Holy Freakin Crap! I'm back! Sorry for the loooooong wait, but y'all see the date when I last updated? That was about the last time I was online. My computer screwed up severely and I didn't have the money to fix it. So… I'M SORRY! But, I'm back now anyways.

Chapter Eleven – Beyond the Veil

Remus Lupin sighed as he fell back in his chair, his eyes closing with a shuddered breath. He hadn't been able to stand Grimmauld place any longer. Everywhere he looked, he only saw Sirius. It had been okay, while he was running missions, because it was only for a little while that he was there, a night or two at the most. Since Harry had vanished though, he'd been there every single day and night. He was tired of it. He was tired of Mrs. Black's shrieking rages, tired of Kreacher's continued existence. He had no idea how in the seven Hells Albus could allow that miserable little wretch's continued existence. By all right's his life should have been ended the night Sirius died. He had betrayed them all, the Order, Sirius, Harry…

His stomach flipped when he thought of Sirius and Harry combined. What would Sirius say if he knew that Remus had failed so utterly where his godson was concerned? He hadn't meant to, but seeing Harry had reminded him too much of Sirius. Everything reminded him too much of Sirius. For over a year he had kept himself busy, kept himself from feeling the pain that was gnawing at his heart, at his very soul. He'd stayed so busy that he didn't have time to think of the loss, and now… now it was all he could think of. The werewolf in him grieved desperately, sliding back and forth from such a harsh melancholy to lashing out brutally at himself every full moon.

The clock gonged in the background, reminding him that even now it was time for another dose of the wolvesbane potion. He really didn't want to take it. Didn't care what happened to himself tonight when he transformed. Thinking about the potion though caused his mind to slip to their missing potion's professor, and back around to Harry.

Where were they? Had Severus managed to fool them all for so long, even Albus, and he was truly a Death Eater? Had he taken Harry? Was he hurting the boy? He let his head fall into his hands. No. Severus wouldn't hurt Harry. Why would he have protected him so many times, only to turn him over to someone out for his blood?

Dumbledore was not saying much about the disappearances, and to Remus it was like there was a large piece of the puzzle that was missing. Something that Dumbledore knew but wasn't divulging. The werewolf that usually lay dormant in him bristled every time he even thought of Dumbledore. Yes, there was something very off.

He forced his thoughts in some other direction and he pried himself out of his chair, moving absently to the cooling cabinet where he kept the supply of potion for his transformation. Severus had decided a year ago that it was easier to make it all in a large batch and just preserve it. Now that Severus was gone, Remus couldn't help but to agree. Trying not to taste the goop he forced it down as quickly as possible, and drifted out into the forest. Maybe some hunter would get lucky and catch himself a werewolf tonight.

"Where's Sirius?"

Ron froze as he was walking by the door, and turned to stare in at his friend. Sirius was dead. Harry knew that, so why was he asking? He started when Snape's voice answered. He hadn't realized anyone was in the library with Harry. Usually he was there by himself, reading any book he could get his hands on. Though honestly, had he thought Harry was talking to himself?

"He's been helping the Weasley twins the past few days."

"I've not seen him since that day I woke up. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't just an illusion, or a dream."

"I assure you it is neither, Harry. That first time you saw him, he was not yet completely healed from his time in the Veil. We had to bind him to his rooms to keep him from going head hunting for Dumbledore."

"Oh."

There was a slight hesitation. "I could ask him to come visit you, if you wish?"

"I… no. That's all right. I'm sure he's busy." Nothing else was said for a long time, though Ron could see Snape was frowning slightly at the back of Harry's head. He walked away with his mind spinning.

It was a long time later when Harry leaned his head back in his chair, taking his glasses off and running a hand across his eyes. "Why don't you take a break and come to the dinner, Harry?"

Draco's voice made him jump slightly, and he turned to look at his friend. The tall blonde was leaning against the library door nonchalantly, hands shoved into the pockets of his pants as he watched the younger boy. "And I mean come to dinner, as in actually coming down instead of hiding in your room or in here."

Harry blanched slightly and looked back down at the book in his hands, but remained silent. There was a small shuffling and Draco came over, flopping down in the chair next to Harry's. "The bad part about not being at school is that you have nothing to do here, Harry. I think when you were at the school you were so busy with classes and teaching, that it kept you from thinking about it, and now that we're here, away from all the mayhem and just trying to survive… I think all you're doing is thinking about it, Harry. It's not good for you. Or for your baby."

