Chapter 11: Taste of salt
POV Lovino
My heart was beating madly and not precisely because of running along the promenade after leaving the restaurant abruptly, but because of the strange emotion that had suddenly seized me when I discovered the feelings I had towards a certain Spanish who drove me mad.
Dammit, there are millions of people in this fucking world and I had fallen in love with the bastard of Antonio, that bore spendthrift of sympathy and good humor, idiot among idiots. How the hell had it happened? He is a MAN and I have NEVER been attracted to men.
However, Antonio was the first person who put up with me and accepted me despite of the way I am, considering me his friend (he was also the first one who I considered as such), he worried and was wrapped up in me, he had many details with me (like picking me up at work or treating me to eat) and, even though he always found the way to infuriate me, I can't deny that I had a lot of fun being with him. Fuck! With his fucking smiles and that kind and attentive behavior towards me he had managed to get, little by little, but full, into my heart.
Nevertheless, what did it matter that I had fallen in love with Antonio? He didn't love me back, he behaved the same way with everybody, I wasn't special for him, even if he made me feel that way. Moreover, the bastard had Emma, or he would have her when she confessed what she felt for him again, because I doubted that idiot didn't jump into her arms with joy when he knew it… where there was fire, ashes remained. Damn it, something inside me was contracting painfully with just thinking about it.
I had to do something to stop feeling like that, but what? The damn bastard Antonio would continue behaving the same with me, making me unable to banish this confused feeling, wanting to be more than his friend. Definitely, I had to get away from Antonio, it was the best I could do. I would deprive myself of seeing him, I'd avoid him as much as possible, at least until that feeling stopped and we could be again two simple friends as always.
But of course, avoiding the bastard wouldn't be an easy task, not only because he lived downstairs and our times to leave home coincided sometimes (I'd wait every morning to see him leave through the gate before leaving to class), but because he was such a bore and I knew he wouldn't leave me alone that easy.
On Monday, at the end of the afternoon, as it was usual most of the days when we had free time, the bastard showed up at home to look for me to go out. As soon as I heard the doorbell I knew it was him. Feliciano, who was in the living room watching TV, approached the door to open it, but I stopped him just in time to tell him to invent some kind of excuse for the bastard to leave.
"Vee~… but why, fratello?" he cocked his head. "Has something happened?"
"No, it's just that I don't want to see him."
"Are you angry with him?"
"No."
"So?"
"Stop with the questions and do what I'm telling you to do, idiot!" I started to get angry.
"Ve! And what do I tell him?"
"I don't know, make something up, don't be stupid."
I pushed Feliciano to open at last as I hid in the corridor, because knowing the bastard and the liberties he took, for sure that he would sneak into the living room and eventually find me. I listened carefully, expecting my idiot brother to do well what I had asked him.
"Hello, Lo…! Hello, Feli~!" the bastard greeted, it seemed that he was expecting that I welcomed him, as I always did. "I'm looking for Lovi, could you tell him to come out?"
Feliciano stared at him for several seconds, I guess he was trying to think of some excuse, I don't think his brain can work faster.
"Ciao, Antonio! My fratello… is not at home."
"He isn't here?" he asked with a trace of surprise in his voice. Is it so weird not to find me at home? Not that he was the only one who I went out with… okay, he was. "Where has he gone?"
"Veee~…" he was trying to think again, damn idiot. "Well… I don't know!"
"Don't you know? Didn't he tell you?"
That idiot Feliciano shook his head frantically, it was obvious that he was trying to hide something… or it would have been obvious for someone who wasn't as thick as two short planks, because the bastard kept on asking, which was what I wanted.
"And you didn't ask him?"
"Vee~… you know how my fratello is, he gets angry when you bombard him with questions."
Damn Feliciano, I don't do that! I don't get angry so easily, it's that I'm surrounded by idiots who don't know anything and make me get on my nerves. The bastard laughed.
"Yeah…" and on top of that the bastard agreed with that idiot I have as a brother. "Then I suppose that you won't know if he is coming back soon, will you?" Feliciano shook his head. Antonio sighed. "What a pity!"
"Do you want to leave him a message?"
"No, it's not necessary, just tell him I have been here."
