Chapter 11: The Flatland Fantasy

Amy is surprised by Sheldon's passionate kiss. He stares into her comforting eyes as he holds her in his arms close for a few more seconds not sure what to say or do next. Amy is so turned on by his kiss she doesn't want to wait any longer to be with him.

She takes a couple of deep breathes to calm down her quickening heart rate. Then Amy looks at their giggling students.

Amy: "Okay everyone ...uh I propose we take a recess! Make sure to study all your notes and um….we'll do the quiz after lunch. Class dismissed!"

Amy smiles then she grabs her school supplies and Sheldon's hand. She pulls him towards their cabin ready to have her way with him. Their students are stunned at first to see them rush off so fast, but the kids soon realize they are finally free to do whatever they want. Several of them head to the Yosemite main lodge to hang out for awhile. But, Anton goes back to his cabin instead to sulk and to study up for the quiz.

As Amy pulls Sheldon away from the picnic towards the forest he starts to get nervous that she may be dragging him into the scary woods.

Sheldon: "Wait! Amy! Where are you taking me?"

Amy: "I want you now Sheldon Cooper!"

Sheldon: "For what?"

Amy: "My loins are inflaming as we speak. I want you to make love to me!"

Sheldon fears he has made a very terrible error in judgment and he is not use to making mistakes. He was only trying to prove to her that he could win her little "Game" But, he didn't realize that kissing her would lead to coitus too. He pulls his hand away from her and stops dead in his tracks.

Sheldon: "No, stop…uh we can't do that!"

Amy sighs in sexual frustration and frowns at him.

Amy: "Why not?"

Sheldon darts his eyes around nervously trying to come up with a reasonable escape.

Sheldon: "Because….uh because…I have a headache."

Amy frowns at him then coyly smiles.

Amy: "That's alright, I know how to fix that. Let's go!"

Sheldon: "No Amy! I need to find my stuff first. You said you would help me look remember!"

Amy: "I know where all of your stuff is Anton just told me."

A smile finally appears on Sheldon's face when he hears this news.

Sheldon: "Really! Where?"

Amy folds her arms across her chest. She doesn't say a word and he stares at her growing more and more anxious for an answer.

Sheldon: "Well?"

Amy: "Nope! I'm not going to tell you. Not until you agree to come back to the cabin, rip off all my clothes and ride me like a real Texas cowboy should. YEEHAW!"

Amy swings her arm around above her head like she's holding a riding crop. Sheldon mouth gaps open in shock. He can't understand why she is acting this way.

Sheldon: "But…but that's blackmail!"

A lecherous looking smile appears on her face as she nods back at him.

Amy: "You got that right! I'm horny and it's all your fault for being so sexy! So what are you going to do about it?"

Sheldon: "Well...I…I!"

He stares into her eyes feeling totally stymied by her desire for him. Sheldon realizes his girlfriend is behaving just like a sexy super villain. This new revelation turns him on and terrifies him all at the same time. He's always been attracted to comic book villains so he immediately pictures Amy standing there wearing a tight black leather Catwoman costume. This sexy image of her makes his body heat up with arousal. But, Sheldon doesn't feel like the Batman to her Catwoman instead he feels like a mouse about to be eaten up by her.

Amy taps her foot impatiently waiting for his answer. She knows this is wrong of her and under normal circumstances she would not be so aggressive with him, but Amy just can't help herself anymore.

Amy: "So are we going to do this or what?"

He sighs nervously and shuffles his feet as he looks down at the ground then Sheldon looks back up at her.

Sheldon: "Fine, you give me no choice."

Amy grins at him delighted he's finally given in. She takes his hand again. Once they are back inside the cabin, she quickly begins to unbutton her flabby brown cardigan.

Sheldon walks over to a small corner of the room and removes his shoes. He neatly places them under his bed as he sits down on it. Then he sighs loudly like an anxious wounded animal does right before it is about to be devoured by a Tigress.

Amy frowns as she stares at his forlorn looking face. She stops undressing herself and goes to sit down on his bed next to him.

Amy: "Forget it! I don't know what came over me. Sheldon, I'm sorry. I don't want our first time to be because of blackmail. You obviously don't want to do this I can see it in your eyes. You're stuff is in the dumpster behind the main lodge. I'll go get it okay."

She stands up sadly ready to leave the cabin and get his stolen goods out of the dumpster, but Sheldon takes hold of her wrist with one hand. He watches her nervously for a moment his mouth is dry and his palm are sweating, but he speaks up before she can let go.

Sheldon: "No, you're wrong Amy I…I think maybe…uh…I do want this. It's just….I"

He pauses too afraid to tell her the truth about his feelings. Amy stares back at Sheldon then she sits back down on the bed to comfort him.

Amy: "Sheldon, I understand you're intimidated by my rampant sexuality and really who can blame you. I'm the perfect combination of virgin and vixen. But, you've got to know that I would never try to hurt you. When we kiss or touch I love it! I can't help that, I just do. I don't feel afraid or weird when I'm with you. I feel good, I feel normal and that makes me want sex. But, if the thought of coitus gives you a headache and makes you sad then well I'm not about to make things even worse between us."

Sheldon: "I'm not sad! Stupid people make me sad and you're not one of them. You're brilliant Amy Farrah Fowler. Maybe you're too brilliant for your own good. I don't even know what to do with you at times. You confuse me and I don't like to be confused. I mean how can a highly evolved being like me satisfy your primal sexual appetite? At least give me some guidelines so I know how to proceed?"