"I can't help it, Draco. Every time I close my eyes, every time things get quiet, I see him again. I hear his words. I hear his laugh. Merlin. He laughed! He laughed when he… when he…" His voice trailed off heavily. "I don't know who I hate more sometimes, him or me."

He hated hearing Harry talk like that. So flat, almost in a dead voice. It wasn't Harry. Harry who showed the world his emotions. Harry who yelled and screamed when he pissed him off. Who wasn't afraid to give him what for when he'd done something wrong. "You have no reason to hate yourself, Harry. It's not your fault!"

"I can't get him off me. No matter how much I scrub, no matter how hot the water… the dirt's still there." There was a long silence. "If you were in my position, would you do anything to change the father?"

"I don't think I'd have the strength to be your position."

Padfoot snuffled slightly as he made his way forward into the night. The full moon shown high in the sky, but past the forest line not even a hint of light shown. He growled slightly as he finally picked up the scent he'd been looking for all night. His ears perked with interest and he took off following the lingering trail. It couldn't have been too old. An hour, at most.

The stronger the scent got, the faster he moved. Just a little closer. He only had a little farther to go, that was all. He broke through into the meadow and stopped dead. The one he was looking for lay at the edge of the river that wound through the forest, staring deeply into the water's reflective borders. No sound came from him, only the deep mourning sadness that cloaks a werewolf who had lost their mate. Werewolves mated for life, and to lose their mate… He shuddered at some of the stories Moony had told him.

He crept forward quietly, mentally frowning at the shabbiness of Moony's coat. It was wiry and coarse, sticking out in patches and thinning in others. He could count the ribs visible even through the fur. He whimpered in dismay at the terrible shape of the werewolf. It was enough to cause Moony to turn towards him. For a long moment neither moved, then Moony jumped to his feet, looking both confused and angered as he growled at the big black dog.

Padfoot lowered his head; then lay down on his belly. The growling intensified, but he only responded by rolling over on his back and whining quietly. Moony growled again, though the confusion was audible in it this time, and slowly crept forward. Padfoot lay motionless as the werewolf came closer, sniffing. Looking for any sign of deceit in the familiar scent.

The next sound was somewhere mixed between a whimper and a growl. Apparently giving up for the time being, the werewolf huffed and sat down on its bony haunches next to the dog. The sun would be up soon, and then he would find the truth.

"Severus would be willing to brew a variant of Dreamless Sleep for you; I'm sure."

Harry started horribly, nearly toppling from the window seat. He glanced warily at the reflection in the windowpane, and tensed slightly when he saw the red eyes. He didn't doubt the man would keep his word. With Wizards oaths and promises held a lot of power, it was just… habit to an extent. It was still strange to think he was on the same side as this man… this… murderer. The very man who had taken away his parents and condemned him to a life without love.

No. Dumbledore had done that condemning.

"Severus has done enough for me already. I don't want to bother him any further."

"I highly doubt it would be a bother."

There was something so wrong with the fact Voldemort was talking to him in a calm voice, just neutral. It had been much easier to simply be hated and hate in return. If everything he had ever believed hadn't been wiped out from under him. "How the Hell would you know? You're used to having everyone ask how high when you say jump, and if they don't you kill them or Crucio them near death!"

Ah, there was some of the boy's famed temper. "I won't deny that I have killed those who stood in my way. I won't deny using the Cruciatus when I deem it necessary. I don't do it for the fun of it however, and I only use those when there is no other option."

"In your opinion." Harry was surprised at the way he nearly snarled. "Tell me, how exactly were my parents standing in your way? They were in bloody hiding!"

Voldemort regarded him coldly for a moment, ruby eyes glowing angrily before they subsided. "Mr. Potter. I realize that every thing you know has been turned upside down. I realize this is a very hard time for you. I do not however tolerate being spoken to in that manner by anyone. And, if I were you, I would think long and hard about where the information of your parent's deaths came from."

The Dark Lord turned and stalked from the room, leaving a very drained Harry to stare morosely after him. It was a long moment before he moved and picked up one of the journals on the nightstand. He needed distracting… again.

It was just past five am when the floo in the Burrow's small kitchen flared to life. Molly had been standing at the stove, going through the motions of cooking while her mind was with her youngest son, praying for his safety. The sudden roar of the fireplace caused her to jump and turn so fast that the frying pan hit the floor with a loud clatter.

"Fred! George! What are you doing!"

