Conversations with My Killer
Chapter 11 - Clever Girl

Emmett. "We have to go home. Edward is missing."

Jasper grabbed his phone. The person he called answered right away. "Alice, where is he?"

When he overheard her answer, Emmett's shoulders collapsed, and he put a hand on the wall as if for support. The fear in my heart ratcheted up by a mile.

Jasper ended the call.

I latched onto his arm. "Tell me what's wrong. Is he dead?"

"We don't know. She can't see him anymore."

"You don't know what's wrong, or you don't know if he's dead. Because there is a mile of difference between those two things. Dead you can't come back from. Unless you're one of you guys, which he is, but he can die again. Ashes and all that jazz. Wrong doesn't tell me an-"

Jasper slapped a hand over my mouth. "Stop the yammering. He isn't dead."

"How do you know?"

The question was lost because of his hand, and Jasper was perfectly content to leave it on my mouth.

He started in on the questions. "Emmett, tell me what you know. Why missing? Why not hunting?"

"He emptied the safe."

Jasper dropped the hand from my mouth. "The documents?" he questioned.

"Gone."

They needed to slow down. "What are you talking about?"

Emmett answered. "Fake driver's licenses. Passports. Anything we need for our new identities. All the folders were in the safe."

"What else?" Jasper asked.

"Rose said he left his phone and didn't take any of the cars. They tracked him to the ocean. From there, they know nothing."

Jasper stalked the length of the room and back. "Emmett, run to the house. He wouldn't leave without hiding a note for Bella. Find it."

"What about you two?"

"We're staying here until we hear back from you."

No, we were not. "If he's missing, we need to go back."

He ignored me and focused on his brother. "Go. Call me when you know something."

Emmett leaped out the window and went about the business of hauling ass back to Forks.

I came up with my own plan. "I'll drive the jeep home. On the way, I'll stop by my house and see if he left anything there."

Playing the role of the controlling jerk was Jasper. "You aren't going anywhere."

Hide and watch me. "I'm not letting an Edward understudy tell me what to do."

The insult made him fume. It would have turned into a battle if his phone hadn't gone off again.

The conversation made no sense from my angle. "I agree … Take three … I don't care."

Because standing around here was the last thing I wanted to do, I gathered up my things, stole Jasper's keys, and leashed up Panama.

We were about out the door when Jasper stopped me. "Don't go until we have more information. He's up to something, and I don't like it."

He was making this more complicated than it needed to be. "Call Carlisle or Esme. They can look for the note. It's stupid to wait on Emmett."

"I can't trust them like I can him. The family looks out for Edward first. If they find something, they might not let me know what it is. Emmett will."

He had a point. "That doesn't mean we can't leave. He'll get home hours before we will."

"We are staying. I need time to think."

Jasper could stay here and think on his own. "I'm going home, and I know you won't force me to stay against my will. You aren't like Edward."

"Actually, I'm worse."

No, he wasn't, and that was why five minutes later we were on our way to Forks.

Panama was not a happy pup. He kept jumping from one side of the jeep to the other. Every few minutes he went crazy barking. I didn't know if it was the trees bugging him or what, but he was out of control.

We were an hour into our trip when I got fed up. "Can't you calm him down? What good is your ability if you don't use it when we need it?"

"He's picking up my anxiety. We should have stayed at the hotel."

"And do what? Play charades. I suck at that game, and it wouldn't help Edward at all."

Jasper pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the car. "Pan, unload."

The dog barreled through the seats and joined his master outside. They disappeared into the night without so much as a wave. A wagging tail didn't count.

Being alone with my thoughts made for bad company. Ten minutes of it had me wanting to stab myself in the neck. I was all about Edward. What was he doing? Where did he go? Why did he empty the safe? How come Alice couldn't see him?

Thinking about him did no good. I needed to talk to him to understand what was going on with him. I also needed Jasper to hurry and get back from walking Panama.

