So about that deadline...sorry it's super late. I had a family issue that delayed me. On another note, I hit 500 reviews! Thank you so much to everyone who's read and reviewed this story over the years. I know my updates are often sporadic but thank you for sticking with me anyway! Enjoy!
A week after the encounter at Ichiraku, Sasuke stood in the administration building, listening to Tsunade speak as she relieved him of his forced leave—with stipulations.
"You will be assigned missions at my discretion: I dictate when and how often your services are needed. Upon your return, there will be an obligatory seven-day-minimum recovery period during which you are to limit high-energy activity to a reasonable amount, observe standard eating and sleeping habits, and attend all scheduled follow-up hospital appointments. Afterwards you may be eligible for another mission. However," she leaned back in her chair, studying him through wary eyes as she toyed with the scroll in her hands, "eligible does not mean guaranteed. If I feel that your state of health is not up to par, you'll remain in the village until you improve. Is this clear Uchiha?"
Sasuke nodded once, reaching for the scroll she extended towards him. When she didn't let go, he looked up and saw that she was regarding him sternly. But there was a slight timbre of concern in her voice when she spoke.
"Everyone has their limits Sasuke, and you need to recognize when you've hit yours. You were dead on your feet when I placed you on leave and I don't want to see you at that point again. Regardless of any personal qualms, at the end of the day, you're a shinobi of Konoha and your safety is my priority. Got it?" His quiet affirmation seemed to be enough and after another moment of scrutinization, she relented and handed him the scroll. "It's a standard escort mission but the guy's got some enemies so with the prospect of trouble, it's B-ranked. That's the best I can do."
"Thank you Tsunade-sama." He bowed politely and turned to leave, not thinking much of the strange way she observed him as he left.
For nearly a month, he had waited eagerly for his mission ban to be lifted, desperately almost, and now, walking to his apartment with the scroll filling his pocket, it was as if he could breathe easily again. There was only so much time he could spend with Naruto—after all, as Tsunade had said, everyone had their limits. So between sparring and Ichiraku trips, he had busied himself as he could and left himself little time for thinking because when there was nothing left to focus on, he couldn't stop his mind from dwelling on Sakura. Ino's revelation had stoked ill emotions that he had previously kept suppressed and they assailed him daily, nightly. The strongest of them was regret.
On the worst nights, when he could only sit on the balcony in the chilled darkness and focus on the night sounds to forget the turmoil within him, he found himself wishing she were there. Not from love or longing, but from want of company, so she could dispel the numbness, so he could have somebody for him. It was wrong, he knew, wanting her simply for wanting's sake, but there was little he could do to stop it, not when he lied awake in an empty bed, burning as he thought of her asleep elsewhere, regret brewing in his core. Sighing in exasperation, he wished emptily for one day with an unburdened mind. One day without her.
After passing the hospital, he took a sharp right onto the tight side path Sakura had showed him after 'discovering' it one day on her way to work. It was not well known and therefore less busy than the always-congested main road, which was constantly crowded beyond Sasuke's tolerance. He had only taken a few steps when he heard a small 'Oh!"—muted, but loud enough to attract attention. He looked up and unexpectedly, Sakura was there, standing a little ways off in the middle of the path as if waiting for him. With only one arm inside the white lab coat draped around her, he wondered just how late she was for her shift. He blinked, studying the face he had last seen in December but had lingered in his thoughts ever since. She was a little fuller than he remembered; her hair a little longer—nearly at her shoulders now. And her eyes shone, like they used to, even in the shadow cast by the neighboring building.
Sakura blinked several times and her mouth, which had been hanging open slightly, finally closed as she swallowed. She was surprised, he could tell, but otherwise, he couldn't read what other emotion affected her. Collecting herself, she adjusted her lab coat and began talking in a rush of words, the tone lingering between the polite animation of small talk and awkward nervousness.
"Wow, hi Sasuke! It's been so long. Since…December right? Three months basically. My goodness. Well it has been a pretty busy time for me—and for you too probably, right? Naruto tells me you two have been training together sometimes which is great. Really great. I'm sure it's a—great…time." She grimaced slightly and covered it with a smile. "Maybe we could all meet up some time or something and have a team training session. Though you'll both probably give me a run for my money!" She laughed awkwardly and looked downwards at her knotted fingers.
A few moments after her voice dwindled into silence, she looked up at him again, her demeanor less nervous, her smile serene.
"What I'm trying to say is…it's good to see you."
He nodded in response. "You as well."
In the silence, they watched each other, the sounds of the village filtering through the narrow alley. Sakura, as observant as ever, didn't fail to notice the dark coloring underneath his eyes and her smile began to wane as the worry began to seed.
