HØere With Yondaime
By: DracoAries.
Written: 25th & 26th of February, 2007.
Disclaimer: Yondaime Hokage, Sarutobi, Hayate, Genma, Izumo, Kotetsu & Raidou (c) Masashi Kishimoto.
Inspired by: My friend Scarlet Butterfly and other fan fictions.
Reason: She loves him an awful lot. There are so many fan fictions with ask this-and-this-person, but not with Yondaime.
Summary:
We have all read ask NARUTO characters fan fictions. But this time it's with Yondaime.
Chapter 11:
Yondaime turns on his camera again after a really long time.
"Hi, dudes, and welcome back to 'Here With Yondaime'. It's been a long time, eh? But I did tell you I was leaving for London. And man, did I have fun? Oh yeah, it was awsome! But I doubt you want to know about that. And now I have quite many questions, so prepare for them. And I have here with me Hayate, Genma, Izumo, Kotetsu and Raidou."
He picks up a paper from before he left on a vecation.
"Oh my gahd, many. Oh, they're from anime-girl98. Then I understand... Okay, first question in a long time now.
What would you get if you have a Hyuuga and Naruto have a kid?
I wouldn't get a shit, but their kid would be... uhhhh... really cute? You're talking about Hinata, right? Of course you are. Their kid would be cute, yeah.
How would the bloodline thing turn out?
Yay, more bloodline. Whoppi-doo... I suppose their kid would get that bloodline. Yeah, that would happen, it has too. That'd be cool! An Uzumaki with Byakugen.
What do you think of the clans in Konoha?
I dunno! They're cool? Yeah, they are cool! I want to be in a clan like that. Or maybe not!?
Are you jealous of them?
Apearently I don't know. Maybe, maybe not! Awsome...
Can you say, 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'?
Yes, I just did! It's really easy, actually. You've been watching Mary Poppins? Great movie, really.
Or, 'Pneumonoult...ramicro...' uhhhh...?
Um... no...! I can't say that, it was really hard."
He tries to say it a couple of times and force the other boys to try, but none of them can.
"Okay, let's keep on.
ØWhat if in the future Akatsuki killed a friend of Naruto because he was a container of Shukaku and then tried to kidnap Naruto to get his demon out of him and have him die?
That's gonna happen? Dude, that's not nice. I hate that bastard! I wanna kill him. What's his name? I'll kill him.
What's your favorite jutsu?
Hmmmm, good question. I'm not sure. I really like the Rasengan, but... I'm not surrrreeee... I don't know, the Rasengan I think."
He looks at the next questions.
"No, Obito's on a mission... Kakashi too... Orochimaru isn't here, but sure, we'll answer them... Anko is also on a mission... Oh, let's have those for Sarutobi. Oi, Sarutobi, come here!"
The other Hokage comes in.
"Here you go!"
S: "Hey, thanks! Let's see then...
ØIs it just me, or are all the ninjas in the village weird in some kind of way, including you?
I believe everybody's weird. Yes, even me! But at least I'm not as weird as that guy."
He points at Yondaime who's quite busy having his finger in his ear, appearently digging for something.
S: "See what I mean?
If you were to have a grandson, would you name him after Konoha?
If I had a grandson I think my daughter would name him. But Konoha, that was really good! I should tell her. Maybe Konohamaru, do you like that?
Did you do something weird to Jiraya to have him gain his pervertedness as his sensei?
Nobody needs to do something to him, he's like that by nature. Let me tell you something about him; He has a teddy bear! He sleeps with it in his arms. Now you can all blackmail him!
Can you do any cool jutsus?
Well, of course, I'm a Hokage, right? I can- Oh, sorry, have to go!"
Sarutobi leaves.
"Finally! Okay, more questions now... You guys aren't very nice! I asked you to ask These five guys some questions, but no. Then I'll just let them answer Orochimaru's questions."
He gives Hayate the paper.
H: "Okay, let's see... at-shjo!"
K: "Eew, he sneezed all over it! I'm not touching it now!"
H: "Sorry, I'm sick."
I: "You always are."
G: "Okay, I'll do the first one.
Are you pedophile?
No, I'm not- Oh, it's for Orochimaru. Then yeah, I'm pretty sure he-"
R: "No, he isn't, Genma! I'm quite sure of that."
G: "But how do we know, Raidou? How do we know?"
K: "And shut up! Next question.
Why is your village mostly made up by kids?
'Cause kids totally kick ass!"
I: "You just say that because you're a kid yourself!"
K: "Yeah!"
H: "The next one is- at-shjo! Sorry!
What happened to Kabuto?
I don't even know who that is. What about you, Izumo? Kotetsu?"
K: "Nope!"
I: "Never heard of. Okay, I'll do this one.
How do you feel being Anko's sensei?
Hey, Hayate, you're in her team. How does he feel?"
H: "I'm not in Anko's team."
G: "Really? Oh..."
H: "Some friends you guys are..."
Complete silence.
"Okay, so they're done with that. Let's keep on! Oh, from kksmarties. Oh, so you like it that I decided to keep on with this? Good, I did it because of my fans. Oka- oh, it's for Sarutobi... Hey, idiot, you have more questions..."
S: "Oh, how nice."
"I think it's evil..."
S: "Shut up or go and sulk. Okay, so you chose sulking. Of course...
Why do you do all the work if Yondaime is the Hokage?
I'm Hokage too! And I do it for you, not him. You want him to answer, so I make sure that happens. You should be thankful I'm so nice to Uzumaki."
"Great, now, get out! Ooooh, questions for me!
What do you think about chocolate?
