BPOV
Wrapped in a terrycloth robe I sit motionless on my windowsill for hours. With my feet tucked under me, I watch the ambulance drive away and the men return to the fields. Jasper leads Mollymae back to her stall and finishes the evening chores that would normally be Edward's responsibility. The sun lowers and still I sit, staring, no longer shaking; not thinking about anything except him.
Dinner proceeds as normal. There are hungry men to feed, but I can't bring myself to go downstairs to help Esme. At this point, I'm sure no one expects me to. The food line winds below my bedroom windows but I keep them closed to block out the voices. I know everyone will be talking about Edward. Normally the eavesdropper in me would jump at the chance to listen in, but...I just can't.
Alice called a few times but I didn't pick up. I couldn't bear to hear my own voice explain what happened. I couldn't find the descriptive words to paint the scene for her as though I were writing a theme paper for English class. Edward's crimson blood was shocking against my porcelain skin.
It all happened so fast. That's the way it works with emergencies, right? They're unexpected and yet they expect so much. They expect you to put all your fears aside and react and trust your instincts, and all while you remain calm and make split-second decisions.
And don't get sick, Bella, don't throw up, he'll be fine, it's his blood, it's Edward's, he needs you, stop shaking.
Oh God he was so pale. Even the brightness in his green eyes had dulled. He was looking right through me.
I'm a coward sitting up here, I know it.
I should be downstairs checking on him. I shouldn't have run away. I should have stayed in case he asked for me. Would he ask for me? Had he? No, why would he? But maybe -
"You like him."
That chirpy voice nearly sends me sprawling from my perch. How did she get in here? I didn't even hear the door open!
"Wha? Jeziz, Alice! Can't you knock?"
"Sure I can," she smirks, sitting on my duvet and crossing her arms at her chest. "You like him," she repeats, knowing damn well I heard her the first time.
"What are you talking about?" I snort. "He's a friend who just had a traumatic experience."
"And you're hiding up here because YOU LIKE HIM. You swapped out chore duties so you could roll around in the dirt with him, he was your date to the wedding-"
"He invited himself!"
"Cut the crap, Bella. You like him. That's all I'm saying. If it were Sam downstairs getting sewn up you'd be right by his side, swabbing his forehead and making him soup. But it's not Sam, is it? It's Edward."
"I know who it is, ok! I know! God, you're annoying!"
"You just hate it when I'm right."
"So I abandoned him, is that what you're saying? I'm up here hiding in my tower while he's –"
I can't finish the sentence. There's a hard lump forming in my throat and it's all threatening to burst. I feel my chin begin to tremble.
"Oh for God sakes, Alice, I rode a horse with him draped over my lap like a rag doll. He was so cold, Alice…so cold and…I didn't know what else to do…I kept talking to him…and, and…it's all my fault. I made Paul change the schedule. I made him put Edward in the field so I could…oh I'm so stupid."
"Hey Bella, hey sweetie, don't cry, you did everything you could. You brought him back here. The doctor came right away. He's going to be fine."
"He is?" I sniff.
"Yeah. He is. …Oooooh and look at your face just light up…you looooove him."
I fling a throw pillow at her head and smack her in the arm with another. She squeals and we topple to the floor in full on giggly, pillow-fight mode; and I've never been so happy to have a friend like her in all my life.
...
The antique grandfather clock in the hallway outside my bedroom just finished chiming eleven times.
My stubborn stomach keeps growling. I shouldn't have refused to come down for dinner and I wasn't about to allow anyone to serve me in my room. Even I'm not that much of a princess.
So here I am standing at the top of the stairs in my PJs, in a dimly lit house at eleven o'clock at night, with my knees trembling. I'd fallen asleep for a few hours after Alice left and now I'm wide awake.
And starving.
And curious.
And ashamed.
And a multitude of other emotions, mostly having to do with Edward and all of them leading to more questions and a flurry of different - although equally confusing feelings, and, ugh I can't stay up here any longer. I flutter down the staircase all Scarlett O'Hara-like and hurry towards the kitchen in my socked feet. I sneak along the wall and peek my head into the side room but the cot is empty. There are no signs that anyone was ever in there, let alone hooked up to an IV and blood pressure cuff. My skin flushes cold and clammy like someone just doused me with a bucket of ice cold water.
"He's down the hall. They've made up the den for him."
"Oh I wasn't looking for-"
The kettle whistles and Esme pours steaming water into a mug. Geez, she could turn a light on, couldn't she? Standing in the dark in front of the stove like that all detective-style, catching people creeping around the house trying unsuccessfully to be stealth. My face must be fifty different colors of busted!
But she doesn't call me out. She sits at the table and sips her tea. She looks exhausted. There are creases of concern on her face.
"He refused to go to the hospital. Stitches barely set and he was already trying to get up."
Tears threaten to prick my eyes at the thought of Edward struggling.
"But he's ok, right?"
Esme nods and I can see the relief in her eyes. "Carlisle's taken him off the schedule for the week. Was going to do it for two, but Edward had a fit, stubborn boy. The doctor gave him a shot of something strong to knock him out, and painkillers to take every four hours. He hasn't eaten yet. I was about to put his dinner on a tray and bring it to him. …Unless you'd like to do it."
"I, uh, wouldn't want to bother him."
"Right. Cuz that's what you'd be doing. …You saved his life, Bella. I'm sure he'd like to say thank you."
...
There's a soft glow coming from the room where they've put Edward. It's more of a mini-library than a den, but it has no windows. Some might find it claustrophobic but I find it comforting. I like being closed in by books on all sides.
