Chapter 11

"Wait," Adam said. Eloise looked at him, confused, and then surprised as he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the hotel room in Chicago. Adam carried her over to the bed and bending slightly, he dropped her and she sunk into the down coverlet. He grinned down at her. "You had said that as a young girl, you had dreamed of being swept up by a handsome man. I don't know about the handsome part but I can give you the rest."

Eloise sat up and then swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. She straightened her collar and her skirts, embarrassed that her skirts had risen slightly and shown her legs with their black stockings. "If you're trying to fulfill my youthful fantasies, you have far to go. Remember that it's 'happy ever after,' more or less. I'll reserve my judgment until then." And she went to the mirror to remove the hatpins and her hat and she saw Adam's reflection behind her; there was no vestige of a smile left on his face and Eloise felt a pang of guilt. But, she told herself, he had asked her to marry him and she had been clear with him-almost cruelly explicit, that she didn't love him but would accept his proposal. And he had never said that he loved her either. But she worried about the coming night together and what it may bring. When Adam had told her that he wanted "her," she took it to mean that he wanted her person, her body as every husband expects of a wife, and she had agreed. Nevertheless, she did have reservations. The act had never repulsed her, at times had even brought a slight pleasure but then she had loved her husband at the time. Eloise wondered how it would be with the "stranger" now in her room.

On the train, Adam had booked them a semi-private compartment and an older salesman as well as a woman and her teenage daughter were sharing the seats. At one end of the narrow compartment was a window and Eloise sat next to it and as the train flew across the territory, Eloise watched the scenery; it had an almost hypnotic effect. When fatigue overcame her, Eloise rested her head against the cool glass and closed her eyes. At the other end of the compartment was the narrow door leading out to the corridor and there were two small windows beside the door which also had a small window in it. Backed, cushioned benches ran along both sides and Eloise thought of how much it was like the interior of a stage with passengers awkwardly facing one another and being confined to a prescribed fifteen inches.

Eloise had kept wearing her husband, Thomas', wedding band, the narrow band of gold that he had given her and so, after the justice of the peace married her and Adam, Eloise continued to wear it; she had said that it was just a ring and that it really didn't indicate anything except that she wasn't unmarried and looking for a husband. And when Adam had reached over and held her gloved hand, he could feel the shape and hardness of the band on her finger. Adam made up his mind that he would buy Eloise a new ring when they were in Chicago. The lack of a wedding band from him only reinforced to Adam that Eloise was his wife in name only. But he took pleasure in clasping her hand on the train; to him, holding her hand bespoke that she was his wife.

The young girl in the compartment was smitten with Adam and Eloise found it amusing. The girl's name was Mirabelle and she engaged Adam in conversation about novels and poetry and she listened carefully to his opinions. Mirabelle asked Adam how he made his living and although he tried to underplay his family's wealth and holdings by stating that he was a glorified ranch hand, she was even more intrigued and her romantic curiosity was piqued. She prattled on about how she had just been out to Sacramento City and how exciting the whole trip had been. Adam politely listened and despite her mother's correction that she shouldn't take up so much of the gentleman's time, after all, he was married, Mirabelle continued. Eloise told the mother that it was fine and that she appreciated Mirabelle's interest; she, herself, wasn't one much for conversation so she was happy that her husband had someone with whom to converse. And she glanced at Adam who looked at her with an expression she didn't understand.

The night passed with Eloise leaning against the window despite Adam having told her that she could rest her head against him. Eloise declined and said that she was fine. Eloise finally had to admit to herself that she was afraid of Adam as far as his physicality-he seemed to overwhelm her and she needed to keep him at a distance. But during the night, she awoke from the salesman's snoring and glanced around the compartment. The gas light that was on the compartment wall had been turned down and a low flame burned and she watched Adam as he slept next to her. He had sunk down in the seat and his head bobbed slightly with the rhythm of the rails. Eloise looked at his mouth, at how tender and full his lips were and she wondered if they would ever kiss. He had kissed her on the cheek after the legal ceremony; she had turned her head slightly when he leaned down to kiss her and so he kissed her cheek. A tenderness for him suddenly welled up inside her and she gently shook his shoulder.

"What is it?" he asked, suddenly alert. "What's wrong?"

"Shh. Nothing's wrong. I just thought you might like to be more comfortable. You can lay your head on my lap if you like."

Adam looked at her for a few seconds and then he adjusted himself in the seat, turning on his side, and placed his head on her thighs, drawing his knees up slightly to fit. He closed his eyes as he made himself comfortable, crossing his arms across his chest "That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs," Adam mumbled and sighed before he drifted off again.

Eloise saw her reflection in the compartment window and realized that she was smiling. She well understand Adam's comment and that it was an allusion to "country matters" as Hamlet put it to Ophelia. And to herself, she softly spoke the lines:

"Lady, shall I lie in your lap?
No, my lord.
I mean my head upon your lap.
Aye, my lord.
Or did you think I meant country matters?
I think nothing, my lord.
That's a fair thought, to lie between maid's legs."

And Eloise looked down at Adam as he slept so peacefully. And despite his day's growth of beard, she thought how very beautiful he was-almost angelic in a manner, and she whispered, "Goodnight, sweet prince," and lightly stroked his hair. And a welling of emotion practically shook her, so she turned to the window and saw her reflection again. "Through a glass, darkly," she whispered. And she saw that she was crying.

But now they were in Chicago and she wanted to see the lawyer and all she felt for Adam was impatience. "There's still a few hours left for business today and I'm not hungry-can't we eat later? I believe that Mr. Cross will still be at his office and even if he couldn't see us right away, we could wait." She turned toward Adam. "I'd like to see him as soon as possible."

"All right," Adam was disappointed-he was hungry and he wanted to be alone with Eloise for a bit before they saw anyone else. "Let me shave and change into a suit and we'll go. You don't want your lawyer to think you've married some no-account cowboy now, do you?"

"That depends. Is it true?"

"Who else but a desperate, no-account would marry a woman who doesn't want him?" And he took his shaving gear and as he passed her, he swatted her on the rear. She jumped and put her hands protectively over her buttocks. Adam just chuckled and went into the attached washroom. And Eloise was left staring at a reflection in the mirror and what she saw was a humorless woman with a cruelly-set mouth. She saw a woman who was taking her pain out on someone who seemed to care about her. "Stop," she told her reflection. "Just stop. Be kind to him. And tonight, if he wants your body, allow it and be kind. He deserves whatever he desires and there's always a price anyway. It's not too much to pay."