Amy: "Well I've never done this before either Sheldon. But, didn't you read that book Penny and Leonard gave you?"

Sheldon nods at her, but then he wrinkles up his face at the thought of that sex book.

Sheldon: "Yes, but it gave me the most awful nightmares! I haven't had nightmares that bad since I was a teenager."

Amy: "Wait. What nightmares?"

Sheldon: "After reading that book I remember dreaming of Flatland only there was none of the usual perfect geometric order instead it was just pure chaos and bacchanal. The circles were engorged intersecting with long, thick line segments and moaning in unison with them. Bongos were playing loudly in the background. Then came the monkeys!

Amy: "Monkeys?"

Sheldon nods as he reminisces about it all.

Sheldon: "The horizontal lines and circles morphed into monkeys for the first time ever in all the years I've visited Flatland. They were beating their chests, howling at one another then the monkeys started masturbating and probing. It was like something you'd see on wild animal kingdom. When the monkeys finally stopped masturbating, they broke out of their cages and quickly evolved into human beings."

Amy watches him bewildered by his strange fantasy. Sheldon raises his hand out in the air outstretched as he recalls what happened.

Sheldon: "The humans started having coitus right in the cockpit of the Starship Enterprise. Dandruff particles were flying everywhere to the point that Spock had to cover his eyes. I woke up immediately after that. But, I couldn't sleep right for days the nightmare just kept on occurring over and over. Cold showers right before bed were the only thing that finally made the nightmares go away. I woke up sweating and feeling feverish every night for a week. My genital area was throbbing in pain. Twice my bed got wet and I swear to you Amy I haven't wet the bed in years not since I stopped experimenting with anal suppositories. So I'm not reading that book again, not ever."

Amy looks back at Sheldon befuddled then she finally cracks up laughing. Sheldon stares at her confused by why she would think this was funny at all.

Amy: "Sheldon, you do know those weren't nightmares you were having right?"

Sheldon: "Well what else could they be?"

Amy: "You had nocturnal emissions a natural biological occurrence that causes an increase in semen production within the male sex organ through the elevation of testosterone and dehydroepiandrosterone. Most people refer to them as wet dreams."

Sheldon: "But, it was still that stupid book that caused it I tell you not me!"

Amy: "Yes, well the book may have been the proximal cause, but we both know it only exists in contradistinction to the higher level distal cause."

Sheldon: "Which is?"

Amy: "Sometimes, even the great Sheldon Cooper can think with his penis."

He frowns at her feeling mostly embarrassed by this.

Sheldon: "Well all I know is I had to throw away my favorite pair of Batman sheets after it was over. I loved those sheets!"

He pouts sadly as he thinks about his sheets.

Amy: "Sheldon, can I ask you something?"

Sheldon: "What?"

Amy: "Were the monkeys that turned into people in your dream you and me?"

Sheldon blushes as he looks away too embarrassed to answer her question which immediately lets her know the answer is really "Yes" so she simply smiles back.

Amy: "I'm glad you have dreams about us it means at least on a subconscious level you want to be with me, but your conscious mind keeps holding you back. You are far too preoccupied with achieving perfection right away."

He scoffs at her.

Sheldon: "Of course I am! I always strive to be the best in everything I do and I succeed. I don't let primal urges get in my way like most inferior people do. I mean look at Penny and Leonard for example those two are always having coitus and you've seen how dumb they act. Those who constantly deplete themselves of energy and bodily fluids for carnal gain have less energy to engage the superior colliculus of their brains. I can't lose my brain Amy; it makes me who I am."

Amy: "True, but you know there are several biological studies that show those who have regular enjoyable sexual intercourse have increases in brain activity and brain functioning. Also, think about all the extra endorphins you'll get from coitus. Those endorphins will boost your energy and make you feel you better."

Sheldon thinks about that for a bit then he finally smiles a little.

Sheldon: "Well I do love endorphins."

Amy: "Of course you do! Who doesn't? Endorphins are great! But, seriously Sheldon you're a scientist and human experimentation is part of why we both love science correct?"

Sheldon nods in agreement with that.

Amy: "Then just think of it as my new experiment. You already agreed to be my guinea pig. So I want to conduct a new trial and error experiment to see what satisfies us sexually and what doesn't."

Sheldon: "Question…in this experiment could I be a white mouse instead of a guinea pig? The brain chemistry of white mice is more similar to humans than guinea pigs."

Amy: "Okay, sure you can be my lab mouse."

Sheldon: "But, Amy I wasn't kidding before I really do have a headache. I was outside too long. I don't like too much fresh air."

Amy: "Then stay here and take a nap. I'll go get your stuff out of the dumpster. Think about what I said and how to make this experiment work. Who knows the right way to start things off might just come to you in another dream.

Amy winks at Sheldon then she stands up and kisses his cheek softly before picking up one of Sheldon's clean vacuum sealable bags to collect his things in. She leaves the cabin to go dumpster diving.

Sheldon lays his head back on the bed thinking about her proposal for a new experiment at first, but soon his mind drifts back to thoughts of them together in Flatland as he falls alseep.

Note: I am going to finish up this story soon so I hope you all enjoy this chapter and please leave feedback. Thanks for reading.