Chapter 11 - Talks and Silence

Author's Note: The song lyrics referenced in this chapter are from "Color of Your Life" by Michał Szpak. It's a beautiful song with incredibly heartfelt singing; I highly recommend giving it a listen if you never have heard it before. :)

Warmth. That's the first word that came to Nathaniel's mind as they entered Delilah's home. She called for her husband, lovingly explaining that she knew it was his day off, but an extraordinary circumstance had come to light. A burly man turned the corner, and his curious expression quickly shifted to a grin. He approached Nathaniel and chuckled as he gave him a hug, patting him on the back three times. Nathaniel stood frozen in the embrace, rather unsure of how to react.

The large man spoke jovially. "Del's description of you was dead on!" he laughed. "Right down to the frown, ha!"

Nathaniel blinked and looked over to his sister. The man continued. "Name's Albert. I suppose we're brothers now."

Delilah giggled. "Yes dear. Could you please watch the shop for me while we catch up?"

"Of course, darling," the man grinned. He kissed her on the cheek as he headed out the door. "Nice to meet you, Nathaniel."

"Likewise," his leathery voice cordially replied.

Delilah invited Nathaniel to make himself at home, and the two sat in the small sitting area in the front of their home.

"I never expected to see you with Emilia, Nathaniel. Just how exactly did that happen?" His sister started the conversation with her own question, much to Nathaniel's surprise. He blamed her new inquisitive nature on Emilia's influence, but kept his cool as he explained the situation to his sister. How he had attempted to rob Vigil's Keep, and even how he'd planned to lay a trap to kill Emilia.

His sister's reaction to his admission was not at all what he had anticipated. "Cut Emilia some slack, she's been through a lot."

"And we haven't?" Nathaniel retorted, his patience wearing thin.

"You weren't here, Nate!" Delilah snapped. "You didn't see father's evil."

"Surely you're exaggerating, sister."

She shook her head back and forth. "Absolutely not. And Thomas', too. Doing every little thing father said. Mother couldn't stand it either, it's why she drank herself to death. But that was just the start," Delilah made a fist in an attempt to keep her hand from shaking. Nathaniel attempted to speak, but Delilah demanded he listen. "If you want to blame someone for destroying our family blame our father - not Emilia Cousland. Hell, blame him for destroying her's too. The man was positively evil, Nathaniel. He did horrible things. He deserved to die."

Nathaniel could see the pain in his sister's eyes - she was clearly torn up about this. "I had no idea..."

"You couldn't have," she insisted. "Father might have been hard before you left, but it was years later that he showed his true colors." She swallowed hard, tears beginning to pool in her silver eyes. "I know you never would have gone along with it. That's why he sent you to the Free Marches, I'm sure of it. To keep you away. As for me, I had to get away. After I heard what he did at Highever, I knew he was lying about why. I couldn't stand to see another moment, so I ran."

Nathaniel took his sister's hands in his own. "Please, Delilah, tell me what you are able." He silently listened as his sister explained the numerous horrible things she saw him do and heard servants and soldiers speak of. He continued to hold her hands as she struggled, fighting with herself for having to relive the moments, but also knowing that Nathaniel had to know. She even told him the truth of Thomas' death - that he had been sent to assassinate Emilia, but instead was taken out by an Antivan Crow who was traveling with her before he got the chance. Nathaniel questioned how Delilah could possibly know such a thing, and she revealed that the former Crow had stopped by Amaranthine and told her the tale himself.

"If you ask Emilia, she'll deny it happened. She has no idea that it did. But I'm sure it's true - that Crow knew too many personal details about Emilia to have not really known her."

Then, out of nowhere, Delilah chuckled. She looked down at her lap. "Goodness child, are you doing back-flips in there or what?"

Nathaniel's eyes widened. "Delilah, are you...?"

"With child, yes. Due by spring." She smiled, and the two discussed happier things for the rest of their visit, until Albert came inside to retrieve Nathaniel for Emilia.