"Calm down, Mum."

"Yeah, we didn't mean to scare you. But we have something important that we need to talk to you about."

"With Dad."

"Can you get him up?"

"No need, boys." Arthur's head popped around the kitchen door as he walked in. "What's the problem?"

The twins exchanged nervous glances. "It's not safe to talk over the open floo. Step through and we'll explain."

From the twins that would have once caused speculation at any other time, but there was no hint of joking in their eyes, no merriment, only a cold hard awareness, and it sent chills through Molly and Arthur as the twins stepped back to let them through.

The room they settled in was not Fred and George's apartment. Neither was it a room in their store, and Molly looked around in astonishment at the thick black carpet beneath their feet and the pale ivory furniture spaced in the room. "Where are we? You've not gotten into trouble have you?"

"No, but it would –"

"Probably be best – "

"If you sat down."

Remus groaned and rolled over slightly, panting as he lay exhaustedly on the forest floor. He really didn't want to move, much less move to the other side of the clearing where his clothes lay. A movement next to his side startled him as warmth was spread over him. A familiar warmth that stretched over his entire body. He remained perfectly still even as he deeply inhaled. Sirius' scent clung to the material, but it wasn't until he felt the long fingers card through his hair that his eyes shot open.

Sirius sat next to him quietly, softly brushing Remus' hair away from his face. Remus was too tired from his transformation to even move, and all he could do was stare at the man. "Who are you?" He finally managed to croak out.

A half smile tugged the corner of Sirius's mouth. "Come now, Remus, you know who I am."

"No, I don't. I know who you look like, but it's not possible! Who are you and why are you playing this vial trick?" For one usually so docile, the anger in his voice was audible, and he tried to push himself up.

Sirius caught his shoulders quickly, forcing him back to the ground. "You hurt any of the wounds I spent the last hour healing up, and I'll tan your werewolf hide myself, Moony." Moony only stared harder. "There's so much to explain, and I don't know how."

Moony was caught as he stared at the face of the man who wanted him to believe he was his lover. Tears were caught in those dark blue eyes. He'd given him a chance once before to prove the truth that it hadn't been him who betrayed James and Lily… He sighed and settled his head against the pillow that this man was tucking under him. "Then why don't you start at the beginning?"

"I'm not sure where the beginning is. The Veil, I guess. It's not what we were told it was. Well… it is. But it's more than that. It's the link, between life and death, but no one is supposed to go through it. Not… not the way I did. I was alive when I fell through. I was fighting. My struggles disturbed… something. I don't know what. One minute I was looking through at you all. I could see you and Harry. Merlin… I don't know which hurt more, the look on your face or his."

"You could see us?" Remus was so startled by that, that he forgot he was supposed to be suspicious.

Sirius nodded, and his eyes taking on that haunted look that had been there when he escaped. "One minute I could see you… I was trying to tell you I was okay, I just had to figure a way out… and then the next you were gone. Everything was gone and all I knew was this black… void. I couldn't see anything, but I knew that someone or something was there." He was silent for a long moment, staring out at the river. "It said… it said it was the guardian of the dead, and that I was trespassing. I could either go back, or I would truly die." He swallowed hard. "But I couldn't go back, Remy. The Veil wouldn't let me pass back through. I tried. I tried so hard when I saw the tears in Harry's eyes. The guardian… wasn't pleased with my presence though. I could feel it move closer."

It was cold within the blackness. Colder than even the Dementors, and Sirius curled up as tight as possible, trying to hold in some of his warmth, but it didn't help. The cold clawed at him, and grew more intense as the Guardian came closer again, only to stop a few feet away. "Why do you stink of darkness, Human?"

"I d-d-don't know wh-what y-you're t-t-t-alking ab..about." His teeth were chattering so bad he was barely understandable. Finally the darkness fell back slightly, revealing a cloaked figure dressed in a dark black robe that shielded its face, and he barely caught a glimpse of clawed hands as black as the robe as the being squatted near him.

"It is strange that I sense no deception in your words, yet you're still tainted." Up this close the voice sounded odd… ethereal. "Better humans than you have tried to pass into Death and remain alive. I have never allowed them to remain alive for long."

Its words chilled Sirius. "I did not pass through the Veil willingly though. I fell through when I was hit by a curse."

