Chapter Eleven
I frown, upon hearing soft voices behind the shelf of books I need for my assignment on Elemental Magic. I strain my eyes, however the voices are very indistinct and my curiosity is piqued. Since the announcement concerning the rumours of blood magic circulating, everyone is guarded and there are never more than two people seen together because they feared if they were in groups of more than two, they would be under suspicion. I, however, am not too worried, because my nose is clean as well as Andy's and Solona's. I open my book again, but the voices are becoming clearer and I roll my eyes. I don't like being disturbed while I study and this interruption is distracting me. I slam my book closed and I tiptoe to the end towards the voices.
"It's not fair, Lily. I have been an apprentice mage far longer than Solona, yet her Harrowing Ritual is a month away…"
I recognise that voice. It's Jowan and the funny thing is that the rumours going around are all about him.
"I am sure that's not true. Perhaps they feel you aren't ready," says Lily and I stick my head around the shelf. They are huddled in a corner - the same corner Anders and I often sat at especially when we wanted some time together. Jowan is leaning against the wall, with his arms folded and Lily is sitting on the table.
"That is utter nonsense, Lily. They want to make me Tranquil. They think I am dabbling in Blood Magic and you know that is not true."
"How do I know that, Jowan? Sometimes you disappear for hours and when you come back, you are always covered in blood…"
"Lily," he sighs, "I swear to the Maker that it is not me… What must I do to convince you otherwise?" he asks as he approaches her.
"Tell me where you go, Jowan," she replies and he stops just short of her.
"I can't…" he says softly.
"And you expect me to believe you?" she asks indignantly.
"I love you, Lily. Surely that is enough?" he asks softly as he tugs her into his arms.
"It's forbidden, Jowan. You. A Chantry sister. We should never have," she trails off. I move back to my table before I see anything more and I sit down. I bury my head in my hands and I sigh. If I don't inform Irving of what I have just heard, I will be in serious trouble and I don't want that. But, wait a minute… Is there anything to report? He has not outright said he's dabbling in Blood Magic… Perhaps it is just a rumour after all. I look up when I hear them and Jowan frowns at me.
"What? I am studying!" I inform them and he takes her hand and walks off. I watch them until they disappear out of sight and I pick up my book again, but I can't seem to concentrate. Come on Mari, this assignment is important. Just try. I reach for my feathered pen and a roll of parchment and I start writing the importance of using Elemental magic as a form of defence and I am so absorbed by what I am reading, I don't hear anyone behind me until I feel his hands on my shoulders.
"Hey there beautiful… Studying hard?" he asks as he comes around and sits on the table in front of me.
"Always, but… Andy, I heard something just now and it is really worrying me. Remember Irving telling us that if we suspect someone of using Blood Magic, we should inform him?"
"Yes… I haven't forgotten that. Why? What's on your mind, Mari?"
"Um… Sit down," I murmur reaching for his hand and tugging him into the chair next to me.
"Wait… You aren't-" he trails off.
"No, it's not me, so don't worry about that," I reassure him.
"Thank the Maker," he says softly, "But what is it, Mari? What do you know?"
"Um… Jowan was here about half-an-hour ago with a Chantry sister in that concealed corner you and I often spend time together… They were talking about Blood magic. He also mentioned my cousin and the fact that her Harrowing is not far away and he doesn't understand why Solona is going for Harrowing because he has been a an apprentice mage far longer than she has. He mentioned something about Tranquil mages and she wanted to know if he was dabbling in blood magic. He denied it of course and I came back here… I don't know what to do, Andy. If he is involved somehow, shouldn't I tell Irving? What if it is true? What if they realise I knew about it? You heard Irving…" I trail off.
"Mari," he says firmly, "Did he actually admit to using it?"
"No, he just mentioned it and that he is not involved with it. She didn't believe him, Anders. There is something else going on, of that I am certain," I reply.
"What else did he say?" he asks.
"I came away, so I didn't hear anything more and I continued with my studying, until you disturbed me, that is," I chuckle.
"And you don't mind. You've been here for too long. Surely you need a break?" he murmurs as he pulls me to my feet. He lifts me onto the table, cups my face, "You study too hard, Mari."
I reach for his hands, "I have to, Andy, otherwise how am I supposed to keep up with everything. You have been here for years. I have only been here for a few short, wonderful months. Two years is not a lot of time to learn everything I can. That is why I study so hard and the best part is when you and I study together… Is there anything you would like to share about Elemental Magic?"
