Warnings: Yaoi and adult language!
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I'm not making money off of this. I don't own the Tallest, though Fab, Orange, and Fuchsia were created by me.
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Chapter Ten: You're Better Off Leaving Home Without It
Dib stared in silence as Rio blinked at Fab. Fab giggled, happily, and nuzzled the taller Irken's chest. Zim blinked through his windows, covered in pink bunnies, as GIR squealed happily inside the kitchen.
"Fab...?" Rio repeated, staring. "Is that you?"
"RIO! I remember RIO!" Fab cackled, happily. She hugged the Irken tightly, smiling. "Rio Rio Rio!"
Rio blinked, then beamed and proceeded to hug Fab back as a big, stupid grin crossed his face. Dib grunted and shook his head.
"Wonderful... there's another alien and I don't have a camera," he sighed.
"You came to my house without a camera?" Zim quirked an invisible eyebrow, questioning, as a pink bunny slumbered on his head.
"... ...," Dib's eyes widened as he realized that he, in fact, had.
"... Some investigator," Zim sneered. Dib bristled.
"This from an alien with a bunny on his head!" the human retorted, pointing at the pink bunny. Zim twitched, then scowled darkly as the bunny yawned. "What's with the other alien, ZIM?"
"...," Zim turned to look at Rio. "Why ARE you here? This is a secret mission!"
Rio sighed happily, then stood up and grinned at Fab.
"I came to rescue you, Fab!" he said, completely ignoring Zim. "I'll take you back home and everything will be allright!"
"Home?" Fab blinked.
"Rescue?" Dib arched an eyebrow.
"... Don't ignore me!" Zim growled. "I AM ZIM-!"
"Yes, home!" Rio continued. "That hideous Zim won't keep you here any longer!"
"... Now wait a minute...," Zim blinked.
"... ZIM!" Fab gasped, as if she suddenly remembered something. "... I MUST HUG ZIM!"
"Huh?" Rio stared.
"... WHAT?!" Zim shrieked. He whirled to run but was immediately glomped from behind by Fab, who cuddled him.
"I hug you, you hug me!" Fab sang, happily. "Let's pretend to have SA-NI-TY!"
"With a GREAT BIG HUG!" GIR joined in, lunging out a window to grab Zim as well. "And a pink bunny or two! Oh, you'll scream when we're done with you!"
"YAY!"
Rio stared as Zim shrieked and squirmed.
"LET GO! LET GO!" Zim ordered as he kicked at Fab and GIR. "UNLEASH ME, YOU FOUL CREATURES OF IDIOCY!"
Dib itched his chin, idly.
"... You know, I could almost pity Zim right about now," Dib observed. He blinked and glanced up to stare at Rio, who twitched violently. Suddenly, the taller Irken posed and pointed, dynamically, at Zim.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Rio roared. "HOW DARE YOU MANIPULATE FAB AND KEEP HER HERE AS YOUR SLAVE!"
"... Huh?" Zim stared at Rio. "... Have you the brain worms!? I have done no such thing!"
"I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE!" Rio roared, visibly quaking with rage as his antennae pricked up. "I WILL DEFEAT YOU AND YOUR EEEEEVIIIIIILLLLLLLL!"
Zim simply stared in stupified silence.
"... Okay, I've come to the conclusion that all Zimmy-race-things are insane," Dib observed. "VERY insane,"
Rio reached behind his back and, with a snap, pulled out two wicked looking blades. Fab blinked, then stared at them.
"... Genocide Cutters...," she muttered, oddly quiet.
"Yes... Genocide Cutters...," Rio muttered. "These grand weapons were all that we could find at the massacre sight... the only momento I had of you... and now... I will use them to free you from the clutches of this maniac!"
"Says one maniac to another," Dib grunted.
"Now wait a minute!" Zim snarled, hotly. "I did no such thing!"
"The time for talk has passed!" Rio hissed as he crouched, eyes glaring. Zim stared as Fab and GIR clung to his neck, looking at Rio with clueless expressions. "I will end this now and save Fab from you... prepare yourself... for THE END!"
"How can you prepare for that?" Zim squeaked.
"The American Exlax card!" GIR cried, happily. "You're better off leaving home without it!"
