Okay, this is the shortest update EVER, but it is an update. I swear by all that is epically awesome that I will update ASAP. And if it's not this story, it'll be something. Cross my heart, hope to fly.
This update goes out to RubyDracoGirl, who's had my back since day one of this story. Get well soon, Ruby!
Chapter 11: On The Cross
Over and over, and I still cannot believe
(We can't save ourselves)
Give me a chance up on the cross and watch me bleed
(Now ask for help)
Having faith in something you can't see
(It takes something else)
Over and over, and I still cannot believe
(We can't save ourselves)
~The Used
When I was dead sure Marie was asleep, I left the hotel and went out walking. I'd never be able to sleep in that room with her. There were so many holes in her story . . . I didn't think I could trust her.
And seriously? Part of the agreement was that Manning wouldn't send anyone with me or after me. I already told him: if he did that, then our deal was off. I had every right to totally ditch her and the mission and go back to Nebraska.
Buuuuuuuut . . . Kate wasn't privy to the whole thing. She thought I came back on my own. Marie did say that Kate sent her. So maybe it was an accident.
I didn't want her. Yeah, so I told her I was cool with it. But I wasn't. I wanted to be by myself. Mostly, because I worried her safety if I totally lost it. I'm serious: if I lost it while she was near me, no more Marie. And I didn't want her to have to see me lose it.
I kicked at a stray pebble. No matter where it started, it always came to the same thing: how uncomfortable and untrustworthy I was of my own powers. I'm serious; it's been coming for a long time. I don't trust my life to it like I did when I was younger. And look what happened with the frogs: I missed one. I never missed one, and now I have the painful memory of a numbed-up arm.
I had the sudden urge to hit something. Then my hand twinged, reminding me that I was still recovering from the last time I totally fucking lost it.
I walked a little more, and then finally took in my surroundings. "Fuck," I swore. "Really? Just . . . really?"
I was in front of a cathedral.
Okay, this was too weird. In fact, this was so weird, I didn't want to be affected by it. I stood and stared at it. This was all too fucking conveiniant for me. Everything. God, I'm like some sort of magnet for all this shit. So I shook my head and kept walking.
I didn't see the stick in my way, so I totally tripped and fell on my face. I groaned in pain, and turned so I was laying on my cheek instead of my nose.
That goddamn church did this. With its high steeple and stained-glass windows, it was totally out to get me and my pagan-ness. I hated it and its entirety. And how it was staring at me.
I rolled onto my back and sat up. Thankfully, no one saw me take a nose-dive. And no one was going to see me walk into that church, either.
"You think you're slick, don't you?"
I flinched. Dammit. Marie found me.
I was sitting in a padded pew in the back of the church, just staring at the place. There was a couple others in the church, actually praying, but it was basically empty. There was this huge cross sitting behind a podium at the front, and murals of Bible scenes covered the walls.
Marie sat down next to me. "You know, you aren't very stealthy."
I didn't look at her. "Thought you were asleep," I muttered. I wrapped my hands in the sleeves of my shirt.
"I call it the ol' "Fake 'n Follow" routine," she shrugged. "I fake being asleep, wait for someone to leave, and then follow them."
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, telling me this totally makes me trust you," I said sarcastically.
"I'm just sayin'," she said. "You looked like you had something on your mind, so that's why I didn't push nothin'." She reclined in the pew. "But now I am. What'chu thinking?"
"Stuff," I answered. "Life. Death. Love. Hate. Tacos."
She glanced at the cross before asking warily, "You ain't one of those religious zealots, are you?"
I smiled a thin smile. "Please. That's probably the furthest adjective from my personality."
"Good," she nodded. "I hate all that religious crap. It's just a way for people to justify their actions."
"Well, I don't necessarily hate it," I admitted. "I think it'd be nice to be so certain about something . . . . At least you'd know what would happen to you when you died."
"You go ahead and look at it like that," Marie stated, "But don't drag me into it."
"I don't plan to."