"What do you want to know? As you know, my forte is the Primal School and Creation School. I don't really use Elemental Magic unless I want to warm my bath water," he murmurs.
"I would like to bath with you sometime," I whisper and he chuckles.
"Why, my sweet Mari? Is there something you wish to share with me?" he asks.
"Mmm… No. I just want to spend time with the man I care about. Is that too much to ask?" I feign annoyance as I attempt pushing him away from in a half-hearted manner.
"How much do you care about me, Marian? Do you care enough to," he murmurs reaching for my hand and pressing it against the hard ridge beneath his pants. I gaze deeply into his eyes as I loosen his belt and zipper. I close my eyes as I reach in and he moans softly before crushing his lips against mine and the force of it sends me sprawling flat on my back. Before I realise it, he has covered me with his body. He kisses me again as he pushes my robes up around my waist and I whimper as soon as he presses his erection against my innermost place.
"We can't, Anders," I whisper.
"Why not?" he murmurs, moving away from my mouth to the hollow of my neck.
"I…I… I am scared," I whisper and he immediately backs away, but not completely because I am clutching the material of his shirt with my hands.
"Of what, Mari? Of the way you react to me or the way you feel about me?" he asks softly.
"It's a bit of everything, Anders and what we share and the fun times we have shared thus far, I don't want to lose that. It will kill me to lose you. I love you too much, Anders," I whisper.
"Hey, did anyone say I was going anywhere, my love?" he chuckles.
"Um… No, but I am going home at the end of next year, Andy," I point out.
"I know," he sighs, "Then let me ask you something," he says as he sits up and pulls me into the sitting position. He touches my cheek and smiles warmly at me and I reach for his hand.
"What do you want to ask me?" I murmur.
"May I make love to you?" he asks.
"You blithering idiot," I laugh, "You have no idea how much I want that," I reply.
"Then I don't see what the problem is," he points out.
"Oh Anders, there is a time and a place for everything and the library… Is not the ideal place," I point out.
"True… Okay. Because you don't want to indulge me, is it alright if we go for a walk before supper?"
"Well," I murmur, eyeing my books and parchments, "I guess fresh air is exactly what I need to clear my head from the mugginess of endless hours of studying."
"Then let's go… We can drop your things off in my bedroom before heading out," he says as he packs the rest of my things away for me.
"You spoil me, Anders. Why? You know I can take care of myself," I chuckle.
"Hey, if I learned anything from Wynne and I have learned a lot, the most important thing she taught me was how to treat women with respect… You can imagine her annoyance when she suspected something was going on between Solona and I. You know, she cornered me here and lectured me about taking advantage of her and I told her it was consensual and that she was the one who insisted…"
"Andy… What was it like…for you?" I barely whisper as I look away from him and I am suddenly very aware of heat flooding my cheeks.
"Awkward. She was very shy and it was very painful for her. Even when I used healing magic. She complained bitterly and that took the fun out of it for me. As for me, I was not sure of what I was doing. I may have been a bit rough with her… It was once, Mari and only once. In fact she ignored me a for a while after that and that is when Wynne got hold of me and gave me a piece of her mind. She also wanted to know if it ever occurred to me that she might actually conceive? I was horrified. Do you know what they do with babies born in the Circle?"
And I finally look at him, "No, I don't," I reply.
"They take them away from their Mothers before they even get a chance to see their newborn baby. They hand them over to the Chantry where they raise them and if they show any signs of magical talent, they send the children to the other Circles across the land. Do you know that there are twelve circles in Thedas? I hear the Kirkwall Circle is very strict and harsh towards its mages," he says and I don't miss the way he is clenching his jaw.
"There, they treat their mages worse than slaves, Mari. They are not allowed to see their families at all… Well, that is what I have heard, however it's not that difficult to believe," he continues.
"It can't be that bad, Andy? Surely? Here they treat us fairly well… I find it difficult to believe the other Circles are harsh."
"Yes,they are lenient here, but Irving and Greagoir respect each other. Greagoir steps in if he has to or when Irving requests his assistance, but for the most part, Irving and the Senior Mages, such as Wynne and soon-to-be Solona, they deal with most problems."
