AN: Just a collection of reactions from Jim and John concerning what Sherlock is up to.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing!
ABCs
Antlers:
Jim- You could be one of Santa's reindeer!
John- I'm going to gore him if he doesn't fix this.
Jim- Let me just get the acetone and we'll get them off you.
John- They're not superglued on, Jim, he somehow made me grow them!
Bubbles:
John- You just had to challenge him to make a better dish soap. We'll never get it all out of the furniture!
Jim- I'm not paying on the bet! This is all foam, nothing you can really clean with, you can tell by the way it's moving through the the Flat.
Caffeine:
John- Three questions: Where are his clothes? How did he get into Buckingham Palace? And why did you give him caffeine?
Jim- Mwahahahah!
Dolphins:
John- Please tell me you had nothing to do with getting that thing here.
Jim- You want me to lie?
Evil:
Jim- Did he just summon a demon?
John- Is it Saturday already?
Flarp:
John- Isn't that a kids toy?
Jim- Don't tell him that! I think he's about to figure out cold fusion.
Gold:
John- Jim? Why are my dogtags gold? Same goes for the kettle, the pots and pans and all the utensils.
Jim- I may have introduced the boffin to Alchemy...
John- Really? Well, that explains why I seem to be aging in reverse. I thought I was just going crazy.
Hand:
Jim- What the hell is that?!
John- A Hand of Glory. You really shouldn't have given him that book on the Occult.
Jim- But why are you using it?!
John- It makes a really nice candle holder.
Igloo:
John- It's the middle of summer, where did he get all that ice from?
Jim- Some mysteries even I cannot answer.
Jack-in-the-box:
John- Jim? Where are you? And what's with the crate?
Jim- (muffled yelling)
John- How... Never mind. Let's get you out of there.
Jim- Not a word, just cut the bindings so I can go strangle him.
John- Can I at least say that you look good in a Jester's costume?
Kite:
John- Are those Mycroft's briefs he's flying?
Jim- Sibling rivalry at its best!
Life:
John- I think his mold cultures just purred at me.
Jim- Lucky you, I've been feeding them scraps for a week now and they still only growl at me.
Meeseeks:
Jim- What the hell is that thing and why is it cleaning?
John- I told Sherlock to clean up and he didn't want to, so he made this box thing and... yeah...
Nicknacks:
Jim- Why is your Flat covered in porcelain dog figurins?
John- I stopped asking those kinds of questions ages ago.
Oranges:
John- What...
Jim- Don't ask. Don't even ask.
Phoenix:
John- He's not really about to set that chicken on fire, is he?*
Jim- Shh! I want to see if this works!
Quibbler:
John- He does know that that is a fake paper based off a popular franchise, right?
Jim- Don't ruin this for me, he's about to prove Nargles exsist!
Rope:
Jim- You know, I get the idea he doesn't want us going out on our date tonight.
John- Shut up and cut faster, I need to use the loo!
Sex:
John- He hasn't moved since he fainted, is he even still breathing?
Jim- He wouldn't die so easily, but he might have just learned a valuable lesson in knocking before entering a room.
Twin:
John- I didn't know Sherlock had a twin, how many Holmes' are there?
Jim- It's not a twin, he learned how to clone himself! RUN!
Ursula:
Jim- Seafood? I'm staying for dinner.
John- I hope it turns out good, it's an octopus and eel recipe I got off the internet.
Jim- Octopus and eel? Does this have something to do with that mute client you had that claimed to be a mermaid?
John- I don't know. All I know is Sherlock left to take care of it on his own and brought a lot of fresh octopus and eel home with him, so I had to do something with it. And as for the client she's got her voice back now and has eloped with her boyfriend.
Vibrations:
John- Is that a jackhammer? Why is he messing with a jackhammer at... 3:30 in the morning?
Jim- It's actually Motzart played on a jackhammer and I can't believe he figured it out so quickly, I'll need to make the next challenge harder.
War:
Jim- He shall rue the day he crossed Jim Moriarty!
John- Jim... you can't declared a blood feud just because he took the last hobnob.
Jim- He finished off the jam as well.
John- He shall rue the day!
Xena:
John- No man should look that good in a leather and metal corset and miniskirt while weilding a sword.
Jim- I'm just impressed with how spot on he was with his battlecry. And did you see how he threw that chakra? He's giving me lessons in exchange for covering this up.
Yogurt:
John- Don't eat that! Sherlock made it, there's no telling what's in it!
Jim- Relax, I already got the lab report back and it's completly safe for human consumption, though not for reptiles...
Zombie:
John- Did you know he was the living dead?
Jim- Considering how little he ate and all the biohazards he's survived it made sense, and have you seen those bioluminescent eyes?
John- But how is he so lucid and not a shambling mess constantly looking for flesh?
Jim- He's too smart to succumb to such a cliche. And did you really think all those body parts in the fridge were for experiiments?
)
*Don't get upset, the chicken was already dead and Sherlock was trying to see if he could bring it back to life like a Phoenix.