Chapter Ten
Ron looked up at the huge building.
"Why do we care about this insurance company again?" he asked.
"Be-cause they're located directly above the Doctor's secret base," Shego explained.
"You know, once we're done, I still want to stop over at—" Ron began.
Mego cut him off. "Yeah, I know! Can you wait?"
Shego and Kim glared at him. He backed away.
Hego walked calmly over, and pushed the door open.
"Step one," he announced. "We ready to go?"
"They've entered the door, sir," a man by a computer shouted. The Doctor nodded, and the stranger tapped his foot impatiently. The Doctor might have been all right with waiting, but he himself found it exasperating.
"They're coming down the hall toward the secret entrance," called another. Quite honestly, the stranger didn't know any of their names. He just called them CMP—short for Computer Monitor People.
"Fifty-seven… fifty-eight…fifty-nine. Here we are," announced Kim Two.
"So where do we…"
"…Go from here?" Wego asked.
Kim checked the Kimmunicator. "Left," she announced.
"Deactivate the DNA scanners temporarily," the Doctor ordered.
"Well, it's a nice painting, but I don't see how it opens a secret passageway," Hego pointed out.
"Well, there's only one way we can figure out everything about it," Ron replied. He dug into his pocket, and Shego groaned.
"Oh please not the—"
"Rufus," Ron ordered, "thoroughly inspect the painting."
The naked mole rat was a blur as he ran around the painting. Finally, clinging to the top of the frame, he pushed a single section inward, then jumped back to Ron.
Then the floor fell out from under them.
Kim Two had the reflexes to flip around and land in a Spider-Man style pose, but the others weren't as lucky. Mego slammed his head on the new floor and went limp. Kim and Shego landed on top of Ron. Hego, the largest member of the party, made a massive dent in the floor.
There was a pause.
"All right," the Doctor sighed, "Who was messing with the elevator?"
Construct pointed to one of the CMP.
"Well that went well," Ron pointed out.
"I wouldn't say that if I were you," Shego pointed out. "It's just inviting trouble."
"No, that's 'this is going to be easy,' or alternatively 'what could go wrong?'." Ron pointed out. "If you say one of those phrases, things invariably go wrong. However, if you say 'that went well,' you are referencing past events that can no longer go wrong. Therefore—"
"All right, all right," Shego cut him off in exasperation. She turned to Kim. "Is he supposed to be that smart?"
Hego rolled over and turned toward Mego.
"Mego?" he whispered. "Mego? Bro? Answer me!"
"Don't you just love coconuts?" asked Mego in a half sing-song half dead serious voice. Hego froze halfway between Yay, you're alive and What the heck?.
"One side," Shego announced. She slammed her foot into Mego's stomach.
"Ak! What was that for?" he exclaimed.
"Shh. We're in a villain's secret lair," Kim Two pointed out.
"She's learning fast," Shego pointed out. Hego helped his brother up.
"So what's with—"
"—The huge vats of chemicals?"
Wade's picture flickered in, although it was slightly fuzzy.
"The Doctor specializes in both cloning and genetic mutation, as you should very well know."
"So where is the Doctor?" asked Kim. "I didn't come all this way just to play Get Smart with a broken elevator."
"No schematic," Wade apologized. "You're on your own now."
Kim Two looked around for a few moments, thought, and then pointed.
"That way," she ordered.
They left the chemical vat room, and walked into a room filled with large glass jars. Kim Two gazed into one. A little boy's sleeping face came into view.
"This is about as depraved as you get," Shego growled. "I don't think of myself as a hero, but I'm raring to get at the Doctor for more than one reason.
"I thought you wanted to dump him in one of those vats of chemicals," Ron pointed out.
"He deserves it," Mego replied.
Kim Tow paused, and checked her arm. The black was about at her elbow.
"Right," she said.
"Hey someone agrees with me," Mego announced.
"Directional right, doofus," Hego pointed out.
"Oh, look at the pot calling the kettle black!"
"Oh? Well who ate the three-week old—"
"Focus on the moment here," Shego snapped. They walked on in silence until they came to a wooden door (oak).
"This doesn't belong in an ultramodern evil lair," pointed out Ron. He tried the doorknob.
"Locked," he gasped after a moment. Hego walked over and shoved the door open.
"Show-off," Mego grumbled. "I could have shrunk down and unlocked it from the inside."
"Keep this up Mego, and so help me, I will sit on you," Shego hissed.
Inside was the one person they wanted to see.
"Hello," said the doctor. He sat calmly at his desk, looking over the heroes and villain who had just intruded.
"We're taking you in, Doctor," Kim announced.
"What happened to the whole vat of chemicals idea?" asked Ron.
"Shh!"
"Well, if you simply must," the Doctor announced, "But first…"
He clapped his hands.
"I'm sure you remember Construct."
The man in question stepped out, his hands flickering with plasma.
"We're gonna need you on this, Shego," Hego announced.
"Of course you are."
Eva walked up behind them with Gill.
"And of course you know Gill, too. Eva, now she's an interesting case. What makes her interesting is how I bred her. She can intake nutrients by consuming other people's blood. In essence…"
"She's a vampire," Kim finished.
"Wow," Ron noted, "Where's Buffy when you need her?"
"And for the last member of our little party," the Doctor went on, "Someone very dear to your heart."
Kim's eyes widened.
It was the white jacket and black pants that she noticed first, though it didn't really help. Then, looking up, she took in the tan and the messy brown hair. And the face was exactly the same.
"Hey, Kim," Eric announced coolly, "You're just in time to die."
"Is that a picture of me with a hair bow?" Shego complained.