This... this chapter wasn't supposed to be anything more than a thousand word chapter. It was supposed to be basic and short, tying in a few little threads to make everything work together. 4500 words later, and 2 months of editing, and I'm still not fully pleased with it. However, it definitely reads a lot smoother than it had after the first push for NaNo.
I have the next chapter edited on paper, I just need to take the time to type it up. I've also been working on 'Traveling with Idiots', but I'm not expecting to have a new chapter for that for a little while. Our majestic idiot is trying to insist he can beat Azog on the bluff after the Goblin caves. Sigh.
Chapter 10
Going Home is Hard to do
It was disconcerting setting foot into the Shire again. It felt like stepping back into time. Nothing ever seemed to change here; as if the outside world didn't exist or was just a dream. Not that two and a half years should have made that large of a difference, yet she almost expected the rolling hills and peaceful pastures to feel different.
She hoped the her fellow Hobbits never found out just how much the Dúnedane did to keep their peaceful world just that. That the old alliances still held, even when most had forgotten them. It felt strange to not be questioned as she passed into tranquil roads leading towards Hobbiton;, there were no Bounders watching the roads, though she was sure she'd seen one in a local pub as she passed through Stock*.
In the time she'd spent with the Big Folk, she hadn't seen another land like this. Even the Elves were more wary of travelers. Of course, because she was a Hobbit, it may explain why they were lax around her and just let her pass, but it was no excuse. She hoped that that trust never shattered, yet worried for them at the same time that it would.
It was nice though to be able to let her guard down a bit while walking from Stock to Frogmortin. She was tempted to camp out for the night, knowing it would be one of the last times for a while she'd be able to enjoy the sky over her head for the night. Though it would be nice to have a roof over her head, but she knew that was only a day away in any case. If she detoured to the sleepy town of Frogmortin, someone would most likely recognize her and the surprise of her return would be ruined. Plus, it would probably be the last bit of silence she would get to enjoy for a while; between having to explain her actions and her adventurous spirit and the parties and teas she would have to attend to try and repair her reputation for her family's sake. She honestly didn't care about her reputation, if she had, she never would have left in the first place.
It was funny, she was more scared of going home than anything she'd done in the past two and a half years. After everything she'd gone through, all the battles she'd faced, this was the scariest part of it. What if they didn't accept her for what she'd become? For who she was now? What if she was shunned, or worse, kicked out? Then she wouldn't be able to save them when the wolves and goblins came.
It had been something that had bothered her during her time with the Dúnedane. How had the goblins get so close to Hobbiton in the first place without much warning? Some of the more outlying areas had been attacked, yet none of the other bigger villages had taken the kind of damage that Hobbiton had. She had surmised that they must have come in through Bridgefields and bypassed Frogmorton and Bywater because they hadn't draw their attention as quickly as Hobbiton had. Perhaps it had been an unlucky tad trying to hunt for food for his family had been caught and they tortured the information of where he came from. Or a faunt caught out playing. She hated the very thought that it may have been a faunt.
Her family wasn't going to take her leaving again; in the worst of the winter at that; but she wanted to keep the worst of the battle away from Hobbiton if she could help it. Bilbo wasn't exactly sure how she was going to pull that off all on her own, but she may be able to convince some of the Bounders to help her protect the boarders more closely than they had been doing. Bu most of them wouldn't listen to her because she was a Baggins and a female at that, so she was going to need help to get them to do just that. As much as she truly didn't want to, she was going to have to go to her grandfather and speak with him about it, as he issued their orders.
As she bedded down for the night; on the road between Bywater and the crossing to Tuckborough; she continued to think of what she should do, and what way to turn when she reached the crossing in the morning.
Bilbo didn't get much rest that night.
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By the time the sun had risen and she'd had a meager breakfast , Bilbo knew exactly what she had to do. It was going to be tendentious* at best; as no one would want to believe her, but her grandfather was her only true option. As much as she both wanted to go home, the safety of her people was her priority and was honestly the only reason she returned in the first place.
