When all of us had finished our various unpacking and sorting tasks, Carlisle called us all to sit at our newly arranged dining table, looking entirely out of place in the dark, cramped cellar-of-a-room Rosalie insisted was supposed to be the kitchen.
"Ages and relationships," was our adopted father's first words. "I'm sure news will be spreading about us joining the community – we need to sort this now, before the questions start."
"And what about….about…Edward?" Rosalie asked, without looking at any of us. Emmett had his long, muscular arm round her, both of them sitting close together – though not nearly as close as I was next to Jasper, half on my chair, half on his lap, our arms entwined around the other.
"We can sort him out when he returns…"
…Edward pacing, a silent pale shadow across the forest floor, handfuls of leaves kicked up under his feet…reaching for the handle of our front door…
"…he should be home soon – about half an hour," I murmured, half to myself, half in response to Carlisle, who nodded.
"Thank you, Alice."
He took a slow, deep breath; bracing himself to go through the same age-old routine.
"All right, well…do any of you have preferences on ages?"
"I want to be older," said Rosalie at once. "Twenty-two, twenty-three – some age Emmett and I can be married, and still walk into a room without everyone staring their stupid eyes out. Some age normal. Human."
I sighed quietly to myself. Of course…that would be Rosalie's only request. To as normal – as human – as possible. Or at least, appear to be. Poor Rose.
Emmett squeezed her shoulders. "Totally agree."
"All right," said Carlisle. "How about…nineteen, then, for the both of you?"
"Too young," Rosalie shook her head, frowning. "Humans don't get married at anything like that age, these days. You know that."
"Twenty? We really can't go too old Rose, this needs to last a good few years..."
My heart sank. A good few years…we were really going to be here that long?
Rosalie's perfect thin eyebrows knitted together again – she was obviously still doubtful as to whether this was too old for an average human couple. But after a few seconds, she sighed deeply, and nodded. "All right, then. If we must. Twenty."
"Awesome, first real age since '87!" Emmett muttered to himself, shooting me a half-grin over Rosalie's mop of dazzling golden hair. I tried to return it as best I could.
"That's sorted then," Carlisle said, sounding relieved, and turned in his seat to face me and Jazz. "Alice? Jasper?"
"Married," Jasper requested, before I could speak. "I don't mind what age. Alice?" His thumb stroked my cheek once, from behind; the side closest to him, so the others couldn't see. "What would you like?"
"Oh, I don't mind," I shrugged. "Maybe the same as Emmett and Rose? It'll be easier to remember."
Both Jasper and Carlisle nodded in unison.
"Let's go with the usual, dear," murmured Esme, to Carlisle.
"All right," he continued on. "But only if we can find a believable enough reason behind two young couples living in the same house as an older one, then…"
Silence fell as we all considered this, each trying to come up with an explanation. I scanned the future lightly, searching for options…
"We're close friends and horrendously poor so we banned together to pay for our education at the adult college and accommodation, despite our ages?" suggested Emmett.
"Yes, Emmett," Rosalie sighed, exasperatedly. "And that's why we all have flashy giant Jeeps and red Convertibles – and thanks to Alice, enough slinky designer clothes to dress an army…"
"Aw, yeah, sorry, I forgot…"
"Students," Jasper spoke up, suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him – making him shift in his seat, instantly uncomfortable with the attention. He spoke slowly, half-mumbling, as though only talking because he had to.
"Emmett, Rose, me, and Alice are friendly couples who knew each other from high school and moved here to study at that Cornell place. Those of us that want to can get a place at Cornell, and those who don't can pretend they are following a course from home. Carlisle and Esme are older and friends' of our families – they agreed to let us all stay at their house so we would be near Cornell. They can take older ages, and Carlisle…you could get a job."
Everyone contemplated this for a second, while Jasper continued to fidget; still uncomfortable. I twined his hand with mine under the table, squeezing it reassuringly.
"That's a brilliant idea," I said, smiling – and it was.
"Friendly high school couples living for convenience in a place friends of their families own," Carlisle repeated – and he too smiled. "Well done, Jasper. But wait, what about Edward…?"
"He's your son," Jasper interrupted quietly. "A high school friend of ours."
"Perfect, Jasper, well done," said Esme fervently, leaning forward in her seat to smile across the table as at him – though worry was still tight and restrained in her amber eyes. Jasper looked away, down at our now entwined hands, not meeting her gaze.
"That's sorted then," said Carlisle. He hesitated, and then glanced down at his watch. "Half an hour, you said, Alice? In that case…Edward should be here any minute," he murmured. "But in the meantime, who is interested in studying at Cornell? In their adult education section, that would have to be..."
