You're Supposed to Hate Me
Ch10- Fractured
AN: I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get this out. A few things: this story is going in an entirely different direction from what I thought originally. Things are going to happen which I had told myself I would never use in my stories. But I won't tell you what those things are, and maybe you won't mind them. Also, you might just hate me for a little while with the chapters, because things will change. Again, I'm sorry. I hope that you still like the story though. And without further ado, here's chapter ten.
**
When Luke got over being stunned at the appearance of his nephew, he raced out of the hospital room to find the disgruntled teenager. He caught a glimpse of the familiar mess of so-called 'hair' getting on the elevator, but the doors closed before he could get in as well. He waited well over five minutes for the elevator returned and he really hoped that Jess hadn't had enough time to get back into his cab and ride back to the airport. But as he found his way to the main doors of the hospital, he saw Jess sitting on a bench just outside the doors, struggling, with what appeared to be very shaky hands, to light a cigarette. Luke took a seat next to the distraught man who looked too much like a little boy at that moment. The older man had never been to good at these heart-to-heart talks, so they just sat in awkward silence until Luke figured that something had to be said.
Luke: "She was joking, Jess."
J: "Huh. Yeah right."
Luke: "Think what you want. But before she said that, we had a good conversation about you and Rory. She said that she's getting used to you, might even like you just a little. She thinks that you are good for Rory."
J: "Lorelai never liked me, but I can understand why. I wasn't exactly Mr. Congeniality. I don't exactly believe what you say, but I'll go along with it for now. And I'll be as nice as possible."
Luke: "That's all I ask .. So you came?"
J: "Yep. Nearly wiped out my bank account, but here I am."
Luke: "Good. I . well Rory missed you. You gonna come back to Stars Hollow with us?"
J: "Looks that way."
Luke: "Okay. Well you know the rules now, so I'm guessing you'll be going back to Stars Hollow High next year?"
J: "Ugh. I don't know. I don't really want to think about all of that now. Tell me . how is she?"
Luke: "She's in pretty bad shape. Lots of broken bones, internal bleeding and stuff. She had surgery so she's still knocked out. The doctor said they thought she might be okay if the surgery went well, but he hasn't come to talk to us since she came out of the operating room."
J: "Oh man. When you said she was in an accident, I never thought it would be that bad. Shit. Luke, how am I supposed to deal with this?"
Luke: "You stay with her, you hold her hand. She's going to need a lot of support right now- that's why it's so important that you're here. Now why don't we go upstairs? You can sit with her and work out all of your issues while Lorelai and I grab breakfast. And don't worry, you won't have to figure out what to say to Rory just yet, she shouldn't wake up for a while yet."
So they stood up together and made their way back to Rory's room, where Luke found Lorelai and took her down to the cafeteria. Jess stood at the foot of Rory's bed for what seemed like forever, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't believe the sight before him. The most gorgeous woman he had ever seen was reduced to a little girl in that bed with all the tubes and bandages. He felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but managed to compose himself. Taking one of the now empty chairs by her side, he self-consciously took her hand in his own and began to massage it as he sat deep in thought. He knew that Rory was fast asleep, so he figured that it wouldn't hurt anyone if he got some of his feelings out there in the open.
J: "Ror? I know you probably can't hear me, and that's the only reason I'm telling you this. I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I left. I didn't mean to hurt you, to make you run after me, to put you in this god-awful place. I know I'm no fucking saint, Rory, even though you always acted like I was. I didn't want to ruin your perfect future, which is exactly what would have happened. What WOULD happen. I guess I'm coming home. If you want me back, I'm here and we can give it another shot. Who knows? Maybe this time I won't screw up, maybe I'll make something of myself. I'm not too sure of anything at this point, except that I love you, and no matter what happens, nothing will change that. So get better so that I can have my Rory back again. If I can't have MY Rory again, at least bring back the girl who gave me a chance when no one else would, who was the only person who understood the writings of the Beat generation and could appreciate Oscar Wilde and discuss the literary devices used by Faulkner. I miss that girl."
He sat there again in silence, feeling much better about his situation. Jess knew that Lorelai and Luke weren't going to come back anytime soon, so he just sat back, still gripping Rory's hand, and pulled his book out of his back pocket. When Rory woke up, he would talk about 'On the Road' with her. When he suddenly turned the page and discovered that he had finished the book, Jess checked his watch, which read 10:37 am. He had been sitting there reading for over an hour, and he began to worry slightly. Luke and Lorelai had not come back from the cafeteria yet, but that wasn't his biggest concern. His eyes fell on the unconscious form next to him, and realized that it had been more than three hours since Rory had been brought to her hospital room and the anesthesia from surgery should have at least begun to wear off.