The nightlight plugged into the wall casts shadows around the room and it takes my eyes a moment to adjust; to find Edward. And then I hear him breathing. A bed had been made for him on the large, leather sofa in the back. He's draped in a white sheet and blue blanket and propped up on hospital pillows. His injured leg is elevated, but other than that he looks completely fine. More than fine. He looks like a sleeping angel.
Carefully carrying his dinner tray, I move closer, tentative step by tentative step and place it on the table next to him. I've never seen him asleep before. I don't know what I expected it to look like but it sure isn't this. Peaceful, content, vulnerable. The left side of his immaculate face pressed into the pillow. His wildly reddish-brown hair sticking up in places and matted down in others. No trace of the pain and panic of this afternoon. His breaths are the steady ones of deep sleep. It seems almost wrong to be ogling him like this. The bad girl in me is attempting to convince the good girl to look at what's under that sheet.
And then he sucks in a deep breath and winces and I remember that it's real. He's not an angel. He's a human; a creature even more precious because it can be broken. I lean down and place a kiss on his warm (but not too warm) forehead, and let myself out.
...
Morning comes too soon and before I know it I'm late for my shift at the lodge. I promised Heidi weeks ago that I'd cover for her so she could take her mother out to lunch for her birthday, and I can't screw her over just cuz I'm a spazz. That means skipping the shower, picking clothes off the floor and throwing anything on, and maybe, if I'm lucky, remembering to grab my purse. There is no time to eat and certainly no time to check on Edward. I hail Emmett down in the pickup truck and beg him to drive me. Thankfully he's heading in that direction and I arrive at the lodge with thirty seconds to spare.
Heidi gives me the lowdown on what needs to be done while she's gone: catching up on inputting guest reservations, calling in the weekly supply order for the kitchen and wait staff, logging overtime hours, and sending out past due invoices. It takes me all of three hours to complete, and by then Heidi is back from lunch and I'm off.
If I could run home without being seen, I would. The urge to find Edward is more overwhelming than ever. Has he been in bed all day? Did someone bring him breakfast? Has the doctor been in to check on him? Does he wonder where I am or why I haven't come? Maybe I should have called? These thoughts plague me as I take the familiar walk home. I wander through the field, where not so long ago Edward offered to be my date.
"Hey Bella!" Comes Jasper's friendly voice from a few yards away. He's walking towards me with Elvis - one of our older horses who we just found out is pregnant.
"Hey Jazz, what's up?" He's so pretty with his white blonde hair and crystal clear eyes.
"You heading back to the house?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Can you bring Elvis with you? Paul called on the walkie, tractor stuck in the mud or something. He needs me ASAP. Pleeeeease? I'd ask Edward to do it but - - shit. ...Sorry, Bell."
I dig my tennis shoe in the dirt and pretend that the comment didn't sting.
"It's ok. Yeah I'll take her. Don't worry about it."
"I am sorry -"
"You go ahead before Paul freaks out." I say it all with a big friendly smile and Jasper hands me the reigns.
We're just over the hill beginning our descent to the house when Elvis stops in her tracks refusing to move.
"What is it, girl?" Sweat is rolling down the back of my neck. Even in cut-off shorts my thighs are sizzling. "Come on, we're almost there." The house and stable are in sight. I'll get her into her stall and then I'll check on Edward. But she won't budge.
"What's the matter, Ellie? It's hot, I know you're tired. You'll be in the shade soon and you can lay down and -"
Before I realize what's happened I've tripped and landed on my butt. An innocent collapse. No harm done.
"What the hell was that?" I grumble, bouncing up and brushing the dirt off.
"That would be a bridle. A harness used to direct a horse."
"I know what a -" I snort...Except...that voice...that cheeky voice dripping with sarcasm and...
Laying on his back in the tall, dry grass with polished saddles and bridles littered around him Edward stares up at me with a sleepy grin on his fucking clean shaven face.
"What are you doing out of bed?"
"I'm a grown man, aren't I? I can make my own decisions." With effort he sits up and crosses his arms on his knees. A crease forms between his eyes and he sighs.
"I'm sorry I scared you yesterday."
"I don't think you're sorry at all," I kid, rolling my eyes. "I think you're feeling guilty because I saved your life."
"Eh, I would have been fine. Just needed to catch my breath and I could have walked back here and stitched that little scratch up myself."
"I'd like to have seen that." I squat down to his level. God he looks so young. My age. Younger. It's freaking me out.
"…I was holding you on the horse."
"Yeah...Thanks for that, by the way. Even if you did ruin my favorite jeans. My ass looked amazing in those." He reaches out and playfully pushes me into the grass before also returning to his back. Together we stare up at the clouds.
I shut my eyes and suck my teeth. "Well, next time I'll let you bleed to death."
Edward chuckles, and goddamn I get butterflies in my stomach every time he does that. I wish he would laugh more. His laugh is one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard. I want to laugh with him. I want to ugly laugh, I want to double over in a giggle fit the way I do with Alice. Except with Edward our laughter would grow quiet and lead to tentative touches growing bolder, and with questions and tender requests asked under whispered breaths.
"Do you have plans tonight?" His voice is close and when I open my eyes I find he's turned on his side, his face inches from mine.
"Uh...no, why?"
"How about coming down to the water with me? Tonight at midnight?"
"Are you sure it's ok to get your bandage wet?"
He nods his head up and down very slowly without taking his eyes off mine.
"Oh, well, I dunno. Daddy comes home tonight and the house will be crazy."
"Climb down the window ledge after your father goes to bed and I'll be waiting. You don't have to bring anything. I'll bring a towel for you. ...What do you say? Will you come? It'll be fun."
I'm completely frozen with shock and fear of the unknown, but something about the sudden warmth of his hand on my arm melts the fears away. It's all behind his eyes and I can't help but say, "Yes, yes I'll come."