Harry stumbled into the kitchen the next morning. His eyes were still half-shut. The light was bright, so bright. His head was pounding and he wasn't sure if his stomach could keep anything down. He opened the cabinet where the hangover potions were kept and to his horror discovered it was empty.
"Looking for this?" a voice from the other side of the room drawled.
He spun around to see his stepfather holding a vial and leaning against the wall with a challenging eyebrow raised at him.
"Sit down."
Harry sat. He was in too much pain to argue.
"Do you want to explain to me why I found one of my female students drunk and sneaking out of your room late last night? A female that was not your girlfriend, might I add."
Poor Hermione, he could only imagine how that had gone.
"I….umm..."
"You're just like your father," the man hissed, leaning menacingly on the table, "He always had an extra woman for when his girlfriend wouldn't put out or when he just wanted something different. Why do you think he and your mother broke up the first time? She caught him cheating on her."
"It's not like that. I didn't mean for it to happen."
"That's what he always said."
Harry buried his face in his hands.
"She looked out for you for seven years. She saved your life more times than I can count. She risked her life for you, her parents' lives. She let herself be tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange rather than betray you. She sacrificed so much, and this is how you repay her?" The man was furious.
"She doesn't deserve this from you."
"I know that."
Finally the man handed him the vial which he gulped down at once.
"Please don't tell my mother. I don't want her to be disappointed in me."
"Fine," Snape said in disgust, slamming the kitchen door on his way out.
Harry was left in the kitchen alone, thinking back over the conversation which had just occurred. He had not been surprised by the harsh lecture. He had not been surprised by the unfavorable comparisons to his father. What he had been surprised about was that the man's concern was for the woman he had cheated with, not the woman he had cheated on. It seemed that the professor had a little more respect and affection for Hermione than he had ever let on.
x
x
There was a tapping at her window that woke her. She groaned at the sting of the light as she opened one eye. She rolled over and hid her face under the pillow when she heard the tapping at the window again. Why couldn't wizard letters arrive silently like muggle letters. Muggle letters just sat in your mailbox quietly and waited until you felt like checking for them. They certainly didn't tap at your window when you were asleep and insist on your immediate attention.
Finally giving in to the incessant tapping, she stumbled out of bed and over to the window. A large brown owl flew into the room, dropping a thick envelope at her feet and flying back out the window. The envelope apparently contained more than just parchment since it had made a slight clinking noise when it was dropped on the floor.
She tore open the envelope and emptied the contents onto her desk. It contained two vials. She examined the first one. It was a potion that she recognized and quite desperately needed. She uncorked it and quickly gulped down the hangover potion that the vial contained. The contents of the second vial took her slightly longer to identify. It was not a potion that she had used before so instead had to rely on her book knowledge to discern its contents. Her brain sifted through the possibilities before settling on the potion with matching color, consistency and smell. She blushed and fervently hoped that it was not sent by who she thought it was sent by. She unrolled the small piece of parchment that was wrapped around the vial. "While I fully believe that you have both the talent and the knowledge to brew this yourself, it is not advisable to attempt it for the first time in the twelve hours you have to take this, nor is there any room for error." It was unsigned but she recognized the handwriting immediately from the disparaging comments on her essays. He was obviously aware of how it would have looked to an outsider if the owl had been intercepted and the impropriety those implications would have for both of them. She swallowed the contraceptive potion. It was a small act of kindness from a man who was not known for them.
x
x
Severus was in the middle of brewing when he heard a knock from the front door. Casting a stasis spell on the potion, he left it to go see who was calling. He opened the door to see possibly the last face he was expecting to see today, surrounded by a bushy head of hair that had been considerable tamed since he had seen it the previous night.
"Harry's…at the burrow. The Weasley's arrived back from Romania today," he managed to awkwardly sputter out.
"I know. I came here to talk to you."
He raised one eyebrow. He had expected her to hide in shame and avoid him for at least the next several months. He opened the door and let her into the house.
