No Rest for the Wicked Chapter 11, a hellsing fanfic

Many apologies for not updating; life hit like a five-alarm bitch, and took the muse with it. Hopefully it'll stick around for awhile!

Jan gave Seras the next night off to think about what he had told her, tossing her the keys and telling her to make good use of the break.

And that was where Seras found herself; driving aimlessly around the county, from one end to the other, indeed thinking about everything. The number one thought prevalent in her mind was, is this what I truly want? Some weeks ago -hell, even a day ago- the answer would have been a definite NO. But she had FELT the bloodlust. FELT the power. WITNESSED what a creature like herself was capable of, and told that it could all be hers.

And for such an explanation to have come from Jan of all people was baffling. Empathy wasnt a word she would ever use to describe the man, but whether it was his access to her very thoughts and emotions, or the idea that he had perhaps had some kind of existential crises of his own at some point in the past, he was able to understand precisely what was eating at her.

And he was right. She WAS a human. She IS a vampire.

Seras had pulled over and was sipping a Coke, something she got no buzz from but could still enjoy the flavor of, in the parking lot of a convenience store when something caught her superior eyesight in a passing car.

That man...she KNEW that man that was driving that car! He was a Hellsing informant she had seen only once, but her memory and eyes did not deceive her. But if he was all the way out here, that could only mean one thing.

Hellsing was not far away.

Hellsing...

...was it possible...JUST possible...that they could take her back?

Seras flinched slightly when a twinge in her head flickered like a harsh harbinger of what Jan would do to her if he had heard that thought, but that only fueled the insane thought.

Fuck it.

She started up the car and followed the informant, her hands clenching the steering wheel hard enough to almost break it, fighting like mad not to weave in and out of traffic to catch up, keeping an eagle eye on where he was going and following as best she could.

It was a good ten minutes that she was out of the town and close to a wooded area that the car began to sputter, and Seras swore when she saw that she had foolishly forgotten about the gas. She glanced ahead and saw that there were no other cars going down this road, and a car following his would seem suspicious anyway. Seras quickly unclipped the seatbelt and got out of the car, sprinting after him, keeping to the shadows.

Fast as she was, her plan of keeping out of sight kept her from going as fast as necessary to truly keep up, and she found herself somewhat left behind as the car drove onward. Seras was about to pick up the pace at full speed when she heard gunfire in the woods.

Flashbacks of the most unpleasant variety caused an involuntary shudder to run down her spine. She recognized those gunshots anywhere. It came from a gun she had close association with, and she felt her hand creep up and press against the right side of her chest.

Alucard.

Before she could even fully realize what she was doing, Seras found herself sprinting through the woods toward the gunfire, feeling that if her heart could beat again, it would have pounded out of her chest by now. Please, she thought wildly, feeling tears build up, please accept me back! Please!

She bolted through the foliage and into a clearing, and nearly toppled a small group of ghouls in the process. The ghouls immediately swarmed her, and Seras began dispatching them quickly. She didnt have time for this! She had to hurry and find-

The sound of a gun cocking the moment she disposed of the last ghoul made her freeze. All was quiet save for the wind whispering through the leaves as she slowly turned around.

Alucard.

He was here.

And his gun was pointed right at her head.

Seras remained still for the longest time before swallowing hard. "...M...Master..." she began, immediately feeling the title thicken on her tongue. No, that's wrong, her instincts told her. Not Master. She shoved that instinct aside. "...please..." she began again.

Alucard said nothing, his gun not wavering in the least. Seras couldnt see his expression; vampiric eyesight be damned, but the shadows covering his face were unnaturally dark, as though he was purposely hiding himself from her. Seras swallowed again, holding up her hands slightly as though to prove to him that she wasnt dangerous.

"...please...I want to go home..." Tears of sincerity welled in her eyes. "...I know...I dont belong to you anymore...but I want to go home, Ma-Alucard," she tagged on, feeling like her instinct wouldnt allow her to repeat the title faux pas. "...I'll do whatever Sir Hellsing wants...anything at all, please..."

Still nothing from the elder vampire, and Seras felt like she was about to go mad from the silence when her instinct suddenly kicked into massive overdrive, barely registering to her reflexes at seeing his trigger finger tighten and pull, the blessed bullet missing her by barely a hair's breadth of her head.