Jess didn't know too much about hospitals and surgery and all of that, but he knew when something was wrong. He always prided himself on his 'sixth sense' which could tell his when he was in danger on the streets of New York or when Luke was looking for him to work in the diner. But just this once, he wished that he could just believe the doctor and ignore that feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Just then, the steady beeping coming from one of the machines, supposedly a heart monitor, started to slow dramatically. It wasn't like the hospital scenes from ER or those cheesy soap operas- no loud, long beep to symbolize the lack of a pulse. But maybe that was because Rory still had a pulse, her heart was still beating, only much much slower. Jess pressed the nurse button on the side of the bed, while screaming from his seat for someone to come and help him. There was probably no one on the whole floor that didn't hear his screams, and there were at least four nurses inside the room within seconds. These nurses rushed around the room checking Rory's vital signs as Jess just sat in his chair, his skin as white as a ghost, refusing to let go of Rory's hand.
Eventually the nurses left, promising that Rory was okay and that they would page Doctor Pierce. Not long after, a frantic Luke and a hysterical Lorelai returned. No words were exchanged between the solemn group, they each silently acknowledged the others' suffering and waited patiently for an explanation from the doctor. They didn't have long to wait, however, as Doctor Pierce burst through the door only minutes after the 'episode'.
D: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to wait outside for a few minutes while I perform a few tests on Ms. Gilmore here."
J: "NO. We're not leaving her. Not after what she's been through."
D: "I'm sorry son, but it will only be a few minutes. Then you can come back in and stay for as long as you would like."
Jess looked as though he wanted to punch the doctor, but Luke and Lorelai quickly jumped up and helped Jess to the chairs just outside the door to Rory's room. Doctor Pierce kept his promise, and within just a matter of minutes he was standing in front of them.
D: "I understand that you are very worried. And I'm not going to lie to you about what is going on with Ms. Gilmore. The surgery did not accomplish everything that we had hoped, and it appears that she has slipped into a catatonic state. We are going to send these tests to the lab to verify this diagnosis, but right now things are not looking good. At this point, with the amount of bleeding in her brain, it looks like she may not wake up again. Rory's chances are much better if she can wake up as soon as possible, but unfortunately there is no way to make her wake up any faster. I am so sorry about the news, but I would advise you to think about your options if Ms. Gilmore does not wake up anytime soon."
Lorelai: "We are not going to pull the plug on Rory. If it means that she is on life support for the rest of our lives until some cure can be found, then that's what will happen. I will not be the reason for my daughter's death!"
D: "I understand. It is always better to understand the options though. Now I have to get to a trauma in the emergency room, but I promise I will be back to check on Ms. Gilmore's progress."
And with that, the doctor walked down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving a very young mother, a concerned diner owner, and a worthless, yet loving, boyfriend, in shock. For the first time in her life, Lorelai was not only at a loss for words, but she simply didn't want to talk at all.
~~~ Days pass. Lorelai, Luke and Jess have rented rooms at the adjacent hotel, but none of them have spent any significant amount of time in their rooms. It was not unusual for a night nurse to come across someone sprawled across the chairs in the hallway; someone else slumped over in the chair next to Rory, and yet another person pacing the room nervously, even at three or four in the morning. Jess has managed to stay by Rory's side as much as possible, trying to entertain himself, and her, while waiting for some kind of sign from her. Many hours were spent reading pages out of their favorite books.
All the relatives have been notified, and elder couple- namely Richard and Emily Gilmore- called to threaten the doctor about the well being of their granddaughter. But yet, there has been no change in Rory's condition. Lorelai stands resolutely with her decision to keep Rory on life-support until every last option has been exhausted and Rory's heart just cannot support her weak body any longer.
Jess wakes early on Saturday with a serious pain in his neck as he realizes that he had been sleeping completely bent over the side of the chair, with his arm almost touching the floor. After a quick glance at Rory, whom, he judged, was still in her coma, he headed out of the room towards the men's room. Walking through the door, Jess caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the wall. He looked surprisingly well, not nearly as pale as Rory, his hair only a little more messed up than usual. His eyes flashed with anger as he realized that he was doing fine while his best friend, the love of his life, was barely hanging onto her life in some foreign hospital bed. His hand came up from his side and punched his reflection. As the glass shattered, his reflection showed his emotions- fractured and confused. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality and went to clean up the mess that he had made.
But leaning down, he still couldn't get over that feeling that he was wrong to go about his life when Rory was practically dead already. So he picked up one of the sharp pieces of the shattered mirror and walked back out the door.
***
AN: I know, I'm mean. I can't help it, cliffhangers come naturally to me. I know where I'm going from here (or at least I hope so). I should have the next chapter up next week b/c I'm going on a college trip. But keep your eyes peeled, you might get a surprise in the form of an early update if you feel like being nice and reviewing!!!!