That evening, Emilia and her three Wardens hit up a local tavern for drink and sustenance. Oghren and Anders exchanged stories with the group, eliciting a few laughs from Emilia. But Nathaniel remained silent, stoic, lost in thought. None of the crew bothered to ask him what it was about - they already had an idea.

The bard playing that night sang mostly traditional ballads, but at one point, proclaimed he was going to perform an original piece. Set at a moderate tempo, the song was supposed to have an inspirational, uplifting tone, but it was having the exact opposite effect on Emilia and Nathaniel.

When loneliness is knocking on your door
Everything you loved just disappears
And when you feel that everything is lost
You need to know there's no life without tears

Oh, tell me black or white
What color is your life
Oh, try to ask your heart
Who you really are

Emilia was doing her best to hide how bothered she was at this point. Grey. It's fucking grey. Between this bard's song and Nathaniel's cold demeanor, she was beginning to lose her patience. He had barely looked at her since they picked him up from Delilah's house, and hadn't even bothered to say so much as "thank you." In fact, the rogue hadn't said a word to anyone at all.

As the bard continued on with the song, singing of how one can choose who they want to be, but also not to fear one's destiny. Emilia slammed her tankard on the table. The song also evidently struck a nerve with Nathaniel, whose broody visage hardened and glare narrowed. Anders suddenly stood and approached the bard mid-song. The mage whispered something in his ear, looking over at Emilia. The musician turned slightly red, nodded, and quickly, prematurely, ended the tune he was playing. Without a preface, he began to sing a traditional ballad about Haelia Cousland and how she drove the werewolves from Highever, bringing a smile back to Emilia's face. The Warden-Commander winked to her mage companion, whispering a simple "thank you" from across the table. Anders simply nodded back, a smile strewn across his face.

The group headed to the former Howe estate within the city for the night. The home was left completely furnished, but unoccupied, save a few guards left to keep out squatters and thieves.

Upon arrival, Emilia instructed one of the guards to show Oghren and Anders to the guest chambers, requesting that he save Natheniel's old room for him. "I see no reason why you can't sleep in your old room tonight," she bluntly stated, turning to the Howe.

Taken aback, he found himself thanking her yet again. He softly murmured his appreciation, and started off in its direction.

"Wait," her voice met his ears, low and concerned.

He kept his body facing in the direction he had been walking, only turning his head over his shoulder during his reply. "It's been a long day, Commander, and if you don't mind, I would like to turn in for the night."

She nodded once, slowly, and he took another step away.

"I just wanted to ask you how your chat with Delilah went. Without the others around," her elegant timbre broke the rhythm of his footsteps again.

He stopped in his tracks, and gave her the same treatment as before. "Delilah gave me a lot to think about. She said my father deserved to die." While Nathaniel appreciated that Emilia showed him respect by not asking about this in front of the others, he wasn't able to fully discuss his feelings yet. He turned around completely, realizing the petite commander was much closer to him than he had thought. "I need time to process this."

Bravely, she placed her gloved hand on his toned upper arm. "I'm sure I'm the last person you want to talk to about it, but should you change your mind, I'm willing to listen," she offered sincerely.

Nathaniel couldn't figure Emilia out. Up until his chat with Delilah, he thought he had every reason to hate her. But now it seemed, it was the opposite. She was the one who should hate him. A Howe man. One who admitted he had thought about killing her. Who looked up to and defended his father. His evil father, by his own sister's accounts. It was too much to process, his reality turned on its head.

Though he was still clad in his armor and her hand still covered by its leather glove, the contact burned. He took her hand in his, removed it from his arm, and let it go. "Thank you, Warden-Commander Cousland," he properly responded, emotionlessly.

He turned again to leave, but her voice rang through the empty hall again. "None of this is your fault, Nathaniel. You couldn't have known when you left how much he would change."

Nathaniel stopped only briefly at the sound of her voice, but this time he offered her no reply, not even a glance. He simply resumed his gait, disappearing into the shadows of the estate's hall.