It took her a moment to realize it. He SHOT at her! Her eyes widened as she saw his finger prepare to tighten again. "STOP!" she screamed, feeling the red-tinged tears run down her face. "DONT SHOOT ME! PLEASE-!"

Her pleading had cost her dearly, as her reaction time slowed by the fraction of a second she couldnt spare to lose, and her shoulder caught the bullet, the force throwing her back to the ground, where the white-hot agony took a moment to register before kicking in. She clutched her bleeding shoulder tightly, resisting the urge to curl up into a protective ball.

"WHY!?" she screamed, feeling the agony of being abandoned flare up in her all over again. "WHY!?" She heard the gun's hammer cock back again. "GODDAMN YOU, YOU BASTARD, WHY!?"

Gunshots.

Deafening, powerful gunshots.

And none of them were Alucard's.

The familiar presence of the blessed word made her feel freezing and sweltering at the same time as her world became a deafening blur of gunshots, blood splatter, and the sensation of being snatched up.

Master had come.

Everything was numb for the longest time, yet it felt like mere seconds before she was surrounded by familiarity and unceremoniously dumped on the floor.

Jan snarled, shoving Seras onto the floor of the loft. "I leave you alone for a couple o' fuckin' hours, and you fuck off t' Big Fuckin' Red!?" he growled, growing more pissed off when she didnt answer.

Big Red.

Alucard.

Alucard shot her.

Seras was vaguely aware that someone was shouting at her, then came the sensation of having a hand snatched into her hair, jerking her head up, her eyes flickering when she saw the Hellfire gold glaring of Master's eyes in hers.

"You fuckin' goddamn piece of shit!" Jan spat. "The FUCK do you think you are, pullin' that fuckin' stunt on me, huh!?" He shook her by the hair hard. "Answer me! ANSWER ME, YOU CUNT-"

He was cut off by screaming. Loud, anguished, tortured, wrathful screaming that startled him into letting go of her hair as her own hands replaced his, practically tearing it out as she slammed her head into the floor.

"WHY!?" was the word she screamed shrilly over and over again, slamming her head into the floor with each repetition, the dent in the floor staining with her blood before long. Her fists began following the motion, pounding on the floor as she screamed like a tortured child, feeling the agony, the despair, the HATE toward her former Master well up and overflow, consuming every part of her.

"I HATE YOU!" Her teeth sharpened dangerously, gnashing in her rage. "YOU GODDAMNED SON OF A BITCH! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" She curled up tightly, her nails digging into the wound on her shoulder, growling. "FUCK YOU! FUCK HELLSING! FUCK YOU ALL! FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL!" She broke down into hysterical sobbing, her body convulsing in adrenaline and pain.

Jan stood there watching, her mind open like the wound on her shoulder, giving him the full view of her thoughts and emotions, and felt that there was no need for any punishment.

She had learned this lesson oh, so well. And he couldnt have asked for better results. His Baby Bat had been broken, and now he could remake her in any way he wanted. Oh, the ideas...

He knelt down, brushing her bloody hair from her face. "Look at me," he commanded. Seras's blazing gold eyes flicked up to meet his, and through the haze of rage, he could see a desperation to obey and please. 'I'm broken inside,' they said. 'Fix me.'

"Happy to oblige, Baby Bat."

"No more cryin'," he said. "Fix yer shoulder." He sat back, watching as Seras took on an expression of confusion, then concentration as she clenched her eyes shut and pulled her fingertips from the gaping wound, seeing the flesh begin to mend until there was nothing but a patch of blood on the smooth skin.

Jan let out a sigh, sitting back in his chair, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up, watching her catch her proverbial breath and get a grip on her emotions until she adopted the same numb mindset she had when he was carting her back here. He took a long drag before exhaling and getting right to the point.

"Hellsing dont want you. Alucard dont want you. All you've got left is me. An' like I been tellin' you, it can be good, or it can be bad. So." He took another drag, watching her intently until he was sure his words were penetrating the numbness she put herself into. "What's it gonna be, Baby Bat?"

Seras felt like she could curl up and die, be left alone forever in her pain. Jan's words were mingled and slurred in her brain, like he was trying to speak to her underwater...but one thing stood out among the rest of the garble.