Happy Birthday to me! Yay! As my present to all of my faithful readers, here are some omakes, in script or short story form. Enjoy! As an added bonus, at the very end is a short excerpt from the next chapter.
Disclaimer: Me no own KHR.
The Dragon and the Clam Omake II
Characters: Gokudera, Security Guard, Airport Manager.
Setting: Security room at AeroItalia, Namimori. After Gokudera went through the metal detector.
"He's all clean, sir," The security guard reported, having finished his up close search of Gokudera's body. The airport manager, a heavyset Italian man, nodded.
"Good. The police will be here soon to take him into custody," The manager said, glad that all of this had been finished without incident. Gokudera, who was tied up to a chair in his boxers, scoffed.
"Oh, you really don't want to do that," He warned, dead serious. The security guard turned on him.
"What was that, terrorist?" He spat, bringing his face two inches from Gokudera's. He wrinkled his nose.
"Phoo, what did you have for breakfast? A skunk's ass?" Gokudera quipped. The guard growled at him.
"What do you mean, we shouldn't?" The manager asked. Gokudera smiled. This was going to be so much fun. He gestured his head towards his bin of possessions from the security checkpoint.
"Look through that bin. There should be some rings in there. Have a look at them," He told the manager. The manager complied, and sifted through the bin, looking for the rings. He checked the first one. Put it back. Checked the second ring. Put it back. But then he found the third ring.
And froze in sheer terror. He broke into a cold sweat, his hands began shaking uncontrollably, and his heart raced. In his hands was the Vongola Tempesta Ring. And, as an Italian, he knew one thing: Never mess with the Vongola, or your bones will be found among them*.
"I take it you know what that is," Gokudera said. The security guard, who was Japanese, looked at the ring, no idea about what it meant.
"Sir, what's…" He started, but the manager didn't give him a chance to finish. In a heartbeat, he was on his hands and knees in front of the silver haired Mafioso.
"What the hell are you waiting for?! Get on your knees!" The manager hissed. The guard, confused, did. Gokudera had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.
"Yeah. That's right," He chuckled, "Now, untie me." He was let out of his bonds so fast, Houdini's head would have spun.
Characters: Iemitsu, Cesare, Nana
Setting: The Vongola Complex, soon after arrival
Cesare: Yo, boss, question for ya.
Iemitsu: Shoot.
C: Okay. *pulls out gun*
I: Wait, no, no, no! I mean ask your question!
C: Oh. *puts gun away* Anyway, how are you going to keep the mafia a secret from Nana now?
I: Well, thankfully she doesn't know Italian.
C: True.
I: It's also good that the people around here don't exactly carry around their weapons in plain sight.
C: Hey, the coffee shops have a strict no weapons policy. How are we supposed to defend ourselves?
I: Not now. And also, it helps that… Well…
C: What?
I: I don't know how to say this… You see, Nana is…
Nana: Uwaaah! This is the executive traffic director's home? I'd love to see the CEO's!
I: …Nana isn't particularly sharp.
C: Ah. Forget I asked.
Characters: Iemitsu, Cesare, Shamal, Otavio
Setting: Rome Airport, just after Cesare's and Shamal's fight.
Iemitsu: Refresh my memory; why do they hate each other again?
Otavio: No clue.
Cesare: It is a story of friendship…
Shamal: Rivalry…
C: Love…
S: Hatred…
C: War…
S: Peace…
C: Three bottles of Tequila…
S: And a Russian drag-queen.
C: Wait, Natalya was a man?!
S: You couldn't tell?
O: I don't think they remember.
I: Idiots.
Characters: Nana, Otavio
Setting: No clue.
Otavio: Nana Sawada?
Nana: That's me. You're Lambo-chan's aunt, Otavio, aren't you?
O: Yes. Unfortunately.
N: Well, he can be a bit of a handful at times…
O: I was asked to deliver this to you. *Hands a scroll to Nana*
N: Ara? What's this?
O: *Clears throat* For your personal sacrifice of taking care of the vitello, he who has been called the bane of a thousand babysitters, and for your bravery in the face of the mortal body of annoyance, the Bovino Famiglia hereby recognizes you as an honorary member of the Famiglia, and shall refer to you in cases of taking care of the little brat. On behalf of the Famiglia, I thank you. *In Italian*
N: …Pardon?
