Author Note: Thanks to all of you who reviewed last time and all the silent readers. Happy 2008, and hope you enjoy the chapter!

Dear Diary,

I had to visit the Ministry today, to complete the form for Draco to come and see Lucius. As with mine, it was excessively complicated, and required a photograph, proof of identity and the signatures of the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and either the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister or the Minister himself. That's why it took me so long to be able to go and visit Lucius; gaining those signatures took forever, as I kept being refused. It's extremely ungrateful, after all Lucius did for them.

Anyway, before I went to the Ministry, I went to visit Bella. I seemed to be doing an awful lot of visiting her lately, which was not at all to my liking, but I had to give her Rodolphus' message.

"Well, this is a surprise," she said when I arrived. "What is it this time?"

"I went to visit Lucius," I began.

"Don't tell me you told him about Draco! Cissy, you really are-"

"Of course I didn't tell him about Draco! I didn't want him to worry. This isn't about Draco."

"You're not a member of the Order under Polyjuice, are you?"

"No. But I'd say that if I were. Why would the Order send just one person disguised as me if they knew where you were? They'd get a band of Aurors and storm the place."

"Yes, but you coming here for something that isn't about Draco is quite a novelty."

"It's Rodolphus."

"Oh, him," she said indifferently.

"As I said, I was visiting Lucius, and he was in the cell next door. He gave me a message for you: he says-"

"He did what?"

"Bella-"

"Someone could have heard! He put you in serious danger, and went against the Dark Lord's wishes: the Dark Lord said not to make any communication-"

"Bella!"

She stopped.

"Don't you want to hear what he risked all that to say?"

"I expect something silly and soppy and completely pointless."

I ignored her. "He said he misses you."

"What a surprise," she said sarcastically.

"Don't you want to send any message back?"

"No! Didn't you hear what I said earlier?"

"He's your husband."

"So?"

I was furious, yet I wanted to cry at the same time. It wasn't really Bella I was angry with: on the contrary, it was Bella, the real Bella, I was angry for. Yet she was the only outlet for my anger, unless I was foolish enough to go and shout at the Dark Lord himself. "He loves you!" I screamed at her. "And I love you! You loved us, too, before-"

"I still care about you, Cissy. But I beg to differ about Rodolphus, I-"

"You did! I know you did. Bella, how can you carry on like this? He's destroying you! He's already destroyed you-"

"Are you still talking about Rodolphus?" She asked coldly.

"You know who I'm talking about. Bella, he toys with you. He enjoys being as cruel as he likes and knowing you'll always come crawling back! You know he doesn't-"

"How dare you!" She screamed. "How dare you! Get out! Get out!"

Her maddened fury terrified me, and I wasted no time in obeying, running for the door. Something hit the wall, whizzing just past my head, and then I saw her pull out her wand, but I reached the exit in time and swiftly returned to the secret room in the Manor, where I lay panting and gasping in shock and terror. Soon my gasps turned to tears, and I lay there for a long time.

Eventually, I managed to force myself to get up, tidy myself up and leave for the Ministry.

When I arrived, I gained the signature of the Head of Magical Law Enforcement without too much ado, and then proceeded to the upper floor in the hope of finding the Minister, Rufus Scrimgeour, present. I knew gaining his signature would take rather more time.

However, I quickly learnt that he was busy, and would not be signing any forms, so instead I was forced to choose the only available alternative: the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, Dolores Umbridge. Believe me, I most certainly would not be going to her if she wasn't the only available alternative. True, previously she had always acted respectfully towards Lucius and I, but as the new Minister, Scrimgeour, was against the Death Eaters, and now Lucius had been arrested, I was sure she would have changed her ideas.

With a sinking feeling, I knocked on the office door bearing the plaque: "Senior Undersecretary to the Minister".

"Come in," came a high-pitched, girlish voice.

I turned the door handle and entered, summoning all the regal bearing and haughty manner my education as a Black had endowed me with.

"Mrs Malfoy," she said with a giggle. I did not understand what was funny, but she giggled as a matter of course. "What may I do for you?"

"I require your signature for my son to visit his father," I said, placing the form on her desk.

"Well," she said, "it appears we have a problem."

"And why is that?"

"Well, I'm afraid that the Ministry deems it prudent to restrict access to Death Eaters in Azkaban. As I am sure you understand, it is a large security risk."

"To let a sixteen year old boy see his father?"

"I shall have to discuss this with the Minister, I am afraid. Come back tomorrow."

I nodded shortly, and took the form back from her desk.

"I will need to keep that," she said, in an even higher-pitched voice: a sure danger sign.

"If you wish," I replied as icily as I could. "Good day," I said as I walked out of the door, in a tone that clearly meant 'as bad a day as possible'.

After Dolores Umbridge, even Bella seems sweet and cuddly by comparison. I have been re-reading this diary, after writing the above, and reading the memories of Bella has made me feel guilty for what happened this morning more quickly than perhaps I would have otherwise. The idea frightens me, I will not pretend it doesn't, but I will have to go back and make what amends I can. It was low of me to say what I said (or almost said, in fact); the truth about the Dark Lord's feelings, or rather lack of them, is something she cannot bear to hear. She deludes herself constantly, and that truth hurts more than anything for her.

Well, I went.

When I arrived, I went from room to room calling for her. I was afraid when I found no answer: what if the Ministry had found her, or the Dark Lord had sent for her and she'd gone on some mission she wouldn't return from?

But I eventually found her, facedown on a bed in an upstairs room. She was a mess.

"Bella?" I said cautiously. I trod slowly across the room to stand behind her. She didn't stir a muscle.

"Bella? Bella, I'm sorry. Bella? Talk to me, please." I reached to touch her back, and then suddenly she jerked upwards. If she looked a mess before, what she looked like now was indescribable.

"Don't touch me," she hissed, her eyes slits, her teeth bared.

"Bella, please." Silence. "I'm really, really sorry." Still silence. "Look at the state you're in. Let me help you, please."

"I don't require your help."

"Bella-"

"Leave me alone."

"I'm sorry!"

"Leave me alone."

"I can't leave you like this."

Finally, she looked at me. "There's nothing you can do, Cissy. Look after Lucius and your son. There's nothing more you can do for me."

"At least let me stay with you." This time, when I sat beside her and touched her, she didn't react. I put my arms around her: still nothing, either good or bad. She was absolutely still, as though she didn't even know I was there. She didn't cry, didn't move, barely breathed. I cried for both of us.

I fear now that I have finally lost what little was left of my sister.

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