"How've you been?" He knew that she asked because she was polite and because that was how one carried on conversations. But she could see the answer plainly for herself: gaunt, sleepless, empty. They both knew, but to admit it to her was another thing.
"I'm fine." He said matter-of-factly with a blank neutral face that would have made his words seem true, if Sakura didn't know better. In response, she nodded assuredly with a tight smile, playing her part in this charade of normalcy.
Again, silence rose between them. She wouldn't press, despite her desire to and he wondered what she was contemplating, what pushed her brows together in a furrow, what pulled her lips into a hard line. For a moment, she looked downwards and when her eyes met his once more, they were surprisingly kind.
"I don't know if Naruto told you but I'm having a birthday party tomorrow night. At my place. If you walk a few blocks down from the academy and make a right at the tailor, you'll see my apartment building; it's right next to the bookstore. And, well, I'd love to have you, if you wanted to swing by."
She meant it, he realized as he studied her in his confusion, noting the sincerity reflected in her eyes. And perhaps, because he seemed perplexed or hesitant or the silence had stretched long enough, she continued. "I know parties aren't really your scene but it's not anything big, just a few people so you won't have to socialize too much. And you can slip out whenever you want; no need to stay the whole time. There'll be food and cake and music and everything…it should be a good time! Are you busy?"
This invitation, this offer, was beyond the neutral nuance of polite conversation: she was asking him to spend time in her home as she would a friend. Certainly, she couldn't have forgotten the way he had allowed her to deteriorate as their relationship had crumbled. He had no right to have any sort of relationship with her, he knew that. But standing there before her in the wake of her impossible request, as she smiled encouragingly, he became incredibly conscious of the bleakness in his life, the absence of the warmth that she emanated. If he had not been cautious, if he had not known the proper answer to such a question, perhaps he may have said yes. But he knew that Sakura's happiness was not something for him to enjoy—not anymore—and so he declined politely with the excuse that he was unavailable.
She waved off the decline casually. "Ok, no problem. Just thought I'd ask…" Her voice trailed off and again, they stood, wordless.
It was another minute before Sakura spoke. "Well, I should probably get going. I'm already late as it is. But if your schedule frees up at all, the invitation is still open so feel free to stop by whenever, okay?"
He nodded and she smiled warmly before walking forward. The alley, narrow and small, gave them little maneuvering room, causing their arms to brush lightly against each other as they passed through. Sasuke kept his eyes to the ground, Sakura looked forward. They were both nearing their respective exits when he heard her footsteps stop. She called his name. The eyes that he met when he turned seemed set, determined.
"Sasuke…I know a lot has happened between us but…we're still allowed to be friends, you know?" She nodded, either to herself or to him, he wasn't sure, and she turned again, walking away as he watched her.
For a party marking the mostly unremarkable age of 25, Sakura thought it was rather well done. There was a perfect balance in each aspect of the gathering. There was an abundance of finger foods that were simple and light enough that one wouldn't feel too full after eating a good amount of them. The songs TenTen had selected could serve both as dance music and as upbeat background melody. And of course, per Ino's foolproof "Perfect Party Arrangement Plan", the small-talkers and chit-chatters were able to carry on conversation with ease while those dancing could do so comfortably and without intimidation of their small number. The guest list hadn't been large—small enough that Sakura could still see everyone's faces unobscured when the group had huddled around the cake—but it had been a wonderful party nonetheless, with enough joy and goodwill to keep her laughing all night. But of course, she seemed to always be in a state of joy nowadays.
Slyly, her eyes found Hiroshi who had been making his way around the room and striking conversation with everyone Sakura had introduced him to that night. At that moment, he was talking earnestly with Shikamaru about some topic that had kept the conversation going for nearly 15 minutes. Briefly, he caught her watching and he smiled quickly, winking when she attempted to bite back her smile. She lost his attention once Neji entered the conversation, followed soon after by Ten Ten. It seemed that no matter the make-up of the group he conversed with, Hiroshi managed to adapt and fit seamlessly into the dynamic without any of the awkwardness she had anticipated. Why. she wondered, had she been nervous at all?
"I'd ask what you were smiling about but I think I can guess." Ino's voice drew her gaze away and Sakura absently accepted the champagne flute that Ino offered her. Hinata, finishing a cup of punch, appeared on her other side.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Sakura said but she lifted the glass to hide the curve of her lips. Smiling knowingly, Hinata met Ino's eyes, which almost immediately began to roll.
"Please Sakura, everyone here saw you making eyes at your boyfriend from across the room."