"But believe it or not, Andy, I am happy here, I really am. Knowing you and spending time with you every chance I get has made all the difference. When my Dad first mentioned sending me here, I was angry and hurt. I didn't believe it, because he has always said he will never send one of his children to the Circle, but," I murmur, perching myself on the edge of the table and reaching for his hand, "You have no idea how difficult things have been for me. Especially those six months before I came here. I celebrated my sixteenth birthday. It was a happy occasion, but something change inside me. I became angry and resentful mainly because I was in desperate need of friendship, so I went to the Inn. I started spending time there in the hopes I would make a friend or two, but no-one wanted to talk to me or sit with me. Then the unkindness started. First it was the local boys hurling insults at me every chance they got, then it was the girls joining in with the boys and I decided that if they were going to be so unkind, then why should I go out of my way to befriend them? So one afternoon, I stared shooting fireballs in the fields around Lothering. I wanted them to fear be… I guess I got that right, but what hurt the most was that the boy I was interested in, did absolutely nothing to stop his friends from hurling insults or stones at me. He sat back and watched. My parents knew exactly what I was doing and they spoke to me frequently about it, but it didn't stop me from showing off every chance I got, until the last time when my small fireball went out of control… It took every ounce of my strength to bring it under control. I didn't want anyone to be hurt on my account…" I trail off. The memory is still fresh in my mind and I have never forgotten the fear on their faces and in their eyes.
"If that is the case, Mari, then you are the first mage who has ever been happy in the Circle. Most of them hate it because they seldom see their families or loved ones… What is it about being here that makes you happy?"
"I guess it's because I am finding myself, Anders and the assignments I have done thus far have taught me so much even though my Dad taught me all he knew. He was a Circle Mage when he was younger and that is where he learned about the gift of magic. Knowledge he has passed onto me and knowledge he is passing onto my sister," I reply.
"Hold on… Your sister is a mage?" he asks, an incredulous and surprised expression on his handsome face. A face I am tempted to lavish with kisses and the thought makes me smile.
"Yes. She is only nine, Andy. I was seven when I first showed signs of magic," I reply.
"Maker that is young. You were young. It's rarely passed between siblings, Mari… But it's no surprise considering magic runs in your Mother's blood as well…" he says softly.
"Are you saying that it is not a common occurrence?" I frown.
"No, it isn't. The magic that resides in your blood must be powerful, Mari and the possibility of you giving birth to a mage child is there…" he trails off.
"Andy, I am only sixteen and the possibility of a child of my own is the furthest thing in my mind."
"But the possibility is there, my love… Should we," he trails off.
"Don't spoil my mood, Anders and besides I am responsible and I will be very diligent," I murmur, "Now if you will excuse me, I should go back to my dorm so that I can finish my assignment."
"Mari, our walk? Please?" he murmurs as he grabs hold of my hands.
"Okay… Relax, but first I need to put this away," I say, pointing to my bag that is comfortably slung on his shoulder.
-v-
We lie down on the grass and we look to the fast-fading light of day. Another fifteen minutes or so and darkness will blanket the sky. I reach for his hand and bring it to rest on my chest but he moves it onto my breast and I elicit a quiet sigh I hope he doesn't hear, but he props himself onto his elbow and grins down at me and the longer he looks at me, the more restless I become.
"Stop it," I whisper as I half-heartedly attempt pushing him away when in actual fact, I want to feel his body on top of mine.
"You can try, but I am not going anywhere. I am as solid as a rock," he chuckles.
"You don't say," I chuckle as I manage to half-drag him onto me and he laughs.
"You aren't going to take no for an answer are you?" he asks as he settles himself on top of me.
"No," I reply, tugging him closer until I feel his breath on my cheek.
"What about a time and a place, Mari?" he asks throwing my words back at me and I resist the temptation to roll my eyes.
"What about here and now? No-one is around. Most of them are heading to the diningroom for supper and you and I are out here, enjoying the simple pleasure of being together. I would say now is as good a time as any," I chuckle.
"Mari, I would say you are rather insatiable," he chuckles.
"No… I just happen to be in love with a good man who makes me happy and I would like to share in my happiness with him, but he is so stubborn and it drives my wild," I murmur, curling my hand around the nape of his neck and tugging his face towards mine until we lock lips. I wrap my arms around him holding him close as I possibly can to retain our intimacy.
"Mmm… You know we really should go indoors, Mari. Where it is far more comfortable and warm and private," he murmurs, framing my face between his hands and I with my hand, I gently grasp his chin.
