Murdoc woke up to the feeling of a warm body pressed against him. He opened his eyes and looked down at the sleeping man whose face was buried against his chest and fingers curling against his side. He remembered the night before and sighed, he knew that Noodle and Russel had to be awake by now. He didn't really need them seeing him coming out of 2D's room. He slowly pulled out of the singer's loose grip; he got off of the bed, and quickly made his way to the door. He looked back at the sleeping man who was now on his back, still sleeping.

The bassist slipped out of the room and made his way into the rec room where Noodle sat with Russel watching TV. Neither of his band mates acknowledged his presence; they just continued to stare at the screen. Murdoc made his way back down the hallway and out the glass doors that lead to the balcony over looking their land fill. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes, pulling the last one from the pack, and lighting it up. He took a long drag then released the smoke back into the darkened air that constantly surrounded Kong studios. He could just faintly hear the cries of the dead, he could see them stumbling around down below. Sometimes he did feel sorry for them, they were stuck in nowhere. He had seen what Hell was and what it did to a human soul, but he had to say that the walking dead endured something far worse than that.

He watched as one of the zombies stumbled over something and fell to the ground. The body just laid completely motionless with no clue as to how to stand back up. He thought about getting a rifle and trying to pick some of them off. It had been under control for awhile, but lately they had been getting bad again.

The cold wind sent shivers down his spine, he liked it though. He liked how his fingers were beginning to go numb, the hand holding his cigarette shook slightly. He needed to be out here for awhile, he wondered if 2D would be pissed he just left. He had to understand though; Murdoc didn't even know what the hell was going on now. He didn't want to go back, back to beating the shit out of him just because he was frustrated. He knew he should just date him, tell him he wanted to have a real relationship with him, but it would never be real. They could date, but they could never tell their band mates, families, or anybody else. They would just do what they always used to do; make out in bathroom stalls before shows, sneak into each other's rooms late at night for a quick shag, and sneak off before anybody would notice something odd.

That wasn't what he wanted and he still feared being like his father. It was bad enough he beat the singer every chance that he got and it didn't help that he was emotionally abusing him now. He hated all of it. He looked over the railing and thought for a moment how bad it'd hurt if the fall didn't break his neck. Honestly Murdoc had considered death a lot, not generally his own, but the whole prospect in general. He thought about the idea of 2D dying and it scared him, he could feel his breath catch in his throat at the thought. It was a horrible thought and seemed impossible to him, he never wanted to see that happen.

He wished he could commit some kind of emotion to the singer. It killed him when he looked at him now, he looked so frail, and broken lately. Murdoc still couldn't let go of knowing that 2D had been with other men, he wasn't even angry about it anymore. He didn't exactly have the right to be angry about it, but he couldn't help it.

He really didn't know how to make things easier, sometimes he thought just leaving would make things easier. He had a deal with Satan though and he wasn't about to leave everything just because of strange feelings towards one stupid boy.

He heard the glass door squeak open then slam shut behind him. He tensed at the sound of foot steps on the cold metal floor behind him. He looked over to see 2D next to him looking over the railing down at the land below them. Murdoc watched as the singer pulled out his own cigarette, lighting it, and taking a long drag from it. He focused on the younger man's face and watched as he exhaled the light gray smoke into the filthy air around them. The blue haired man opened his eyes and glanced over at him, his eyes looked empty again.

"Why'd yew leave t'is morning?" 2D asked sounding slightly hurt.

"Y'know jus' didn't want anybody seein' me comin' out of yer bedroom. T'at's all, nobody noticed anyways." Murdoc said shrugging.

The younger man nodded and looked away.

Wot did yew do w'en we all left Kong?" the singer asked breaking the silence that had started to grow between them.

Murdoc looked at him for awhile wondering if he should lie or just be honest. Lying was such an easy thing; it had gotten him through most of his life. He was so tired of lying to the younger man though, he was tired in general.

"Got drunk a lot, shagged some birds I met, an' t'en got arrested for a bit in Mexico."

2D continued staring at him, it made him nervous. He felt like the blue haired man knew that he wasn't being completely truthful. He couldn't imagine saying that he'd spent the longest time going into 2D's room and just crying while he wondered over why he was such a fucking bastard. Nothing about that sounded like him, it sounded too raw, and human. He knew it'd make the singer hate him less, but he didn't really want that…He didn't deserve the younger man to like him.

"Why do yew hate me so much?" 2D asked his voice breaking half way through the question.

The Satanist stared at him, he noticed a few tears fall from the younger man's black eyes.

"I don't 'ate yew 'D, I hate myself more t'an anythin'."

"Yew always do t'ings to 'urt me t'ough an' insult me…I t'ought yew didn't mean a lot of t'em, but w'en yew saw me wit' t'at guy….I jus' started finkin' t'at yew 'ate me or else yew wouln' treat me t'at way." He said as he looked out over the landfill.

Murdoc placed his hand over 2D's squeezing lightly. The singer just barely looked over at him.

"I didn' mean t'ose t'ings, I was jus' pissed off. When I saw you wit' t'at fuckin' asshole I jus' snapped, cause I always figured yew belong to me."

He sounded self centered and greedy, he was though. He treated people almost worse than the things that he owned, he really treated this one worse than anything he ever owned.

"Yew don' own me t'ough, I'm jus' t'ere for when yer bored or angry." 2D said bitterly as he pulled his hand away.

"I'm sorry 'bout t'e girls al'ight, t'at was fuckin' stupid of me. T'ere I admit t'at, it fuckin' killed me seein yew wit' him."

"Now yew know 'ow I fucking feel." The singer spat back as he glared down at the older man.

He knew he should be angry; normally he would have punched him by now. He didn't have it in him though; he was tired of all of this.

"I know an' I fuckin' deserve it….I jus' really miss yew 2D, I can' stop fucking t'inkin' 'bout yew. I've felt like shit ever since wot happened, it shouldn't 'ave happened in t'e first place." Murdoc said as he looked away from the younger man's eyes.

He sighed heavily before taking one more drag from his cigarette then throwing it over the railing.

"Yer a prick y'know an' I don't know why I like yew, but I do. I wish I didn' t'ough, I'm real tired of cryin' all t'e time."

2D backed away from the railing and stood with his head bowed and hair in his face. The sky above them darkened, thunder could be heard booming in the distance, and with that it began raining. Murdoc looked up at the sky, it always rained at Kong. He looked back at the taller man who seemed to not even notice the change in weather. He walked over to him placing a hand on the side of his face causing him to look up at him through those sad black eyes.

"I'm tired of cryin' too luv." He whispered before pressing his lips against the other man's in a soft kiss.