"SILENCE...," Rio crouched, then sprang at Zim with cat-like movements. "... AND DIE!"
--------------------------
"SHE'S ALIVE?!"
Red winced and massaged his temples as Purple glanced between Red and the other Irken, concerned. A tall, old Irken stood before them, quivering with emotions as his orange eyes narrowed angrily.
"She's alive and you never TOLD me!?" he hissed.
"Retired Tallest Orange...," Purple muttered.
"Uncle," Red grunted, quietly. "You're going to give yourself another attack,"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!?" Orange demanded, before he broke off coughing raggedly. As he doubled over, Red yelped and dashed over to his uncle's side. He helped his Uncle stand up while he coughed violently. When the coughing subsided, Red scowled and shook his head.
"THIS is why!" Red hissed. "If I had told you, it might have killed you!"
"... A lot of things 'might' have," Orange glowered. "But this...,"
"... You might have wanted to go to her," Purple said, softly.
"You're damn right I'm going to go to her!" Orange thundered.
"I won't allow it," Red hissed, dangerously. Orange paused to stare at Red, flabbergasted. "You're getting worse every day... I don't even know if I'll see you alive tomorrow! I won't allow you to go on a dangerous journey to go find a maniac when it's very possible you'll die during the process! I won't allow it!"
"I agree with Red," Purple nodded, sharply. "You don't even know if she remembers you. She could attack you on sight!"
"No... never...," Orange whispered, breathlessly.
"I won't risk it," Red replied, firmly. "You'll have to wait until Rio comes back with her... if he can!"
Orange stared at Red, his expression a mixture of outrage and betrayal. Red narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
"I'm not letting you go, uncle," Red repeated.
"How can you stop me?" Orange hissed.
"Purple and I are the Tallest now," Red glowered. "You're retired. We have a lot more say than you do,"
Purple nodded, then wilted as Orange fixed him with a poisonous gaze.
"Even you...," he growled. "Even you would deny me this...?"
"... Uncle... I won't let you kill yourself for a memory," Red grunted, turning his back to glare at the screen. "End of discussion!"
Purple blinked at Red, then glanced apologetically at Orange. Orange simply quivered with rage, then whirled and stormed out of the room. Red barely flinched as the door slid shut with a snap. Purple turned to look at Red, who refused to look at him.
"... ... Red?" Purple ventured.
"No," Red growled. "I won't let him. I won't,"
"... ...,"
-----------------------
Agent Draconian sighed, wearily, as she soaked her feet in a big tub of hot water. She reclined in her chair, slouching with exhaustion.
"What an exhausting day...," she muttered. "Paperwork... investigate this... paperwork... investigate that... paperwork... paperwork for clearance of the paperwork... sign more paperwork so I can get the paperwork for the clearance of the paperwork...,"
Agent Draconian leaned back and closed her eyes.
"... If I ever find the person who invented paperwork, I'll kill them," she observed, weakly. She opened her eyes, slightly, and looked up as the door slammed, marking Agent Chupacabra's arrival. Agent Chupacabra casually walked in and cracked his neck before heading for the snackbar. Agent Draconian paused, then sighed again and closed her eyes.
"How was your day?" she inquired.
Agent Chupacabra grunted.
"That bad?" she sighed.
Agent Chupacabra grunted again.
"... Oh well...," Agent Draconian shrugged. "I guess all days can't be perfect... but atleast it wasn't a total loss... Atleast the Sasquatch case was a huge success!"
Agent Chupacabra froze as his expression turned panicked. He tried to hide his sudden expression but Agent Draconian noticed it almost instantly. She paused and turned to look at him, her expression bland.
"NOTHING went wrong with the Sasquatch case, RIGHT?" she said, calmly. "Everything was dealt with... all that was left was to turn in the paperwork... which you did, RIGHT?"
"... Um... well... yes and no," Agent Chupacabra began.
"... Yes and no?" Agent Draconian's eyebrow arched.
"Well, you see... I turned in the paperwork, definitely!" Agent Chupacabra laughed, nervously. "And... you're not going to believe this, but...,"
"You DIDN'T...," Agent Draconian stared.