The bastard's voice sounded sad, down, which made me feel really bad, but it was the best, I was convinced, it was necessary to get away from him.
Feliciano waved goodbye to Antonio, closed the door and came to me practically shouting if he had done well.
"Idiot, don't shout!" I scolded him trying not to yell. "Antonio may be close and listen to you."
"Vee~… Sorry, fratello."
Since the bastard didn't come back I guessed he didn't hear Feliciano asking me.
"Vee~… but, fratello, I don't understand it, if you aren't angry with Antonio, why don't you want to see him?"
"It's none of your business." I replied.
"Vee~…" Feliciano looked at me confused. "But, has something happened?"
"No."
"Sure? Because you are so weird since you came back from the restaurant last night."
"Don't say bullshit!" I yelled. "I'm the same as always!"
I locked myself in my room slamming the door, I expected that would put an end to Feliciano's annoying questions, the idiot seemed to suspect something, and he usually didn't get anything! I didn't want my brother to discover that he was right and that something really happened to me, so I had to avoid the topic of Antonio as much as possible.
However, I needed Feliciano's help again to get rid of the bastard the next day.
Just a few minutes ago I had finished rehearsing a new melody with the violin when I heard the doorbell, without a doubt it was Antonio, I confirmed it when I saw him through the peephole. Convincing myself (because I doubted a lot of my decision) that avoiding the bastard was the best, I went in search of my brother to deal with him.
Feliciano was pretty focused (which was quite an event worth mentioning) in a room painting something that seemed he was looking through the window of the patio, I don't know what, because as soon as I entered the room he jumped and hid the canvas the was painting (no doubt, in that aspect is the same as me when rehearsing, he doesn't want onlookers until everything is complete).
"Feliciano, go open the door" I held his arm and led him to the living room, "someone's waiting."
"Vee~… but, fratello, don't you come from there? Why didn't you open?"
"Because it's the bastard, you have to invent something for him to leave."
"Again?" he was starting with his questions. But why don't you want to see him?"
"That's my business, you only do what I have said."
"But, fratello, he may know you are here, possibly he has listened to you playing the violin through the patio."
"Well, try to make a good excuse for him to leave."
I released Feliciano, who didn't seem very happy with what I was asking him, in front of the main door and ran to hide in the corridor, just like the day before, from where I could perfectly listen to the conversation.
"Hello, Feli! And your brother? Could you tell him to come here?"
"Vee~… Veee~…" that idiot of Feliciano looked nervous and looked away from the bastard to me, as if he were asking me indications about what he should say next." My… my fratello… vee~… my fratello is not here."
"How's that? I have heard him playing violin just a moment ago."
Fuck! In the end, the idiot Feliciano was right, the bastard had listened to me and knew I was at home.
"Veee… yes, well… actually he is here…"
But what the hell was that stupid I have as brother saying? I asked him to cover me in front of the bastard inventing some excuse and, besides contradicting himself, the idiot betrayed me saying I was at home.
"Then tell him to come!" Antonio urged him.
"He can't!" Feliciano replied immediately, which surprised me a lot, although he looked pretty nervous. "He… he… he just went to bed!"
"So early?" the bastard's voice denoted disbelief.
"He wasn't feeling well!"
"Oh, so can I enter to see him? If he's sick maybe I can stay to help you out…"
"N-N-N-No!" he waved his arms so the bastard wouldn't enter. "My fratello has said he doesn't want anyone to bother him and you know how he is, ve! I don't want him to get angry!"
And before the bastard spoke again, Feliciano shut the door closed.
I was surprised by the speed with which my brother had been able to invent a new excuse, a proper one in addition, for Antonio to leave.
"Vee~… have I done it well today, fratello?" Feliciano asked with fear.
I smiled a bit and nodded. I didn't feel well at all for having managed to get the bastard out, despite being what I considered the best (or so I believed at least). I felt something inside me contracted and I had a painful lump in my throat that didn't let me talk.
"Vee~… fratello, what's wrong?" Feliciano looked at me worried. "You look bad…"
"I… am not… feeling well." I said with effort. "I'm going to lie down for a while. Tell me when the dinner is ready."