I said to hell with waiting and went looking for them. There was a method to my madness. Jasper wouldn't let me wander too far. He knew I'd end up hitting a tree or falling on my face. Blood would be spilled and ugliness would ensue. La la la.

Sure enough, a voice came out of the dark. "Stop before you fall."

"Stop taking forever."

Panama came up and nudged my hand with his cold nose. I squatted down next to him and rubbed his sides. "Sweet boy. Are you happy now?"

"I don't know about happy, but he sure is smart. He started pulling on the leash as soon as you left the jeep. I let him go, and he found you right away."

That wasn't smart. He was a dog and could smell me. "I wish I was a dog sometimes. I could put my nose to the ground and follow any scent."

Jasper didn't comment, which was fine. I preferred the company of the furry beast. Panama licked at my hand. He was always begging for attention. Or it could be he was thirsty.

"We need to give him some water. We brought that cup with us, and I have a bottle of water."

More silence.

"Are you ignoring me again?"

Nothing.

"A grunt would do."

No grunt, but there was a gasp. It was me when Jasper picked me up and started running. He threw the jeep open and tossed me inside. Panama got the rough treatment, too. He landed on me and let out a loud yelp.

Checking on the dog took precedence over yelling at Jasper. I hit the overhead light and inspected him for injuries. I barely had a chance to look him over before we were thrown against the door when Jasper jerked the vehicle around taking us back in the direction we came from.

"Are you insane?" I screamed. "What the hell are you doing?"

Jasper didn't respond. He was too busy calling someone. "Clear out of the house. You've got an hour, maybe less . . . I agree . . . I will."

The urgency of his words and the panic he felt upset me more than anything I heard him say. Jasper could handle anything. He never got flustered or showed an ounce of fear. After that call, he was dripping with it.

Another call. "Where are you . . . Stop and backtrack. I need to know if anyone has crossed your trail. Call me when you know."

It had to be Emmett. The pieces fell in place. Edward could follow his trail back to the hotel. The other part was a little less clear. Who had he warned? Alice? Or someone else?

With him off the phone, I thought it would be okay to ask. "Was Alice the one you called first?"

"Yes."

"When you left the hotel earlier, you were visiting her."

"Other people have lives, Bella. I told you I had plans before we even left the house. Like usual, you made the whole day all about you."

I cringed at the truthful statement. I did make everything about me. Jasper was one of the few that pointed it out to me.

Rather than fall back into the old habit, I put all my attention on Jasper. Emmett wasn't supposed to know that he was in contact with Alice. "How did you mask her smell?"

"Look at my clothes. They're different. I took a shower and changed at another hotel."

Against my own volition a song about secret agents played in my head. It matched his life. He needed to take some lessons from James Bond because there was another problem.

"You screwed up tonight."

Jasper was not amused. "I can knock you unconscious."

He misunderstood. "I'm not rubbing it in. I'm talking about Alice. You called her immediately after hearing about Edward. No one is supposed to have her number. When Emmett puts it together, he'll know you've been talking to her this whole time."

He beat his palms against the wheel. "Fuck."

"And you'll break the car if you're not careful."

Emmett called back. What he told Jasper made the night more complicated. "Go home . . . I know, but it won't come to that."

My first question when he got off the phone pertained to the last remark. "It won't come to what?"

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"Thanks, Edward Jr. Go ahead and make choices for me. It worked wonders for the other one. "

No comment from him. Perfect. I let my mind roll through what I knew. Arguing with him would only distract us both. What did I know? Edward was tracking Emmett's trail. It would lead him straight to the hotel and then to wherever Jasper met Alice. Since she left, there was no reason for us not to go home. Why would he turn around? There had to be something he wasn't telling me.

"What else is going on? I know you're keeping something from me."

"He's with the wolves. It's why Alice can't see him. Something about them blocks her from having visions of them."

They never told me this. "Why didn't the family let me know?"

