Olivia knew that she had a long day ahead. She knew she had a lot of explaining to do. She would face this head on, she was never one to cower or run from a situation. She made her bed and now she had to lie in it. She needed to put Fitz out of her mind for the time being. Cyrus had called her this morning and told her to meet him at 3pm. They weren't meeting in the park so she knew he wanted to be able to vent his spleen on her in private. His phone call left no room for argument. Normally she would have given as good as she got, but she knew that she deserved a little of his wrath for not keeping her word. She knew how she would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.

Currently, she was on her way to sit with Verna. She left the office headed to the hospital. As Olivia entered the room where Verna received her chemo she noticed the older woman was not flipping through a magazine as she usually did. Olivia knew she owed Verna an explanation. She sat in the seat not meeting Verna's gaze for a moment. When she looked up she noticed that Verna's eyes were on her. Again she had that feeling of being reprimanded by her mother. Everything kind of rushed out.

"I know that I messed up by telling him, but I just couldn't keep holding onto these secrets. They were choking the life out of me every time I spoke to him, every time we were together. I had to tell him. I just…"

Verna put her hands up.

"Whoa, whoa, kid, take it easy. I'm not going to bludgeon you to death for being honest with the man you love."

Verna looked at Olivia for a second before continuing.

"I can't imagine the price you paid for telling the truth. Just because we're honest, doesn't mean things work out the way we want them to. I don't want to beat you up anymore than you've probably already done to yourself and I'm sure Mr. Wonderful isn't making it easy on you. I also know the tongue lashing that Cyrus is waiting to give you. I figured you didn't need all of that from me too."

Olivia made to say something, happy tears forming in her eyes over Verna's response.

"Now before you go getting all mushy on me. Know that I was a little upset with you. I don't like to be ambushed, a heads up would have been nice. I know there would have been no talking you out of telling him, but you could have told me."

Olivia finally speaks then, a smile on her face as she blinks back the tears.

"I wasn't sure I was going to tell him until I did, to be honest…Oh Verna, thank you for understanding."

Olivia knows not to say too much and get sentimental. She knows Verna doesn't like to get too sappy, which is one of the reasons that they always dealt so well together. Verna reaches her hand out and Olivia grabs it and squeezes it. Verna squeezes back then pats Olivia's hand with her free hand.

"I hope the two of you can patch things up. You deserve some happiness. I know it's not easy to always keep secrets from the ones that you love. Take it from this old broad."

She pats Olivia's hand one more time and then lets go. Olivia is a little saddened. She knows that Verna is speaking from experience. Verna has been divorced for some time and the marriage never resulted in children. Verna is alone, but Olivia will make sure she knows that she does not have to face her mortality alone. They relax into a comfortable silence and resume what they usually do during these sessions together.

Across town in the Oval, Fitz and Cyrus are having their own showdown.

"Mr. President, it is my job to keep you out of things, situations that could make you look bad, cause a scandal or lose favor with the American people. I needed you to have deniable plausibility in the event this ever came to light. If the press or God forbid the Democratic Party even had an inkling that you knew, they would have a field day. They wouldn't hesitate to put your head on a spike and parade you around for all to see before they mounted it outside the White House gates. I couldn't allow that to happen. You will just have to be mad at me."

Cyrus stands in front of Fitz's desk looking at him as he speaks.

"Whatever needs to be done for this administration I will do. I take my job very seriously."

"Cy, do you hear yourself? Most people would say the only way something like this stays hidden is if people die…"

Fitz looks at Cyrus closely. He knows what Cyrus is capable of and is aware of the fact that Cyrus may still have been involved in Amanda Tanner's death. Just how far would Cyrus go to protect him? The thought makes Fitz uneasy. Cyrus holds up his hands in mock indignation.

"Sir, I'm offended. If someone has met an untimely end it hasn't been at my hand. I can't say the same thing for Hollis Doyle."

Fitz looks at Cyrus speechless for a moment. He's not quite sure what to say. Olivia had warned him about Cyrus and he had never really listened before, but something told him he did not want to find himself on the other side of Cyrus's fury. He would have to watch him.

"Just remember whose administration this is and who you work for, Cy. I won't be kept in the dark any longer, so if you want to keep your job you seem to be so fond of…remember that."

Cyrus and Fitz hold each other's gaze for a moment as Cyrus gauges the seriousness of Fitz's words. He realizes that Fitz does in fact mean business. He's always liked Fitz and as much as he respects him, he knows he doesn't have the stomach for the things that Cyrus is willing to get himself involved in for the good of this administration, but that's okay, that's what he was here for.