I lay on my bed thinking about the bastard and how difficult it was to stay away from him, ¡and only two days had passed! And although I wasn't going to admit it openly, I missed spending my time with that bore of Antonio, I had gotten used to his damn company.
The sound of my cell phone made me jump. I reached out and grabbed the phone from the bedside table, Antonio had just sent me a text message full of emoticons but without half of the letters that said: "Lovi, I know you're sick, so for you to recover soon I dedicate you a song. I hope you like it. Lovingly, Toño."
The soft music of the guitar came to my ears through the window. The lump in my throat became more painful and I couldn't help that some tears escaped from my eyes as I was listening to it and reread the message over and over again. I was dying for answering him, but I couldn't. Damn, why the hell did that idiot bastard of Antonio have to be so kind and considerate? That way I could never fall out of love with him.
I hardly slept that night thinking about the bastard. Luckily Feliciano has deep sleep and didn't notice the many times I woke up and took my phone to read Antonio's message again. Damn, I looked like a fifteen-year-old girl!
The worst thing was that the next day I continued with that stupid in my mind distracting me from everything, which didn't go unnoticed by my prissy teacher, who hit his modern baton (radio antenna) against the table catching my attention and forcing me to stop playing.
"Lovino, can I know where you are?" Roderich told me visibly angry crossing his arms.
"Where I am? What the fuck is that question? Have you become more myopic and you don't see me?"
"Language!" he scolded me hitting the antenna against the table again. "I warn you, I won't tolerate any more insolence!" he threatened me with his antenna. I swallowed a bit scared and nodded. "Now speak, why are you so distracted?"
Roderich's inquisitive gaze made me nervous and I couldn't find the words to answer him. I didn't want to talk about what I felt for the bastard.
"I… umm…" my professor waited for my answer impatiently. "Well, it's just… how do you… forget someone?" The Austrian frowned. "I guess you… you know, don't you?"
"And why should I know about that?" he said calmly although he looked angry.
"Well… you were Elizaveta's boyfriend," he frowned deeply and snorted, "but not now and… I guess you'll know what to do to…" I scratched my head because I wasn't sure how to continue "… to forget someone or… or at least to stop caring about what that person does and with whom…"
"What kind of vulgarities are you insinuating?!" he shouted indignant and hysterical, whipping the table again, I got scared to see him like that.
"I…"
"ENOUGH!" a new blow. "Stay quiet! I don't want to listen to you again until we finish the class. Take the violin and continue where we left off. And you better not get distracted again, idiot."
I just nodded and obeyed him. I don't understand why he got so angry when he was the first to ask. And of course, it couldn't be otherwise, the damned Austrian punished me by forcing me to stay playing half an hour more for wasting time with nonsense.
The worst of Roderich's punishment wasn't the extra time playing or how hungry I was, but when I returned home the bastard would have come back from work and I could meet him. And indeed it was. Although I went through his landing on tiptoe so he wouldn't hear me, he left his apartment when I was at the end of the penultimate flight of stairs.
"Lovi!"
I turned when I heard my name. I couldn't describe the emotion I felt when I saw Antonio's emerald eyes, but I had to get away from him, so I ran up the stairs and locked myself in my house. The bastard followed me and knocked the door several times while calling my name, his voice sounded concerned. Why did he make things so difficult?
"Vee~… fratello, what happens?" Feliciano approached the entrance alarmed by the noise.
"Nothing!" I grabbed his arm and took him to the kitchen. "A vacuum cleaner seller has sneaked into the building, don't listen to him."
Luckily Feliciano was in one of his moments of little lucidity and believed me, I hadn't stood a new interrogation on his part about what was happening to me with the bastard.
The knocks on the door stopped. I sighed in relief, Feliciano noticed the gesture and stared at me inquisitively, but didn't say anything. He served lunch and sat at the table next to me to eat.
"Vee~… fratello, why did you arrive so late today? Have you misbehaved again and been punished by your teacher?"
"Who the hell are you taking me for?" I replied annoyed. "I didn't 'misbehave', I'm not a kid. Besides, to that Austrian idiot any nonsense seems like a good reason to force me to play for a while longer. He's annoying to the greatest extent, you can tell he's half German."