"Edward didn't want you exploiting the situation."

Of course he wouldn't. It was one more example of how he controlled my world. "You could have told me."

"It wasn't like you objected to the other ways he meddled in your life. Why should I interfere?"

I was about ready to slap him. Again, I calmed my temper and let my brain work. The wolves made the situation much worse. Depending on what story Edward told them, they would attack Jasper on sight. They were probably split into two groups with one following Emmett's trail and another following the highway in case they came across us driving home.

This wouldn't work. We needed a new plan. How much time did we have? Where could we go? I did some calculations in my head. The answer was easy.

"We should turn the jeep around. They won't know we did it, and if we go east at Aberdeen, our options multiply when we get to Olympia."

Jasper slowed the vehicle down to a crawl. "Edward isn't stupid. He'll know the tire marks might be a ruse. The groups would have to split up even more. One following Emmett's trail, one following the highway south, and another backtracking north to find us."

I grinned. "It will improve our odds all the more."

He turned us around, and we were now headed for Aberdeen. My plan was going to save him from a fight or worse. I practically swelled with pride. I was the one being smart tonight. It made me want to stick out my tongue at him and gloat. Childish, yes. But I still wanted to do it.

I settled for petting Panama. "See, little man, I'm not an idiot like they think I am."

Jasper had to comment. "Don't preen too much. If you weren't such a distraction, I would have thought of this earlier."

It was just like him to try to knock me down a few pegs. "Don't use me as an excuse. You've been messing up all night."

"You didn't give me time to think."

"You're a vampire. You're not supposed to need that much time. I'm starting to wonder how you survived this long."

"I didn't have you yapping at me for one thing."

Hardly. "You love my yapping, or you wouldn't come around all the time."

"I love it like a dog loves cats."

"More like a rat loves cheese."

He was getting exasperated with me. "Can you try to be serious?"

"Why? The wolves won't find us. Edward won't find Alice. We're good."

"We'd be better if you and that stupid dog would shut up. I should have killed him the first day we got him."

Grumpy much? Pan wasn't even barking now. "You just lost your Panama privileges. No more puppy for you."

I was joking, and he took me seriously. "You can't take my dog away, Bella. I swear I'm good with him. No killing. No teeth. I feed him and walk him. You know that."

Damn. He loved the dog. Really loved him. It was so sweet. I tried to reassure him. "He's our dog, and I know you wouldn't kill him or me for that matter."

"Well, ourdog is too much trouble. It's difficult caring for something other than myself. I want good things for him. Running in fields and barking at cats. I'm not sure why that is."

"Don't make it out like you've never cared for others. I know you and Alice are close. You also care for the rest of the family."

Jasper took a minute to comment. "It's different with him. I can trust my feelings and know they are real. With people, I'm never sure. "

This had to be the reason he put up roadblocks with everyone. He let them get only so close before stepping back. There was too much doubt. I finally felt like I understood him a little.

I also could see why he let Emmett tag along today. For all he hated the confusion in his head, Jasper also liked using it as an excuse. By letting Emmett accompany us, he could blame any feelings of friendship on the camaraderie we both had with his brother. What would happen now that he didn't have that excuse to fall back on?

The last hour in the car was quiet. I was worn out from what had been a very full day. I couldn't remember half of what happened. There was a fight, running, and a really good cheeseburger with extra pickles. Edward was missing. Wolves. More running.

"What are we going to do about the wolves? We have to go back home eventually."

Jasper pulled the car into a Wal-Mart parking lot and shut off the engine. "You're going to call Jacob's dad and let him know you're fine. The news will trickle down to the wolves when they call home. They'll confirm it with Charlie who knows you're with me. That or they'll talk to Emmett. He'll tell them you left on your own accord."

"So what do you think Edward told them?"

"No clue and I don't care. Could you hand me the bag?"

I leaned over the backseat. The stupid bag weighed a ton. "What do you keep in here?"