"And I am hungry," I chuckle, giving him a quick kiss on his forehead.
"Mmm… For what, exactly?" he asks.
"Food and tea," I reply and he rolls off me, laughing.
"You are funny, Marian, you know that? Of all the things… Damn, you are insatiable. Let's go and eat out supper. Come, up you get," he says, jumping to his feet. He extends his hands towards me and he tugs me to my feet.
"Have you seen, Solona at all today?" he asks.
"No… I haven't. Maybe she's studying, Anders or perhaps she is with Cullen… When I saw her this morning, she told me she was very anxious about her Harrowing… Is it that bad?"
"Well, it depends on the mage, Mari. Some have no problems. Others barely make it through and others just give in," he replies.
"What was your's like?"
"Difficult, but I came through it, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here chatting to the most beautiful woman in Thedas," he chuckles.
"Don't exaggerate, Anders. I am not beautiful," I chuckle.
"To me, you are… After you, my sweet Mari," he chuckles as he escorts me through the door and he has the cheek to smack my buttocks.
"Anders," I laugh.
"I didn't do anything, Mari," he says eyes sparkling with humor and mischief.
"Anders," I whisper, grabbing his hand and lacing our fingers.
"Do you want me to do it again?" he whispers
"No… Go away, my infuriating rebel mage," I laugh and he grins at me.
"Rebel mage, huh? What about you?" he asks and I roll my eyes at him.
"Are we going to have something to eat or not?" I ask, spotting my cousin sitting by herself. I lead us to her table and she flashes me a smile as we sit down.
"Hey…" I whisper.
"Marian. Anders," she says quietly.
"What's wrong, Solona? Where have you been for most of the day?" I ask.
"Where do you think, Marian?" she snaps and the she sighs, "I am sorry. I am just anxious about my Harrowing and it doesn't help matters that Jowan wants to know why I have been selected for the Ritual when he has been an apprentice longer than me. As if I am involved with the decisions the senior mages make," she scoffs as she looks at Anders, "Perhaps you know why."
"And why in the Maker's name would I know that, Solona? I may be a senior mage, but that doesn't mean I know what the decisions are. Those are left to the mentors, such as Wynne… They will never make me mentor. I might just encourage the mages to flee," he chuckles.
"True… A rebel mage, Andy, that is what you are and from what I can gather, you are just the same, Marian," she says.
"Me? Well, if you call showing off in front of villagers, rebellious, then I guess I am. I don't believe half of what the Chantry teaches us, but then that would be called blasphemy, now wouldn't it?"
"As if you follow the law, Marian. Not when you spend every night with Anders doing Maker's know what behind those doors…"
"The same could be said of you and Cullen, Solona. Snooping around every night… I know what you get up to."
"And it is really none of your concern, cousin," she states.
"As is my business with Anders, Solona," I point out.
"Clearly, but let's not fight. I don't want to come across as the jealous cousin who lost out on a good man," she says softly.
"Fair point," I whisper through clenched teeth and he starts laughing.
"I like this. Two jealous girls. Only one has captured my heart," he says as he deliberately places his hand on my thigh.
"Well, I happen to like Cullen and we are good together. At least he knows how to be gentle and caring," she retorts.
"And your point being, Solona?" he asks quietly as he skims his fingers along my thigh, to my knee and back up again.
"And I think I have heard enough… Somehow I don't feel like sitting here any longer. Anders, I am going to bed," I inform him as I gracefully slide off my chair.
"Solona, what is your problem? As if I haven't apologised to you… Why can't you move on? I love her, and there is nothing you can say or do that will change the way I feel about her. Now if you will excuse me," he says as he reaches for my hand.
"Yes, why can't you, cousin? You claim to care for your Templar in shining armor, yet you keep on being unkind to us… Why can't you just accept it? And besides that, your Harrowing Ritual is just over six weeks away and I am sure we can do without any unpleasantness… Surely you can agree on that?" I ask.
"It's my nerves. They are on edge. I apologise. Maker, I do seem to spend my time apologising to you two… Look, I am really sorry. I don't know what has come over me. I am very pleased you are both happy… Can we move on from this?" she asks.
"Yes, if you are willing to accept us, Solona," says Anders.
"Fair enough. I won't bring it up again, I promise," she murmurs.
"Good, now if you will excuse us, we have studying to do. Enjoy your evening…with Cullen," he chuckles.