READ THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE FIRST. I DON'T CARE IF YOU USUALLY SKIP AUTHOR'S NOTES. READ THIS ONE!
Now that I hopefully have your attention, I'd like to say I really hate this one, for a number of reasons. First, to keep my conscience as clear as possible, I knew I couldn't make Sam in love with Quinn seeing as I already have three people in love with her. So, I had to make him not gay, but certainly not straight. I stubbornly refuse to believe Sam is really gay, and I hate Kam with a passion. But I thought that if Sam's secret wasn't really going to have anything to do with Quinn, then it should be something about his sexuality, which is always under scrutiny. The second reason I hate this is the horrible spelling and grammar. For anyone who forgot, Sam is dyslexic, which means he has trouble with reading and writing. I don't know the specifics of it, and I don't know if I wrote as a dyslexic high schooler really would, but I tried to make it seem as if Sam really had written it. So don't anyone be angry that it's kind of really horrible. I think it's still readable. The last reason I hate this is because I couldn't think of anything else to add to this once I had typed out what I had already written, and short chapters really bother me. But I guess Sam, like Puck, probLove?ably wouldn't write much anyway, not because he didn't want to, but because it would be harder for him. So yeah.
Sam Evans laments his life as a coward.
SAM
"No, I'm not gay. Not at all."
I am a cowerd. Contradictery as it seems, I am not afrade to admit that. Its the truth. Whatever else I may be, I stand by the truth. I dont lie, unless it is absolootly nesessary. That's why there's really only two main lies I have told since ariving at Mckinley. All the little white lies have just ben part of those 2 lies. Those are:
1. I actually do die my hair. I was to ashamed to admit this to anyone but Quinn. This is'nt the lie i most regret though. The other 1 is.
2. I'm not straight. thats not to say I'm gay either, or even bisexual (I dont beleeve in labels) Also I dont beleve in falling with either boys or girls. I beleve in falling in love with an actual person.
Despight that, I do tend to like boys more. Don't get all angry about me using Quinn though. She's reely pretty (Oh, God, her eyes) and she really is great, but I don't love her. Maybe I could someday, but evrything with the promis ring and all has just been to keep peeple from suspecting about my sexality. I do feel bad for using her. Altho I dont like to admit this, I care far too much about popularitee and stuff. That's why I'm dating Quinn. And why I'm so deetermined to be corterback. It's why I won't tell peeple heer about my sexality. I dont want to bee like Kurt, constantly teezed and tormented & finally forsed to run away. Im happy enuff to wait untill coledge (assuming I can get in) to find somebody I truly want to be with, boy or girl. Hopefully I can find someone I can be onest to, regardless of gender. But thats where it comes back to me being a coward. As much as I act like a tough guy, I'm to afrad to be onest until I can get to a place where I know I will be acksepted. And i reely hate that about myself. But as much as I would like too, as hard as I try, I cant stop from hiding who I reely am.
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