Oh, I love chocolate. And I really love 'SMASH'. If you ever go to Norway, buy it! It's great. And their milk chocolate. It's called melkesjokolade. I can Norwegian, you guys proud? Sure you are!
When everyone grow up, who do you think will be the hottest?
Me! Okay, maybe not. And I have grown up. According to nature and jutsus, it will be Kakashi. His bloodline thing you know. But he can't show his face, that bastard. And of the girls... Iruka. What, he's acting like a girl! He screamed when he saw this spider yesterday. No, he didn't yell, he screamed. Like a girl! And Kakashi got rid of the spider for him. Ironic, eh?
Are you sure that you can't see the future?
A-ha! Sure! No, wait, maybe I can. Yes, I can see something now... all my fans... inviting me to... eat ramen with them... and... they go to... Norway... and buy me... chocolate... Heh, I'm just kidding, I can't see the future. Or maybe...? Nah, I can't!
Do you think Kurenai is hot?
What's the matter with you guys? You think I'm pedophile? She's fifteen. Come on! But if she was at my age, maybe a bit. I said if she was at MY age...
ØWhy did you kill yourself just because there was some giant demon outside of Konoha?
I did? You lying bastards! You told me I died as a hero!"
He goes to a corner to sulk.
H: "Oh-keeeei... Let's go on without him then.
Kill Itachi and Orochimaru!
Hey, this fan wants you to-"
"I know, I heard you. Besides, I think their both dead already."
K: "Cool! Me now, gimme the paper.
ØIf you don't kill Orochimaru, at least kill Sasuke so that when he's twelve he doesn't leave Konoha and become an S-class criminal and make Naruto and Sakura sad and him become evil and destroy everything 'cause Itachi ruined his life.
Right... You have some quite weird fans, don't you?"
"M-hm...!"
I: "Don't worry, guys. He'll kill Orochimaru. If he isn't dead already...
If you don't do what I said in question six, you're seriously screwed."
"I told you I'll DO it! Geez! Besides, you all know I'm screwed anyways. And I'll take the next questions, I'm done sulking.
What do you think of you being paired up with Anko?
Ewwww... gross! She's eleven, dammit! At least I think she is... Besides, I don't like her. She's so... you know!
What would think if Naruto met this guy who's like a girl on a mission?
I think? I mean, of course I think! Hehe... Sooooo... are you saying he'll meet Obito? I'm just kidding! I don't know really, guess it'd be okay. Hell annoying, but okay.
What do you think of Deidara-kun?
Screw him! Haha, that could be tolked in two ways. Eh? EH??? I'm so funny... Okay, don't screw him like that, just... you know... yeah..."
Genma gives him a new paper.
"Ah, thanks, Genma-kun. Og course, more from anime-girl98, why am I not surprised.
Why do you like yourself so much?
'Cause I kick ass, duh! I'm like so cool!"
R: "He thinks he's that cool."
K: "But he really isn't."
I: "Doesn't he sleep with a teddy?"
H: "I think it's a- cough, cough! Sorry. A frog or something."
G: "Because he's afraid of the dark."
H: "Yeah, so he isn't that great. Okay, we'll stop, you can keep on with the questions now, Yondaime-sama. Where is he?"
Yondaime sulks again.
I: "Oh, brother!"
"Fine, I'll answer.
ØWhat do those evil villagers treat Naruto like shit after that Kyuubi inccident, even though he's not the fox, without pausing to remember that's he's your son?
I dunno. 'Cause they're all asses? I don't know yet, because it hasn't happened yet. Remember I don't have that bloodline thing.
Why are all the ninjas I know crazy or weird?
I dunno... Hey, this is so deja vu like. Someone asked Sarutobi this. And you have this bloodline thing? Shame on you! But I don't know. We just are.
What did Jiraya do to Kakashi to make him a pervert?
He gave him... books... His books, and they're perverted, they really are."
Kotetsu gives him a new paper.
"Thanks! Hey, from a new reviewer! Gwinty13 is the name. Cool! Hey, it's for Hayate."
H: "Um, okay, thanks.
You always look tired, is this because you and Yugao are busy all night?
Uh... no! I don't even know her. She's mean to me. I don't like her! Besides, she doesn't want to touch me, 'cause I'm sick. I look tired because I don't sleep much. I'm sick all the time, so I usually can't sleep. It sucks!"
I: "Right... Hey, a question for me!
Your right eye is always covered by your hair, why?
It looks great! I mean, really, look! It's awsome."
K: "I think there's something wrong with it."
I: "It isn't! It's just cool! And you think there's something wrong with me? You're the one with weird stuff in your face. You also have that thing over your nose."
K: "Oh yeah?"
Kotetsu and Izumo fights.
"M-hmmmm... Bye, Kotetsu! Bye, Izumo! Okay, let's keep this on. Ah, from hannibal221.
ØWould you consider arranging a marrage between Naruto and Hinata?
They're just kids and, accoriding to evil fans, I'll be dead when they grow up. Nah, I think I'll survive. Sure, if I survive and they want to I can. Promise! And I'll arrange a marrage between Kakashi and Iruka too. I don't care whenever they want to, I'll make them. Or else I'll pull down their pants, shove my foot up there twice, then a kunai, and then my foot again. Then I'll tie them up, throw them off a bridge, then rescue them and sing 'Mary had a Little Lamb' with a really crappy voice. And that'd be it. Okay, I won't do it! They want to get married anyways."
He puts away the papers.
"Okay, that's it. Awwww, look at Hayate, Genma and Raidou, they're sleeping. How cute!"
He picks up Genma's hand and places it around Raidou.
"Hehe! I'm such a genious. Okay, bye!"
The camera is turned off.