"And this matters to me? By being here you are disrupting the flow of life and death. There are only two ways that can end, and you've already said you can't pass back through." Sirius could have sworn he saw the glint of fangs at that point, and he felt his eyes widen. He paused, watching the pale man before him with his head tilted in an almost curious fashion. "Death however cannot be absolute until one knows the truth of ones life, and all that you know are lies." It turned and walked away, but as it left two monstrously large forms began approaching, growling low in their throats, red eyes gleaming even in the pitch black.

"I had no idea what it was talking about. All I understood was that suddenly I was watching my life backwards from the point that I fell through the Veil. And I was in a lot of pain. I saw you. Over and over. I felt your love. Those years in Azkaban… Merlin, I didn't think I would survive that place, even in my dog form. The fact I was innocent though… the fact I still clung to my love for you… that's the only reason I never went insane… or killed myself." He swallowed hard, unaware of the tears rolling down his face. "Everything was so messed up in my mind, Remy. So many memories had been altered. I saw our bonding then. Right after we graduated. Lily and James were there, smiling at us… and… and Severus was there. I couldn't figure that out. I had always hated Severus, why was he suddenly at our bonding?"

He dropped his head into his hands, running his hand through the too long locks. "I forgot to worry about why he was there though, when I looked at your face. You looked so happy that night, like nothing else in the world mattered. That's the last memory that I had before everything went blank. When I woke back up, I was in a room that was warm, and I remember feeling so safe. That's when I heard the laugh. Merlin's beard, Rem, it had been so long since I heard that laugh."

Without even thinking about what he was doing Remus caught Sirius's hand and pulled him down beside him, instinctively wrapping his arms around the larger man. "Who?"

"Lily."

"You sleep like the dead Sirius Nigelius Black."

For a long moment Sirius didn't move, too shocked to even speak before his brain caught up. "Yeah, well, I thought I was dead."

"Not quite. You will be soon if you don't get out of here though."

"I tried Lily. I can't get back through."

"You tried through the Veil. The Veil is not natural, and exists only on the physical plane. We can see out of it from this side, and sometimes even talk to those there, but there is no exit from that abnormality." She was quiet for a long time; looking down at one of the men she had considered her brother. "You have to go back, Sirius. Harry needs you now. He needs you to protect him. And Remus needs you. He can't make it without you, Sirius. You know that. Werewolves die without their mate, and it's neither his time nor yours." Sirius remained silent as she bent and hugged him tightly. "You will remember the truth of everything Sirius, and he will no longer have a hold over you. Just promise me one thing."

"If I can go back to Remus, then I'll promise you anything, Lily."

She nodded as though having expected that answer. "When you find Remus, you have to share the truth with him. His werewolf half will have started to bristle against the lies, but the human in him won't realize what the lies are until you tell him. The bond you share will tell him that it's the truth." She pulled him up and pushed him towards the fire. "Remember the truth, Sirius, and it will never be taken away again." She shoved him hard into the warmth of the fire, and as the room dissolved he heard her last words. "Take care of my baby."

"I didn't really understand about the truth. Even after I was found, it was so muddled inside my head that I couldn't always make out what the truth was. For a while I drifted in and out of consciousness, not quite aware of anything except that I was back where I was supposed to be. Among the living I mean. Slowly all my memories were returning, but they were disjointed to an extent. Then a few weeks ago someone came to my room. They told me that Harry had been brought there."

"Harry's okay?"

Sirius shook his head. "He is now. But he wasn't then. He was in so much pain. Let me say all of this before you interrupt." Remus nodded. "He's pregnant, Remus. Someone raped him, and purposefully got him pregnant." Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Sirius cut him off. "You said you'd let me say all of it. Apparently the person wasn't happy with the way things were going, so they fed him a wormwood poison. If it hadn't been for the fact that Severus was in Hogsmeade keeping an eye on the students… I don't think Harry or the baby would have survived the night. Even after the poison was out of his system, there were still complications. The poison was laced with… something. Some sort of a mind-binding agent. It didn't work though. That's why they came and got me. Harry was fighting the binding, and for it to work without causing harm, he had to have someone to anchor to."

He took a deep shuddering breath. "He was in so much pain, Remus. I was so scared when I saw him lying there on that bed. I was holding him afterwards, just watching him sleep, and it was like all of my memories just suddenly clicked into place."

Remus let Sirius sit in silence for a long time, gathering his wits before he finally gave voice to his thoughts. Finally understanding everything. "It was Dumbledore, wasn't it?"

Sirius nodded once. "It has always been Dumbledore. Everything goes back to that bastard." They sat in silence for a long time with Remus's mind spinning as he tried to bring it all together in his head.