He'd be the one to get farmers moving to get their crops in early (she saw many that were still in the fields as she passed by them the day before) and the only one that could get the Bounders to do more than sit in pubs across the land. Or at least, give the order to keep a better lookout for trouble.
She was hoping they had about a month before winter really started to set in and they reached the point where there was nothing that could be done, but she knew the frosts would start much sooner. Possibly within the next week or so.
She also knew there was nothing she could do about the sickness that was going to pass though the land, however she hoped by having more food and better protection, they'd be able to weather it out better, and hopefully more of her people survive the horrible illness that had jumped from person to person, smial to smial, town to town like wildfire. They'd lost so many last time between the sickness, the goblins and the wolves. She wanted to help so many more survive this time around.
She stood at the crossroads, looking out over Hobbiton, and prayed to Valar that her mother would forgive her for not coming home right away.
It hadn't taken much to get an appointment with the Old Took. It actually felt like as soon as she'd walked up to the door, it had swung open and she'd been pulled into a tight hug by one of her many uncles, and then passed around from one to another, barely being able to get a word in edgewise, before she was shunted into her grandfather's empty study, and the door closed behind her with the promise of second breakfast to be sent. She truly couldn't even remember the last time she'd had a second breakfast, let alone a first that was more than a bite or two and on the way again. And she'd been hoping for a bath before being stuck in here.
She wandered over to the very full bookshelf that Old Took kept and was looking over the titles, when the door opened behind her. She slowly turned to take in the frowning face of her elder.
"I hear my wayward granddaughter has finally come to her senses and returned home." Gerontius slowly walked over to his chair and took seat, folding his hands in front of himself. "Take a seat Bilbo, I'm an old man, I don't want to be craning my neck to see you."
She very quickly took a seat in front of his desk and gave him a bit of a smile, he used her proper name and she wanted to take that as a good sign. "You're not old tad-cu, you're as spry as a faunt."
The elder Took tried not to smile at her, "Don't go buttering me up, you tween. You disappeared, on the eve of your wedding." He did smile at her for that, "And I'm glad you did, didn't agree with it, but allowed it anyway because I understood your tad's wish for you to settle like your mamau did." Looking stern again, "Yet, you stayed away, for far too long." Putting up a hand to stop her protest, "Yes, we got your letters, but they didn't say much, and you seemed to be leaving many things out."
Sighing, "Well, I didn't want you all to worry. I did come home though." She fought the urge to slump.
He grunted, "Bilbo, you're my favorite granddaughter. You had seemed to have a good head on your shoulders and then you up and disappeared on us all. The old crows wanted you exiled when you didn't come back within a year. The Bracegirtles wanted worse. They were livid that you didn't marry their son."
She had expected that, however, it didn't mean it didn't upset her to know it was true. "I wasn't marring that lout. He is foul. I will only marry my Heart, and since I met him when I was naught but a faunt, my own heart won't turn to any other but him. If you try and marry me off to someone else again, this time I will leave and I won't return." She sat with her back ramrod straight and glared across the desk at her elder, "Tad-cu, I am both a Baggins and a Took; and I believe I took in the best of both families. I will not be forced into anything that I do not believe is sound."
Gerontius looked taken aback, "Why didn't you tell us you found your Heart? You know that no one will interfere with that."
"Oh really?" She shook her head, "Mamau is scared of where my Heart took me. Even if she hasn't acknowledged it, she knows who my Heart is, she even met him with me. She knows my path leads out of the Shire and both her and tad were doing everything in their power to keep me here. I am certain that tad has figured it out, or he would have never suggested that I marry at such a young age to the very Hobbit that I punched and broke the nose of."
He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the edge of his desk, "You're telling me, after all I did to help those two get married because their Hearts called to each other, that they are trying to keep you from yours?"
She nodded, "Yes. For one reason only."
"And that is?"
She could tell that he was getting very upset on her behalf. Smiling, she let her secret slip, "He is a Dwarf and a simple traveling blacksmith."