O: Oh, forget it.
Characters: Nana, Otavio, Lambo
Setting: The Vongola Mansion, Library
'They were the best of times, they were the worst of times…' The book read.
"Not again!" Nana groaned, tossing the book into the large pile of books she couldn't make heads or tails out of. Would it kill them to have something in plain Japanese?
In truth, Nana was something she had not been for nearly fifteen years. And it wasn't pregnant (she didn't even know yet). She was bored out of her skull.
Tsuna was at the Accademia, Lambo was being cared for by his aunt, all the cooking and cleaning was being taken care of by the staff, and Iemitsu was at work. Nana had absolutely nothing to do. She couldn't read a single word of the enormous library in the mansion, the last time she'd tried to dust something, a servant had literally popped out of the woodwork to take care of it, and she was not allowed to enter the kitchen by the staff, who were intent on making her life easy. Little did she know, her boredom was about to be broken, albeit temporarily.
"Gyuhaihaihai! Don Lambo appears!" A tiny voice called out. Nana looked up. Sure enough, Lambo was running straight at her.
"Lambo-chan!" She called exuberantly. She held out her arms for him to run into.
"Maman!" He responded, making a running leap at her. He was grabbed out of the air by his aunt, who had appeared as suddenly as he had.
"Found you, vitello," She said, victoriously.
"Gyaah! Put Don Lambo down and he'll forgive you!" Lambo cried, trying to struggle against her grip.
"No. You know full well you've gotta be in school now. Don't try to run away again," She warned him , and turned to Nana, "Sorry about this. He won't bother you again, I promise," She said, then walked off, with Lambo screaming that he didn't want to go to school.
"…Goddamnit."
Characters: Haru, Reborn, Cesare, Otavio
Setting: Haru Haru Interview stage (Come on now, you didn't think I'd make an omake chapter without one of these, didja?)
Haru: Welcome to another dangerous installment of Haru Haru Interviews: Dangerous ~desu!
Reborn: Just get on with it, already.
H: Haru-san is, Reborn-chan!
R: Coulda fooled me.
H: ANYWAY. Today's guest is… Cesare Gokudera-san!
Cesare: *Appearing on stage* 'Sup.
H: Thanks for being able to come today, Cesare-san!
C: No problem. It's for my nipote's cute girlfriend, after all.
H: *Blushing* Anyway, let's just get on with the questions *pulls out index cards*. First: What is your name?
C: Cesare Augustus Gokudera.
H: *flips card* What is your quest?
C: I seek the Holy –
R: Stop.
H: Haru-san couldn't help it.
C: Ditto.
H: Continuing on. *flips card* What exactly is your work, Cesare-san?
C: I'm in CEDEF, both as its Tempesta Guardian and second-in-command.
H: What do you have to do for that?
C: Lots and lots of paperwork.
H: Oh. That's boring.
C: Yeah, well, sometimes I have to ki-
R: Shush.
H: Next question: *flips card* Is it true that you are currently in a relationship with Otavio Bovino-san?
C: Damn straight. Tenth anniversary's coming up soon.
H: *flips card* And when do you plan on working up the balls to finally frickin' propose, preferably with a diamond the size of my head?
C: Beg pardon?
H: *Confused* I have no idea where that question came from.
Otavio: *Off-stage* WELL? YOU GONNA ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION?!
C: I WILL PROPOSE WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY!
O: YOU'RE NEVER READY!
H: H-hahi! S-stop yelling!
C+O: SHUT UP!
H: Okay…
R: I think this pretty much wraps it up.
H: Y-yeah. Well, thanks for reading this interview. Until next time, see you again, ~desu!
Characters: Lambo, Gyuudon (Lambo's box weapon)
Setting: Fulmine Manor, not long after receiving the boxes
Lambo stared the bison in the eye. It stared back at him.
"Bow to Don Lambo!" Lambo ordered. The bison replied by licking him sloppily.
"BOW, not lick, you stupid-stupid cow!" Lambo shrieked, trying his best to shake the saliva off his face. The bison lowed at him.
"BOW, DAMNIT!" Lambo ordered again. At this moment, the bison decided that its legs were tired, and sat down with a thud. The energy crackling from its hide left small marks on the lawn. This pleased Lambo.