"Yes, Mr. President."

Afternoon was finally upon her. Olivia had been happy things had gone so well with Verna, but she had no delusions about her meeting with Cyrus. This could get ugly. Olivia arrived at their meeting location. As soon as she opened the door she was greeted by Cyrus' bulldog expression. They said nothing for minutes, both just staring at each other.

Cyrus had been her teacher, mentor, colleague, cohort and friend. She was unsure if that last one was still true. She knew he was angry with her, and rightly so. He had every right to be. He finally spoke,

"Do you know what you've done? We don't know what Hollis is liable to do. Fitz's involvement now makes things very complicated."

Liv stood there taking Cyrus' verbal assault like a child being scolded by a parent.

"What were you thinking Liv? I taught you better than that. You never used to be one to let emotion or feelings get in the way. You've allowed your judgment to be clouded…because you call yourself being in love with him."

His last words made her look up. Was she that transparent? Well, what other reason would cause her to commit career suicide?

"You've put everyone in jeopardy. You thought things were bad before, having Fitz be involved could be detrimental. Hollis is a loose cannon and now you've put yourself dead center in his crosshairs. He's going to be gunning for you and he doesn't play nice."

She realized then that not all of his vitriolic anger was because of her spilling the beans to Fitz. Cyrus was worried about her. He was worried about Hollis retaliating and coming after her. He definitely had the resources. He could make her disappear without anyone being the wiser, if she had been anyone else on the planet. She wasn't necessarily worried for her safety, but he did have the ability to make her business suffer if he wanted to. She softened toward Cyrus a little.

"You're worried about me."

"What?! No, I am angry that you told Fitz when we agreed to keep things to ourselves…"

Cyrus paused looking at Liv, who was so like a daughter to him, albeit a very rebellious, stubborn daughter.

"…And yes, because you may have put yourself in harm's way. Liv you don't know what Hollis is capable of. I don't want you on the wrong side of him. Hollis is not someone you want to cross. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happen to you."

Olivia smiled at her mentor.

"Cy, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. Hollis would not be able to harm me without incurring the wrath of a lot of people. I'm very touched to know that you still care."

She smirked at him, which made him angry.

"Liv, I mean it. This isn't fun and games. This is serious."

Cyrus and Liv continued to argue back and forth that he didn't need to worry about her.

Fitz had saved his showdown with Mellie until later in the afternoon. He knew she was capable of some reprehensible things, but this had taken the cake. He knew that their marriage lacked the warmth and intimacy that should define a marriage, but that didn't excuse Mellie keeping something like this from him. He was waiting for Mellie to join him in the Oval. He had summoned her. Something he had never done before. He usually had no need or desire to be in his wife's presence, but right now he needed her to explain herself, explain her actions. Usually he wouldn't have cared why Mellie did the things that she did, but this time it mattered. He was standing by the window looking out when he heard her knock.

"Come in," Fitz said turning around as Mellie stepped into the room.

Mellie tried to look demure as she entered the room, but Fitz knew it was an act. She was hoping he would back down, make things easy for her, because of her condition, but he had no intention of being gentle.

"Let's cut the crap. Both you and I know that the last thing you are is afraid of me or what I might be about to say."

Mellie's demeanor and facial expression changed instantly.

"Fine Fitz. We can do this your way."

They both stared at each other, assessing one another.

"Why didn't you come to me the minute Hollis threatened you? Was it to save your precious father's reputation? Or better yet were you concerned about yourself?"

"How dare you!"

Mellie advances on him.

"I refuse to believe that you were really that concerned with my well-being or what this would mean to me. You would have done anything to be First Lady."

Mellie reaches him and attempts to smack him, but Fitz catches her wrist.

"I know you've always been self-centered, but did you understand what this would do…"

"You bastard!"

Mellie tried to wrench her wrist free from Fitz's grip.

"You self-righteous son of a bitch! Someone had to do something to ensure…"

"Oh and so you took it upon yourself once again to single handedly save the day…"

They began to argue over each other. Suddenly, Mellie felt a piercing pain rip through her abdomen. She gasped loudly, clutching her belly. She looked into Fitz's eyes for a second pleading before she was able to choke out some words as the pain gripped her again.

"Help me, Fitz."

Mellie let out a scream as Fitz caught her as she crumpled in his arms. Fitz felt fear and panic as he could hear Mellie whimpering.

"HELP!"

Fitz yelled, as Tom, Hal and his secretary burst into the Oval.

"Tom, Hal, call an ambulance."