"... Well, let's just say...," Agent Chupacabra fidgeted. "... That due to a filing error... the Sasquatch is currently inside a warehouse, on lent for the Thanksgiving Parade as a float,"
"... ...,"
"But we can get it back after the parade!" Agent Chupacabra gushed, quickly. Agent Draconian simply stared at him, then turned slowly to face the table in front of her. She blinked twice, and then proceeded to hit her head against the hard surface repeatedly.
Agent Chupacabra winced with each loud thwack.
"... ... But atleast they don't realize it's alive!" Agent Chupacabra offered.
Another thwack issued as Agent Draconian continued to hit her head against the surface.
"What's that noise!?"
Agent Chupacabra glanced up as a tall, muscular man walked in to the room through the back door. He was tanned red, like sunburn, with a mess of spiked blue hair on his head that matched his deep blue eyes. He wore tight black bicycle shorts and a matching black tank top, complete with black sneakers. He glowered, bags under his eyes, and glanced at Agent Draconian, who continued to bang her head against the table.
"Morning, dad," Agent Chupacabra replied.
"What's her problem?" the man inquired.
"Eh," Agent Chupacabra shrugged, then returned to the snackbar. The man blinked, then glanced at Agent Draconian once more before he turned to join his son at the snackbar.
"... Give me something strong," the man said as he sat down, scowling.
"Bad day?" Agent Chupacabra inquired as he set a jug of his javacola in front of his father.
"I hate children," the man growled. "Imagine... me reduced to teaching other people's brats! What ever happened to the good old days?!"
Agent Chupacabra didn't respond as he poured himself some javacola, obviously used to such rants.
"I wish we could go back... go back to then!" the man continued, unaware that no one was listening. "It was a huge mistake to ever accept Dance Dance Revolution and ParaParaParadise in to our lives!"
"I like Dance Dance Revolution and ParaParaParadise," Agent Chupacabra said. He blinked and glanced at his father, who glared venomously at him. Instantly sensing that he had said the wrong thing, Agent Chupacabra coughed and returned to his drink.
"Those machines...," the man growled. "They made us weak... undiciplined...," The man paused and glanced at Agent Draconian, who gurgled as she slumped against the table with a concussion. "... and make us beat our heads against tables!"
"No, I think that's just her," Agent Chupacabra shrugged.
"We've got to do something!" the man hissed. "Something to rekindle what we lost...,"
"But what?" Agent Chupacabra blinked.
"... What ever happened with those Irkens?" the man purred, suddenly very mischevious.
"Um... nothing," Agent Chupacabra muttered. He glanced at the unconscious Agent Draconian. "She said we shouldn't get involved yet...,"
"Feh!" the man snorted. "Forget about that. Let's go deal with them! Just like the old days! We'll even bring her along! She could use the exercise!"
"Won't she get mad?" Agent Chupacabra stared.
"... She's unconscious! She can't complain if she doesn't know what's happening!"
"You are SO cool, dad,"
-------------------
A soft, cheerful hum issued as a tall Irken ran a cleansing cloth across the windshield of a Vootrunner. He hummed, his soft pinkish red eyes glowing as he worked. He wore white medical robes with pinkish red trim, a black headband around his forehead with a saucer-like device that was customary for doctors.
The Irken hummed quietly as he worked, alone and in darkness.
Atleast, he had thought he was alone.
Suddenly, a cane whipped out of the darkness and pressed against his neck in a choke hold fashion. The Irken squeaked, then sighed miserably.
"Hello, my retired Tallest Orange,"
"Hello, Fuchsia," Orange's eyes twinkled in the darkness as he used his cane to hold the other Irken tightly. "Working late?"
"Yes," Fuchsia replied, wearily. "... So what brings you here, dare I ask?"
"I suppose you've heard about Fab," Orange tilted his head.
"Yes, I have," Fuchsia responded. "I also heard you are banned from every Vootrunner,"
"Then you know why I'm here," Orange responded.
"Let me guess," Fuchsia grumbled, miserably. "You want to use a medical unit Vootrunner, which are the only Vootrunners not heavily guarded, to go find Fab,"
"Indeed," Orange beamed.
"And...," Fuchsia slumped. "... I'm your hostage?"
"You catch on real quick!" Orange grinned. "Now get in and drive,"
"... I hate you,"