Gerontius sat up straighter, surprise and a bit of anger on his face (and perhaps a bit of the Hobbit xenophobia mixed in), "No Hobbit has married outside of our race in many generations. The last is even just a rumor, that a Took married a fairy and that's why we live longer. Yet that was before the Wandering and there are no real records of what happened."
She finally did slump, she still had fight in her, but she couldn't let it out at the Old Took, he'd been the first to treat her she wanted, calling her by the name she wanted, "I'm sorry tad-cu, but I can not forsake my Heart. I've known of him long before we met. The mother has sent me dreams of him since before my name changed. If it means I must leave my homeland for good, please just let me say goodbye to my parents and listen to what I have to say about this upcoming winter. It's all I ask. If need be, I will go back to Rivendell and wait for him to come to me." She hung her head and stared at her roughed up trousers, unable to look him in the eye. He was the one she needed to believe in her.
He growled at her, "Bilbo Baggins, didn't I just finish telling you that NO ONE will interfere with your Heart?" He did nod when she glanced up at him, "It's a bit surprising to be sure, but you've got more Took blood in you than Baggins apparently and that means strange things will happen. Look at your old tad-cu, going on 128 and still here. I'm not going to make my favorite granddaughter, of my favorite daughter leave this land because of something as silly and important as love." He finally gave her a smile, but she could tell he was holding back, "Now, what was it you wanted to tell me about the winter?"
Grasping hold of the chance to change subjects, she jumped right into the issue of the upcoming winter and her fears of famine and attacks. Going into great details of everything she'd learned while away to try and keep him from questioning her foreknowledge.
They talked for hours, only stopping to eat second breakfast, then elevensies and finally lunch.
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It wasn't until well after lunch that everything had been settled, her uncles informed of plans and sent on their way to speak to wayward Bounders; that she was finally allowed to leave the office she'd been sequestered in since early morning. She was looking forward to spending some time with her grandmother, but knew she'd have to leave shortly if she wanted to make it back to Bagend before dark. The danger may not have started just yet, but things always had the chance of going wrong. Almost until the bounders were out in force and her family now knew that she was back in the Shire, she didn't want to worry them further.
Stepping into her mamau-cu's kitchen was the first time she really felt like she'd truly come home. With so many families living within the Great Smael, it was always bustling with activity. Someone was always cooking, as mealtime was never far away. Yet, at the same time, after over two years of hard living, with only a few people as companions, it was difficult to get back into the frame of mind of having so many bodies around her. She wanted to be comfortable around them, but it was much more difficult that she'd imagined it would be. They were all so curious about where she'd gone and what she'd done, so she quickly found herself fielding dozens of questions.
Thankfully, these were Took's and they didn't degrade her directly to her face for disappearing. Instead some of the younger ones were talking about the adventures they wanted to take as well and mamau's were worried about their faunts running into the wilds hunting for elves to befriend. She could tell that several were making secret plans of their own that would never be carried out.
It wasn't until after Tea that she attempted to make an escape and head home, only to be shepherded into a spare bedroom and told that she wasn't going anywhere else that day. As much as she wanted to, there was no way she could fight her mamau-cu or tad-cu, as they were the ones to do the herding. Bilbo honestly didn't want her parents to be upset by the fact she didn't go to them first, but since no one was letting her leave just yet, she finally gave in. It perhaps wasn't as hard of a decision as it could have been though, because she found the room she'd been given had it's own bathroom and someone had drawn her her own hot bath. It was impossible to say no to both of the amenities she'd truly missed, privacy and hot water.
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Which happened to be a good thing. Shortly before supper, and after a nice LONG bath that slaked** her need, she was ushered back into the Old Took's office and was greeted with a warm smile this time. Everything felt so much more manageable than it had earlier in the day. The weight that had been on her shoulders for many years, felt much lighter.
