Chapter 11
A/N: I don't own anything Glee related.
Thanks guys for all the reviews. I really do appreciate it. I hope you guys like this chapter. It'll give you another look into how torn Puck is. There's only a few more chapters left. Don't be surprised if a major cliff hanger comes up soon. I still don't know exactly where I'm going with this story. It started out so black and white but now things are in the grey area. I'm going back and forth between two possible endings. Just hang in there with me and I'm sure it will be good. Thanks again.
PuckPOV:
This past week with Rachel has been great. She brings lunch to me while I'm at work and at night we either go out or stay in at her place or mine. The physical stuff has been amazing. She still does smell sweet like sugar cookies. I missed the way she felt against me in bed. I feel almost nostalgic with her.
Soraya and she have been getting along for the most part. There have been one or two interesting conversations I walked in on. I know Ray can be a bit too much like me at times and Rachel still can come off a little abrasive like she use too be in high school. "I don't think she likes me Noah." Rachel says cuddling close to me on my large sofa. "Rach you just have to give her time. She's a lot like me. You know how long it took for me to like you." I say with a chuckle at the thought of how I use to toss slushies at her.
"Noah this isn't funny. I think she might think I'm trying to take Gloria's place. I don't want her to feel that way." She says her eyes full of worry. I can't help but tense at the mention of her. "If you want I'll talk to Soraya tomorrow before you pick her up." I say my mind wondering to what she is doing. This is the longest I've ever gone without speaking to Gloria in over two years. "I think that's a great idea Noah." Rachel says her voice snapping me back to reality.
"Come on we should get going if we want to make the movie on time." Rachel says getting up and grabbing her coat and purse. "Ahh…yeah right of course." I say and pat my pockets in my jeans and shirt. "What are you looking for?" Rachel asks looking at me curiously. "I…umm…I don't know. I just feel like I'm missing something. I don't know, it's nothing." I say and grab my car keys and coat.
We make it to the movies and it flies by. I couldn't even tell you what the movie was about. It was some boring chick flick Rachel wanted to see. We walk slowly hand in hand back to my truck. "Noah, are you ok?" Rachel asks. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" I ask not really sure what she thinks is wrong with me. "I don't know you just seem distracted lately." She says hoping gracefully into the passenger side. "It's nothing. It's just football season and Soraya is always up to something. The usual." I say half heartedly. Truthfully I have no idea what's up with me.
I decide to spend the night at Rachel's because Soraya is at Arty and Tina's. "You still smell sweet like sugar cookies." I say kissing along her slender throat. "Mmm…" She moans as I run my hands up her back under her shirt. I love the feel of her skin. "Noah stop trying to get out of talking to me." Rachel says pulling away from me much too soon for my liking. "Come on baby let's continue this upstairs." I murmur softly in her ear. She pulls away from me again and the look on her face says that I'll be spending the night in a cold shower.
"Fine Berry what do you want to talk about?" I ask my good mood fading fast. "I don't know how to say this. You're with me but not really with me. It's like…I don't know how to explain it." She says her coffee colored eyes pleading with me to understand. "That doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm here, right here with you." I say forcefully. She places her small hands on face making me look at her in the eyes.
"Noah, do you still want to be with Gloria?" Rachel asks taking me by surprise. I know she has every right to ask that question but I'm at a loss for words. "What are you talking about? I'm with you. This past week has been amazing. I know she'll be back in a week and I have to make a choice but I thought it was clear that I'm with you." I say trying to sound convincing. I want her. I've always wanted her.
"Then why do you have to wait another week to tell her?" She asks bluntly. "I...I…I…" I really don't have an answer for this. I don't know why either. "Right. I see." Rachel says and gets up sighing heavily. "Where are you going?" I ask following her toward the door. "I think you should go home Noah. I think maybe I should give you some time to think things over. Clearly you're still very conflicted about your feelings." She says in typical Berry form.
"Rachel." I plead with her but her face is set and determined. "Fine." I huff and grab my coat and keys. I pull her close and kiss her softly. "Tell Soraya I'll be picking her up tomorrow at noon." She says and I just nod my head. I slowly walk towards my truck feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I don't even remember the drive home. I sit in my driveway wondering how I ended up in this situation.
I take a deep calming breath and head in the house. After a very long cold shower I toss on a pair of basketball shorts. With Ray gone for the night the house seems so empty and cold. Usually on nights like these Glo would be in the kitchen dancing around to some latin music and cooking up a storm. I push thoughts of her a way. We're not the same anymore. At least I'm not.
I grab my cell and she still hasn't returned any of my texts. I know I'm with Rachel now but I just want to make sure she's ok. It's weird not talking to her when I've spent almost every night for the past two years with her in some way or another. I grab a bottle of water and my laptop. I head upstairs and lounge on my bed going through my e-mails. Her scent of oranges and rain still cling to the pillows. Especially the one she hugs when she sleeps. I'm oddly comforted by that.