"Ino he's not—"
"Oh right, sorry. Everyone saw you making eyes at the guy who is totallyyour boyfriend for all intents and purposes, but technically, isn't because you're in denial and being weird with labels. Better?"
Sakura's quickly narrowing eyes moved Hinata to speak. "Don't worry Sakura-chan. You don't have to call him that if you don't feel ready."
With a makeshift to-go box in her hand, TenTen removed herself from the conversation and approached the trio. "Hey, I'm heading out. Neji wants to go but he refuses to let me walk back by myself so I gotta put him out of his misery, lest I have to endure any passive aggressive complaining." She placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder and jerked her head in Hiroshi's direction. "I will be giving my input later. Bye!"
Ino watched her departure, taking a sip from her cup before expanding on TenTen's final words. "Well since we're on the subject of giving input, I have to say, you did a pretty good job with this one Sakura."
"Is this you giving me your blessing?"
"Call it what you want. All I'm saying is with a good personality, good values, and good looks to boot; Hiroshi gets two thumbs up from me."
Hinata nodded in agreement, glancing at the subject of their discussion very briefly. "I'm glad you found each other. He is very warm and friendly."
Ino scoffed, studying the final sip remaining in her cup. "And we all know how much you like guys who are warm and friendly."
"I-I don't know what you mean." Hinata replied, echoing Sakura's earlier words and smoothing a piece of her hair to distract herself from the heat rising in her cheeks.
Sakura, following Ino's lead, leaned forward and spoke behind her hand. "What Ino means is that you-know-who has made a trip to the snack table every two minutes in the last hour and it wouldn't be very hard to find yourself there at the same time and casually strike up a conversation."
"Oh, well. I wouldn't want to bother him."
Dismissedly, Ino waved a hand. "Nonsense. But if you want, we can always call him over here for you—Oi N—"
"Okay!" Hinata exclaimed quietly with a flurry of hand movements, her eyes wide. "I'll go, I'll go."
Watching Hinata begin to mumble responses to Naruto's loud chatter, Ino and Sakura clinked glasses and drank to peer persuasion.
At eleven Sasuke took a walk, a few blocks down from the academy and past the tailor, knowing that by then, the final guests would be trickling out because early mornings were a given for shinobi. With him, he carried a single rose and a small container of anmitsu, the same items that he purchased every March 28th. Once he arrived, he perched himself on the rooftop, waiting and listening to the muffled sounds of conversation seeping through the window screens. Sakura's laughter, light and carefree, floated upwards in waves and in the sweet familiarity of its echo, his body relaxed until he was lying flat against the metal sheet panel. Only three guests remained: Ino, Hinata, and a man Sakura called Hiro who was attempting to convince Sakura through jokes and teasing that he should stay the night. Sasuke stopped listening and studied the stars.
Ten minutes passed before the girls left, followed soon after by the reluctant man. At his departure, the apartment fell silent, save for the quiet rustles of Sakura's tidying and an occasional murmur to herself. He slid down the roof paneling, landing quietly on the balcony without notifying her of his arrival. It seemed she had already begun her post-event rituals, evidenced by the pale blue dress straps already slipped off her shoulders, the zipper released partially for "breathing room", and the way she absently found something else to do besides clean: this time, rereading birthday cards as she hummed a tune to herself. A light tap on the glass was enough to pull her attention and he watched surprise and joy meld her face into a smile.
"Hey!" She laid the card down and slid back the screen, resting her hands on the open doorway. "This is new-level lateness Sasuke. Even Kakashi made an appearance before the party ended."
He felt himself smirking, influenced by her mood. Sakura smiled patiently, awaiting a response, but not wanting to give an explanation for his decision to accept her invitation, he simply presented his items to her silently before placing his hands in his pockets. Recognition softened her face and there was something about the way she smiled at the familiar birthday items that suited him.
"Thank you, really." Her fingers lightly traced the rose petals, following the spiral to the center. "You didn't have to."
Yes, he didn't have to. He could have ignored her invitation and remained home instead of listening on her roof as she laughed with a new boyfriend. But, loneliness was a difficult state to return to after knowing the warmth of bonds and the past few months had been a testament to that. At his worst, enveloped in emptiness following his return to the village, she had dispelled the numbness and brought life back into his existence. Surely, she could do the same again; provide the necessary company he had been pining for. The day before, she had offered that company to him; who was he to refuse it?
Sasuke shrugged, eyeing the rose balanced carefully between her fingers rather than her eyes. "We're still allowed to be friends right?"
Tell me what you thought!
For the next chapter, I won't give a hard deadline but I'm aiming for within the next 3 weeks sometime hopefully.