"Stuff I steal."

Sure he did. I lifted the bag over to him.

He opened a side pocket and pulled out a stack of twenty dollar bills. "Go buy some clothes. I hate this place, but nothing else is open."

I hadn't thought about clothes. "Thanks."

"And don't buy that shampoo you use. It's crap. If you want, you can use mine."

I ignored the comment on my shampoo. It was crap. "How long are we going to be gone?"

"Two days at most."

Shopping took all of twenty minutes, and we were back on the road. I hadn't a clue where we were going.

"Care to fill me in on your plan?" I asked.

"There's a house I use when I'm away from the family. You won't like it, but it's better than a hotel."

The house turned out to be a dump in the middle of nowhere. I found it amazing the old place had electricity and running water. There were broken windows covered in plywood. The hardwood floors had deep gouges in them from someone dragging something through the house. If there weren't holes in the roof, it would be a miracle.

At some point in its history, it had been a beautiful home. Someone had let it fall into shameful disrepair. There were even marks all over the walls. They were lined up in neat rows and numbered in the thousands. Whoever did it had way too much time on their hands.

The one good thing was it didn't smell funny. "This is different. Do you own it?"

Jasper dropped his bag on the floor. "I just use it."

"For what?"

He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my chest. "Look around and tell me what you see."

I let my imagination take over for me. I avoided the lines and focused on the large brick fireplace. I saw a Norman Rockwell scene with a dog like Panama by the fire and a family telling stories of their day.

"I hear the crackle of the fire and see its red glow reflecting through the room. I smell pine trees and cinnamon. It's a shame it's all in my head."

Jasper chuckled. "You always romanticize everything. It's sweet."

I bent my head to the side and looked up at him. "What do you see?"

"You smell the pine. I smell you. You hear the fire. I hear your heart beating. You see the glow. I see the blush on your cheeks and the pulse in your neck."

"I hate that it's always blood with you. I'm just another body for you to drain."

"Not always. Right now, you're Bella."

That was quite the confession for him. It made me smile. "What would you be thinking if I wasn't here?"

He tensed up. "Blood on the walls. Silent screams in the air. The marks on these walls are a crude documentation of every life I've taken. I come here to remember them."

It was morbid. Dead lines for dead people. "That's strange to me. I don't understand."

"I may kill, but I still value life. Probably more than you."

"That's not nice of you to say."

Jasper let go of me and walked over to one of the walls. He traced a line that was slightly longer than the other. "You decided to throw your life away in exchange for eternity with a boy you only thought you loved."

"And how many of these people threw their life away because they went on a camping trip or decided to walk home from work?"

"They had no choice."

"But you did, and you killed them anyway. How can you do that to their families? You kill one person, but you destroy countless others. I don't see you honoring those victims."

He used an index finger to carve another mark. My breath caught. He killed someone. When?

"Who was that one for? Jessica?"

Jasper brushed at the line knocking away any remaining dust. "I answered your questions regarding her."

I remembered that conversation very clearly. "You said you haven't killed her."

Shrewd eyes stared back at me. "You're really on the ball tonight. Bravo, clever girl."

"Angry girl. Tell me what you did."

"I will neither confirm nor deny my involvement in her disappearance."

"Why not?"

"Because the identity of one victim shouldn't determine your opinion of me. Look at the walls around you. I've killed thousands. Your association with Jessica does not elevate her importance, and I refuse to pretend otherwise."

He scratched another line and another again. "One person or one animal. One line. None more important than the next."

This wasn't a way to honor dead people. It was like notches on a headboard. Jasper was proud of his number and adding even more lines to show it.

I held onto his arm. "Stop doing that."

Jasper used his free hand to make one last long mark on the wall. "Tell me something, Bella. How were you planning on honoring Charlie and Renee after you faked your death?"

"Don't you think I'd change my mind if I could?"

That wasn't even the right thing to say. "I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what I want, but I know I can't hurt them like that."