"German are not annoying, fratello."
"Your opinion is not valid, you spend all the time fluttering around that giant potato bastard."
"He's my friend!" he said seriously and then smiled again. "Oh, he invited me to go to the cinema tonight, do you want to come, fratello?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" he cringed on his chair. "I'm not going anywhere with that macho potato, no way!
I got up and locked in my room.
Feliciano and I didn't talk in the whole afternoon until the moment to leave reached, when he told me he was leaving and asked me again if I wanted to go with him. It wasn't necessary to answer him, my glare said everything and he, luckily, understood it perfectly.
I stayed on the sofa watching TV without really watching anything. I was thinking about the bastard again, about how I had run away from him and had ignored him at midday, and about how much I missed spending my time with him…
Somebody cut my thoughts knocking on the door, it was that bore of Antonio! It seemed he could read my mind, how convenient! I buried my head under the cushions of the sofa, covering myself with them so not to hear the knock on the door or the ringing. I don't know how long he spent on the landing, but it felt like an eternity. Then he decided to phone me, once, twice, and before a third one, I turned the cell off, it was getting on my nerves. And it was also increasing my desire to open the door and tell him that he was a bore and being with him.
Finally, he stopped insisting.
From the window of the living room I was looking at the patio and the gate of the building. Emma and the bastard were walking fast to the entrance, very close to each other, and by the gestures she was doing, I'd say she was scolding him for his delay, because they were late to leave for work. I wondered if she would have already confessed her feelings for him, the pressure in my stomach and the lump in my throat became stronger.
I waited a couple of minutes before leaving for class to avoid a possible encounter with the bastard in the street, after all I was already late. Of course, for a certain Austrian that represented a disrespect almost as offensive as an insult.
"Lovino" Roderich greeted me, tapping the tip of his antenna against his hand in a clearly threatening gesture, "don't you know the concept of punctuality?"
"It's just that… when I was on my way, I had a little problem and had to come back home… and there are three floors and…"
"Enough!" he interrupted me. "Stop with that poor excuses and come closer." He pulled out a chair from under the table and placed on it a bundle of white sheets. "You know what this means, don't you?"
As if I couldn't know: punished for an hour writing over and over again a bland phrase "I must arrive on time to Mr. Edelstein's classes" while my teacher was playing a piece of music on the piano, showing his discontent, and at the end of the class we'd recover that lost hour.
"Well, Lovino, stop writing." Roderich said to me after an exact hour. "I have a proposal for you."
I raised an eyebrow, curious. The Austrian handed me several scores.
"Despite you have had your head in the clouds practically the whole week, who knows why, you are one of my most advantaged students and for that I want to reward you." That… was a compliment? "I always reward my best students by allowing them to participate with me in a recital I give every year by the end of the summer, so I'm suggesting to you that you accompany me on the violin with that songs I have given you. What do you say?"
I was excited. Roderich had praised me and offered me the opportunity to participate in a recital, although my memories of the latter weren't pleasant due to the absence of my parents. I accepted without thinking. The bastard would be flabbergasted when I told him the news, or he would jump over me to hug me and congratulate me, or… shit, what a disappointment, I couldn't tell him.
Thursday evening didn't start well. I was lectured by my boss because of having left without any explanation on Sunday night after breaking a pile of dishes. After half an hour of lecture I could start working.
As if the damn fate were laughing at me, while I was going to serve a table, I saw the bastard sat next to Emma at one of the tables on the terrace. My stomach clenched painfully. Damn, with the amount of restaurants in the city, why the hell had they chosen my grandfather's for dinner?
I tried not to pay attention to the couple, but a part of my brain forced me look at them both every time I passed by the door, until suddenly my gaze crossed for a few seconds with Antonio's, I got really nervous.
I shook my head and continued with my work, that was serving customers, specifically four girls of my age that… were devouring me with their eyes. As the good Italian I am, I served them with my most charming smile and praised them with the best compliments I could say to four beautiful girls like them.
After finishing taking the orders of the girls, the bastard caught me off guard and grabbed my arm. I struggled cunningly for him to let me go, but the bastard was very strong.
