The Story of Spammers

Day Fifteen :

We decided to stay in Veilstone City for another day. Why ? Things were somehow weird at the casino.

Of course, we didn't go there right away. The annoying tall man that had a Southern accent, otherwise known as Chris Vengerfinger, was playing at the slots. (And we were all afraid that he might have forgotten taking his happy pills and was now on a horrible, horrible rampage.)

So, we started to tour around Veilstone City. It was kind of like Pewter City - all gray and square. The department store had those spikes on the sides of the walls. There were gray umbrella tables with red and white umbrellas near some of the restaurants. We didn't see Maylene around her gym ('cause...I think she had the flu or somethin' like that.) Her dad was at the casino (as usual), and her mom was somewhere in Saffron pursuing an acting/coordinating career. Paul was not at his house at the time. Instead, we faced an even horrible person.

Paul's overnice annoying older brother (and crappy trainer/breeder), Reiji.

" Hi, Axletia ! Hi, everyone ! It's soooo nice to see you again ! "

T.T (Emerald) " We don't even know you, noob. "

Reiji scratched his head. " Well, I'm Reiji ! My little emo brother is Paul ! He seems so stupid somet- "

BITE !

" Hey, never call my bitch of an emo kid stupid ! " Darky-rai hissed. " He's my lover ! "

O.o " What the f--k are you ?! "

. " Oops. I'm still hung from last night. "

" AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH ! "

Reiji started to run far away. GoldenEye did a Level Seven magnitude on the annoying person. He fell into the Pit of Doom.

Meanwhile, Ange was badgering Mackenzie over Maxie.

" So...how long have you liked Maxie, Mackenzie ? " Ange asked.

" Since...I was in my ma's tummy. "

" How could you like Maxie since you were a baby ? " SilverUmbra inquired. " Were you psychic ? "

" Not really. My first image was a man with hot red hair and cold, cold eyes. Which...was Maxie ! I was born in Lavaridge Town, just like Maxie ! "

Ange scratched her head. " Really ? "

Mackenzie nodded. " Mm-hm ! I even shook his hand when I got a Torkoal as my starter ! It was sweaty...and smelled like hot corn chips ! "

GoldenEye looked insulted. Me, though, added some more info. " How could you like fire types so much ? The only fire types I like are Torchic, Torkoal, Charizard, and Ninetails ! Water is so much better ! I went to an expo in Dewford Town, where Archie lives. Water is cool - not my favorite type (which is between water, ice, dragon, and psychic) - but it pwns fire ! "

The red headed girl looked utterly insulted. " Water does not pwn fire ! Fire is the best type ! "

" Then...why does Professor Rowan have no fire pokemon ? "

" 'Cause Professor Rowan is a stupid bastard. "

" True. I still think water pokemon are better, though. "

" They are not ! " Mackenzie countered.

" They are too ! "

" They are not ! "

" Too ! "

" Not ! "

Chaos butted in. " Um, electric pokemon pwn all ! I can kick your water pokemon's ass, Axletia ! Since I am a Luxray, after all ! "

-.- " Who asked you, Chaos ? I like Shinx and Luxray, but there's a quote I go by - shut the hell up. "

THUNDERSHOCK !

She shocked both me and Mackenzie. Cj sweatdropped and turned to ShadowKing. " Uh, does this happen all the time ? "

" Probably. "

(around 3 : 00 p.m.)

Blaze was fiddling with his capture device. Ganon was trying to watch a auto show on Kotor. Kat, Kagura, Kura, Chaos, and Rob were playing blackjack.

We were at a hotel. Not that crappy hotel south of Veilstone. No, we were in a moderately-priced hotel called the Holiday Inn. Food was free, soap that wasn't meant to be stolen was in the bathroom (to steal, of course). The only bad thing was that our manager of the hotel was...none other than hillbilly racist who seemed to hate all people from the Orange Islands. , Chris Vengerfinger.

" Hey, everyone ! " Chris exclaimed. " I'm so glad you guys heped me out with that person who killed my pa ! I here jus' became the hotel's manager only a couple of days ago ! I never been to the city before ! What are those things with those wheels again ? "

" A car ? ... " SilverUmbra trailed off.

" Oh, yeah ! A car ! I do believe that was the first time I here saw saw a car in muh life ! "

O.o (GoldenEye) " Whoa. That's kinda creepy..."