Hurting them was inevitable. I would die. My loss would destroy them. They would mourn a daughter who didn't deserve their love and who lived on as a monster. Evil. Me. Selfish. Always. This was my fault. I should have run from Forks the first day I met Edward Cullen. He lured me in with his candy scent and crushed my spirit with his domineering nature.

I ran my fingers through my hair wishing I could pull it all out. "None of it even matters. I have to die. I have no choice."

Jasper pulled my hands down and held them within his own. "Why do you believe that?"

"What am I supposed to do? Leave Edward. How? He won't let me."

There was no comment from he who thought he knew everything. It figured. "He follows me everywhere. He breaks into my house and watches me sleep. If I told him I didn't want to be with him, he would find some way of forcing me to stay."

Edward couldn't live without me. I couldn't live without him. Neither was true, but both were what he told me.

I wanted today to be over. If it was over, I could start anew tomorrow. My keeper wasn't here. I could walk from room to room and house to house never worrying that he was on my heels.

"Where am I sleeping?"

"Up the stairs. Last door on the right."

Jasper didn't let my hands go. I tried pulling them away, but he held them tight. "Let go."

"Your situation is not as serious as you make it. Life will go on whether you are there to witness it or not. Your parents will move on. You will move on. We all do."

Was I being over-dramatic? Who was I kidding? Did a chicken have feathers? "I need to go to bed, don't I?"

"Yes. Go take a shower, relax, and try to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

A deep breath. "I can do that."

My room was in better shape than I expected, but I found the bed highly suspect.

Jasper set his bag down. "There's shampoo and soap in the bag. I'll be next door if you need me."

"Wait. Tell me about this bed. Creepy crawlies? Bedbugs? Questionable stains?"

"The bed is fine."

Good to know. "What about the shower? Dead people? Brown water?"

"The water is clean, and the dead people are in the basement."

I let the last part slide. He had to be joking, right? With everything I knew about him, it could go either way.

Jasper left the room, and I went about getting ready for a much needed shower. I swiped his soap and shampoo before gathering up my clothes. After a strict order for Pan to be good, I went off to the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, I came back to find shredded pages of a book covering the bed. Could dogs look smug? Because my little bastard did. He dropped the remains of a paperback, jumped off the bed, and ran out of the room with pages sticking to two of his paws.

I picked up the soggy item and chased after him. "Dammit, Pan. You get back here. Right now."

I found him in Jasper's room hiding behind his daddy, who was less than impressed with my angry face. "Stop scaring the pup."

"He ate your book."

Jasper rubbed the culprit's head. "It's not the first time and won't be the last."

Books were sacred to me. Chewing them up was criminal.

I threw the soggy remains at Jasper and stomped off. "You keep him tonight."

I rounded up all the torn pages and dumped them in the trash. Stupid dog. Why was it always books? Why couldn't he eat shoes or grasshoppers?

Or jewelry? There was a necklace hanging on the side of the bag. I held it up to the light. It was mine. I rifled through the bag and found other items belonging to me. Pictures. Drawings from when I was a kid. Pieces of jewelry. A couple more books.

Jasper came up behind me. "Don't freak out."

"What the hell is this?"

He thumbed through the pages of one of the books and tossed it back in the bag. "A book. I like Curious George."

I could have flipped out and asked him a million questions, but I wasn't even that angry. Kleptomania didn't shock me in the least when put against all the other things wrong with Jasper. Weighing it against murder made it seem perfectly harmless. He hadn't even bothered to hide it.

I sat down on the bed and rubbed circles into my temples. "Leave my room, and shut the door."

"You said I could borrow whatever I wanted. If you have a problem with it, next time be more careful with your words."

"Jasper, I'm serious. Leave. I don't want to look at you or think about you."

He sat down next to me. "Don't be mad. You'll get all of it back. I'm only borrowing a few things. I'm not some stalker like Edward."