"Lovi, please, we need to talk." He said whispering.
"Don't you realize I'm working, bastard?" I kept on struggling unsuccessfully. "Leave me alone, you idiot, I don't have time for your nonsense."
"It's not nonsense!"
"I don't care." I lied. "I'm not interested!"
I struggled again and elbowed him in the stomach so he let me go. I ran away to the kitchen, praying for him not to come after me, although deep in my heart I wished he did. He didn't do it. In fact, when I went out the kitchen after a while, he and Emma had left the restaurant.
From then on, the evening became quiet, or at least I felt relieved that I couldn't see the lovebirds showing their love in my face practically, although the pinching in my stomach didn't go away and I kept wondering what those two would be doing to have left so all of a sudden… I didn't even want to think about it!
The vibration of my cell phone in my pocket suddenly moved away the horrible image I had in my head. I looked at the phone, it was a message from Feliciano telling me that he would spend the night at the potato bastard's house. I sighed and put the cell in my pocket again. But, that meant that I would spend alone the night! I took my phone out again, called my idiot brother and warned him not to go to the German's house and wait for me at home until I arrived.
It didn't take me long to leave the restaurant and get on the bus. The tulip was sitting in the back, I sat in the front seats, although it took him a short time to get close to me with his sour face. He sat next to me to annoy me, but I wasn't in the mood to go on the attack.
"Explain me what you find funny when a guy like me has a pet rabbit."
Well, it seems that the conversation I had with his sister and the bastard the previous Sunday –how far it seemed to me that day– had reached his ears.
"I suppose that is seeing a guy as big and sinister as you squeezing a defenseless small animal in his arms and caressing it with his chin while saying how soft it is." I answered as I looked out the window. "It doesn't suit you."
"It'd be better if we don't talk about what suits each one."
"It'd be better if we don't talk at all."
In the reflection of the window, I could see that the tulip was staring at me with a frown, besides I felt his eyes fixed in the back of my neck.
"Something happens to you." He commented with his usual indifferent tone.
"None of your business."
"So I'm right, something happens to you."
"None of your business."
"You aren't being funny."
"And I don't want to be, I'm not a fucking performing monkey." I didn't want to go on the attack, but he was bothering me, so I turned to him and held his gaze. "If you want to laugh at someone, look at you in the mirror when you are as high as you were the other day."
"I'm happy to see a spoiled and cheeky brat sulking for any nonsense like a five-year-old kid."
I turned my face to the window again, I puffed my cheeks up and bit my tongue, and I wouldn't give that damn tulip the pleasure of answering him.
I got home pissed and to top it all I found the unpleasant surprise of finding everything off and quiet, which meant that Feliciano had disobeyed me and had left to the potato bastard's house, as I could translate from the note he left on the dining room's table. My anger increased.
Just taking the keys, I went down to the first floor and pounded the door of the potato lover's apartment. I was received by the egocentric albino, who was completely disconcerted, but I was more confused when I saw a yellow chick chirping among his silvery hairs (being a featherbrained wasn't a set phrase in his case). I ignored the bird's presence and focused on what I had gone to do.
"Where the hell is my idiot brother? Tell him to come."
"Feli is here?"
"Don't play dumb!" I said. "FELICIANO! Come out now, asshole!"
I pushed Gilbert aside and sneaked inside screaming my brother's name as I opened all the door I saw in my way. The macho potato came out in a shirt and pants with a sleepy face.
"What happens?"
"Tell that idiot Feliciano to come out!"
"He's asleep." He said calmly.
"WHERE?!"
I didn't wait for his answer, I went through the door for which the muscular potato had appeared. He came after me. I found my idiot brother there. He was sleeping peacefully, wearing only his underpants (Doesn't he have a little bit of shyness?), with drool falling from the corner of his mouth. He hadn't even heard my yells.
I shook Feliciano while yelling his name. The potato bastard tried to grab me from behind unsuccessfully, trying to stop me, but I managed to wake my brother up. I held him tightly by the arm and dragged him to the landing, despite his complains, calls for help to the potato bastard, who didn't know how to act, and his attempts to free himself.
"VE!" he cried, making efforts to get free from my grip. "Fratello, let go."