I remember the first night she spent here. She had on one of my plain with tees and hugged the pillow tightly while burying her face in it. She was curled up on her side and she looked so adorable. Like a little kid and their teddy bear. I shake my head to clear my mind of those thoughts.
I delete some junk e- mail and click on one from facebook. It says that Nina De la Cruz has added photos to her account. That's Gloria's sister. I click on the link and immediately Glo's face pops up her cheek pressed against her sisters both beaming into the camera. The caption under the picture 'Ladies Night'. I chuckle a little to myself. Her sister stays in the clubs unlike Gloria who prefers to stay home. I flip through the rest all of them with her, her sister and various friends posing with drinks and smiling but Glo's doesn't reach her honey colored eyes. I feel a tinge of guilt knowing that it's because of me.
I look closely at the pictures and she looks stunning. Her backless bright yellow top plunges so low in the front you can almost see her belly button. The front of the shirt is only being held together by a small silver chain across her rather large breast. The rest of her curves are accentuated by her tight dark jeans and bright yellow stilettos. The yellow of her shirt makes her caramel skin glow. How did a lima loser like me end up torn between two beautiful women?
Gloria wasn't just any girlfriend she's my best friend. I hate the fact that I'm probably going to lose everything we share together. I just hope her and Soraya remain close. Knowing Glo she would never leave her life just because of me. Her and Ray are thick as thieves. Sometimes I wonder if she started dating me solely because of Soraya. The two clicked the moment they met which was usual because Ray never likes anyone that is remotely interested in me.
I finish flipping through the pictures and the last one has my blood boiling. WHAT THE FUCK!! I know deep down I have no right to be jealous but I can't help it. Glo's perched on the lap of none other than quarterback of the Buffalo Bills Capone Smith. Some of the other players are standing behind them with her sister seductively hanging off of one of the guys and Gloria is smiling sweetly while one of his hands rests on her thigh to high up for my liking. His other hand gripping her waist whiles his chin rest on her bare shoulder. The caption under the pic 'Lucky Gloria gets to be up close and personal with hottie QB'.
I slam shut my laptop and cringe hopping I didn't break it. I jump up and pace around the bedroom. Why the fuck am I jealous? I have Rachel. That's all I need. But a small part of me still feels the green eyed monster ready to take over. I grab my cell and dial the familiar number. It rings and rings then goes to voicemail. " Me siento perdido su llamada deje un mensaje y le pondremos en contacto con usted." He voice says informing me to leave a message. I hear the beep and say "Glo it's me just call me. I need to talk to you." I shut the phone and toss on a t-shirt.
I pull on my sneakers and grab my keys. I head over to the one place I know I can get some advice. Will's. I knock on his door and Emma answers a huge smile plastered on her face. "I figured you'd be dropping by sooner or later." She says and gives me a hug. They know me too well. I throw myself down on their couch as she goes to get Will.
A few minutes later Will walks in holding two coronas. He hands me one and takes a seat on the other sofa. "Let me guess women trouble?" He says with a knowing smile. "Yeah." I say resting my elbows on my knees. "I don't know anymore. I always wondered what if about Rachel and then she shows up and it's great. But then there's Gloria and she's amazing too. Her and Ray are so close and other than you she's my best friend. I just don't know." I say exasperated by this whole thing. I take a deep drink from my beer.
"It looks like a tough choice. I mean back in high school you and Rachel were perfect for each other. She seemed to balance you out. You changed for the better with her and Soraya. Then she left and I thought you would never be happy like that again. Then Gloria happens. She brought back apart of you I never thought I would see again." He says thoughtfully.
"Shit that really doesn't help me." I say wearily. "Look man, you have your past and your present right in front of you. Now you have to choose which will be your future. You have to ask yourself some hard questions. Like if Rachel never came back would you still be with Gloria? Or if you weren't with Gloria would you have gone to get Rachel back? In the end it boils down to when you close your eyes and picture your future, who do you see yourself sharing it with?" He finishes then takes a drink from his beer.
"That's the problem Will. I can easily see both of them in my future." I say feeling more confused than I was before. "Yeah but in what capacity? Friend, lover, wife?" He says sagely. "I don't know. I really don't fucking know." I say rubbing my head trying to ease the tension all this drama is causing. "Don't beat yourself up too much. Believe me you'll know when it's right. That one moment everything will click and suddenly you'll know that you can't live without her." He says and finishes his beer. I nod my head still deep in thought. I finish off my beer and then head home.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I'm not looking forward to any of this because no matter what choice I make someone will get hurt. Someone that I love and I feel like a complete jerk for it.
A/N: Please Review. Next up Rachel and Soraya spend the day together and Quinn makes an appearance. Also the cat's out the bag about Rachel's new part. How will Puck take the news? Will Gloria call Puck back? Who will he choose in the end?....I don't even know for sure.