I never thought he was. "I don't care what you are."

"You don't mean that."

No, but it was getting close. "Is it too much to ask for a normal day with you people? Do you remember when we had those? We watched movies. You stood in the corner and pretended to be furniture but even that was normal. We had picnics, baseball games, and life was easy."

"It was never normal or easy. You just didn't see what was going on around you."

"Well, I do now, and I don't like it."

Jasper sat on the foot of the bed and pulled me closer to him. "Let's talk."

I rested my head against his shoulder. "We never talk. You spit out crap, and I eat it up like an idiot."

"Not tonight. Ask a question. I promise I'll answer it."

"Really?"

"Yes."

I went with the one I thought would tell me the most. "I want to know what you meant when you said the family wanted to use me to become more powerful."

A long minute of silence followed my question. "Has Edward told you of the Volturi?"

"He told me they police your world. There are three of them who make all the decisions."

"Aro. Caius. And Marcus. They are all far older than me. We're talking thousands of years."

And they wore ugly clothes and looked chalky. I knew this story. "You are not answering my question."

Jasper lost patience with me and stood up to leave. "I give you answers, and you complain. Stay in the dark for all I care."

I took hold of his hand. "Don't go. I'm sorry. Tell me more. Have they been in charge this whole time?"

He sat back down and continued. "No. What they did was assemble a core group around them who were all incredibly powerful on their own. Aro is a collector of sorts. He rewards the most skilled of our kind and gains their loyalty."

Even with a supporting crew of vampires, it still seemed like an impossible task. "I don't see how they can keep control. The human population has boomed. The vampire numbers must have as well."

Jasper brought us back to the main point. "Don't waste time on the details. Focus on the big picture. Their power is unmatched because of the ability of one vampire. His name is Alec, and he can take down an army of any size."

"How is that possible?"

"His mind creates a fog that renders the opposition defenseless. He cuts us off at our knees before the fighting even begins."

That was scary. "With his ability, they could come in and destroy anyone and everyone. It doesn't matter how good of a fighter you are. He could even kill you."

"Exactly. Now imagine someone being capable of blocking that ability."

"The balance of power could shift to that person."

"And the coven she is loyal to." Jasper paused. "Assuming they are strong enough to protect her and take on the Volturi."

The pieces were easy to connect. "The family thinks I have the potential to block Alec."

"Yes, and if Aro learns of your existence, he will have you killed or kidnapped."

This changed up everything I thought I knew. No wonder Edward was so protective. It wasn't about him fearing small accidents or simple falls. He was worried they would discover my existence.

"What do the Volturi have to do with the Cullens?"

Jasper's words seemed to come out with more care. "For such a small coven, the Cullens are very powerful. They have an alliance with the Denali clan in Alaska, one of whom is a former member of Aro's guard. Add in our abilities and the family's alternative lifestyle. Tell me what you get."

"Aro considers them a threat."

"This is why you are seen as a valued addition. If you can shield the family from Alec, the family has a better chance of protecting themselves."

"Where do you fall in all this? Do you agree with them?" I asked.

"About you, yes. I haven't decided how I feel about the Volturi. Their power is what broke apart the armies in the south. I believe we are better with them than without them, but I do not agree with the ways in which they wield their influence."

Jasper wasn't finished. "My opinions are not important. You are. If you live up to your potential, there are people who will use you for their own gain. It is imperative you learn to stand on your own because there is no one you will be able to trust."

That included him. "What do you want out of this?"

"To survive. If there is a war, I don't care which side wins. I only care that I live through it. Being close to you gives me a better chance."

At least, he was honest. "I never know what to think of you. You flat out say you're using me, and still I find your way of thinking better than all the rest. It shouldn't work that way."

"You need to decide what works for you, Bella. We all live in our own world. Few control it, but you can be one of them. The alternative is acting as a puppet for others with half the ability you possess."

