Chapter 10: The Dreadful Thing I Should Have Avoided

Erik

I knew I should have stayed away. I reminded myself of this several times as I watched her through her window, scolding my stupidity. What if she sees you? But, it was too late to turn back now. I could not tear myself away once I saw her peaceful, sleeping form. Fortunately for me, her mother was out of town. While this certainly aided me, I was still irritated that she could so easily leave Christine at home by herself. The unsuspecting girl in front of me showed that it would not be difficult for someone to hurt her; she was an easy target. However, she smiled in her sleep. For the first time, she did not seem to afraid of every shadow, everything unknown. Christine was a timid girl, and her innocence seemed to be what drew me to her.

Yet, as I watched her sleep, something began to happen. She moaned and turned over, her expression anxious even though she slept. I winced. She is having a nightmare, I realized. I assumed she was dreaming of her father, for no other person had enough influence on her to cause her to be so distressed. She whimpered pathetically, and everything within me wanted to break into her room, take her in my arms, and sing to her until she was calm once more. Thankfully, she woke before I could make such a fool of myself. As she started to cry, I could no longer restrain myself and called to her. "Christine…"

She squeaked fearfully, and her large eyes frantically looked around her room, trying to see me. "Who… who is there?" she cried.

Apparently, she did not think her angel would speak to her outside of the theater. Of course, one must make allowances for her naiveté and disturbed state of mind. "Christine," I reprimanded gently, "do you not know your angel?"

Visibly relaxing upon recognizing me, she whispered, "I… was afraid. I had a horrible nightmare."

I smiled slightly. Though loathe to admit it, even I could not deny that her shyness was endearing. Still keeping my voice light and soothing, I asked, "Would you like to tell me about your nightmare?" She shook her head, her cheeks reddening adorably. "Please, will you stay with me until I can fall back asleep?" she requested softly.

Pleased, I immediately granted her request, for it was the first she had ever asked of me. "Of course I will stay with you, my sweet girl." As if I could force myself to leave now. "I will never leave you. Would you like it if I sang?"

With another nod, the darling girl covered herself with her covers again. . "Goodnight, Angel" she bid me, a small smile on her face.

I could not instantly reply. I was in too much shock. She believes…

Before she could become suspicious, I realized that she was waiting for a response. "Goodnight, Christine. Do not fear; I will never leave you." As I spoke, I took care to use my voice to lure her back to sleep.

I watched her for a long time. I wanted so badly to approach her, but I knew I could not take advantage of her unconscious state. While she would never know, I would know. At that moment, I was content to watch her sleep and not allow myself to be bothered by the fact that my power was slowly draining away.

o0o

As time passed, I spend more and more time either with Christine or thinking about Christine. Every night, I returned to visit her like a drug addict goes to lose himself in a dose of heroin. She was my drug, my addiction, but I did not mind in the least. Most nights, she would wake crying for her angel, and I was all too happy to comfort her. I was a wretch - I knew that - but I fervently hoped that by attending to this lonely girl, I could somehow redeem my lost soul. Her voice was like a beacon in the midst of my wanderings, a light that called me home.

Home. Never before had I used the word in a positive sense. Before I met Christine, home was nothing to me, for I had no home. But, as I grew more and more attached to the girl who believed I was an angel, I began to consider her my home.

I still cannot believe how blind I was, so foolishly blind. I openly confessed that she intrigued me and that I all but worshipped her voice, but I never saw the depths of my infatuation… not until a seemingly innocent decision forced me to see how desperate I was, how much I did not want to share her.

Christine told me one night that she had made plans for an evening with Meg instead of attending her lesson. Though she tried to look defiant, the uncertainty in her voice gave her away. She was right to be nervous, for I was far less than pleased.

"You said what?" I bellowed. I could not believe her audacity! How dare she go behind my back and decide to waste her time socializing when she should have been working on her voice! Music was more important… I was more important.

"Please, I'm really sorry," she said anxiously, her rebellious attitude gone, leaving behind the meek, obedient girl I knew. "But," she continued when I said nothing. "If I keep ignoring Meg, she's going to become suspicious and start asking me questions that I'm not going to be able to answer."

She has a point. Huffing angrily, I conceded. I did not want little Giry questioning Christine. While my pupil was a good child, I sincerely doubted her ability to keep secrets from her closest friend. "I suppose you may go this one time, but you must remember where your loyalties are, Christine," I warned. "You must stay loyal to me and to my music, or I will go back up into heaven and never return. Please do not force me to leave you on this earth alone." Of course, I would never leave her, but she did not know that, and the threat worked well to my advantage. With a shriek of despair, she cried, "No, please no!" Don't leave me! I'll be faithful to you, I promise! Just don't leave me!" I must confess that I liked seeing her cry and enjoyed seeing how much power I had over her. Not that I enjoyed her pain, per se; I merely felt a grim sort of pleasure in seeing that I actually meant something to her, that she wanted me to stay just as much as I never wanted her to leave. Finally, I said sternly, "I will not leave, so long as you keep your word." Seeing how distressed she truly was, I relented somewhat. "There, there, Christine," I added soothingly. "Dry your eyes. Go and have fun. I am sorry for upsetting you. I just… I am so afraid that one day, you will decide to not come back to me. Everything is alright, child." I said everything that came into my mind to comfort her as she sniffed.

"I really am sorry," she said, wiping her eyes. "I promise it won't happen again." Then, she left.

I sat in the darkness for a long time. I hated the power that girl held over me. I was strong, unstoppable. I had never yielded to anyone; I made decisions, and other people abided by them. No one had dared defied me without swift punishment… except for Christine. It infuriated me that a mere teenage girl should be my undoing. Still, I could not make myself hate her. I should have hated her as I hated myself for having a weakness, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not view her as anything but an angel.

That was when I finally admitted the dreaded truth to myself. I, Erik, arguably the most powerful man on the face of the earth, genius, composer, and magician, a heartless wretch and demon… had fallen in love with the most beautiful angel to grace humanity.

The admission did not make me feel better. I should have avoided this, I scowled. I swore to never be under any man's power. I disgustedly shook my head and laughed wryly. Indeed, it would be my fate that I would fall under the power of a woman. Love is a most dreaded thing indeed.