A/N: I won't be posting for the next week or two because my life is about to get hectic but I promise I'll be back faster than you can say 'I am Crowen shipper until the day I die."
/
"We need to celebrate!" Meredith said as she sat down at the table.
Cristina looked up from her salad. "Celebrate? What are we celebrating?" She stuffed a tomato into her mouth.
"I don't know...Life." Meredith gestured all around her.
She saw Cristina's questioning look. "There's going to be alcohol."
"I'm in." Cristina said immediately.
Meredith smiled. "Joe's after work it is then."
Alex sat down. "We're going to Joe's?"
"No. We're going to Joe's." Cristina gestured between her and Meredith.
"He can come too."
Alex wiggled his eyebrows at Cristina and she stole one of his fries as payback.
"Do the two of you ever eat your own food?" He said annoyed.
"Sometimes." Meredith reached over and stole another fry.
He slapped her hand but it didn't deter her away from grabbing another handful.
Meredith looked around. The cafeteria was empty today. "Where's April and Jackson?" She wondered.
"Probably off doing it somewhere." Alex said and then took a bigger bite than necessary of his burger.
Cristina watched him and pulled a face. "They're still going at it? I thought that would be over by now." She smiled. "I never knew little Kepner had a bad side."
"Our little girl has grown up." Meredith smiled.
Cristina saw Owen walk in through the cafeteria doors and over to the buffet.
She wondered if he thought she ditched him during the night.
Undressed him and then left.
She watched him pick up a tray and set it down again. He then picked up a wrapped muffin at the next station , inspected it and then left it.
It worried her because the only time he didn't eat was when he was stressed or his nightmares were back. She hoped it was just stress.
"Cristina!" She heard Meredith call and she snapped back to the conversation infront of her. "Where were you?" Meredith wondered.
"I was here. I'm here."
Meredith decided not to pry any further. "So , while you were gone , Alex and I were discussing who else we would like to invite to tonight's drinking party."
"Why can't it just be the three of us?" Alex asked.
"Because it's always the three of us."
"And i'm okay with that." Alex said simply.
Cristina looked around and found that Owen was no longer in the cafeteria.
"I hate to admit it , Mer , but i agree with Alex. We're good on our own."
Meredith finnished off the last of her hand-fries , starred down at her now oily her hands and then wiped them on her scrubpants.
"Okay , fine. Just the three of us then."
They all agreed and Cristina stood up. "I have to go. I need to draw up a plan for Mark. He just isn't improving and i need to find out why and find a way to fix it."
"Okay , but you're not allowed to cancel tonight." Meredith warned.
"I won't." She walked away and out of the cafeteria doors.
"Hey , where did you go this morning?" Owen was suddenly beside her.
"Oh , Mer had a breakdown and i needed to take care of her."
Owen knitted his brows. "How is she now?"
"She's okay. I think she needed to cry. Must've healed or something."
The spoke as they walked.
"What are you doing tonight?" Owen asked.
"Getting drunk with Meredith and Alex." "What else is new?" Owen laughed.
"Why did you ask?"
"Oh , nothing. It's stupid. Forget about it." He shrugged it off.
"Owen..."
"Did you hear we're getting a 3-D printer?" He changed the subject.
"I heard."
He turned to her."Want to be the first person to use it?"
"Seriously?" She smiled.
"Yeah. I'm the chief. I can make it happen."
"Being married to the chief of surgery has it's perks." She joked.
He laughed and then went quiet , realizing what she had said. Their marriage was kind of a sore topic since they both didn't know where they stood with one another.
She looked down at the floor for a second and then back up at him. "Sorry." She gave him a small smile.
"What are you sorry for?"
"Using the 'M' word."
"Don't be sorry. I'm still your 'H' word and you're still my 'W' word." She laughed. "Don't be sorry." He repeated.
She nodded.
They stood starring at one another for a long time but their trans was broken by a screaming Webber.
"Yang! Hunt! We've got a trauma coming in. Let's move!"
Owen looked at Cristina one last time and they both raced off to the E.R.
\
Cristina slammed her glass down on the table infront of her.
"I mean , who even needs love?" She randomly said but Meredith nodded like she had been speaking about this the entire night.
All three of them were fairly drunk alreadly and their feelings were beginning to surface.
"My fiance` left me at the altar." She continued. "And my husband cheated on me. Clearly , love isn't for me."
She held her hand up to the bartender , ordering another round.
"I know what you mean." Alex spoke up. "I thought i finally found the one , you know. Izzie was my one. She was the only good thing that happened to me in...forever."
Cristina and Meredith nodded.
He went on. "And what happened? She got cancer , died in my arms , recovered and then left me. She fucking left me." He laughed like he couldn't believe that was his life. He threw back the rest of his drink. "Your turn." He said to Meredith.
"Well , my husband basically disowned me for a month."
"That's because you do crazy shit without thinking about the consequences." Cristina stated.
"True. He still disowned me and blamed me for losing Zola."
"But you got her back." Alex said.
"Yes , we did. And now everything's great again." Meredith smiled.