"I am," said Jasper, at once, without looking up.
"In too," said Emmett.
"And me," said Rosalie. "I'll look up the website so we can take a look at courses."
"And I'll see about a job there for me," Carlisle said. "I'm sure I could find something. Alice? What about you…?"
...about you…
…about…
…you…
…Edward, eyes warped with pain, feet tapping loud and uneven on the wood of the floor as he stumbled through the front door…
"…Alice…?"
…across the room, pushing away our outstretched arms…
"...Alice, what do you see…?"
"He's coming," I heard my voice whisper, and then again, struck this time with fear. "He's coming, Edward's coming, he's coming…!"
I battled the future away, stomach contorting into panicked knots as I focussed again on the stricken faces of my family – Esme's most of all.
Jasper's arms were suddenly tighter than ever around me, hands clutching both of mine. I wished I could twist round to see his face, comfort him, reassure him – but he held me tight.
"Jazz, it's ok, it's going to be all right," I said quickly, nestling closer to him, craning to look over my shoulder and try to meet his gaze. "Edward's going to be fine, I promise, I've seen it…"
"It's not that," Jasper whispered, voice quiet with dread. "It's his emotions I'm scared of – didn't you see his face when he came to tell us what he was going to do? He hadn't even spoken to her yet, but now…"
Bang.
The sound of a car door slamming made us all jump. Everyone fell instantly silent.
We all held our breath as Edward's footsteps tapped oddly unevenly up the driveway, before the door finally swung open, and my brother half-stumbled into the room.
"Oh Edward…"
Esme was out of her seat and across the room in less than a second, her arms open towards him – but he pushed her away, shaking his head…
"Don't, Esme, please, leave me alone, don't…"
His voice was cracked and shaking, the voice of a person struggling to contain himself, to keep from losing it completely…
…and he looked just awful. I felt my mouth fall open in horror as I toppled off Jasper's lap and across the room towards him; his face was like the inside of a grave torn open, a corpse's eyes, expression dead, dead, dead…but although it was dead, it was oddly twisted, too, twisted in a kind of mad pain and loss I'd never seen any person suffer before. The only person I could imagine looking worse, impossibly worse was myself…if Jasper ever even thought to leave me.
Except if he had, I would most likely have killed myself already.
Edward looked like a man who had died long ago, died in agony – or rather, his whole reason for living, existing, wanting, feeling, had died, leaving a walking corpse, am empty mind. Like his life was gone. Like his soul was gone.
All of us were out of our seats now, Jasper close behind me as I reached towards my brother – but he had already battled himself away from Esme's attempts to hug him, from Emmett, from Rosalie, turning towards the stairs, and ploughing his way towards them, shoving away our flurries of frantic words…
"Nothing – Esme, all of you, stop it, stop…!"
"Edward –" I heard Carlisle murmur softly, hopelessly.
"Stop it, I don't need it, stop it!" Edward half-shouted, his voice breaking, cracking, trying to push past Esme who blocked his pathway to the stairs.
"Edward…" I heard myself saying, Rosalie echoing my words close behind me.
"No, Esme I mean it!"
The words were a half-shout, a half-cry of terrible pain.
Edward turned from the stairs, and made a bolt for the front door, dodging Jasper's attempt to begin at apologizing…
"Edward –!"
"I'm going hunting. Don't follow me, any of you, please. I'll be back before morning."
His voice broke on the last word. He flung open the door again and was out and away into the black night before any of us could move.
"Edward, wait, wait!" Esme called in desperation, making as if to run after him – but Carlisle caught her shoulders from behind, restraining her gently but firmly.
All six of us stood in screaming silence, staring blank-faced at the open door where Edward had vanished.
Then Esme's face crumpled. She turned round, burying her face in Carlisle's chest, and he held her tightly to him.
"Esme, love, don't cry, it's all right, it's ok…"
He pulled her gently to the stairs, disappearing up them with her, his voice and Esme's beginning sobs becoming fainter. I heard Rosalie mumble to Emmett in a shaky whisper.
"Let's go."
They both headed off upstairs too – but I knew from both their expressions and words that they would not be up to their usual activities tonight. Yet, at least. Both of them vanished from sight.
Slowly, I turned round to face the dining table – and Jasper.
He stood dead still, bleak horror on his face, staring at the gently swinging open door where Edward had disappeared into the night.
He turned his hopeless eyes to meet mine, and spoke in barely more than a whisper.
"What have I done, Alice? What have I done?"