Ch10- Fractured
AN: I am so sorry that this has taken me so long to get this out. A few things: this story is going in an entirely different direction from what I thought originally. Things are going to happen which I had told myself I would never use in my stories. But I won't tell you what those things are, and maybe you won't mind them. Also, you might just hate me for a little while with the chapters, because things will change. Again, I'm sorry. I hope that you still like the story though. And without further ado, here's chapter ten.
**
When Luke got over being stunned at the appearance of his nephew, he raced out of the hospital room to find the disgruntled teenager. He caught a glimpse of the familiar mess of so-called 'hair' getting on the elevator, but the doors closed before he could get in as well. He waited well over five minutes for the elevator returned and he really hoped that Jess hadn't had enough time to get back into his cab and ride back to the airport. But as he found his way to the main doors of the hospital, he saw Jess sitting on a bench just outside the doors, struggling, with what appeared to be very shaky hands, to light a cigarette. Luke took a seat next to the distraught man who looked too much like a little boy at that moment. The older man had never been to good at these heart-to-heart talks, so they just sat in awkward silence until Luke figured that something had to be said.
Luke: "She was joking, Jess."
J: "Huh. Yeah right."
Luke: "Think what you want. But before she said that, we had a good conversation about you and Rory. She said that she's getting used to you, might even like you just a little. She thinks that you are good for Rory."
J: "Lorelai never liked me, but I can understand why. I wasn't exactly Mr. Congeniality. I don't exactly believe what you say, but I'll go along with it for now. And I'll be as nice as possible."
Luke: "That's all I ask .. So you came?"
J: "Yep. Nearly wiped out my bank account, but here I am."
Luke: "Good. I . well Rory missed you. You gonna come back to Stars Hollow with us?"
J: "Looks that way."
Luke: "Okay. Well you know the rules now, so I'm guessing you'll be going back to Stars Hollow High next year?"
J: "Ugh. I don't know. I don't really want to think about all of that now. Tell me . how is she?"
Luke: "She's in pretty bad shape. Lots of broken bones, internal bleeding and stuff. She had surgery so she's still knocked out. The doctor said they thought she might be okay if the surgery went well, but he hasn't come to talk to us since she came out of the operating room."
J: "Oh man. When you said she was in an accident, I never thought it would be that bad. Shit. Luke, how am I supposed to deal with this?"
Luke: "You stay with her, you hold her hand. She's going to need a lot of support right now- that's why it's so important that you're here. Now why don't we go upstairs? You can sit with her and work out all of your issues while Lorelai and I grab breakfast. And don't worry, you won't have to figure out what to say to Rory just yet, she shouldn't wake up for a while yet."
So they stood up together and made their way back to Rory's room, where Luke found Lorelai and took her down to the cafeteria. Jess stood at the foot of Rory's bed for what seemed like forever, trying to figure out what to do. He couldn't believe the sight before him. The most gorgeous woman he had ever seen was reduced to a little girl in that bed with all the tubes and bandages. He felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but managed to compose himself. Taking one of the now empty chairs by her side, he self-consciously took her hand in his own and began to massage it as he sat deep in thought. He knew that Rory was fast asleep, so he figured that it wouldn't hurt anyone if he got some of his feelings out there in the open.
J: "Ror? I know you probably can't hear me, and that's the only reason I'm telling you this. I missed you so much, I'm so sorry I left. I didn't mean to hurt you, to make you run after me, to put you in this god-awful place. I know I'm no fucking saint, Rory, even though you always acted like I was. I didn't want to ruin your perfect future, which is exactly what would have happened. What WOULD happen. I guess I'm coming home. If you want me back, I'm here and we can give it another shot. Who knows? Maybe this time I won't screw up, maybe I'll make something of myself. I'm not too sure of anything at this point, except that I love you, and no matter what happens, nothing will change that. So get better so that I can have my Rory back again. If I can't have MY Rory again, at least bring back the girl who gave me a chance when no one else would, who was the only person who understood the writings of the Beat generation and could appreciate Oscar Wilde and discuss the literary devices used by Faulkner. I miss that girl."
He sat there again in silence, feeling much better about his situation. Jess knew that Lorelai and Luke weren't going to come back anytime soon, so he just sat back, still gripping Rory's hand, and pulled his book out of his back pocket. When Rory woke up, he would talk about 'On the Road' with her. When he suddenly turned the page and discovered that he had finished the book, Jess checked his watch, which read 10:37 am. He had been sitting there reading for over an hour, and he began to worry slightly. Luke and Lorelai had not come back from the cafeteria yet, but that wasn't his biggest concern. His eyes fell on the unconscious form next to him, and realized that it had been more than three hours since Rory had been brought to her hospital room and the anesthesia from surgery should have at least begun to wear off.