This was way too much information. It felt like we were talking about someone else rather than me. I didn't like it. That girl was not me, and I didn't want to be her.

"Is this where I'm supposed to sing about having the weight of the world on my shoulders?" I joked.

"Take this seriously."

Why should I? "It doesn't mean anything to me unless it becomes fact. Actually, that's not true. You just gave me my ticket out of vamp world. I can leave if I want."

I surprised him. "What?"

"I already told you I thought there was no chance Edward would ever let me go. It's why I let him boss me around so much. Everything you said tells me he can't force me to do anything."

I was free for the first time in months and damn did it feel good. "He needs me on his side. I'm no good to him or the family unless I'm an ally."

Jasper took a minute to catch up to me. He shook his head and smiled at me. "You're glowing."

"I'm very happy. All this time I was scared of Edward, but he should be scared of me. It's why the family didn't tell me anything. Knowledge is power."

"They aren't as bad as you make them out to be. They care a great deal for you, Edward included. I still refuse to call it love, but he does have strong feelings for you."

It didn't matter. He withheld the truth from me. "He should have told me this from the beginning. I would have understood."

"Or been scared away. Would you have believed his feelings were sincere if he told you why the family wanted you?"

I wasn't sure how I would have reacted. I certainly would have been more suspicious of everyone, paranoid even, which brought me to another question.

"Why are you telling me all this now?"

"I'm not sure. It's in my best interests if you stay with the family. I hope you will."

"I won't stay for Edward."

An unspoken sentence filled the room. I would stay for Jasper. There was nothing smart or right about it, but I couldn't help it. He was even part of the reason I stayed with Edward. Leaving the family meant leaving Jasper, and I couldn't do that.

This more than anything told me that staying human was no longer a real option. I needed to be with him. We didn't even have to be a couple. Friends. Acquaintances. Co-Panama parents. I didn't care. I needed him.

My feelings had to be pounding at him. I cared about him. He would know that now. It wasn't even embarrassing. I wanted him to know.

Jasper gave me a lopsided grin. "It's not real, Bella. It's me."

No. It was real and not at all him.

With Jasper here, the night was fire bright and the cloud-swept moon a feature in a broken sky. This was no dazzling effect that muted my mind. Jasper short-circuited my senses making them work in unexpected ways. I could see the sound of summer winds and taste the smell of a coming rain. Everything was backwards and so very right.

Where Edward made my life feel like a dream, Jasper shook me awake. The result was an awareness of my surroundings that I never had before. It started with my mind opening, which caused my senses to follow.

At one time, my ideal day was to lock myself away with Edward and shut out everyone and everything. Now, I wanted to go places and see them with clear eyes and an open heart. Edward could show me how to dream, but Jasper could show me how to live.

I crawled onto his lap and smiled at him.

He was instantly suspicious. "What?"

I may have been happy before, but I was downright giddy now. "You look nervous. Vampires don't vomit, do they?"

"I might. Your emotions are cycling rapidly. It's hurting my head."

I lifted up slightly and kissed him on the forehead. "You poor soul. What can I do to help you?"

"Stop squirming around, and go to bed."

"With you?"

He stumbled over his next words. "Without me. I'm not sleeping with you ever. Like never fucking ever."

"But you do want to kiss me."

"Stop playing the tease. It isn't funny."

No more teasing. This was as serious as I got. "Jasper, I won't stay for Edward, but I will stay for you."

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Bella got smarter. Jasper provided some answers. The family is aware of his contact with Alice. Bella knows what they want from her. Phew. I'm starting to think I gave out too much info. Ah hell, I'm too tired to change it.

A few people were asking me about a Twitter account. Check my profile for the link. My account is protected, but I'll add anyone I don't think is my crazy stalker from 1996. Hi Greg. I can't promise a lot of chatty stuff, but I will be around from time to time.

Thanks for playing along again this week. I hope you all received your review replies, and I guess I will see you back next Wednesday or Thursday.

- Cris