Chapter 11
Day 300
It's been a boring day. Nothing has changed. I've been cutting myself for a while no. I can't take this. I want to be free of my past and yet it haunts me every day and I have no way of escaping it. I finally blocked Lissa once and for all and I'm not sure if she knows this or not. Yet at the same time the darkness find a way to slip into my mind and makes me go crazy.
Jesse has been helping a lot and I think him for that. I needed a friend that I can trust and he knows everything about my past. He hasn't told the others because I didn't want them to know. Now I just have to face this new day.
RHM
RosePOV
The concert was about to start and I was up first. I knew which songs I would be singing and which ones the others were going to sing. This was one of the longest concerts that we would play for over an hour. This was the only free one we did. Yet we asked for everyone to donate five dollars so that they could give back to the community and the world around them.
The yelling and the screaming was really loud. Jesse walked on the stage and said, "Are you REadYYYYYYYYYYYY! To ROOOOOOOOOOCK !"
More screaming and yelling my name. I looked at my dress one last time. I looked hot and more myself then I did a long time.
"What's up New York! are you ready to Rock!"
More screaming and then I said, "How about a little thoughtless"
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
No, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
Wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny, what the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
No, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you drown, drown, drown
Wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger and you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny, what the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
No, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming
All my friends are gone, they died
They all screamed and cried
I'm gonna take you down, gonna take you down
Gonna take you down, gonna take you down
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
No, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
No, you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground, I will see you screaming
"Now how about I'm alive because I feel a live to day."
Telling Layla's story spoken
'Bout how all her bones are broken
Hammers fall on all the pieces
Two months in the cover creases
Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive
Now she knows
How to believe in futures
All my complaints shrink to nothing
I'm ashamed of all my somethings
She's glad for one day of comfort
Only because she has suffered
Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive
Now she knows
How to believe in futures
Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive
Now she knows
How to believe in futures
Fully alive
More than most
Ready to smile and love life
Fully alive
Now she knows
How to believe in futures
All to soon everyone played their song. I looked over at Jesse and said, "How about love the way you lie. Give them a tease of the new song that we've written."
"Sounds good with me. Let's do it."
[Chorus – Rose.]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I Love the way you lie
[Verse 1 – Jesse]
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight
High off on love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fuckin' hates me in a lovin' way.
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back
Here we go again, it's so insane
Cuz when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's lois lane when and it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snap "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on him, I never stood so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength
[Chorus - Rose]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
[Verse 2 - Jesse]
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em
It's the fate that took over, it controls you both
So they say, you'd best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya cuz today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over and it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"
[Chorus - Rose]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
[Verse 3 - Jesse]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same team
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn't you. Baby it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
Ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Just gonna
[Chorus - Rose]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
We walked off the stage and I saw the look in Dimitri's eyes and knew that he was pissed off. It wasn't my fault that he wanted nothing to do with me. He's the one who didn't want nothing to do with me. He never tried to stop me from leaving everything that I knew.
When we got back to the hotel I went to my room and changed out of the clothes I was wearing and put on sweats and walked out of my room and down to Jesse's room. I knocked on his door. When he opened his door he looked at me and said, "What's wrong?"
"I don't want him near me. I'm scared that he would try and find out what happened and the reasons why I left. My mom and dad know, Christian and Eddie know. I'm scared Jesse. I'm scared that I might say something and he would find out what had happened and I cannot let that happen. Please help me. I need someone to help me."
Dpov
I watched Rose sing and the last song hit a nerve and I knew then how much pain I've put her in. Abe was standing next to me and I looked at him and said, "I don't want to do this anymore. I'm only putting her in more pain by staying here. I should be back at court with Lissa and the others. She's made up her mind about me and everyone else. She tried to kill herself because I was here."
"Whether you leave or not, she would have done the same thing Dimitri. I'm pissed that you slept with my daughter when she was underage, but you need to find out what the hell is wrong with her. She won't survive long in this world. She is slowly dying. She wants nothing to do with this world. You need to try and get her to trust you again so she can open up and tell you what happened."
I knew he was right and yet I felt it was my fault that Rose was acting like this. I was scared about what I should do. I knew she would be pissed if I walked up to her later tonight and ask her what's wrong with her. Why did you leave? And all the bullshit that I couldn't find myself to do.
When we got back to the Hotel I noticed that Rose was walking to Jesse's room. He opened the door and they were talking. I couldn't tell what they were talking about but Rose looked so upset that she started to hit him. Jesse took her hands in his and then he held her. She calmed down after that. I walked over to them and said, "Is everything okay?"
"Don't worry about it. She's fine. She's upset because you people had to come back into her life when she just started to heal and now you guys opened up old scars. You of all people shouldn't be here. Tori told me what you did to her, and Rose told me how you treated her when she was with a -"
"Jesse please stop. He doesn't know about that or what happened. He was the cause of most of this. Just take me back to my room so that I can rest before we leave in the morning. But I know that I won't be able to sleep tonight."
I watched as Rose walked away from us and back to her room. I looked at Jesse and he just walked back into his room and closed the door. I went back to my post and opened up the journal that Abe gave me and started to read it.
A/N: OOOOOhhhhhhhhh…what do you all think is going to happen? Hey I need song ideas for Dimitri to sing…some of you did send me some but I need the words to the song, the title and who sings the song…everyone has to the end of November to get me some ides. Also I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while. College is driving me crazy, was in a car accident last Tuesday and I'm fine. I'll try and update as soon as I can…if anyone has any ideas let me know okay. Also my first ff is on hold for now until January because I lost my ideas for that story….those who read that one and this one let me know what you have in mind okay….please Review and until next time
P.S. if anyone want to look me up on facebook its dsquarella ... I might start putting up some updates about some of my stories….
I'm starting something called books recommending, I'll do at least three books.
Book of shadows by cate tiernan- its about a girl name Morgan who discovers Wicca through a new guy in town. Learns who she is and learns that's she had a power. A power stronger then Cal, the new student at the school. Also that she is a witch.
*this book searies is one of my favorites.
2. The hollow by Jessica Verday- about a girl named Abby who lost her best friend and she's trying to find out what happened when she meets Caspian a strange young boy who hangs out in the grave yard (cemetery )
3. Jessica's guide to dating on the dark side by Beth Fantaskey- a girl named Jessica who was adopted by her parents and yet when the strange exchange student comes and stays at her house, she finds out who she really is and that she is not who she always thought she was..
RoseSkyAnge