" And then later I saw one of those phone thingies ! "

Ange gasped. " Whoa ! You really are technoilliterate ! "

Emerald giggled. " Can we start making fun of the stupid guy now ? "

Mackenzie, (who somehow became like, her best friend), shook her head. " I have an idea. Hey, Chris ! Do you have any idea what a television is ? "

Chris shook his head. " Whass a television ? "

All of us started to crack up at that. Nobody - and I mean under the age of four - has not heard of a television. It is like an unknown rule that every person in almost every country has at least heard of a television (even though they personally do not have one). And...well, when you hear of a freakishly tall guy that lives seven miles outside of Veilstone City that has never heard of a television in his life...well, that just made his life sorta worse.

Chaos cackled insanely. " Ha - ha ! You're a noo - oob ! You're a noo - oob ! "

Darky-rai also taunted Chris. " Yeah ! You're just like all those people from...the Renaissance ! "

XO " OKAY, JUST FOR THAT, YOUR ROOMS ARE HERE BY DEMOTED ! "

DEMOTE !
(7 : 00 p.m.)

" Great. Thanks, Rai. You managed to get us in even crappier rooms ! " Rob angrily muttered. " Thanks a lot ! (I knew we should have taken our chances with Motel 8.) "

" Hey, how were we supposed to know that Chaos is vengeful ?! " Chaos retorted.

" Hello ? Vengerfinger ?! Vengeful ?! " ShadowKing said. " Get the picture in your head ?! "

Blaze took a bar of soap and pocketed it in his jacket. " So...you sure we can't burn down this hotel, Rosonetis ? "

-.- " Yes. I'm sure. Besides, I have some vague feelings that the spammers are lurking around here, " I said.

Suddenly, Kotor threw our door out of the way (into Maylene's dad and a hooker, I think) , picked up the bed, and tried desperately to hide under it, frantically beeping binary.

O.o " Uh, Kotor ? What the f--k are you trying to do ? I mean...if you were going to do the bed, you could have at least given us a warning, " Blaze stammered.

Kotor immediately started to shoot laser beams all over the place. We had to unplug him and reboot him before he started to act normal again.

" Keep that f--king girl with the emerald green eyes away from me ! She tried to override my CPU with pop - up ads and the corrupt version of MySpace ! " Kotor screeched.

" Who ? Emerald ? " Kagura asked. " Yeah. She's done some weird things before. "

" Like what ? "

" Lik- wait a minute. Who the hell are you ? "

It was a man - an older man. He had pasty white skin and dark black hair. He was wearing a Peter Pan outfit (including the skintight tights). He was none other than Diekel Fagson, the man who had a skin condition (which wasn't why he had such a horrible reputation, though), and seventeen lawsuits against him for being a perv and checking out every grown - up man ages 17 to 77.

" Hi ! I'm Diekel Fagson, and I want to be a little boy again 'cause I lived in a one - sided box ! I'm sixty years old and Michael Jackson is misunderstood ! I'm the real pervert here ! "

Kura sweatdropped. " How the hell did you get in here ? "

" I helped out some fat acne guy with his schemes in exchange for some free issues of Pokemon Playpen : Yaoi. And some of Tuxedo Mask's hair. "

Emerald came in then and shrieked in delight. " Ohhh ! You sly robot, Kotor ! Wow ! A real life Diekel Fagson ! And he is mine to capture ! " she said, holding up a pokeball in her hand.

Diekel paled even more. " Wait a minute. That wasn't part of the deeeeeeeeeal ! "

CAPTURE !

Emerald did an anime pose. " Sweet ! I caught a Diekel Fagson ! "

O.o (most of us)

T.T (Kotor) " You have f--king stalker issues. Do you have A.D.D. or somethin' like that ? "

-.- " Yes. Yes, I do. "

Ganon gave a small grin. " Yes ! Blaze owes me ten dollars ! "

Blaze threw a ten at Ganon, who went back to read his technician's manual. Obviously none of us were focused on our real mission, so Ange blew a dog - whistle (our very good taskmaster). " Hey ! I hear heavy breathing and generic cornchip rustling ! "

Sure enough, one of the spammers faced us. Emerald immediately took her pokeball and released Diekel Fagson from it. " Okay, since the other two retard spammers are wusses, I'm going to let you battle for the first time with this idiot ! "

Diekel panicked. " What are my attacks ? "

" You'll find out...in script format ! "

Spammer : SPAM !

Emerald : Quick, Diekel Fagson ! Use your yaoi punch !

DF : YAOI PUUUUUUNCH !

-oof-

Spammer : BAZOOKA !

DF : DISARM !

-disarmed!-

Emerald : Quick ! Use he-she girly screech !

DF : EEH - HEE - HEE !

Spammer : NOOOOOOOOO ! X.X

Emerald :

w00t !

Emerald recalled Diekel Fagson back to his pokeball. And as Chris came to check to see what happened, all of us managed to escape via window. (And of course, we sent Rowan the bill. XD )

End