At least until she felt something crash into her back and nearly knock her over from behind. For a moment, it was all she could do not to attack; with deadly force; the unknown assailant; until she hear her mother's voice. Then, she turned almost as quickly and wrapped her arms around her mamau. Quickly realizing, that a runner must have been sent to let them know that she was home.
She couldn't help but cry softly into her mother's curls. It had been so hard to leave them behind and she'd been so scared to come home, but they'd actually come to her instead of turning her away as she feared. Even with her eyes squeezed shut, trying to stem the wayward tears, she knew it was her tad just behind her, with his arm around her back.
After a few minutes, and lots of tears on all their parts, they broke apart with wet laughter, "Oh look at you," Belladonna cupped Bilbo's face with her hands, "you've grown up so much. And are way too thin. We need to get some food into you."
Bible stifled a laugh as Bungo wrapped an arm around her waist in a half hug as she answered, "I've been eating all day, honest."
"Those elves know better though, I should write Lord Elrond a scathing letter to speak about his level of hospitality. No Hobbit should be so thin dear."
"Mamau, please, don't. Lord Elrond was a perfect host for the full time I was in his care and I learned so much while there. I spent a lot of time training as well though, learning how to live off the land and hunting too." She really didn't want to have to explain what she'd done while away.
Bungo squeezed her a bit, "And why would you need to learn that my little pea pod?"
She tried not to make her answer sound like a question, but it was very difficult. "Well, traveling the wilds is dangerous and I wanted to make sure I could come home safely too you?" She gave him a smile, but was certain he knew she was leaving something out.
Giving her a stern look, "And?"
Sighing, "And, I wanted to. As hard as it was, I really enjoyed it." She was once again looking towards the floor, "I know its part of the reason you wanted me to get married early, to try and save me from my adventures, but I needed to go and do it."
Lifting her chin to look her in the eyes, "Are you home now?"
"For as long as you'll have me, I hope. I do want to go back someday, but I need to be here with you all right now." She answered as truthfully as she could.
"That's all I wanted to know," he dodged a wack to the back of his head by his lovely wife, "Of course we want you home. We never wanted you to leave in the first place. However, we must discuss what has happened because of your leaving. For showing that your more Took than Baggins, for all the promise you showed in learning the accounts." He shook his head ans sighed.
Giving him a crooked smile, "Of course tad, I expected as such. Hopefully, things didn't go too badly while I was away."
Belladonna piped back in, "Nothing as such, my darling, other than missing you horribly. I'm so glad that you didn't marry that lout. The language he used when he realized you weren't coming back." She chuckled, "Well, it even made his mother blush. I even think his father tanned his hide afterwords even with him being nearly out of his tweens; no excuse for the way he acted. He tore up his garden and then tried to insist that we give him much more than what was in the contract to start with. A contract that was voided because you never exchanged vows with him and that contingency was not placed." She chuckled again, "He was very upset that he got nothing and even had to continue living with his parents." Belladonna grinned at her, "Though I think they were more upset with that than anyone. They kicked him out the next spring and he has a small smial just outside of Waymeet now, but no one wants to be with him. I know his parents worry now that they'll never have faunts to spoil, and at the same time they're glad to not have to worry about them."
Belladonna looked over at her husband, as he took over, "I'm glad you did not marry him my peapod. I don't know how he kept it secret, but there is something very wrong with that hobbit. Something that hasn't been seen in a very long time. I never would have thought it of him until after he realized you were gone. If he disliked you so, why would he want to marry you?"
"Maybe because I broke his nose? Or the fact that the Bracegirtles want to move themselves up in social standing and you gave them the opportunity?" She knew she should feel bad that she wasn't mincing her words, but she still hated the fact that they'd tried to marry her off.
"That was a fight between faunts, it shouldn't have continued to affect your relationship now."