"I was in the middle of brewing, perhaps you would like to assist me."
"Yes, I'd like that very much."
She followed him to his lab.
"It's just that I was supposed to go to the burrow today, but I'm sure you understand how awkward that would be today. The thing is that I had already told my aunt that I was going and I didn't want to explain to her why I couldn't and I couldn't think of anywhere else to go….so I just came here. I was thinking maybe if you gave me an assignment or something, just to keep my mind off of everything."
He studied her.
"I could use some help."
"Thank you."
They worked in relative silence for a few hours, only punctuated by his occasional instructions and her questions. Finally, he left her to finish stirring the potion, while he went over his notes at his desk.
"Can I ask you something?"
He looked up from his notes.
"Haven't you been asking me questions all day?"
"Something personal."
He hesitated.
"It's only fair, I mean, after last night you know quite a bit about my personal life."
"Fine. One question."
She took a deep breath.
"When Lily was still with James, and not when she was with him after her memories of you had been erased, but the first time she was with him, when she chose to be, if you had had the opportunity to…"
"She would never have," he interrupted her,
"If you had," she continued, unfazed, "would you have taken it?"
He remained silent for a long time and she was pretty sure that he was not going to answer her question. Finally, there was a whispered reply.
"Yes. And it would have destroyed me."
She nodded.
x
x
Harry had spent the days, surrounded by the entire Weasely family, being consumed by guilt. The guilt had slowly boiled within him all day long, driving him mad. He had never thought he was the kind of man to cheat on his girlfriend. He had thought that was other guys, never him. She hung on him, all day long, hugging him and kissing him even as he pulled away, knowing that he didn't deserve her affections.
"You're the best boyfriend ever," she told him. He knew it wasn't true.
Finally, the guilt boiled into a rage within him. It was Hermione's fault. It had to be. He was Harry Potter. He would never willingly cheat on his girlfriend. She had caused it all. She had pretended to be his friend for so many years and then had ruined his life. He held in the rage, trying his hardest not to snap at any of the members of the Weasley family.
Finally it became too much for him and he excused himself, complaining of a headache and returned home. He opened the front door of his house and desperately hoped that no one was there. All he wanted in the whole world was to be alone, to rot in his guilt and rage by himself.
As he stood in the living room, the laboratory door opened. Inwardly, he cringed. Snape was probably the last person he wanted to deal with right now. But it was not Snape that emerged from the other side of the door, it was her. That was when he realized that there was one person he actually wanted to see even less than Snape right now. She saw him and froze, letting go of the door which slammed shut of its own accord behind her. She stood there, incapable of movement or speech.
"I'm not going to apologize," he said coldly, "if that's what you're waiting for."
"I…" She choked.
"I'm not going to apologize because you got exactly what you wanted. You planned on that happening before you even took your first sip of alcohol. You didn't sleep with me because you were drunk, you got drunk so that you would sleep with me," he accused.
She made no move to deny it.
"I should have known. Hermione Granger does nothing without planning it first. Did you make a list? Did you put it on your schedule?"
She looked away from him. He was yelling now.
"How could you do that, Hermione? How could you do that to me? To Ginny? I thought you were her friend. Do you know how guilty I felt today with her? How could you put me in that situation?"
She said nothing, but stared down at the floor. He knew he shouldn't be saying these things. He was mad at himself, not at her. She was just easier to take it out on. He knew he should stop, but the words continued to spill out of his mouth.
"Why did you do it, Hermione? Was it some twisted revenge on Ron? Were you just curious? Did you want to see how we compared to each other? How we each felt inside of you? Did you start planning to seduce me before or after you broke up with him? How long have you been planning this? How long have you wanted it?"
A tear started to make its way down her cheek. He knew he had gone too far, but he didn't stop.
He stepped toward her almost aggressively. "How long?"
"It's always been you," she whispered, turning and fleeing the room, leaving Harry in stunned silence.