For a moment, Rooney thought that she has noticed the furs and the blond hair. She wasn't sure, but her heart sank into her guts and buried itself there. She swallowed her anxiety and tried to focus.

'Okay, guys,' Todd clapped. 'We're ready to go. Rooney, Jake, are you ready?'

They nodded and went to the set.

'Silence!'

Rooney felt Jake's gaze. It made her uncomfortable because she started to feel the people and things around in the acute clarity. It scared her, but Rooney refused to surrender to those feelings.

'Action!'

Jake's voice interfered her space. Her heart started to beat in her stomach.

'Where's this place in Jersey?'

'The country, I think. I don't really know.' If she had ever cared where that car would take her.

'My uncle Sal lives in Union City, and he claims it's pretty dangerous out there at night…'

She interrupted him, a little bit harsh even for the script.

'It's not Union City.'

'Okay, okay.'

The car entered the scene. Rooney's mouth twitched, and all her muscles tightened. She exhaled through her nose to calm down.

'There's my ride.'

Her legs were shaking, but she was ready to run. However, she paced herself and, slightly bouncing, went to the car. Jake followed her behind and opened the door.

Rooney saw Cate's smile. The blood returned to her veins and the heat inflated her body. She felt the smell of the elder woman. The long fingers in gloves hypnotized her completely. Rooney shut the door and rolled the window down, not being able to focus on something else. Jake leaned forward to kiss her.

'Eight o'clock?'

'Eight o'clock.' She answered and smiled. 'Never,' her mind screamed.

Jake leaned further and stretched his hand.

'Don't touch her,' an inexplicable aggression inside Rooney skyrocketed and stung her. She almost said it, but in the last second, she woke up to the scene.

'Hi,' he said casually.

'Hello.' Pause. 'Carol Aird.' Cate's voice melted Rooney's skin. Everything inside her tiny body was boiling.

In the slow motion, she was watching how their palms touched, and they shook hands.

'Richard Semco. Glad to meet you.'

'Likewise.' That intonation burned a hole in her chest. Rooney turned to Jake and looked at him with a lost expression.

'She wanted to meet you.'

'Therese speaks very highly of you.' Cate's hand gently touched Rooney's thigh. She froze, feeling alive only at the point of their contact.

'Well, that's - swell. So you'll get her back safe and sound?'

Cate smiled ironically and saluted to him. Rooney impatiently turned to Jake once again. For a moment, he hesitated and then touched her chin slightly. The mere feeling of his fingers made her stomach hurt, but she handled that.

'Love you.'

She rolled up the window. Now there were only two of them. The car moved, and Rooney almost blacked out in the joy of Cate's proximity.

Rooney had never laughed that much in her life. Cate made her alive in the ways she could never imagine. Rooney was soaking every word, every movement, every breath of the woman. The reality was better than she has ever dreamt about it. Every time Cate touched her, the million of the neurons in her head blew with fire. After the six hours of shooting and reshooting, Todd declared a break. They went to the quick dinner - all together - and Rooney found it pleasant despite her aversion to the shared meals. On the dawn, they went back to the set, where the crew finished preparations for the tunnel scene.

'Okay, girls. We'll shoot this one slowly, alright?

Rooney nodded and went to the car. It still kept the smell of Cate's perfume. Rooney drew air in her nose, observing how her brain falls in the ecstatic abyss. The door opened, and Cate sat behind the wheel.

'Ready?'

Rooney nodded, still high from the smell and taste of the reality.

Todd and Ed hopped to the back seats.

'Okay. Now we can start. Cate, Rooney? Fine? Let's go.' Todd said. Cate turned the key, and the car came to life in trembling of the old engine.

They slowly started off. Rooney couldn't look away from Cate. The woman belonged here, in that interior of leather upholstery and mahogany dashboard. It complemented her grace and immense charm perfectly.

Cate said something, Rooney replied. Something nonsensical, utterly stupid, but she didn't care. The whole world was floating in the sight of Cate, filling Rooney's lungs with the rhythms of the inner music. Her eyes stopped at Cate's thighs, in the silk stockings. The urge to touch them, to feel the smoothness of the refined texture was almost unbearable. The mere presence of that woman intoxicated her, making her helpless in front of her undisclosed desires.

Cate gripped the wheel. Her fingers were aching, but it was the last bastion of sanity. She watched Rooney's face carefully, and it told the stories Cate didn't want to hear. The slightly open mouth was begging for attention, and the lost eyes were entangling her body in worshipping adoration. She silently prayed for Todd's ignorance, but he seemed charmed by the dynamics and not paying any attention to the real tension. The semi-darkness of the tunnel didn't help, throwing the bizarre lights on Rooney's face. She was dauntingly staring at Cate's thighs. In her eyes, Cate spotted the hungry reflection that only insanely in love can have. At that moment, she smelled the smoke of burning bridges behind her back. Cate stretched her hand and put the radio on.

'I'll be so alone without you

Maybe you'll be lonesome too, and blue.'

It snatched Rooney from her trance. She raised her eyes up and looked at Cate in disbelief. Cate smiled.

'Just remember till you're home again

You belong to me.'

Todd's voice rang like a bell in the empty church.

'It's a wrap. Let's go for the other round. But this one was fantastic.'

Rooney shook her head.

'Yes, it was.'