Jess didn't know too much about hospitals and surgery and all of that, but he knew when something was wrong. He always prided himself on his 'sixth sense' which could tell his when he was in danger on the streets of New York or when Luke was looking for him to work in the diner. But just this once, he wished that he could just believe the doctor and ignore that feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Just then, the steady beeping coming from one of the machines, supposedly a heart monitor, started to slow dramatically. It wasn't like the hospital scenes from ER or those cheesy soap operas- no loud, long beep to symbolize the lack of a pulse. But maybe that was because Rory still had a pulse, her heart was still beating, only much much slower. Jess pressed the nurse button on the side of the bed, while screaming from his seat for someone to come and help him. There was probably no one on the whole floor that didn't hear his screams, and there were at least four nurses inside the room within seconds. These nurses rushed around the room checking Rory's vital signs as Jess just sat in his chair, his skin as white as a ghost, refusing to let go of Rory's hand.
Eventually the nurses left, promising that Rory was okay and that they would page Doctor Pierce. Not long after, a frantic Luke and a hysterical Lorelai returned. No words were exchanged between the solemn group, they each silently acknowledged the others' suffering and waited patiently for an explanation from the doctor. They didn't have long to wait, however, as Doctor Pierce burst through the door only minutes after the 'episode'.
D: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to wait outside for a few minutes while I perform a few tests on Ms. Gilmore here."
J: "NO. We're not leaving her. Not after what she's been through."
D: "I'm sorry son, but it will only be a few minutes. Then you can come back in and stay for as long as you would like."
Jess looked as though he wanted to punch the doctor, but Luke and Lorelai quickly jumped up and helped Jess to the chairs just outside the door to Rory's room. Doctor Pierce kept his promise, and within just a matter of minutes he was standing in front of them.
D: "I understand that you are very worried. And I'm not going to lie to you about what is going on with Ms. Gilmore. The surgery did not accomplish everything that we had hoped, and it appears that she has slipped into a catatonic state. We are going to send these tests to the lab to verify this diagnosis, but right now things are not looking good. At this point, with the amount of bleeding in her brain, it looks like she may not wake up again. Rory's chances are much better if she can wake up as soon as possible, but unfortunately there is no way to make her wake up any faster. I am so sorry about the news, but I would advise you to think about your options if Ms. Gilmore does not wake up anytime soon."
Lorelai: "We are not going to pull the plug on Rory. If it means that she is on life support for the rest of our lives until some cure can be found, then that's what will happen. I will not be the reason for my daughter's death!"
D: "I understand. It is always better to understand the options though. Now I have to get to a trauma in the emergency room, but I promise I will be back to check on Ms. Gilmore's progress."
And with that, the doctor walked down the hallway towards the elevator, leaving a very young mother, a concerned diner owner, and a worthless, yet loving, boyfriend, in shock. For the first time in her life, Lorelai was not only at a loss for words, but she simply didn't want to talk at all.
~~~ Days pass. Lorelai, Luke and Jess have rented rooms at the adjacent hotel, but none of them have spent any significant amount of time in their rooms. It was not unusual for a night nurse to come across someone sprawled across the chairs in the hallway; someone else slumped over in the chair next to Rory, and yet another person pacing the room nervously, even at three or four in the morning. Jess has managed to stay by Rory's side as much as possible, trying to entertain himself, and her, while waiting for some kind of sign from her. Many hours were spent reading pages out of their favorite books.
All the relatives have been notified, and elder couple- namely Richard and Emily Gilmore- called to threaten the doctor about the well being of their granddaughter. But yet, there has been no change in Rory's condition. Lorelai stands resolutely with her decision to keep Rory on life-support until every last option has been exhausted and Rory's heart just cannot support her weak body any longer.
Jess wakes early on Saturday with a serious pain in his neck as he realizes that he had been sleeping completely bent over the side of the chair, with his arm almost touching the floor. After a quick glance at Rory, whom, he judged, was still in her coma, he headed out of the room towards the men's room. Walking through the door, Jess caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the wall. He looked surprisingly well, not nearly as pale as Rory, his hair only a little more messed up than usual. His eyes flashed with anger as he realized that he was doing fine while his best friend, the love of his life, was barely hanging onto her life in some foreign hospital bed. His hand came up from his side and punched his reflection. As the glass shattered, his reflection showed his emotions- fractured and confused. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality and went to clean up the mess that he had made.
But leaning down, he still couldn't get over that feeling that he was wrong to go about his life when Rory was practically dead already. So he picked up one of the sharp pieces of the shattered mirror and walked back out the door.
***
AN: I know, I'm mean. I can't help it, cliffhangers come naturally to me. I know where I'm going from here (or at least I hope so). I should have the next chapter up next week b/c I'm going on a college trip. But keep your eyes peeled, you might get a surprise in the form of an early update if you feel like being nice and reviewing!!!!