Fitz had Mellie laying on the ground. He was cradling her head. He could see blood on her thighs. A wave of guilt assailed him as he began issuing orders trying not to show how scared he felt in that moment. Mellie was gripping his arm so tightly and crying, he could feel her fear coming off of her in waves. He was trying to sooth her and calm her down. The medical team that was on standby at the White House came rushing in with a gurney and Fitz reluctantly moved out of the way, more so, because he was unsure if he offered anything that could help her at this moment. Once they got her strapped to the gurney he grabbed her hand as they rushed her out of the room.

"I'm right here."

He could see Mellie's eyes despite her smeared mascara and the oxygen mask covering her face. He felt her hand go limp in his as she lost consciousness. They pushed him out of the way as they loaded her on the elevator and he thought he heard someone mention that he would have to meet them downstairs as the elevator doors closed, leaving him standing in a daze.

In the middle of their argument, Cyrus' phone began to ring. Cyrus' instantly grew quiet as he knew that ring to be his White House emergency ring. He answered it instantly. Olivia tensed as she saw Cyrus' face grow ashen. She stayed silent, hoping to catch any stray bits of conversation from the other end, but all she heard were Cyrus's quick affirmations that he was on his way back to the White House.

"Cyrus, what's wrong?"

Olivia could feel panic rising in her. Cyrus looked at her blankly for a moment.

"I don't know. I have to get back to the White House."

Olivia grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving.

"Cy, please tell me. Is it Fitz?"

He looked at her, softening a little as he saw how scared she looked.

"Liv, I really don't know. When I can, I'll call you and let you know, but I have to go."

She released his arm and nodded her head. Cyrus ran out the door, headed for the White House.

Not knowing what had taken place at the White House was driving her crazy. She'd been home for some time now. She had not been able to go back to the office. None of the media outlets had yet to say what the emergency at the White House had been. Olivia was on pins and needles. Cyrus had not called like he said he would. Was Cyrus just too afraid to call her because something had happened and he just did not want to deliver the bad news? Was Fitz okay? Being put in this situation of not knowing whether he was okay or not had made her really examine her feelings for him. It had made her contemplative and reflective. She thought about all the times she had held back and not told him how she felt. All the time she had wasted trying to stay away from him or push him away from her. All the self-preservation, what had it gotten her? What if something had happened to him and she never got to make things right? They never got to reconcile?

For as long as she could remember after things started between her and Fitz she had felt guilty. Guilty for being the other woman, guilty for coming in between Fitz and Mellie, although she knew that their marriage was already dead. She knew that didn't make it right. She knows that she allowed her guilt to keep her from telling him something she'd known long ago. She hadn't meant for it to come out that night, but she had figured if he was going to leave, she didn't want him to walk out that door without knowing. She knew her timing was bad, but her heart had won out over reason in that instance. In their relationship, Olivia hadn't felt she had a right to be happy because she had trampled on someone else's happiness. She didn't particularly care for Mellie, but she knew how she would have felt to have this other woman stealing the affections of her husband. She had never intended to become the other woman. It just sort of happened, but by then it was too late. She couldn't call it off, even despite the guilt that she felt. Which is also why she never allowed herself to fully give her all.

She knew that had not been fair to Fitz, to only get a little of her love and devotion while he gave all of himself without question or thought to the consequence their relationship would bring. He had thrown caution to the wind. He had never looked back, but just kept moving full steam ahead. That was one thing she had always loved about him. He was a man who knew what he wanted and came after it with everything he had. He'd laid claim to her despite her wavering or her continued indifference at times. He had deserved more from her and her own selfish pride and pig-headedness had kept her from giving him what he deserved, those three little words: 'I love you.'

But it was more than that. She had never truly fought for them, the way that he had. Never been ready to throw in all the cards and declare that no matter what she was in for the long haul. She knew somehow she didn't deserve him, but if she got the chance, she would show that she did.

Her phone began to ring at that moment and Olivia answered it as quickly as she could; hoping Cyrus wouldn't deliver bad news.

"Cyrus, please put me out of my misery. What is going on?"

Olivia waited with baited breath.

"Liv? It's me."

The minute she heard Fitz's tired, weary voice she began to cry tears of joy. She wiped at her face.

"Oh my God Fitz. I was so worried. Cyrus left so abruptly. All he said was that there was an emergency at the White House. I'm so glad you're okay."

Olivia had felt like she had been holding her breath all day. It was so good to hear his voice, to know he was unharmed.

"I'm fine Liv…it was Mellie…"

"Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

There was a pause.

"She's fine. They're both fine…The doctor said that she needs to be on bed rest until the baby is born."

Olivia could sense that something was wrong. She realized that Fitz had been crying. She heard his voice hitch as he spoke.