"Except your sister died and your husband's bestfriend refuses to live." Cristina said and then threw back another drink. She turned to the bar again. "How long does it take to put liquor into a glass?" She yelled.
"Yeah , well , that's life." Meredith shrugged.
"Our emotions are fucked."
Meredith and Cristina nodded in agreement.
"But here's the thing ," Cristina rested her elbows on the table , leaning closer to her friends. Her eyes were heavy and she struggled to keep them open. "Mer , you keep pushing me to ask Owen to try again."
"I do." Meredith agreed.
"But what happens if we try again? Things are still going to be the same. Nothing has changed."
"Things have changed." Meredith stated.
"Things have changed for you." She pointed at Meredith. "My life has stayed the same. I still don't want kids. I still had an abortion and my husband still cheated on me. Owen and i still have all of our problems."
"Atleast Owen didn't blame you for losing his job."
"Owen didn't lose his job."
They were quiet.
The bartender brought their drinks to the table.
"What happened to Joe?" Meredith asked.
They all looked at one another. None of them knew the answer.
"Remember heart in an elevator?" Cristina asked.
Alex snarled. "Didn't we talk about this already?"
"Yeah but i just like reminding you about it. And you're already thinking about Izzie so what's the harm."
Each of them threw back a drink.
"Remember when the interns went rogue and performed surgeries on one another?" Meredith asked.
"Yeah and then you didn't defend me when the chief found out."
"Wow. You're really on a mission tonight , arn't you?"
Cristina shrugged.
"I miss them."
"Who?"
"Everyone." Meredith said simply.
"Yeah." Alex agreed.
"I don't."
"Cristina." Meredith scolded.
"Okay , i do but don't make me say it."
Meredith raised her glass. "To everyone. Everyone who left us , died on us and fucked us up."
Alex and Cristina raised their glasses aswell.
"Amen to that." Cristina said.
They downed their drinks and slammed it on the table.
"Atleast i have you guys." Alex mumbled.
Cristina and Meredith looked at him.
"Well , that was wimpy." Cristina mocked. "But true."
"Yep." Meredith gave him a drunken smile.
"We'll always have each other."
\
Cristina tripped over the porch and cursed.
She took out the key out of her bag and turned the lock.
After a lot of nagging and whinning , Derek repeatedly denied to give her the spare key. But when she swiped the key from his drawer in the least subtle manner , he gave up and offered to drive her.
The door opened and Cristina held a thumbs up to Derek and Meredith waiting in the car.
Meredith waved at her and Derek laughed at how drunk they both were.
Cristina stepped into the dark trailer and waited for her eyes to adjust.
She saw the outline of Owen's body on the bed and walked towards him , knocking into the couch on the way. She watched him from the foot of the bed.
He must've sensed her because he stirred and then woke up with a start.
"Cristina?"
She climbed onto the bed and then over him.
"What are you doing?"
She didn't answer. She pushed him back until he was laying on his back and she was laying on top of him , resting her head on his chest.
He gave in and relaxed. He hugged her to him , kissing the top of her head.
She closed her eyes and let Owen Hunt intoxicate her more than alcohol ever could.
He turned them over onto their sides and he hugged her even tighter.
She kissed his neck and then his cheek.
"I miss you." He whispered.
She kissed his shoulder.
"I need you back."
Her eyes opened and he felt her grip loosen. She sat up and looked around.
"Cristina?"
Her conversation with Meredith and Alex earlier came back to her.
Nothing's changed.
"I need to think." She said softly.
She stood up and left.
She walked towards the car and got into the back.
"What happened?" Meredith wondered.
"Can we just go?"
"Sure." Derek started the car , reversed and made his way back home.
Cristina rested her head back against the seat. She sighed.
She couldn't make up her mind. She didn't know what she wanted.
She needed to think. She had to really think. She needed to be alone so that she could make up her own mind and not be pressurised by Meredith or just make a decision for the sake of making Owen happy.
Most importantly , she needed to be alone to find herself again.
\
Cristina rubbed her temple.
She was sober enough to work but her head still continuously throbbed.
She was on her way to Webber's office.
He called her this morning asking to see her about something important and once she sobered up , she got dressed and made her way to the hospital.
She reached his office door and knocked.
Bailey opened up , looking nervous.
"Hey , Webber asked to see me."
"I know." Bailey said.
Cristina gave an uncertain laugh. "Well , are you going to let me in?"
She tried looking into the office for Webber but Bailey was standing infront of her , blocking her view.
"Bailey."
"Okay , but don't freak out."
She gave Bailey a questioning look.
Miranda stepped aside and opened the door further.
Cristina knitted her eyebrows and smiled. "What's going on with you?"
She looked over to Richard's desk and smiled at him. She noted his demeanor and saw him look over towards the couch.
She followed his eyes and what she found made her smile fade.
She looked at Bailey who was starring at the floor and then at Webber who wasn't looking at her either.
She then looked back at the person seated on the couch.
She tried to speak but the words wouldn't leave her mouth.
She inhaled. "Burke?"
/
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