"Good! You are now Don Lambo's number one subordinate, uh, Gyuudon!" Lambo decided. Gyuudon lowed in response. In the meanwhile, Lambo was thinking. For once. He had a plan that could use the cow/bison…
Later…
Lambo and Gyuudon stood in front of the closet that Otavio had stashed the Ten-Year Bazooka in. Lambo was grinning like a madman. He hopped onto Gyuudon's head, using the added height to open the door.
"Alright, Gyuudon! Stand!" Lambo commanded. Gyuudon placed his front hooves on the lowest shelf of the closet, working his way up until Lambo was within jumping distance of the top shelf. With one hop, Lambo landed on the shelf, and held his arms up as if he was a gymnast who'd just made a successful dismount.
"Gyuhaihaihai! Don Lambo is a genius!" Lambo crowed, prepared to take back what was rightfully his.
The Bazooka wasn't there. It its place was a small note, with three words on it in Otavio's handwriting.
'Nice try, vitello.'
"GODDAMNIT!"
Chapter 10 excerpt
"Reborn, I have trusted you in the past. I believed you when you said that the Vongola killed Mussolini. When you said that Haru and Gokudera were hiding something. When you said that watermelon juice would take care of bloodstains."
"You didn't listen when I told you that blood would bring out watermelon juice stains."
"Not the point. But here? Here, Reborn, is where I draw the line," Tsuna said. The basset hound that Reborn was saddling woofed at him.
"This is Fido, Tsuna. He's the way to find your Madonna that I told you about," Reborn said, giving the dog's saddle the final adjustment. For this job, Reborn was in a cowboy get up, complete with the hat and spurs.
"This is madness."
"Correction; this is Sp…"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence. Don't you dare," Tsuna warned him. Reborn grinned.
"So how is Fido supposed to be able to find the Madonna?" Tsuna asked. Reborn took off his ten-gallon hat and pulled a ring box out of it. When he opened it, Tsuna saw that the Madonna ring was inside. Reborn held the open box out to the dog, who started sniffing it, then put his nose to the ground.
"Fido is a master tracker; his sense of smell is so strong that he can even smell a person's fiamma wavelength, even when they don't have their flame ignited. Now, give him a sniff of your flame," Reborn told Tsuna. He held out his fist, and ignited his ring, holding the small flame out to the dog. Fido sniffed it, put his nose back to the ground, and then shot up, howling. He'd found the scent. Reborn quickly mounted the saddle.
"You're sure this is gonna work?"
"Have I ever lied to you?"
"Yes."
"Shut up. Giddyup!" Reborn called, spurring the dog's sides. Fido reared up, howling majestically, and shot off like a cannon across the courtyard. Tsuna quickly tried to keep up.
Fido stopped quickly, putting his nose to the ground again, and then turned his head to where the scent was likely coming from. He shot off again, as Reborn held onto the reins. Tsuna continued his chase, panting already.
"Geez… Where is he…?" Tsuna froze. Fido was streaking straight towards the Serena Manor. Even Tsuna could put two and two together.
"Oh no."
Fido was continuing to run at full speed towards the manor, when he was abruptly stopped. In front of the dog and Reborn stood Tsuna, his hands and forehead burning.
"Move, Tsuna."
"No," Tsuna responded.
"Tsuna, get out of the way, now."
"Reborn, I forbid you to go any further than this," Tsuna ordered, his willpower evident in his voice. Reborn tipped his hat over his eyes.
"Fine. Mark my words, however; you'll be singing a different tune soon enough," Reborn warned him, pulling on the reins to turn Fido around. They jogged off into the sunset. Tsuna turned his head back to look at the Serena Manor.
"Please let me be wrong…" He prayed. He didn't want her involved in this any more than she already was.
A/N: Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to MEEE! Happy birthday to ME!
*So sorry. That's a horrible, horrible, horrible Italian pun. Vongola means clam in Italian, so it basically means that if you mess with the Vongola, your bones will be found among the clams on the ocean floor. I am shamed!
And of course, I DID forget something last chapter. Go figure. I forgot to say that the Guardian's box weapons are NOT their Cambio Forma counterparts, just the regular animals. The technology for the Cambio Forma doesn't exist yet.
YAY!
REVIEW AS A PRESENT TO ME!