"If I asked to see Harry with my own eyes?"

"All you have to do is ask. I warn you though, he is at Malfoy Manor." Remus gaped at him, and Sirius gave a slight chuckle. "Give it time, Remus, and you will see. It is quite a lot to take in all at once."

"My Sirius would never set foot on Malfoy property…"

Sirius turned slightly, regarding the werewolf next to him. "I swear to you on Merlin's headstone Remmy, it really is me." He didn't take his eyes off Remus as he spoke, slowly bringing his hands up to trace his cheeks, and then back over the shells of his ears.

Remus flung himself into his arms.

Harry was exceptionally quiet. He hadn't said much to anyone since he'd gotten up that morning. Instead he sat in the window seat, his back against one side, and his feet against the other with his hands on his stomach. The journals hadn't helped at all last night. He kept thinking about how he had snapped at Voldemort, and the fact the man hadn't killed him for it. He was sure the man would have killed him for much less in the past.

He couldn't seem to get his moods under control, and he suspected it was more than just hormonal mood swings. He shuddered slightly, wrapping his arms tighter around himself, his mind returning as always to the burning question. What was he going to do? He knew without giving it a lot of thought that Severus really was the only one he would trust, but it was out of the question.

He stood and began to pace the room. So what now? Did he run? Where would he go? He knew no one except his friends in the wizarding world, and they were all here, the ones who hadn't turned on him.

"Potter?"

Voldemort's voice behind him caused him to jump, but he didn't bother reaching for his wand this time as he turned. "Sir?"

He blinked, then frowned at the boy's downcast gaze. His features were pale and drawn, but the dimness to his eyes was the most apparent. The dimness and the slight glitter of withheld tears. Merlin, had he looked like that last night? He suddenly found himself very aware that the boy was exactly that, a boy. Not a savior, not a hero, not even a traitor to the light. Simply a boy trying to survive with the world on his shoulders.

"You have visitors, Potter."

His brows knit in confusion. "Visitors, sir?"

He withheld the urge to chastise him for repeating what he'd said. "Yes. Would you like me to show them in, or would you like to go to them?"

"I… is it alright if I go to them?"

He wished he hadn't jumped on the boy last night for being so vocal with his thoughts. He had no doubt that this was where the sudden timidness came from. He hadn't even been cruel with his words though, why would it have such a reaction? "That would be fine Potter, just follow me."

He led him down three corridors before he found the room he was looking for, and pushed it open without a word. Fred and George were sitting in identical chairs talking with not only their parents but Remus Lupin and Sirius Black as well. Ron had somehow been squashed between his parents and was looking highly uncomfortable as Molly continued petting his hand, as though afraid to let go. Sirius had Remus cradled against his side, and the redness of Molly's eyes made it apparent that she had been crying. Whether over Ron or Sirius who knew? Voldemort cleared his throat, causing everyone but the Sirius to jump.

Molly paled drastically as she looked up at the Dark Lord himself, watching with a look akin to awe on her face as both Fred, George, and Sirius stood, bowing to Voldemort. He acknowledged their show of support in front of the Weasley's then stepped aside, allowing Harry to step into the room somewhat timidly. He frowned minutely as he realized Harry had replaced the glamour to hide his condition. "Harry! Thank Merlin you're alright! We were so afraid we'd never see you again!" Molly had rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. He tensed, but after a moment he relaxed in her embrace, curling his hands into fists in her robes as he leaned against her.

Voldemort knew the instant Severus stepped up behind him, and spoke before the Potion's Master had a chance. "That's how he belongs, isn't it? With all his family around him. It's what he needs."

"It is, sir. Just like you said, with all his family."

Voldemort glanced at him sharply, but chose not to comment as he watched Molly fawning over Harry, trying to convince him to drop his glamour. Harry however was stubbornly shaking his head. "Why does he do that?"

"What's that m'Lord?"

"He's with people he trusts, people he loves, yet he's still keeping that glamour in place."

"In a way he's still protecting himself. After what he's been through… I'm not sure he trusts anyone now."

"I wouldn't go that far. I can think of at least one person that Mr. Potter trusts wholeheartedly." He looked at Severus pointedly.

Severus scoffed softly. "It is necessity that he trust me."

"If that is what you choose to believe."

I'm back, I'm back! OMG I love you people! I almost died when I saw the reviews. Love you Love you Love you!