"Tad, I hate him. Not dislike, hate. He has always been rude and picked on all the other faunts that were smaller than he was. He also makes fun of outsiders and nearly caused an issue when Master Dwalin came to fix our stove. That was what caused me to punch him, he was being hurtful and unwelcoming. Something no Hobbit should be; even if Big Folk aren't really welcome here due to then them causing issues with us, a Hobbit should be welcoming, friendly, and make our guests feel like they are at home. Master Dwalin was nothing other than kind to myself, and did the work at half the cost it should have been. I won't hear a mean word against him, no matter what others think."
Her mother was nodding along as she spoke, then broke in, "For a Dwarf, he wasn't all that frightening. If anything he was very gentle, and loved our cookies. That other one, well," Belladonna had the grace to blush slightly, "He was quite charming really. He surprised me, since he looked quite gruff at first, but the way he treated Bilbo and happily answered all of her questions."
Bilbo had to keep herself from laughing at her mother, knowing just how much Thorin had made an impression that day. Even posing as a lowly blacksmith, he always had a regal stance that just wouldn't be hidden. Which was most likely why his Master at Arms was there with him. She was surprised that Fìli and Kìli hadn't been with him yet, she knew that both had trained under her for at least the basics in blacksmithing before they went onto do their own Masters, but looking back, she supposed that they'd both still been a bit too young to leave their mother at that time. They were probably with him now though. And she hoped that the four of them were all safely sequestered in the mountain to weather out the winter.
Bungo looked rather disturbed as everything was disclosed, but couldn't help but grin at his wife, remembering how she'd treated him that night after his beautiful wife had gotten back from Bree. He'd been a bit surprised that they hadn't created a new faunt at that time. That; non-withstanding; wasn't what he needed to think about just now anyways. "My daughter, if you'd just come to me, I wouldn't have forced you into something you truly didn't want." Then he cowed under the glares that both woman gave him.
"Honestly, father, I don't believe that. In any case, I believe that I did the right thing by going to Rivendell and spending my time there. I have learned several languages, and how to protect myself. Now I feel much better about myself. I'm more like mamau, I need the adventure, settling down is not in my blood. And I don't think it will be for a long period of time. I'll still come home, but I can't stay in one place for long. It would only leave me longing to leave and saddened because I don't want to put anyone else through that with me."
"Are you sure Bilbo?" He looked distressed by the prospect that she wouldn't stay.
"I'm certain tad. I love the Shire, and this will always be my home, but my Heart lays outside of our boarders. I will follow him to the very end." And further if she had anything to say about it.
"What do you mean by your Heart?" Her father took both of her hands in his and gave them a squeeze.
"Just that tad, I have met my Heart, and I know that we will meet again. Until such time, I won't allow myself to be taken by another. I belong to him. I always have and I always will."
He looked stricken if by the news or by what he had almost done, she didn't know. "How long have you known?"
"I think I've always known, but I met him thirteen years ago. It's been long enough that I know I have never been attracted to any of my fellow faunts. He's all that I want and need. Something that the two of you should understand, better than any other. As when your Hearts found each other, many thought you were insane for getting together because of how different your families are and mamau's traveling spirit." She sighed and took her right hand back, placing it over her own heart, "I don't even know if he feels it, but mine beats for him and it always will."
Reaching out and cupping her face, "Then we will do what we must so that your Heart will be whole and filled my beautiful daughter." He didn't have to like the thought of her leaving, but he wasn't an orc, he wanted her happy.
Blinking away tears that threatened to fall again, she pulled her father in for a one armed hug, whispering 'thank you' into his ear.
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After sharing a very exciting dinner with the rest of the family, which had turned into an impromptu party because of Bilbo's return, they all retired for the night. Knowing that there were still several things that needed to be discussed before everything could be set right, but the most important had been addressed.
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Using the LOTRO maps as reference points. If she stays on the main roads, she passes through Stock, past Frogmorton and then into Bywater before getting to Hobbiton.
*teṅdeṅtious - expressing or intending to promote a particular cause or point of view, especially a controversial one.
**slaked - 1. (of lime) to become slacked
2. Arahaic. To become less active, intense, vigorous, etc; abate