"I told you very clearly on the phone that I wanted you at home when I returned, you should have obeyed me!"
"Come on, lad, don't be like that. Let Feli spend the night here, he'll be okay."
"SHUT UP, BIRD LOVER!
Feliciano managed to get free and ran to take refuge behind the potato bastard. I made the attempt to grab him again, but the albino stopped me by grabbing me by the waist.
"Could you say what you are playing at this hour?" the Frenchy went out his apartment because of the noise, he looked me up and down, smiled sideways and approached my position. "Can I join you?"
"Toño kills you if he finds out." The albino murmured.
"Let go of me, you damn potato bastard of the devil!" I shouted to the idiot who was holding me and I elbowed him twice, but he didn't give in. "And you stay away from me, pervert! Feliciano, listen to me right now and let's go home!"
"NO!"
"What is this row?" Eli appeared with her frying pan in her hand.
"Don't you have anything better to do during the damn night than kicking up a row, you bunch of drunkards?" the tulip and his sour face appeared by the stairs, although the gesture of his face became one of total confusion when he arrived at the landing. "What the fuck is going on here?"
Great, the one who was missing.
No, actually the ones who were missing were Emma and the bastard. I stopped struggling for some seconds when I realized that detail that made me feel as if a sharp stake was stuck in my heart.
The macho albino relaxed his grip and, all of a sudden, I rushed forward over Feliciano. I grabbed him by his wrist and pulled him from behind the German.
"I said we're going home, LISTEN TO ME!"
"AND I HAVE SAID YOU NOT!"
"AH!"
The Hungarian hit my head with her frying pan, making me release my brother managing the albino to immobilize me. I struggled without success.
"I'm old enough to have to obey you!" Feliciano spat, showing an unusual boldness in him, although the tears were filling his eyes. "I rather stay at Ludwig's house than go with you!"
Silence filled the atmosphere. The expectant glances of everybody focused on me, but I was in shock, I simply breathed slowly as the rage and pain that Feliciano's words caused piled up inside me.
"You don't know how much I hate you."
I got rid of the albino's arms and ran up the stairs.
I was too agitated by everything that happened that night, which was a lot. I began to release all the rage that was inside me by slamming the door shut and locking up, I left the key in the lock, so Feliciano couldn't enter. I went through the house kicking the walls and throwing everything that was at hand, the more noise it made when hitting the floor better.
I arrived at the room where idiot Feliciano painted, it was full of fragile canvases and paints and… a painting without finishing on the easel, a painting in which a window had been painted and behind it the potato bastard was sitting while reading a book. In fact, from where I was I could see that same window and Feliciano curled up in the same couch where he had painted the macho potato who, by the way, was approaching him with a cup in his hand, he caressed his head and… Feliciano threw himself over him and gave him… a kiss on the lips.
Oh, God!
I dropped the painting in my hands because of the surprise. So that was the reason why that idiot of Feliciano had preferred to stay with the potato bastard instead of keeping me company. That's why he always defended him.
I went back into the living room and let my rage finished releasing by hitting a cushion while the tears that were filling my eyes slid down my face, my pride wasn't able to hold them any longer. I felt betrayed and lonely, very lonely, and on top of that I had drifted apart of the only idiot who put up with me. I turned on the TV just to hear some noise and lay face down on the couch until I fell asleep.
The doorbell woke me up the next morning. I was in my bed (I went to my room in the middle of the night) and it was over noon. Great, I had missed the violin class, Roderich would be furious with me. I walked towards the door avoiding the objects scattered on the floor, as a result of my anger the night before, and looked who was on the other side by the peephole. It was Feliciano. He tried to put the key on the lock uselessly, mine was on the other side. He rang the doorbell several more times and also knocked on the door.
"Vee~… fratello" he said in a pitiful voice, "let me in, please."
"Noooo." I said. "Now get away with the nasty potato bastard who you love so much,"
"B-But, fratello," he sobbed, "per favore…"
"Shut your trap, GET LOST!"
I heard him crying on the other side of the door, but this time he wouldn't get me to succumb to his emotional blackmail I was too angry with him to give in. I'd make him pay for leaving me aside in favor of the potato bastard.