"We had been arguing when it happened. She fell into my arms…Liv…"

His voice broke.

"Liv, as it was all happening part of me had wished that Mellie was going to lose the baby. This 'America's Baby' farce would all be over."

She could hear him struggling to find the words.

"I've been resenting this baby and today, for a second, I had the thought that it could all just go away, but Liv, that child is innocent. That baby is paying for my sins and for a moment I wished him dead."

Fitz was crying openly now. Her heart went out to him. She could hear the anguish in his voice. She wished she could hold him, comfort him. She thought it was only normal, given the circumstances that he would have a thought like that. It made him human. She knew how hard he tried to be what everyone wanted him to be, including her.

"Fitz, listen to me…you having those thoughts does not make you a bad man. You're a good man."

Her mind franticly searched for the right thing to say to him, something that would make it all okay.

"Fitz, you are one of the most selfless men I know. Please don't beat yourself up over this. The important thing is that Mellie and the baby are okay."

Fitz sighed. His voice was ragged as he spoke.

"Liv, I don't know how much longer I can do this. Every time I think I'm finally catching a break, something else comes along to assure me that I'm not meant to enjoy this life…You're…"

He catches himself, before he can say, 'You're the one good thing in my life.'

Olivia wonders what he was about to say, but decides not to pressure him. She knows she has a lot to do with these hopeless feeling he has. Fitz realizes he may have said too much in his moment of weakness.

"Liv, I should go. I had just wanted you to know that I was okay. I knew you would have seen the news and I didn't want you to worry."

Olivia realized his voice had taken on a more clipped tone as he addressed her. They were back to him keeping her at arms length. She swallowed. She understood all to well, what he was doing: self-preservation. She had to accept it for now. Hopefully, soon, the old Fitz would return to her, claim her once again. Hopefully she hadn't killed that Fitz completely.

"Thank you for letting me know," Olivia said wistfully.

She heard the click as he hung up the phone. Liv hung up the phone and reclined on her sofa, happy that he was okay.

Fitz hung up the phone and leaned back in his chair. He was in rolled up shirt- sleeves, his tie abandoned long ago. There were still smears of blood on his shirt. He had not changed his clothes. The Oval was shrouded in darkness. Even despite the words of comfort that Liv had offered he couldn't help but feel like an asshole for the thoughts he had earlier today when everything had happened. He knows that is not what he truly wanted. He was so remorseful. His eyes were heavy. He knew his body wanted to sleep, but his brain just wouldn't let him. It had felt good to talk to Liv, to hear her voice. What was he going to do about them? He couldn't stay mad at her forever. Truth be told, he wasn't sure he was still upset with her. Life was too short to stay angry, if today had taught him anything.

He still remembered the look in Mellie's eyes as she pleaded for his help. He looked back over the last fifteen years of their marriage. He didn't hate her. They had just grown apart. No, it wasn't that they had grown apart, they'd never been close. Their marriage had been one of respect and creating an alliance that would help him in politics. Mellie had been all too willing to go along for the ride and he had not objected either. He had willingly given up the thought of having a true love at the time, not believing that such a thing existed. He had chased the political aspirations that others had for him. Fitz had been a people pleaser his whole life. Then Liv walked into his life and everything had changed. No longer was he sleepwalking through life. He knows that Olivia helped make him a man.

He knew he had been abrupt with her tonight, but he just wasn't ready to let her back in. Not yet. He had confided in her, his deepest thoughts, his darkest thoughts. He still needed her and he knew he always would. She was the love of his life. He slowly pushed himself from his seat. He paused once he reached the door, to say those words he hadn't uttered in weeks. He realized he needed them right now. Tom and Hal trailed him to the residence as he went left to go check on Mellie.

So one of you left a review in the last chapter where you asked me a question:

So tell me dear Moni (and all other #olitz shippers that can identify), how long has it been since you've let that sob rip from your body?...or have you gotten to the point where it's no longer there waitin for you to gulp it back?...I'd really love to know...

Some of you know that I am divorced. It wasn't something that I wanted or something that came about because of infidelity or some other sad event. He just simply didn't love me anymore. That was a hard thing to face, so yes, there was a time when that 'sob ripped itself from my body' quite often, more than I care to admit. I'm in a different place in my life now, but my life experiences have helped to shape my writing. I don't have any problem discussing my life or using the emotions and experiences to make my writing more authentic. I'm happy that you guys have been enjoying my writing. I hope this answers the question dear reader (JoYfuLgirl326). If not, let me know.

In the next chapter I will address some characters we haven't heard from in a while.