"Vee… fratello…" he cried while pounding the door. "Vee… vee…"
"Lovino!" that was Roderich's voice. "Lovino Vargas! Irresponsible idiot, could I know why…? You are not Lovino."
That idiot Roderich had appeared on the landing and mistake my brother for me.
"I… am Feliciano, vee…" he whined. "My fratello is… inside…" as well as a traitor, sneak. He knocked on the door again. "Vee… fratello, open…"
"Lovino!" Roderich also knocked on the door. "Open right now, idiot, I have to talk to you seriously." He knocked impatiently. "Lovino, you know perfectly well that I don't like to waste my time, so open up right now!"
Roderich and Feliciano spent a while knocking on the door and repeating the same. Obviously, I didn't open the door. Finally they stopped and left.
"What the hell are you doing here, you damn prissy aristocrat?!" I heard Gilbert shouting in the patio.
I looked out of the window. Gilbert was grabbing my teacher by the collar of his shirt and they seemed involved in a heated argument. Eli went out from her house in a moment with her frying pan in her hand, he approached the two idiots who were arguing and hit the albino, the blow stunned him. Then, she greeted her ex-boyfriend and both of them carried the albino (she picked him up by the torso and Roderich grabbed his feet) to the Hungarian's house. Everything became quiet.
But that tranquility wouldn't last long for me, because Feliciano returned to the attack several times: before and after meal, in the middle of nap time and at afternoon snack's time. And on every occasion he tried in vain to unlock the door and, as he couldn't, he begged me to let him in. But I didn't give in, I was lying on the couch covering my ears so I wouldn't listen until he got tired and left.
Shortly after Feliciano's last assault, the phone rang.
"Feli~, my darling~!"
It was my mother's voice. Hell, I didn't remember when it was the last time we talked, but, as usual, it wasn't with me who she wanted to talk to.
"MEC!" I imitated a horn. "Sorry, mother, wrong son."
"Ah, Lovino, it's you." She said disappointed. "Come on, put me on to your brother."
"He is not here."
"How's that? Has he gone out without you? You know you mustn't leave your brother alone, he's very innocent and doesn't know how to manage alone, what if something happens to him?" so much worry about Feliciano was pissing me off. "At least you know where he is, don't you?"
"Probably he will be being sodomized by the German hulk he has gotten as a boyfriend!" I shouted very angry. "So if you want to talk to him, call him on his fucking phone, because I'm not his damn babysitter!"
I hung up the phone with fury. The only thing I needed to end up feeling completely useless was my mother scolding me and showing her clear preference for Feliciano.
It didn't take long for the phone to ring again. I don't even know why I picked it up.
"Pronto!"
"Hello, Lovino! What a joy to hear you!" it was my grandpa, he should be the only person who was happy to hear me. "How are you? How is everything?"
"Fi-Fine." I lied.
"Sure? Then, can you tell me why your mother has just call me furious, complaining that you aren't taking care of Feliciano?"
"Be-Because she is like that." I didn't want to talk about my mother and much less about idiot Feliciano, I had to change the subject. "W-When are you coming back?"
"Oh, Lovino, are you telling that you miss me?"
"Of course not, why the hell would I miss an annoying old man who doesn't stop forcing me to do things I don't want to do?" my voice trembled, I really missed him, but I wouldn't admit it out loud. He laughed and kept quiet for some seconds.
"What happens, Lovino?" I don't hear you well."
"This is the telephone at home, maybe you are breaking up."
"No, I mean that you don't seem well. What happens to you?" How on earth did he realize? The old man is very perceptive.
"No-Nothing." My voice trembled again.
"Lovino, don't lie to me. I know you pretty well and I know something happens to you, what is it?"
"Nothing!" I didn't want to worry my grandfather and I didn't feel like telling him everything that happened to me, so I quickly though about a good excuse. "It's that I'm late for work! I h-have to go now, I have been told that the restaurant's owner is scary when he's angry."
"Who has said that?" he replied offended. "I'm not scary!"
"Ciao, nonno."
I hung up before he could answer me.
Contrary to what I told my grandpa I wasn't going to the restaurant, it was already quite late and I wasn't in the mood to serve anybody. I needed to be in a peaceful place where I could try to forget everything for a while and think. The beach.
Unfortunately, as I was going down the stairs I found the bastard hugging Emma at the door of her house, it was very painful to see them like that. I said a brief "good afternoon" when I passed beside them and ran to the street, where I slowed down a bit. I thought I heard bastard's voice that was calling me and ran again to lose him. Done.
There was hardly anybody on the beach. I sat on the warm sand, looking at the sea, contemplating how the sun sank into the waters. And I sank deep in my own thoughts, in how painful was to see the bastard hugging Emma, why didn't I manage to fall out of love with him? On the contrary, I felt I need him more than anything in the world. Fuck! In Italy this would have never happened to me, of course there was no one there who cared about me to develop any kind of special bond.
Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and sat next to me, smiling. It was Antonio.
"This time I won't let you escape."
I was paralyzed, the bastard was right there, next to me, holding me so I couldn't run away.
"L-Let go of me, you bastard!" I managed to say after a moment.
"No."
I sighed resignedly and looked away from his eyes, there really was no point in running away from him… and I didn't want to do it either.
"What did you come for, idiot?"
"Isn't it obvious? To look for you. I needed to talk to you."
"Well, talk."
"Lovi, I'm really sorry, please, excuse me." He sighed and released me. "I'm really a clueless idiot and I have no idea of what I have done wrong, but I want to fix it. I can't bear that you're still angry with me."
"I'm not angry with you, bastard. Who the fuck told you that?
"Oh… so aren't you?" he was surprised. "Then why were you avoiding me?"
"For nothing."
"For nothing? I guess that I'll have done something."
"Yes, being you." I murmured as I hid my blushing face behind my knees. The bastard didn't hear me.
"Aren't you going to tell me?"
"No." I answered. He pouted.
"Come ooooon." He shook me softly, he was getting on my nerves. "Pretty please, tell me~…"
"AAAGH! Stop!" he obeyed, but he kept on pouting and looking at me with his imploring eyes. I hugged my legs and hid my face more. "I was avoiding you because I thought I had to do it… but I was wrong."
I couldn't tell him I had fallen in love with him, I would have died of embarrassment and fear, because it was impossible that Antonio loved me back and I felt unable to bear his rejection.
"But, why…?"
"That's my business!" I cut in. "Stop with this subject, I was wrong and that's it! Okay?"
"Okay, okay." He answered nervously. "If I haven't done anything, better!"
He smiled as usual, although I got the impression that there was something strange in it, as if Antonio were hiding something.
"Hey, Lovi, aren't you supposed to be working at this time?"
"I'm supposed to."
"That's wrong! This morning you also skipped your classes with Roderich, you mustn't fail in your obligations like that," he scolded me, "as your grandfather knows, he will give you a good spanking."
"Don't say bullshit, my grandfather won't do anything to me."
"No? Well then I will."
He grabbed me suddenly and threw me face down on his lap. Fuck, what a humiliating position, I felt my face burn in shame.
"What the fuck are you doing, bastard?!"
Obviously the bastard didn't spank me, he began to pat me on the ass. The bastard had all the nerve to be touching my butt as he pleased, he was taking advantage of me!
The damn bastard stopped his little scene, resting his hand on MY ass (he was groping me! Living with that perverted French had to leave him some sequel), and I heard a choked sob. I turned surprised to look at him.
"Antonio, what…?"
I could barely see the bastard's face for a few seconds because he suddenly threw himself on me, holding me and lifting my torso, putting his head on my shoulder and I put mine on his, and he held me tightly in his arms as he dissolved into tears. I didn't understand what was happening to him, but my heart accelerated.
"I missed you so much, Lovi." He sobbed. "Don't ever drift apart from me like this again, please."
He hugged me tighter. I clung to his T-shirt and clenched my fists against his back, it shocked me to discover that drifting apart from him had affected him so much. I got a lump in my throat and I couldn't help that some tears escaped from my eyes. I had missed him too.
I dried my tears cunningly and moved away a bit from Antonio. We stared at each other intensely for some seconds. I blushed and we began to approach our faces slowly until his salty lips met mine in a kiss.